But if your heart breaks...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH

what do you do when you know someone really likes you but you just don't really feel that way? He tried to kiss me at least three times but I avoided, which could be thought annoying but I just don't know. I mean, he's a good friend and a nice guy and very smart, but I just don't feel that way around him. Something about the way he acts doesn't feel comfortable with me. I feel like going for him would be settling with someone I don't think I'd be happy with.
I say he's reserved, but maybe I'm more reserved around him, neither of which are good things, I think. It seems we have the same sense of humour, but I don't laugh very much. Not really fullheartedly, at least.
Graugh I have no idea. But my parents like him (no discredit to him, they had very interesting conversations) and probably think there's a mutual interest because who knows what parents talk about, but gosh jeebus holy sherry I feel like I'm on my guard all the time.
That's probably my fault, but I still don't like the feeling. Augh augh augh. Augh.

Words cannot express my love for:

-ABBA
-Harry Potter books on tape

they are my escapism, and they cheer me up immensely

70 New Questions You’ve Probably Never Been Asked.

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I'm procrastinating math. God, I wish I could just GET this is lot better than I do. Beeeh. This Friday I'm going home to see TASHER and I'm excciiiiited. But at this very moment I feel kind of at loose ends.
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Load your playlist full of your favorite songs. Put it on shuffle and press play. Fill in the first question and hit next for the next question. Do until it's completed.

1. Opening Credits: Marvin Gaye "How Sweet it is to be Loved by You" (I could totally picture me trying to hail a cab to get to work while this song is playing in the opening credits...)
2. Waking Up: Spice Girls "Wannabe" (no better song.)
3. Falling In Love: ABBA "Does Your Mother know that you're out" (hmmm... a little peppy for my taste in falling in love but...)
4. Fight Scene: The Beatles "Something" (for a dramatic, slow-motion fight scene no doubt)
5. Breaking Up: Haddaway "What is Love?" (oooh man perfect. I go out to a bar and get wasted while this song is playing and then stumble around. A+)
6. Looking Back on Your Life: Pink Martini "Dancez-Vous"
7. Getting Back Together: The Lion King "Hakuna Matata" (HAHahaha)
8. Secret Love: The Beatles "Happiness is a Warm Gun"
9. Life's Okay: The Beatles "Martha My Dear" (very true!)
10. Mental Breakdown: Hairspray "Ladies Choice" (not a mental breakdown at all...)
11. Partying: The Beatles "Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except me and my Monkey"
12. Driving: The Beatles "Sexy Sadie" (so many Bealtes)
13. Flashbacks: Ray Charles "Hard Times" (not good!)
14. Long Night Alone: Shirley Temple "Good Ship Lollipop" (wtf? Maybe if I'm sleeping during that long night alone)
15. Final Battle: The Beatles "Don't Pass Me By" (not at all.)
16. Death Scene: Ray Charles "Maryann" (weird)
17. Ending Credits: Bjork "Earth Intruders" (hmm)

the lj spotlight community "musicshuffle" sounds like a cool idea, so I'ma do it.
But first, it's weird getting ready to move in. I only have some tiny room in Morgan and Therese's apartment because I don't have an actual room yet. We went Ikea shopping to get most of the things I need, but it's still strange to me thinking I'm not going to be seeing so many people I'm used to seeing. It makes me a little sad. Although I will be seeing some people I know, which is awesome! I'm worried about food, and I feel like it will be weird having to eat out all the time and not just sitting down happily to dinner with my parents... I guess we all have to leave some time.
Orientation week starts on Sunday, and that's when I officially go to Guelph. I'm a little sad I can't call TO home anymore, and I'm thinking of all the friends who are still in TO and are living on campus but they're still in the city, still able to see everyone else who's still in the city. I hope my university experience will distract me from these kinds of thoughts... I don't want to be sad all the time. I just need it to start, I need to be settled and then I think I will be okay.

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Happy birthday Nigel!
I like the hairspray choreographer guy. Funny stuff.
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So I didn't have a mass commentary post on the last SYTYCD because I was graduating high school... which is weird, but also pretty cool. However, really sad because I forgot my yearbook at home and thus no one signed it and I only have maybe 4 people's signatures from the 500 kids at UFA. I'm pretty disappointed, but hopefully I'll see friends and parchance have my yearbook and then they can sign it.
First week of work (meaning Sundance) is over. I feel kind of awkward because I don't really know how to assist ballet classes, I just stand of the front of the room with my mouth shut and maybe walk around once and a while. I'll have to talk to Georgie to ask her if she has any expectations of what I should do, and then I could do that.
This weekend was pretty fun. Bubble tea and shopping, then sleeping over at Tasher's was the highlight, then for the rest of Saturday I pretty much only worked on my regency dress. It's almost done now, I just need to: sew the flowers; cut out the second sleeve and sew both sleeves on; cut, pleat and sew the neck ruffle; tack the ribbon onto the waist and finish the back. Okay, so I'm not THAT close to being done. But I'm excited for when it will be, and then the only problem is my hair. (PS this is what I hope the dress will look like! ee)
I'm still hoping to make myself a bodysuit, out of the green or gray jersey that I have. That would be fun. I've got the design in mind and everything. Exciting.
Next weekend is Wonderland, the weekend after that Ty's cottage, weekend after that Gwen's cottage. This summer has by far been the least boring one yet. So many things were happening BEFORE Sundance started, and so many things are happening during Sundance, I have no time to be bored. Hopefully I'll still have time to complete my list. I'll post it here, although it's also on facebook.
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HARRY POTTER is coming out soon. I'm really excited. Book 5 is the one I remember the least, but I'm still really excited. w00t!

I am FINALLY DONE SCHOOL! Now I'm trying to register my courses but I can't choose my elective, it's so hard. Studio art? but I feel like University Art would be pretentious and difficult. Maybe. Or a humanity.
Pride Prom was pretty fun, Ty won prom queen, and there were these two people who were dancing the whole time and they were actually the most amazing dancers ever. I wish they were my best friends.

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I should be studying, but I'm watching SYTYCD. Uuuuh... yeah I'm a little worried but here's my MASSIVE COMMENTARY POST!

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ahh, apart from updating, I finally got to watch Ugly Betty again. All my Thursdays have been full so I've missed all the drama-rama that's happening. And oh god there's so much drama, it's liek the producers FEEL THE NEED to introduce at least 3 new plot lines every show. But that's okay.
I have a lot of homework, probably way more than I think. I need to write an essay, study for geometry, do this chem lab write-up, and justify my two literary theory choices for my book (which I finished reading yay! I need a new book more. I've forgotten how fun reading is). And on Tuesday the announcements announced we only have 29 days left of school. That means 26 on Friday. Like, woah. That is crazy. EXAMS ARE COMING
But wow, it's the last year. 26 days until no more UFA. That's kind of sad, I really did like highschool. And I dunno, I feel like University won't be as fun. It's hard, you have to make new friends, and I still haven't chosen where to go. I want to go to Guelph, because I feel like I'd like the program more, but I love the U of T campus. U of T just seems really competitive and I don't really like that feeling. My dad keeps hinting obviously that he wants me to go to U of T, and then he's like "oh, but don't let other people tell you where to go". Augh.

I hope the weather clears up and becomes normal. That keeps me very happy. Now I need to get some ice cream.