• Mercatoni Pravettoni: In "Pellicce Pravettoni" Pravettoni says that he's selling eco-friendly furs, only for him to reveal shortly after that the furs are made from real animals.

• Happy Friends: In Season 7 episode 13, Little M. realizes Clown Monster's ability is to use the energy of people's laughs to turn them into stone and he wants to make him laugh, so he confidently states he won't let himself be persuaded to laugh... and then he immediately laughs afterward, thus getting himself petrified.
• Mechamato:
  • Pian's mother, who's away from home, tells her son that he needs to get used to being by himself, and for that reason hired 10 bodyguards and 10 butlers to keep him company. However, when Pian tells her he sent them all back, she is impressed.
  • One child at a preschool warns another student not to talk to strangers when Paintasso appears at their ceiling, right before the kid asks for the intruder robot's name and where he lives.

• Asteroid in Love: In chapter 17/fifth episode, the Earth Sciences Club caught Sayuri peeking into their own clubroom. When asking Sayuri about her motive, she says "No! No details for you!"... followed by a very detailed Motive Rant.
• Aquarion EVOL: Right in the middle of one of her "boys are disgusting, you should always turn them down firmly" rants, Mix suddenly remembers that she had promised to meet up with Andy, whom she's been very obviously crushing on for some time, and runs off.
• In the 10th anniversary edition of Azumanga Daioh, Osaka overhears Kaorin gushing about Sakaki and asks if Kaorin is gay. Kaorin corrects Osaka, telling her that the correct term is "lesbian"... and then has a panic attack as she denies that she is a lesbian. Whereupon she immediately tries to play off her feelings as a "teenage thing", and when she was gushing over Sakaki she was doing it platonically anyway, and just to prove she's not a lesbian: she wouldn't mind if Sakaki was a guy... Osaka became confused.
• In Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, Bobobo explains to the wealth-obsessed villain Halekulani that there are things more important than money. Like money!
• Delicious in Dungeon: After resurrecting Falin for the first time, Marcille assures both her and the rest of the party that the magic she used to do so is entirely safe and legitimate, before telling them that they should never talk about it again, forget that it happened, and dispose of the evidence that she did it before anyone sees.
• Dragon Ball Z: In the Bad Future, Bulma tells Trunks nice things about his father while her thought bubbles reveal she really knew him only as a cold-blooded killer. When Trunks returns with good stories of Vegeta she's genuinely surprised, though she doesn't let Trunks see it.
• Kirby: Right Back at Ya!: In "Tooned Out", Dedede hires three animators to make a cartoon about him, but they want to make it about Tiff instead. Tiff soon catches them taking pictures of her (to base their drawings on) and recording her voice to use in their show. Tiff angrily tells the animators she doesn’t want to be the star of their show, and they reply, "If you say so, star!"
• In Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun, Wakamatsu aggressively denies to Seo, Nozaki and Sakura that he's a tsundere (specifically for Seo). While doing so, he puts his hand on his hip while pointing with his other hand and afterward he stutters, "So i-it's not as if I like you or anything, Senpai!" The others snark that those are very stock tsundere traits.
• In Suite Pretty Cure ♪, Ellen denies being afraid of hermit crabs, then two seconds later, screams her head off when Hibiki shows her one.

• Achille Talon has a bulldog-faced American general claim, with absolute sincerity, that if there's one thing he hates more than the Chinese, it's racism.
• Making Comics: McCloud concludes the introduction with "In short: there are no rules. And here they are."
• Secret Wars (2015): As Reed Richards and the Maker (the Reed of Earth-1610) are talking about what to do with Doctor Doom, the Maker first says he wants to defeat him, then in the next sentence says he means to destroy him. Reed decides to move past this in favor of what might happen to the universe they're in if they do.
• The Simpsons Futurama Crossover Crisis: After arriving in Springfield, Bender says he doesn't remember anything and that he reeks of booze. He then adds that he learned his lesson and will never drink again. However, the next panel reveals he's right next to Moe's and he decides to have a few beers to celebrate his new sobriety.
• Supergirl: In Superman's Super-Courtship!, Superman declares he cannot get married because his duty to protect Earth will always come first. Some few panels later, Superman is willing to leave Earth to marry Luma Lynai.
• Worlds Finest 1990: When Joker and Luthor are making a deal, one of Joker's conditions is two weeks vacation in Metropolis, for which he claims he needs a bill of passage from the city's king. Luthor refuses to engage with this, and says Joker can take his vacation anywhere he likes and it's nothing to do with him ... but he might find Metropolis uncomfortable after one week.

• Near the end of The Boondocks, Huey decides to finally kick off his revolution to overthrow the system and starts recruiting his friends to join him. When he asks Jazmine she tells him that there's no way she can because her overprotective parents don't even allow her to go further from home than the second light post down the street. When Huey offers to be her friend if she does, she instantly agrees without a second's pause.
• The page image from Calvin and Hobbes comes from the 1995/02/10 strip, where Susie walks up to Calvin after a snowball nearly hits her. Calvin initially denies that he did it before following it up with "Besides, I missed, didn't I?". He then gets pummelled into the ground.
• Dilbert: In this strip, the Pointy-Haired Boss goes right from an optimistic forecast of company profits to an explanation that the company can't afford to give out raises this year. There was supposed to be something else in between, but his secretary messed with the agenda.
• On Garfield, Garfield often utilizes this as a form of comedy whenever he's arguing with Jon over how much he eats and sleeps:
  • In one comic, Jon insists on eating 2 cookies and Garfield only have one. Garfield complains that's not fair. Camera zoom out so we see that Garfield's cookie has the radius of a bicycle wheel while Jon's two are miniature (at least compared to Garfield's cookie).
  • In one comic, Garfield claimed he's going to cut back on sleeping by taking only 2 naps per day instead of 4. However, he specifically meant 2 four-hour naps when he originally did 4 two-hour naps.
  • Garfield claimed he would cut down on coffee by drinking only 1 cup. Next panel, he has a bathtub-sized cup of coffee. Alongside 50 donuts.
• Knights of the Dinner Table: Bob and Dave come up with a plan to steal a supposedly valuable item from a temple by disguising their characters as acolytes. When a suspicious guard stumps them with basic questions on the religion's tenets, Bob contradicts himself with just one statement: "I tell him we've taken a vow of silence."

• All Mixed Up! has an example from Chapter 8 that is definitely not played for comedy. Otto is worried about Olive not showing up for work and not going with the rest of the precinct to Mariana Mag's aquarium, and begs Oprah to wait for her. It's not until later that he realizes his partner's been attacked by Mariana herself.
  Otto: Ms. O, can't we wait just a little while longer? She'll be here soon, I'm sure of it!
  Oprah: Are you?
  Otto: No. I'm not. I'm worried she's disappeared, too.
• In Batman Written by an AI, Joker declares that "I have never followed a rule. That is my rule," before observing that not even he can follow that line of 'logic'.
• Cain (MHA): Katsuki engages in an immense amount of Doublethink in order to justify his treatment of Izuku, resulting in a lot of this. For instance, he firmly believes that Izuku is an utter crybaby with no handle whatsoever on his emotions... and that he's a Manipulative Bastard who only sheds Crocodile Tears, acting as though these are both somehow simultaneously true.
• The Chronicles of Tanya the Fuerher: John Henry can't figure out why he was made a supervisor of TvD's rail network in America, citing he's just a common joe and doesn't really do anything that'd be considered boss work. Immediately after John has that thought, he chews out one of his workers for napping on company time and demands he get back to work.
• Danny Phantom: Fire And Ice: Played for Drama and combined with Insecure Love Interest. Ember wonders if she's simply too selfish and horrible to ever be worthy of Danny, then notices that he seems unhappy and immediately shoves her inner conflict aside to focus on helping him, seemingly unaware of how her actions don't line up with her fears about herself.
• The Forbidden Drink II: Return of the Titans: In the first chapter, Luz denies that she still has lingering issues with Amity (who scarred her while under the Collector's control in the previous story), and says that if she were to show up at the Owl House's door, Luz would ask her out on the spot. Then Luz opens the door and sees that Amity is in fact there, at which point Luz slams the door in her face and flees out the back.
• Forever And A Mile: Octavia immediately rejects Opie's suggestion to head back to their headquarters, insisting that she's not tired, even as she struggles to find her footing in the plastic ball pit and get her eyes to focus properly.
• Hazbin Hotel — All I Want For Christmas Is You: Angel and Husk are quick to change their tune whenever Charlie bribes them with the promise of eggnog. First, when she is presenting her plan, they keep shaking their heads at her until she turns to the next page and shows a drawing of eggnog — then they switch to enthusiastic nodding. Then, when she assigns them to bring back a tree, they look at her with skepticism until she also assigns them to bring back eggnog — without changing their expressions, they shoot her thumbs ups and dash off.
• I Can't Be a Magical Girl!! You, a Magical Girl, Say: The Bad Influencer Tazmine Girl is all about this:
  • After the public learns about Minute Maid, Tazmine Girl enthusiastically declares that she loves Minute Maid — right before launching into a baseless conspiracy theory accusing her of causing the Gray Men attacks.
  • After the Kronos attack, she tells Hiboshi off for suggesting the heroes are to blame for the casualties, declaring that "This isn't the time for a manhunt, it's the time for recovery!" She then instantly pivots into blaming everything on Minute Maid again.
• I Want to Understand: Peridot tries to meticulously unwrap a gift Steven got her, Steven informs her that it's ok to just tear off the wrapping paper, to which Peridot fires back that she knew that and simply chooses to do it her way... before ripping off the paper.
  Steven: Uh, Peridot, I thought you said...
  Peridot: I changed my mind.
• Insomnia (Undertale): That's not very reassuring, Papyrus...
  Papyrus: AND I HAVE AN IMPECCABLE MEMORY FOR EVERYTHING! EXCEPT FOR THE THINGS I DON'T!
• The Karma of Lies: After Adrien claims that Lila's lies aren't really hurting anyone, Marinette retorts that she's being hurt, only for Adrien to reply that "You're our everyday Ladybug. I know you're strong enough to handle her." Not only is he casually dismissing her pain, his choice of words acknowledges that she is being hurt — he just doesn't care enough to do anything about it because he's not the one affected.
• The Line Between Midoriya Izuku and Bakugo Katsuki: Katsuki thinks to himself that he'll come up with an eloquent way of explaining to Aizawa just why he's unimpressed with his fitness evaluation tests, before promptly asking "Are you aware of how fucking stupid this is?"
• In this MLP comic, right after the title says Trixie is "redeemable", Trixie is implied not to think it's wrong that she took Pinkie's mouth away.
• OSMU: Fanfiction Friction: Todd is set to play The Mole to the Mobile Unit, going to spy on Basil Valentine for them so they can stop the Enfant Terrible and his two cronies. However, he is very hesitant due to not wanting to jump off the slippery slope and go back to being evil again. When putting on his old suit that he wore when he was a villain, he tries to talk himself out of it by saying that perhaps the suit won't fit him any longer. Seconds later and he finds that it fits him perfectly, much to his chagrin.
• Redemption Song: Asuka declares she cannot care less what happens to Shinji, and one second later tosses her jacket at Shinji because it's cold.
  "See ya, Shikinami!" Toji waved, walking towards the settlement. "Don't worry, Ikari's in good hands."
  "Like I give a damn," snapped the redhead, and as though wanting to contradict herself marched into the house in a flash. "Hey, brat!"
  Shinji turned just in time to have the soft material impact against his face. The jacket almost slid into the ground, Toiji raised a surprised eyebrow upon realizing Shinji moved quicker than he'd seen all morning to keep the piece of fabric from falling on the moist grass. A swift, knowing smirk was hidden away as the elder Suzuhara averted his head to stare at the village.
  "It's cold, you dimwit." Asuka growled from the house. "Don't get it dirty."
• In this She-Ra and the Princesses of Power fanart, set after a hypothetical redemption arc for Catra, Catra goes straight from insisting that the picture of her as a member of the Best Friends Squad is a fake that she most certainly didn't draw to basically admitting it by being upset that Adora is crumpling it.
• A Snow Queen In NYC: When Cassandra comes to give a message to April and Elsa about the Foot Clan's activities, she shouts for joy that she has mastered subtlety. Her screaming attracts the attention of everyone around her, giving her an audience as she leaps over a gate, knocks over a trash can, and gets chased by a cop.
• Twinkling in the Dark: In the seventh chapter, Akaoni picks up Joker and pats his back to try and burp him, which Joker insists he doesn't need. He burps as soon he finishes the sentence, much to his embarrassment.
• Before meeting Buffy, Xander, and Willow in Working for the Weekend, Faith promises to be on her best behavior. This lasts right up until she sees them and recognizes them from earlier in the day.
  Faith: The penguin fuckers!
• In Tempus Fugit by leavethesky, the narration says of Dawn, "It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Anya, really, it was more that she didn’t trust Anya."
• In Your Favorite Animal (Dogs), Alix claims Nathaniel always gets really mushy around dogs, which Nathaniel denies, only to immediately prove her right by cooing at Marc (who has recently been turned into a dog by an akuma) in Baby Talk.
• Your Heart a Haven of Thorns (Naruto): Played for Laughs when Ino tries to reassure Sakura that she actually likes her Important Haircut, claiming that it was done well... until she learns Kakashi cut Sakura's hair for her, at which point she has critiques to make:
  Ino: I was totally lying earlier, this hairstyle looks so cute on you! And it's really well done! Did you do this yourself?
  Sakura: No, Kakashi-sensei did it.
  Ino: (side-eyeing him) You could have feathered it a bit more.
  Kakashi: I didn't have any scissors with me to—

• The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad
  Moley: But aren't you afraid of the police?
  Toad: Afraid of the police? I, Toad, afraid of the police?! (laughs)
  MacBadger: (knocking) Open up! Open up, I say!
  Toad: The police!
• Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget: Rocky tells Ginger that there's no need to worry with him on the job of looking after their daughter...and immediately asks what to do in a panic when Molly begins breaking the eggshell.
• Despicable Me 2 has this from Gru - "Firstly, you can't prove I stole the moon. Secondly, after I stole the moon, I put it back."
• Frozen II: Olaf recaps the plot of Frozen:
  Olaf: Doors shutting everywhere! Sisters torn apart! (smiles) Well, at least they have their parents!
  (cut to Olaf standing to the side looking sullen)
  Olaf: Their parents are dead.
  (later in the same scene)
  Olaf: And Anna freezes to death... forever. And then she unfreezes!
• Monsters vs. Aliens: "I come in peace, I mean you no harm, and you all will die. Gallaxhar out."
• Invoked in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse:
  Miles: You're not a joke! Right, gang?
  Gwen: Absolutely!
  Pavitr: Completely unamusing!
  Hobie: I don't believe in comedy! (beat) Just kidding!
• The Super Mario Bros. Movie: When Kamek reports about Mario being in the Mushroom Kingdom, Bowser simply tells him to jam on the piano with him as he asks him more questions. Kamek infers from his questions that Bowser feels threatened that Peach might like Mario more than him. Bowser subtly lets him know that this isn't the case.
  Bowser: Does the princess... like him?
  Kamek: Sire, look in the mirror! You have nothing to worry about!
  Bowser: I know that. I'm not threatened.
  (crushes Kamek's fingers with the piano cover)
  Bowser: FIND OUT WHO HE IS, AND WHAT THEY'RE PLANNING!!!
• Who Framed Roger Rabbit: Eddie Valiant exploits the rule that cartoons can do anything, as long as it's funny by pulling a Rabbit Season Duck Season on Roger Rabbit in order to force him to take a shot of whiskey, which would allow Roger to escape Judge Doom.
  Eddie: Drink the drink!
  Roger: But I don't want the drink!
  Judge Doom: He doesn't want the drink!
  Eddie: He does!
  Roger: I don't!
  Eddie: You do!
  Roger: I don't!
  [...]
  Eddie: You don't!
  Roger: I do!

• In American Hustle, Rosalyn tells her son: "You know that I would never say anything bad about your father in front of you, but your father is a sick son of a bitch."
• Assassination On The Tiber: The public defendant tasked to defend Venticello in his trial tells him not to worry, as he'll think about everything for his defense. He then proceeds to do everything in his power to send him in jail.
• Austin Powers in Goldmember has this memorable quote from Nigel Powers: "There's only two things I hate in this world: People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch."
• Batman: The Movie: After realizing there is nothing he can do about the body switching of the United World delegates, Batman suggests he and Robin leave inconspicuously through the window. Of an important building. Being watched by the world. The total definition of "inconspicuous".
• The Big Lebowski, the film's Stupid Evil title character makes one:
  Big Lebowski: I don't blame anyone for the loss of my legs! Some Chinaman took them from me in Korea!
• Box Office 3D: The Filmest of Films: In the The Da Vinci Code (2006) parody segment, Frank Strong's main characteristic is that he says something only to contradict himself in the next statement or through his actions.
• Constantine (2005): Chas Kramer has been bugging the title character about being able to get into Papa Midnite's bar for some time. What John means in this case is that Chas is allowed to get in if he is capable of getting in. He won't object to the kid being in the bar if he can pass the psychic door test.
  Chas Kramer: Can you please get me into this bar, John, please? I'm begging you, John, please?
  Constantine: Sure, you can get in.
  Chas Kramer: I can get in?
  Constantine: If you can get in.
• Couples Retreat has this quote:
  Dave: What we need to do now is get focused and stop pointing fingers. [points at Joey] You're a problem. You're a real, real problem.
• In Dad's Army (1971), just as Mr. Jones tells Mr. Mainwaring that there's nothing wrong with his eyes, he walks into a bike parked in front of him.
• Defending Your Life: A Running Gag is the fact Daniel is told he's not on trial, but he's being tried.
  Daniel: Oh my God! So I'm on trial for being afraid!
  Mr. Diamond: First, we don't like to call it a trial. Second, yes.
• Doctor... Series:
  • In Doctor in Distress (1963), Sir Lancelot refuses to let the Australian sailor and Rosie sit in the same First Class compartment on the train as him and Dr. Sparrow... until he is offered some rum, and he is all for the idea.
  • Doctor in Trouble: Immediately after Wendover tells Dawn he can spot Gold Diggers a mile off, he asks her to join him for a cocktail after the evening meal, unaware that the only reason she is cruising on the Golden Horn is to land a rich husband.
• Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves: Once they finally get their hands on the helmet of disjunction, Xenk hands it to Edgin, asking him to solemnly promise that he will guard it with his life. Edgin says he will...and immediately passes it to Simon.
  Edgin: Hold this.
• Gabriel Over the White House: Hammond institutes "A dictatorship based on Jefferson's definition of democracy". This of course is an oxymoron, and would completely horrify Thomas Jefferson, who wholly opposed the kind of oppressive central government Hammonds sets up.
• In the epilogue of Gramps Is in the Resistance, coming from Guy-Hubert, as the shouting match with Ramirez Jr. gets heated.
  Guy-Hubert: There's no words to describe what you are, Ramirez! There's no words anymore!... asshole.
• The original fake trailer/mini-movie of Grindhouse parody Hobo with a Shotgun opens up on the titular Hobo angrily screaming at an unfortunate mook to tell every criminal to get out of the city NOW, before blasting him to bits. This being a Grindhouse parody, it's deliberately not big on logic.
• Hot Rod: When Rod introduces his Love Interest to his crew, each one of them keeps copying his "My name is [name], and I like to party" line. After a bit of back and forth, Rod finishes with this outburst:
  Rod: Oh my God, shut up! Okay, I'm just gonna do it for you. Denise, this is the crew. Dave's the mechanic, Rico makes the ramps, and Kevin is team manager slash videographer. None of them party, right? Got it? Okay. Let's party."
• Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull: Indy tells Marion to ease off her son Mutt about dropping out of school. When Marion tells Indy that Mutt is actually also his son, Indy gets angry that she let Mutt drop out of school. He reiterates the same thing in a later conversation to Mutt, after previously telling him it was fine to drop out.
  Indy: You're gonna go back and finish school!
  Mutt: Really? What happened to, "there's not a damn thing wrong with it, kid, and don't let anybody else tell you any different"? You don't remember saying that?!
  Indy: That was before I was your father!
• Joker (2019): Hoyt doesn't believe Arthur's claim that some kids beat him up and took his "Everything Must Go!" sign because it doesn't make any sense to him why someone would steal a worthless plywood sign. With almost the very same breath, he then accuses Arthur of stealing the sign and threatens to dock his pay unless he returns it; when Arthur asks what possible reason he could have to steal the sign, Hoyt answers "How the fuck do I know? Why does anybody do anything?"
• The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring:
  Frodo: I'm going to Mordor alone.
  Sam: Of course you are. And I'm coming with you!
• Marvel Cinematic Universe:
  • In Avengers: Age of Ultron, Baron Von Strucker telling his men that they will never surrender, before turning to his second-in-command and saying:
    Strucker: I'm going to surrender.
  • In Avengers: Endgame, when Scott Lang shows up at he Avengers Headquarters with a crazy plan to erase what Thanos has done...
    Steve Rogers: Wait, are you talking about a time machine?
    Scott Lang: No. No, of course not. No, not a time machine. This is more like... Yeah, like a time machine.
• Not Okay: Played for Drama. When Harper confronts Danni with proof of her fraud, Danni claims to have become a different person. She then desperately tries to bribe Harper to stay quiet about what she found.
• Office Space has Tom Smykowski's attempt to explain to interviewers what he contributes to the workforce. Needless to say, he got laid off.
  I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?
• Norman Bates of Psycho has a habit of doing this, which makes him a strangely Bad Liar for someone who has a lot to hide.
  Norman: [about his mother's abuse] I don't mind it anymore.
  Marion: Oh, but you should. You should mind it.
  Norman: I do, but I say I don't.
• Raising the Wind:
  • Just as Chesney brags to Miranda that he "never falls back", he tries to sit in a chair that he doesn't realise isn't behind him and falls flat on his behind with the whole canteen watching and laughing at him.
  • When Malcolm has had too much to drink, he runs off to be sick, causing Alex to laugh that "some of us can take it and some of us can't". He has another sip of his drink, before heading off in the same direction as Malcolm.
• R.O.T.O.R. is loaded with jarring discrepancies between dialogue and on-screen imagery.
  • During the establishing shots of Dallas, a traffic reporter describes severe traffic congestion, while the viewer can see that the highway is clear.
  • Coldyron claims that R.O.T.O.R. has no 'tubes', precisely as the camera is panning over the robot's... tubes.
  • Coldyron claims to have 'crippled' R.O.T.O.R.'s motorcycle. Meanwhile R.O.T.O.R. zips away at full speed, totally unscathed by Coldyron's bullets.
• Santa Claus Conquers the Martians includes the following in its Spelling Song, and yes, the lyrics are on screen:
  You spell it S-A-N-T-A C-L-A-U-S, hooray for Santy Claus!
• In The Suicide Squad when Blackguard panics about being seated next to Weasel, who he's scared is a werewolf, Flagg is quick to reassure him.
  Flagg: Don't worry, he's harmless. Well he's not harmless, he's killed 27 children, but...
• Sweden: Heaven and Hell: Very frequently this 1968 mondo film will show people who are clearly having the time of their life, but the narration will describe them as deeply unhappy.
• Transformers: Age of Extinction has Galvatron invoke this when summoning his KSI Drones:
  Galvatron: MY BROTHERS! Today I grant you your freedom, and from now on, you are commanded by me! RISE UP!
• Twice Round the Daffodils: Just as Henry insists that he's not afraid of the "refrigerated old ice cube" of a Matron, she makes her presence known and he quickly gets into his bed to avoid any confrontation.
• Up Pompeii! films:
  • When Ludicrus Sextus is trying to get the jailer to let Lurcio go free in Up Pompeii!:
    Ludicrus Sextus: Well, if you could see your way... to letting him get away.
    Jailer: Wait a minute. Do I look like the sort of man who would accept a bribe?
    Ludicrus Sextus: Well, yes, you do, actually.
    Jailer: You're dead right.
  • Up the Front: After Lurk assures Captain Nigel that nothing will make him desert his post, he hears gunshots and runs for it.
• Who's Afraid of Dracula?: At the start of the film, Fracchia tells the woman he's dating that he isn't a scaredy cat and that he fears nothing, only for him to jump from a window as he sees a little girl wearing a mask.
• In Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, Wonka has several occasions of saying something, then stopping, and exclaiming "Strike that! Reverse it!"
• In The World's End, Gary rejects the offer of the Network to be replaced by a young copy with some of his memories that can live his life over, tearing off the head of his duplicate and shouting that there's only one Gary King. Later in the same conversation he declares that its plan to assimilate humanity is doomed because there's more than one Gary King (i.e. that there are too many humans who value their freedom over anything the Network can offer).
  The Network: But you said-

• A man is suspected of a bank robbery. After a long trial, the judge finds him not guilty. The man is overjoyed at the verdict, and asks, 'So does that mean I get to keep the money, Your Honor?'^note Even funnier: he could (at least in the US) due to laws against double jeopardy - though he'd be taxed for the proceeds.
• There's an old joke about a man being accused of breaking his neighbor's teapot. He responds: 'I never touched it, it was broken before I got it, it was in perfect condition when I returned it, and there is no teapot.'
• An old joke: I do not smoke, do not drink, and do not swear... Shit, I dropped my cigarette into the cognac again!
• One boy says to the other "Did you know 'sugar' is the only word where 's' makes the 'sh' sound?" The other boy asks "Oh, really?" and the first replies "Yeah, for sure."
• A rather subtle example is an alleged quote frequently attributed to Sigmund Freud:
  Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it myself a hundred times.

By Author:

• Dave Barry often uses this. For example, an attack ad claiming a politician had relations with a sheep named Bernice. The politician denies the whole thing, and besides, her name was Jennifer.
• Marquis de Sade's libertines would often offer contradictory justifications for their crimes, such as claiming that what they did is natural and therefore right, then that morals simply don't exist or are entirely relative. They might also whine that society is cruel to prevent them acting on their desires with its laws, but then say their acts can't be helped since free will is just an illusion — wouldn't that apply to the people "oppressing" them legally as well? Sometimes they were called on this by others (not that it helped them, or at all dissuaded the libertine characters), but usually it goes uncommented on. A reader may find it unsurprising though, viewing these as just rationalizations of their atrocities.

By Title:

• In Devin and the Teacher the unnamed narrator insists the title character Devin isn't a troublemaker; then promptly lists all the times he had caused trouble.
• Discworld:
  • In Moving Pictures, Gaspode the wonder dog speaks in the presence of several of the human characters. One of them asks, "Can that dog talk?" and another answers, "He says he can't." The first is left to confusedly concede, "I guess he would know..."
  • In Monstrous Regiment, one of the characters explains early on that she had a sweetheart who joined the army, and she gave him a sixpence to take to the blacksmith and be cut in half so they could each have a half, like in the "broken token" ballads, in case of No Doubt the Years Have Changed Me, but his regiment must have been called away because she never saw him again... Near the end of the book, she's told that they think they've found him. And she looks at the guy, and the expression on his face when he thinks there might be an advantage to marrying one of the heroines of the hour, and says her Johnny must have been killed. And also, she wants him to give her the sixpence back.
  • Duke Felmet's string of denials about killing Verence I at the end of Wyrd Sisters, which starts "I wasn't even there, and anyway he attacked me", and then keeps going until he eventually concludes "That's it. He tripped and fell on his own dagger in self defence."
  • In Men at Arms, when Vimes is Off the Wagon, he responds to Carrot saying "I think he's a bit drunk" with "Drun'? 'm not drun'! You wouldn' dare call m' drun' if I was sober!"
• In Doglands, Pace does this.
  Pace: I don't mean to be patronizing-that means 'talking down to someone,' by the way.
• In the Dragonlance novel Brothers Majere, a kender taunts an enemy with "I wouldn't tell you if your pants were unlaced, which, by the way, they are."
• Happens in the narration of The Eye of Argon a couple of times. "Cushioning their bare feet were plush red velvet slippers" — if they're wearing slippers, how are their feet bare?
• Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban: Harry, at the time a 3rd year, has not been given permission to go to Hogsmeade, an all-wizard town. Head Boy Percy assures Harry he's not missing anything while listing off a series of cool shops, places, and things Harry will be missing.
• The Hunger Games: Katniss lists three things of why Haymitch's life sucks: he has no wife, children, and he drinks a lot. In the next paragraph, she states she won't get a wife or children either.
• The Kidnapping of Courtney Van Allen & What's-Her-Name: When Courtney's rude governness Denise is telling Courtney (and Jan with her) to get up and leave that night, she initially says they're going to Long Island because Courtney's grandmother is entertaining there—and just left, so she can't be spoken to about it and they'll meet her later. She also tells Jan her Aunt Harry has agreed for her to go so Jan doesn't call her to ask. When they get downstairs and Hugo is there to drive them instead of the limo driver, Denise says that she didn't say they were going to Courtney's grandmother's house on Long Island, just to Long Island—and Hugo says it's to visit his grandmother and Courtney's will be there in a day or two, contradicting Denise who then clarifies that Isabelle will meet them later. Hugo then claims they're actually going out for an unscheduled therapeutic session—and Jan being there will be good for her too, even though it's clear they simply didn't plan for Jan's presence.
• Peter Pan: Wendy wakes up to find Peter crying on the floor. Before she can find out why he's crying, they have to introduce themselves, which leads to them getting sidetracked onto the subject of parents and the fact that Peter hasn't got a mother. Wendy assumes that this is why he was crying, which gets an indignant response from Peter: "I wasn't crying about mothers, I was crying because I can't get my shadow to stick on. Besides, I wasn't crying."
• In Rob Roy, Andrew Fairservice expects to get away with stealing a horse because the Scottish judiciary is fair, unlike its English counterpart, and "[his] mother's mother's third cousin is cousin to the Provost of Dumfries and will not suffer his kin to be put on trial".
• Whateley Universe: In No Beast So Fierce, Jadis notices one of her brother's missing gadgets among the things Belphoebe received from Belphegor. She and Belphoebe start arguing, with Jadis angry over the theft and Belphoebe denying it indignantly. Jobe tries to defuse the situation, but changes tack mid-sentence when he notices one of his own missing devices in the stash.
  "Ladies, ladies, LADIES!" Jobe oiled soothingly, "there's no need to get all upset about... HEY! That's my neural-implant splicing-servo that disappeared in November! Why you little..."

Other:

• A Finnish logic textbook has an example where you have to figure out for yourself why it's a contradiction. The rabbit is on trial and claims not to be guilty, but when the prosecutor claims that if the rabbit did it, he had an accomplice, the rabbit says that that's a lie — whereupon the judge deems him guilty. If the "if" is interpreted as a material conditional, then the only way the claim "If he did it, he had an accomplice" gets the value "false" is if he did it and he didn't have an accomplice. You might even apply some similar reasoning with normal language, but it gets much more uncertain.

• The A-Team, "Chopping Spree". When Hannibal figures out that Tony Victor is planning on killing the D.A. trying to punish him at Judge Holloway's funeral, Face protests that Victor's "not crazy enough" to do something like that. After a brief pause, he admits that, yes, he is crazy enough.
• In the British show All Creatures Great And Small, Siegfried is often guilty of telling his employees to do something, then at some point negating what he just said (he has a very bad short-term memory).
• Arrested Development: Gob, in denial about having a son in "Forget Me Now":
  Gob: Steve Holt's not my son.
  George-Michael: Steve Holt? The moron jock?
  Gob: That's my son, you pothead.
• Subverted in the Batman episode "Batman Displays His Knowledge", when Batman ponders whether the reported bad luck associated with a particular treasure (phrased as an "amusing old wives' tale") will hold true. Robin's reaction is shock that Batman, of all people, might believe in superstition.
  Batman: Me? Superstitious? Nonsense. ...Ah! Never walk under a ladder, Robin.
  Robin: Batman, I'm surprised at you.
  Batman: Not at all. There is a custom based on fact. The ladder could fall and hit you on the head. Or someone could slip and fall from the ladder. It doesn't pay to court disaster, Robin.
• The Big Bang Theory:
  • Penny tries to flaunt her vegetarianism but lets loose a specific detail:
    Penny: I'm a vegetarian, oh, except for fish, and the occasional steak, I LOVE STEAK!
  • Zack tries to encourage Penny not to ditch the Justice League cosplay party when she refuses to put on the black wig to play Wonder Woman. He does this by saying, "Penny, there's no i in Justice League".
  • When Leonard asks Mary Cooper if she liked the sushi he took her out to, she replies "It was good, only thing would've made it better if it was cooked. And if it was beef."
• In Black Books, Evan, the slightly unhinged owner of rival bookstore Goliath Books does this in a pep talk.
  Evan: Selling books is like a game; it has rules, and you have to learn them and get serious about them because it's not a game!
• Les Boys: When Popol wants to sell the pub in Season 5, he needs Valérie's signature to do so. During a meeting with Mr. Marchand and Phil, he says it's gonna be super easy for him to convince her to sign, only to immediately add that he doesn't know how.
• Used often in Brass Eye to satirize incompetent news media, most notably with this gem:
  "Now that is scientific fact. There's no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact."
• Les Brillant: When Anatole introduces Agnès to Régine and Claire, we get the following exchange:
  Régine: Tell me... Would it be indiscreet to ask your age?
  Agnès: Oh no, ma'am.
  Régine: Then what's your age?
  Agnès: Well it's quite personal, ma'am.
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine: In "The Set Up", Terry tells Charles:
  "I would never do something that childish. And you would know that if you weren’t a big stinky dum-dum who smells like butts."
• Chappelle's Show:
  • In the segment "Ask a Gay Dude with Mario Cantone", a viewer asks if receiving oral sex from a male is better than receiving it from a woman, to which Cantone frustratingly replies that he doesn't know and moves on to the next question, only to shout that it's better shortly afterwards.
  • And also in the famous Rick James episode, where the real Rick James at first denies grinding his dirty boots into Eddie Murphy's new couch, and then moments later admits it.
• El Chavo del ocho: In "Los dibujos de los niños", after finding out she was deceived by Quico with his "Good Kid" star, Doña Florinda says that, after that, she would never be able to smile again. Cue her immediately smiling once she turns around and sees her love interest, El Profesor Jirafales.
• On Cheers, Woody comes to Norm for relationship advice.
  Norm: Okay, Woods, what you want to do is be honest with Kelly. Honesty is the cornerstone of any relationship.
  Carla: (presenting the phone) Norm, it's Vera.
  Norm: I'm not here.
• Corner Gas: After the newspaper prints a story about Oscar's bench:
  Brent: Probably gonna be a population boom now thanks to your sex bench.
  Oscar: It's not a sex bench, it's a make-out bench. And it's not a make-out bench!
• In Doctor Who, the Doctor gives explanations for various things, only to immediately say that the explanation is wrong, since a lot of the time, he doesn't seem to have an answer or he thinks his companions need it dumbed down for them. The Eleventh Doctor is especially prone to discarded analogies.
  • The 11th Doctor tells Amy in "The Beast Below" that they are observers only, never interfering in the affairs of other peoples or planets. Amy starts to ask the Doctor if it's difficult, being detached like that, only to see him on the scanner, talking to a young girl who was crying.
  • Before the Doctor and Bill confront Lord Sutcliffe in "Thin Ice", the Doctor gives Bill a long lecture on how they are here to collect information and not reveal themselves, and no matter what disgusting thing the villain does or says she mustn't react emotionally. Lord Sutcliffe walks into the room and instantly starts to hurl racial abuse at Bill, at which point the Doctor immediately decks him.
  • When employed by UNIT, the Third Doctor protests that he has no use for money, then immediately starts demanding things that cost money like a laboratory, assistant, and car.
• The Election Chaser: During the 2010 Australian Federal Election, Peter Van Onselen of Sky News called the election for Labor at 8:01pm, before acknowledging three minutes later that this may have been premature - a good choice, since four hours later neither side had a majority and it was clear the result would be a hung Parliament. For this, Andrew and Chas of Yes We Canberra awarded him "Most Premature Election Call", only to immediately change their minds before he could accept it.
• Firefly:
  • Mal going back on a job for a client after finding out what exactly that job entails:
    Mal: Now this is all the money Niska gave us in advance. [...] We're not thieves. Well, we are thieves... point is, we're not taking what's his.
  • The comic book sequel Better Days echoes the exchange, with a contact asking Mal his price for delivering a stolen drone. Mal answers the price is what they bargained for before, as this isn't robbery — or at least, he's not robbing the contact.
• Friends: In "The One with All the Haste", when Chandler and Joey discover that the apartments have been switched back:
  Phoebe: I had nothing to do with it.
  (She closes the door on them; after a Beat, she opens the door again)
  Phoebe: Okay, it was my idea. But I don't feel good about it.
• In Hawkeye, Yelena is trying to put Kate Bishop at ease:
  Yelena: I'm not going to hurt you, I promise. I don't have any weapons on me. [pause, thinks] OK, I take that back, I don't have any weapons currently in my hands... [looks down at her rings] That's a lie also.
• How I Met Your Mother:
  • In episode "Zoo or False" Marshall simultaneously claims that he was and was not "mugged" by a monkey in the Central Park zoo. He was mugged by a person but he says it was a monkey in order for Lily to not want to get a gun, then feels guilty when he learns that the monkey he has accused is going to be deported.
    Lily: You weren't mugged by a monkey?
    Marshall: Yes, I was!
    Robin: So you were mugged by a monkey.
    Marshall: No, I wasn't!
  • In one episode, Barney says that it's impossible for a man wearing overalls to seduce a woman. He then vows to do exactly that. In this case, it's because his own statement leads him to realize it would be a great challenge.
• In the Inside George Webley episode, "A Lean and Hungry Look", the landlord of George's local pub bemoans that no one comes to the pub even though he tries to provide them with a friendly atmosphere, right before he snaps at George for not using a coaster.
• It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: In the episode "The Gang Gets Analyzed", Frank Reynolds begins his session with a therapist by insisting that "[his] skull is Fort Knox", but all it takes is a simple question about why he doesn't trust therapists and he goes off on a long, protracted rant about his traumatic experiences at a "nitwit school", completely breaking down on the couch.
• A defendant on Judge Judy lets Judge Judy know that there wasn't an earpiece in the wallet he didn't steal.
• The "Prepared for Terries" sketch on Key & Peele has two absurd self-proclaimed terrorist fighters do this with no subtlety whatsoever to a reluctant potential "comrade":
  "I got an idea, feel free to say no, but can we switch seats? I will not take no for an answer..."
• Look Around You's "Maths" episode presents the viewer with a so-called "math problem" where you have to determine how tall Imhotep is. The problem starts off by saying that Jean is taller than Imhotep, which is immediately followed by stating that Imhotep is taller than Jean. The answer is that Imhotep is invisible. It's that kind of show.
• The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power: In their second rematch, Sauron swears to Galadriel he has no desire to harm her in any way, only to impale her with Morgoth's cursed crown in the chest, mortally wounding her.
• On M*A*S*H in the episode, "Alcoholics Unanimous", Frank gives Hawkeye and Trapper a quiz about drinking to see if they're alcoholics. They say no to all the questions, but do exactly what the questions ask. For example:
  Frank: Question #2: Do you ever gulp drinks?
  (Hawkeye and Trapper both down the martinis they're drinking in one gulp)
  Hawkeye: No.
  Trapper: Never.
• Monty Python's Flying Circus:
  • From the Spanish Inquisition sketch:
    Cardinal Ximenez: NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear, fear and surprise; our two weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Our three weapons are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope! Our four— No... Amongst our weapons... Amongst our weaponry are such elements as fear, surprise— I'll come in again...
    • Later in the same skit the Spanish Inquisition have caught an old woman and read her charges:
      Cardinal Ximenez: Now, old woman — you are accused of heresy on three counts — heresy by thought, heresy by word, heresy by deed, and heresy by action — four counts.
  • One sketch had Eric Idle playing a host at a nightclub. As he's introducing the next performer, he slowly begins to sink lower into a groveling position until he's practically prostrate on the stage, calling the next performer an "infinitely superior being" and "a man whose boots I would gladly lick clean". When told by someone off-stage that the performer cancelled last minute, Idle immediately drops the act, rises to his feet and grumbles, "Never mind. It's actually not all it's cracked up to be."
  • In the "Nudge, Nudge" sketch, Eric Idle plays a guy whose every utterance is a Lampshaded Double Entendre. When Terry Jones, the guy he's talking to, confronts him by asking, "Are you insinuating something?" he responds, "Oh no, no, no, no, no.....YES!"
• My Romance Scammer: Pai confronts Tim over his poorly-hidden jealousy.
  Tim: Baby, I told you I'm not being jealous. I'm, like, so cool with it.
  Pai: I'll give you a kiss if you admit you're jealous.
  Tim: I should have punched his teeth in! I was holding back for you. He'd better not do it again. I was burning with jealousy!
• Odd Squad:
  • In "Agent Obfusco", Olive's smugness ends up backfiring on her when she confidently tells Otto that he passed his Odd Squad test once and he'll do it again, and then sees who the test administrator is — the titular agent.
    Olive: (screams) WE'RE GONNA FAIL!!
    Otto: You just said we'd be fine!!
  • In "Happy Halfiversary", Oona tells Otis that Olympia won't care about the fact that he didn't gift anything to her for their halfiversary. Seconds later and both she and Otis remark that it'll crush her spirits and break her heart, and work together to find a suitable gift.
• Odd Squad: Mobile Unit: In "Raising the Bar", Opal tells Otis that whatever ranking the Mobile Unit is placed in is fine. She then finds out that the department is in last place, panics, issues a Red Alert, and sends Orla and Oswald rushing to the bullpen.
• In The Office (US), Dwight says that the Schrutes don't need some Harvard doctor to tell them who's alive or dead as he explains how an "unlucky streak" of Schrutes who were just heavy sleepers getting Buried Alive led them to develop the family tradition of shooting the corpse.
• ¿Qué Pasa, U.S.A.?: In the "The Cuban Funeral" episode, Adela's visiting friend Caridad decides to rest before leaving and asks Adela for some coffee. While Adela is off in the kitchen complaining of how Caridad is a pain in the ass, Antonio comes in, finds Caridad has passed away, and tells the rest of the family. Adela immediately bursts out with "¡AY DIOS MIO! ¡Mi amiga del alma!^translationMy closest friend!
• Radio Enfer:
  • Mr. Giroux tells Camille that the janitor, Mr. St-Georges, is a professional who knows what he's doing. Soon after, Jean-Lou, who is in the room behind Giroux's office while working under St-Georges' orders, accidentally makes a hole in the wall with a drill, with the hole being not too far from the principal's head:
    Giroux: [traumatized] Phew! I almost ended up having a third eye!
  • In response to Dominique believing that Vincent is having a neurosis, Jocelyne says what follows:
    Jocelyne: Vincent is a very balanced lil' guy. I only have good things to say about him. Aside from the fact he's arrogant and a complete nerd.
  • After Vincent says that girls are obsessed with their bodies, Carl says the following while looking at a magazine:
    Carl: I don't understand why. It feels like they think that guys like us are only attracted by looks even though frankl... [notices the picture of a hot-looking girl] Eh, boy! Have you seen that hottie! [Vincent excitedly comes over to look at the picture.]
  • Giroux has to do a report on the radio crew. He tries to motivate himself by saying that he has to do it by himself and that he doesn't need any help. This is immediately followed by him spotting Dominique walking by his office and telling her that he needs her help.
• Red Dwarf: "Skipper" has these examples:
  • The Cat does this right after Rimmer tells him he should not be allowed to cook as he gets distracted by his reflection in the spatula:
    The Cat: Man, that is such a cliche. I can look at myself in the mirror without getting distracted.
    [He pulls out a mirror from his pocket and is immediately distracted, until Lister snaps him out of it moments later.]
  • Holly announces that his version of Red Dwarf never had a radiation leak. He then excuses himself to announce a radiation leak.
• Robyn Hood: Tuck claims "his body is a temple" immediately before showing that he has an implant that injects him with dopamine whenever his heartrate gets too high^note Worse, the previous episode established he drinks enough hard liquor that he stores some inside his computer desk.
• Saturday Night Live did a parody Biography entry of a singer played by Queen Latifah whose songs were all very blunt bawdy songs. At the end Jack Perkins (Darrell Hammond) reads off a list of her hits, which include "I Won't Do Oral" and, a few seconds later, "Okay, Fine, I'll Do Oral".
• Temps de chien: Antoine and Kim decide to let Stéphane keep an eye on their summer house while they will spend the upcoming year in Montreal. However, Stéphane decides to move around some of the furniture for his own personal tastes, leading to this exchange:
  Kim: Stéphane... Will it be possible to put everything back to their places afterwards?
  Stéphane: Of course! I have a photographic memory. The chair w...as somewhere there. The table... I will remember it. And the lamp...
  Kim: [exasperated] Look, forget about it.
• There's the "no, no, no, no, no, no, yes...." man in The Vicar of Dibley (Jim's Verbal Tic).
• Watchmen: The Greenwood Cultural Center computer Angela consults confirm that Will really is her paternal grandfather. It also says he died with his parents in the Tulsa Massacre while still a child, before he could have sired her father. Being a computer, this discrepancy isn't noted or troubling to it.
• On Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Ryan did this several times in the game "Narrate", in which the action pauses while the characters alternately deliver a Private Eye Monologue to the audience. It also made him an Unreliable Narrator.
  Ryan: (to the audience) I was scared. But I didn't want to look like I was scared. That's why I put up a tough front.
  Ryan: (in-scene, sobbing) Please don't kill me! What purpose would it serve to kill me, after all these years?!

In General:

• "Accidents Never Happen" is a Protest Song parodying the nuclear industry's reaction to Chernobyl which consists entirely of this, with every line of reassurance followed by "and even if it does" and another line of reassurance, which itself is undercut by the next line. The final punchline is that even if all these things do happen "the death rate's very small. Only one per person, and that's hardly death at all!"
• Popular folk song "Oh Susannah" can't make up its mind about the weather or even the time of day:
  It rained all night
  The day I left
  The weather it was dry.
  The sun so hot
  I froze to death
  Susannah don't you cry.

By Artist:

• Blondie's song "I Know But I Don't Know" from Parallel Lines is made up of a number of these, starting with the title.
• "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" by Demi Lovato says, "Just hold me, don't touch me" and "Don't listen to a single word I've said / Just hear me out before you run away." Played for Drama, reflecting the narrator's conflicting feelings, fears, and insecurities caused by her Dark and Troubled Past.
• In Star Trekkin by The Firm, Captain Kirk's line is "We Come in Peace — Shoot to Kill."
• Good Kid: "Tell Me You Know" is a parody of a Break-Up Song, where it's made clear that the guy is not over his ex. Because he's afraid of running into her, he moves to Los Angeles and begins writing a screenplay. He says that it's not about his ex, but someone who has the same looks and name.
  I'm moving to LA
  I'm writing a screenplay
  But it's not about you or what we were
  It's about a new girl, you've never met her
  She's just got your name
  And she looks exactly the same
• Kyo ft Sita's "Le Chemin" (The Path) has the singers claiming "I hate you with all my body but I still love you".
• Meg Myers' "Parade" says, "Cause I really love you, baby / But I'll never love you, baby."
• While '90s Alternative Rock was famous for this, the Trope Codifier within the genre was "Come as You Are" by Nirvana.
  Take your time, hurry up.
  The choice is yours, don't be late.
  • Other examples from '90s Alternative include Bush's "Glycerine" ("I'm never alone/I'm alone all the time") and Harvey Danger's "Flagpole Sitta" ("I'm not sick but I'm not well").
  • The Trope Maker for the genre is possibly "Losing my Religion" by R.E.M.
  ''Oh no, I said too much.
  I haven't said enough.
• The hook to Rae Sremmurd's "No Type" starts with the line "I ain't got no type; bad bitches is the only thing that I like".
• In "betty" by Taylor Swift, James does this twice.
  • "Betty, I won't make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom / But I think it's 'cause of me."
  • On the subject of his infidelity:
    You heard the rumors from Inez
    You can't believe a word she says
    Most times, but this time, it was true
• Will Stetson's "KING":
  Once again I have a new request to ask of you!
  It's the same as ever:
  Watch your back, no warning, warning
• Played for Drama on the Eminem song "Kim," where, despite his protests, it becomes clear he still loves Kim.
  I hate you! I hate you!
  I swear to God I hate you!
  Oh my God, I love you!
• Saint Motel:
  • "Born Again" is about a guy trying to convince people that he's stopped being such a jerk and cleaned up his act after a Turn to Religion. "When you see me next, you won't recognize the motherfucker that I am!"
  • In "My Type", the singer says he has very specific tastes in women: "you got a pulse and you are breathing."

• In The Bible, King Saul calls his son Jonathan a son of a whore right before accusing him of bringing shame to his mother.
• In a Sunni Muslim hadith^note Basically a story about the Prophet Muhammed that was recorded by those who lived alongside him (fourth one down on that page), a Jew named Al-Husayn bin Salam converts to Islam (and gets a Meaningful Rename to Abdullah bin Salam, Abdullah meaning "God's servant"). When some other Jews show up, the Prophet asks them their opinion on bin Salam. They reply "He is the most learned person amongst us, and the best amongst us, and the son of the best amongst us." Then bin Salam walks out and declares he has become a Muslim. The Jews tell the Prophet "He is the evilest among us, and the son of the evilest amongst us." Even funnier, bin Salam predicted their reactions beforehand.

• Welcome to Night Vale sets the tone of the town with one of the first pieces of news on the show:
  Cecil: The City Council announces the opening of a new dog park at the corner of Earl and Sommerset, near the Ralph's. They would like to remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the dog park.
• Mom Can't Cook!: To make fun of Sage Borealis's apparently random cause in Zenon: Z3, Andy claims to have taken it up with the same non-arguments:
  Andy: Me and my friends think it's wrong to go to the Moon.
  Luke: [...] I don't have any further questions. Although — wait, hang on, sorry — you think it's wrong to go to the Moon?

• Bleak Expectations: Flora Diesearly, Pip Bin's incredibly short-lived first wife, becomes this after they marry, going on about how she loves clouds, or getting scores of kittens, to which Pip agrees, only for her to immediately act like Pip's the one who suggested these things in the first place and state that she hates them.
• In Series 22, Episode 6 of Dead Ringers, the outgoing Prime Minister Boris Johnson holds a press conference in which he dismisses claims that he has "gone full Trump" due to his suggestions that the Deep State was trying to reverse Brexit and his apparent reluctance to hand over power peacefully as "fake news". To make it even more hilarious, his accent, use of vocabulary, and mannerisms waver between his own and Trump's as he talks.
• The Goon Show, in keeping with its generally surreal atmosphere, uses this trope a lot, such as when Bloodnock offers to give Neddie a lamppost 'free, entirely free, for 99 pounds'. Similarly, in "The Spon Plague", a taxi driver stated that the fare was 'four and six, pronounced *silly high-pitched voice* ten bob!'.
• The Now Show
  • In one of his rants, Marcus Brigstocke criticizes climate change deniers, in particular complaining that you can't say the Earth isn't getting warmer and the warming is perfectly natural.
  • John Finnemore's monologue about the Royal Mail privatisation (which uses a "Scorpion and Frog" analogy with the investors as scorpions and Vince Cable as the frog) gets two in a row when he mentions that the investment firms that bought shares, with an assurance that they wouldn't cash them in, included Lazard Asset Management. He then says that it's weird that the price immediately jumped, enabling these priority investors to unload their shares for a huge profit, because it was evaluated by independent firms like Lazard.
    Finnemore: Now, you mustn't get confused here, because of the name Lazard. I should stress that Lazard — the guys who advised the government to sell the Royal Mail at £3.30 a share — and Lazard Asset Management — the guys who were allowed to make a large, early investment at this price — they are totally different companies. Well, they're not totally different, but they're not part of the same company. Well, okay, they are part of the same company, but they're totally seperate wings of that company. The company has two very seperate wings. Imagine the company's like a bird ... okay, like a bat. It's got two wings! It's got the wing that advised the government what price to sell at, and then it has the other, really very seperate wing that made a lot of money from that decision. And indeed, the frog wasn't worried. Even as the share price continued to soar, he patted his travelling companions confidently on the carapace, because he had their assurance that they were in it for the long haul. And so they were. Until later that ... week, when Lazard Asset Management sold their entire stake and made eight million pounds.

• Avenue Q: Immediately Lampshaded in the song "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist", when Brian (who is engaged to a Japanese woman) protests he isn't at all racist.
  Kate: Everyone's a little bit racist!
  Brian: I'm not!
  Princeton: Oh, no?
  Brian: How many oriental wives have you got?
  (Beat, the cast all roll their eyes)
  Princeton: Brian, buddy, where you been? The term is "Asian-American"!
  (Brian facepalms)
• In Cross Road, when Niccolò Paganini agrees to teach Asha, a fan who's been following him asking to be his student, he tells her not to do things like waiting for him outside in the snow for hours like she did that night, because a violinist needs to take care of their hands. Five minutes later, Niccolò starts teasing the angry mob that comes after him because of his Deal with the Devil, risking getting into a fight, but his devil Amduscias stops him, citing Niccolò's own advice with a laugh.

• The Flash game series Arise has, in the very first game, this wonderful claim left in a book for the player to read: "This is not a joke, and it's not a test. I put you in this shack to test you." Retsupurae called the authors out on this:
  slowbeef: Like right there! I mean, come on!
  Diabetus: Oh man, my backspace key doesn't work, but I gotta keep writing my narrative!
• Baldur's Gate III: Keep on questioning Lich Queen Vlaakith's claim of being a Goddess and she'll decide to show you her divinity first-hand by instantly killing your party...which only proves that she is not, in fact, a Goddess in two ways:
  • The Gods of Fae'run are, by their very nature, forbidden for interfering with mortals outside of their realms of influence. By that logic, Vlaakith wouldn't be able to lash out at and kill the party out of spite no matter how badly wound up she got. The fact that she can is an indicator that she's just a Lich. An extremely adept Lich, but a Lich nonetheless.
  • Though the Wish spell she uses is the strongest spell available to mortals in the setting (as in, it's a ninth level spell that, even if successful, has a 33% chance of locking you out of ever casting it again), it's still an Arcane spell, whereas the Gods and those who channel their power use Divine spellcasting instead. Her using Wish and not Miracle (by which a Cleric calls upon their chosen patron for Divine Intervention) proves she doesn't even have anyone else's divine power on hand, let alone some of her own.
• The Curse of Monkey Island has this exchange between Guybrush and Van Helgen after the former asks the latter to tell him a cool pirate story:
  Van Helgen: No, I couldn't...
  Guybrush: Come on, I'd really like to hear some of-
  Van Helgen: The year was 1675. We were on a course towards the wreck of The Rattling Phlegm...
• Diablo III: The Cow King, when letting you into Whimyshire.
  "This is no time to be silly. The level of sparkling happiness and rainbows awaits you!""
• Lampshaded In "Dragon Ball FighterZ" during one of Gohan's dialogues with the player, he tries to assure the player that his mind isn't preocuppied with thinking of Pan and Videl all the time, only to start saying how he thinks about them all the time straight afterwards. He realizes the self contradiction after admitting he does to the player following this
  Gohan Contrary to popular belief, I'm not thinking about Videl and Pan 24/7. Okay?! Don't get me wrong... I'm super happy with my family. Heck, I think about them all the time! Wait, uh... Crap. Just contradicted myself.
• EarthBound (1994):
  • The Onett librarian offering you a map.
    Librarian: All of the information is there, except for the information that isn't there!
  • When you talk to a Mach Pizza pizzeria employee:
    Employee: *Munch*Munch*Gulp* Uh... no, I didn't take a piece of pizza. I would never think of doing that! It was delicious, though.
• In Fallout: New Vegas Old World Blues, you get this exchange of dialogue:
  Dr. 0: You know what, forget it, Klein. I hate you. [beat] And your theory of brainial beam oscillation? The Chinese had it first, you copycat!
  Dr. Klein: HOW DARE YOU! BRAINIAL BEAM OSCILLATION WAS SOLELY MY DISCOVERY! I EXPRESSLY TOLD YOU THAT AND DELETED ALL EVIDENCE TO THE CONTRARY!
• The introduction video of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria Simulator cheerfully informs the viewer, "Now it's time to put all your eggs into one basket, and take a huge gamble on your future. A gamble that comes with a one-hundred percent chance of success in some cases."
• In the final story mission of Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, Sonny reveals that he is aware that Tommy has tried to stiff him by paying him with counterfeit money courtesy of Lance. Lance gives Tommy the stock spiel that it's Nothing Personal, just business, only to immediately state that he specifically did it to slight Tommy in an especially spiteful tone, indicating that his betrayal was indeed personal.
  Lance: Sorry Tommy, this is Vice City. This is business.
  Tommy: You sold us out.
  Lance: No, I sold you out, Tommy. I sold you out!
• How many people interpret Pokémon Black and White's N, who gives a speech about how battling with and training Pokemon is abusive before challenging you to a Pokemon battle. However, it later becomes clear that N doesn't actually train Pokemon himself. He catches whatever wild Pokemon are in the area and releases them afterwards. This is why N has a radically different team whenever you fight him.
• Portal 2:
  GLaDOS: Okay, look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster.
• Steve Burnside in Resident Evil – Code: Veronica makes a big one after clearing a path for Claire. First he says that guns are more reliable than people and how people can't be trusted, then immediately says that Claire can trust him. This makes him a huge Hypocrite, though Claire never calls him out on it.
• Return of the Obra Dinn: the ship's doctor at one point comforts a dying sailor that he's fine and has probably been in worse spots before, then two seconds later turns and asks where the rest of his leg is.
• Shadowrun Returns and the other standalone games in the series naturally give brief description of the game's races on the character creation page. Regarding Trolls, they mention that they're generally seen as stupid and brutish, but point out for the most part that it's just Fantastic Racism and they're as smart as anyone else. Right below that is the character build, which shows a maximum Intelligence stat for Trolls that's lower than that of Humans, or Elves, say.
• In Shantae and the Pirate's Curse, after the events on Tan Line Island, Sky makes Shantae promise that they will never speak of the "desert princess" outfits that they and the other girls were forced to wear during their time there. While Shantae agrees, she immediately breaks the promise by asking about and WEARING said outfit, leading to a reaction of Visible Silence from Sky.
• Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri:
  OUR RESEARCHERS HAVE MADE A BREAKTHROUGH!
  Retroviral Engineering
  BASE FACILITIES: Genejack Factory
  TECHNOLOGIES: Biomachinery, Centauri Genetics
  "The Academician's private residences shall remain off-limits to the Genetic Inspectors. We possess no retroviral capability, we are not researching retroviral engineering, and we shall not allow this Council to violate faction privileges in the name of this ridiculous witch hunt!"

  – Fedor Petrov, Vice Provost for University Affairs
• In the Star Trek Online mission "The Doomsday Weapon", a Klingon captain laments on her personal log about her her first officer K'Valk's failed mutiny and wants to know why he would do such a thing... then immediately declares that she doesn't need to hear the excuses of a traitor.
• Vegetoid in Undertale is a sentient carrot. Attempting to talk to him will cause him to say "Plants Can't Talk, Dummy".

• Clover from Virtue's Last Reward says there's no way on Earth she would seduce Sigma into betraying Tenmyouji so she could escape the facility with 9 BP. What's the first thing she does half a minute later, when she's alone with Sigma in the AB room? Seduce Sigma. Or trying at least, if you ignore her and choose "ally" anyway.

• 13 Cards: In the episode Clones Clean Up The House, Spade stated that he would rather live in squalor than take orders from Fedor, right before throwing Waru in the wastebin.
  Waru: HAHA! You obeyed Fedor.
• Helluva Boss
  • Has this as its opening line of the pilot, establishing the show as a Work Com where the employees don't get along:
  Blitzo: All right, now I know business has been... a bit slow lately, yes. It's no-one's fault! Okay? I'm not naming any names here... [fast] Moxxie.
  • In "Mastermind", Stolas falsely confesses in song and court and declares that he has no regrets, then shifts into a soliloquy where the first line is that he has regrets.
• The Most Popular Girls in School:
  • Episode 18:
    Doctor: As I was saying, the number one thing we need to concern ourselves with is managing stress. Do you often find yourself in a stressful environment?
    Mackenzie: I'm seventeen and attractive. What the fuck do I have to be stressed about? (cue various stressful flashbacks) ...Okay, maybe a little.
    Doctor: Exactly! You see, your stress levels are triggering your hair loss. If you want to keep your hair and hopefully see some of it grow back, you're going to need to maintain your composure at all times, keep your temper to a minimum, learn to relax!
    Mackenzie: Relax? I'm sorry doc, but I don't live in a goddamn mentos commercial! I am head cheerleader. Do you have any idea the incredible pressure that I'm — (a chunk of Mackenzie's hair falls out) — Oh my god!
• Red vs. Blue:
  • The Blood Gulch Chronicles:
    • O'Malley does this during Season 3.
      O'Malley: Prepare for an oblivion for which there is no preparation! [evil laughter]
    • In "It's a Biological Fact", Tucker tells the Reds to hire Tex to get her to help:
      Tucker: Hire her to help you get Lopez back. She'll do anything for money.
      Tex: That's not true.
      Tucker: It's not? I'll give you ten bucks to tear off Grif's arm.
      Tex: Which one's Grif?
  • Family Shatters: In "Hard Boiled", West refuses to give the squad money to eat out until East points out the upsides for him, upon which he immediately changes his tune.
    West: I'm not going to say it again.
    East: No dishes, and we leave you alone.
    West: Take the company card.

• The Backwards House: During the animated prologue, Foxtrot lightly scolds Mighty Mule for insulting Od-Dog's art and tries to compliment it herself, but immediately finds that she can't come up with anything nice to say about it and calls it awful.
• Cucumber Quest: Peridot refuses to give her name, but then immediately responds to Almond calling her by name.
  Queen Sapphire: Intruder! Who are you?!
  Peridot: Heh. I don't give my name to losers.
  Almond: (smiling and waving) Hi Peridot.
  Peridot: (taking off her hood and returning the smile) Oh hi Almond— (realizes) BAAAAAAH!!
  Almond: (smile unchanged) Loser.
• In the Dumbing of Age storyline "This Was Halloween", Mary's hilariously terrible Hell House includes a bizarre rant about cancel culture, then an assertation that God will never cancel anyone, then straight to the Great Flood. (Yes, the standard theology is that God doesn't do that kind of thing any more, but she doesn't explain that because she doesn't see the contradiction; "cancelling" is a bad thing that bad people do, and when Good People do it, it's not that.)
• In El Goonish Shive, after Agent Wolf accidentally gave out more information than he should have, he gives a Hurricane of Excuses, each one contradicting the previous one.
  Agent Wolf: And that's classified. I said nothing. And if I did, it was the summary of an anime Cranium makes me watch on our dates. Also we're not dating.
• In Girl Genius, when Gilgamesh Wulfenbach is going into Mechanicsburg while it's under a Time Stop:
  Frau Doktor: — and whatever you do, do not listen to the voices!
  Higgs: "Voices?"
  Gilgamesh: Oh. Those. Yeah. Ignore them.
  Frau Doktor: —and don't forget, we'll want a detailed account of everything they say!
• This little gem from Looking for Group:
  Archmage: Still carrying that gem, I see? Is it still the source of your power?
  Richard: No. Turns out the power was inside of me all along. On an unrelated note, don't touch the gem. It's the source of my power.
• Jupiter-Men: While demonstrating his growing mastery of his powers to Jackie, Quintin proclaims that he's pretty much mastered his abilities right before accidentally reeling a soda can into his head.
• Litterbox Comics: In "Can't Break It", Vincent proudly tells Joel that the former can't break his handmade mug for him, only to accidentally pull the handle apart.
• Loserz: In this strip, Jodie plans to make out with girls at a party to get the attention of a guy.
  Ben: Sheesh, women, they think they've got us all figured out, like we're some brainless fools who do nothing but listen to our dicks.
  Eric: So are we gonna go watch or what?
  Ben: Of course we are!
• In The Order of the Stick when Belkar is ranting about Durkon (he feels guilty that Durkon sacrificed himself to save him, and also resents Durkon for making him feel guilty, and also is in denial about the whole thing), Minrah says he obviously has complicated feelings about it. Belkar retorts that he doesn't, and if he stabs something in the face, they'll go away.
• In the Ozy and Millie storyline where Isolde needs to steal a truck full of thermometers because reasons, the news report on the incident flips between calling Greater Llewellynlland a "tiny hostile nation" and a "tiny peaceful nation" in mid-sentence. Granted, the shipment of thermometers was apparently already on its way to Llewellyn's house before it was stolen, so the story already made no sense.
• Questionable Content: When Faye and Bubbles are opening a repair shop, they get a request from Pintsize. They initially reject it, until he offers to pay.
  Pintsize: Can you make me a big metal dick?
  Bubbles: No.
  Faye: No.
  Pintsize: [pulling out a wad of cash] I can pay!
  Bubbles: Yes.
  Faye: Sure.
• Saxton Hale invokes this in one of the Team Fortress 2 webcomics when he has to work for his rival Charles Darling:
  Saxton: Darling, I'm only going to say this once. I will never work for you. Okay, now I won't ever say that again. Now tell me what I need to do...
• xkcd: In Future Timeline, the predictions for the year 2090 include "global warming hits 7 degrees centigrade" and "global warming hits 4 degrees centigrade". 2052 predicts "Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security spending exceed total US revenue", while 2053 predicts "US budget balanced" (for like the fourth time), which is technically not impossible, but would be very impressive.
• A non-talking tree talks in this strip from Zero Percent Discount.

• From a political meme◊:
  Authoritarian left: Never happened. Besides, they were Kulaks anyway.
  Authoritarian right: Never happened. Besides, they were Jews anyway.
  Libertarian left: Never happened. Besides, they were fascists anyway.
  Libertarian right: Never happened. Besides, 14 is the legal age of consent in some countries anyway.
• The "Me, Also Me" meme involves people saying and/doing one thing and then saying and/or doing something else that directly contradicts the prior statement and/or action.
• Low Tier God's infamous "You should kill yourself... now!" rant tells a persistent troll that said troll has no purpose in life, which is immediately followed up with LTG saying the troll's only purpose on life is to suck LTG's dick.

• Babylon Bee: "Biden Apologizes For Racist Gaffe: 'I Like All Races, Even The Bad Ones'"
• A famous Image Macro shows Giorgio A. Tsoukalos from Ancient Aliens saying, "I'm not saying it was aliens, but, it was aliens."
• Not Always Right:
  • A hotel customer tries to deny having smoked before inadvertently admitting it.
  • This doctor may have just set a record for how fast one can contradict themselves. "Listen to me you dirty little s***! That field agent is LYING! My gate's closed. NOBODY can get in. He was never chased by any dogs because I don't HAVE any! I'm not home, so he couldn't have found me. Besides, the dogs were TIED UP! I can see them right now from my WINDOW!"
  • A mother and teenage son enter a phone shop to question why their phone plan is charging for pornographic sites. The submitter explains that some sites require you to enter your phone number, which lets them charge the account. The son insists he couldn't be responsible because he doesn't know his phone number. Five seconds later, when discussing removing him from the plan, his mother casually asks him his number, and he recites it from memory.

• American High Digital:
  • Julia as the Guy's Girl says that other girls gossip too much, and then right after says that another girl is known for being a slut.
  • In "Sorority Recruitment", Julia says that they don't recruit based on appearance anymore... instead it depends on whether you're pretty.
• Dragon Ball Z Abridged: Cell while examining a circular tiled arena:

  Cell: How do all these squares make a circle?! I just... no, it doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me. It bothers me. It bothers me a lot! And that one's still green!

• Epic NPC Man: Due to some silly game design choice, the NPC guard in "Persuade" goes from proclaiming that there is nothing the adventurer can say to convince him that she is innocent of the crimes he just witnessed, to almost immediately saying that he must have been mistaken (just because the adventurer says "I didn't do it" with 100% charisma stats).
• Game Grumps: From the ending of Mario Maker episode 31:
  Danny: That reminds me of that time I did mushrooms, but don't do drugs kids so I never did mushrooms.
  • In the second episode of The Dog Island playthrough, Arin sees a dog wearing a Chinese hat and immediately assumes he's Chinese. A few moments later, the dog's name is revealed to be Yi Lu, which surprises Arin since he thought he wasn't being racist...and then he instantly starts voicing him with the most racist Asian accent he can do. Danny wastes no time calling him out on this.
  Danny: "'I wasn't even being racist! OH, HERROOO!!'"
• Jenny Nicholson does this in "25 Knights of Ren Theories":
  Jenny: We know that they exist, and that Kylo is the master of them. That's literally nothing to go on, so... it's not even worth trying to speculate who they are. (long pause) So today, I'm going to go over my top 25 Knights of Ren theories!
• JonTron: In his California Games review, Jon wonders how he's going to lose his "Winter weight" now that summer's arrived. Jaques suggests that he stops "creating and eating things like cheescake pizza".
  Jon: "That's the past! Cheesecake pizza is in the past! I bet you would love me to bring up your past faults too, uh?" *Proceeds to take a bite of a cheese cake piece over a pizza slice*
  Jaques: "You're a regular Lucille Ball"
• Kitboga is a scambaiter popular on Twitch and YouTube. In "Using AI Deep Fakes to Get Revenge on Scammers," the scammer asks Kitboga's character if he's ever shared his wi-fi password with anyone. He assures the scammer that he hasn't, that he went to a computer class and in it, he was told to never the share the wi-fi password with anyone.
  Kitboga: Do you need my wi-fi password? I could tell it to you if you need it. ... The password for the wifi, it's just "w-i-f-i" seven times.
• My Little Pony: Totally Legit Recap: Trixie immediately proves her true colors when things really go wrong.
  Trixie: [mumbling] God I fucking hate Twilight so much; I hope she gets impaled on a manticore d—
  Starlight: Dude, everyone's changelings.
  Trixie: Oh my god, dude! Where's Twilight? We have to tell Twilight!
• In one Outside Xbox video, Andy starts a segment by saying, "First of all, let's get one thing clear: The Callisto Protocol is NOT Dead Space. It might SOUND like Dead Space, LOOK like Dead Space, and BE Dead Space, but it's not Dead Space."
• In streamer RTGame's playthrough of Kirby and the Forgotten Land, he was surprised at how dark his chat was telling him the lore gets in Kirby games. As he was looking up the lore to see if he was being lied to, he was asked if he'd ever seen anything on how weird it is, which he denied... only for his YouTube search results to show that he had fully watched such a video. His response was that it was the Unraveled episode on the series, and so he'd assumed that all the stuff about Kirby being God was Brian David Gilbert applying his usual treatment to the subject matter rather than mostly Sincerity Mode.
• SMPLive: In "SMPLive: Fruitcoin", Cooper tells off Poke for fighting in the courtroom, before immediately trying to shoot at Carson with his bow.
  Cooper: Nononononono! We do not battle in the courtroom!
  Cooper: (a few moments later) You think if I Punch bow him, he'll fall in the lava?
• The Warp Zone: In "Mandalorian Couples Therapy", when Boba Fett accuses the Mandalorian of being part of a cult.
  Boba Fett: At least I'm not a member of a freaky helmet-obsessed cult.
  Din Djarin: What? I'm not in a cult! I'm just part of an isolated group of people who live by a stringent set of rules and morals that must be followed absolutely and unquestioningly and if you ever break the rules, you're ruthlessly cast out and shunned by the rest of the... okay, I might be in a cult.
• Todd in the Shadows: During his Worst Songs of 2023 video, he discusses the song "Rich Men North of Richmond" by Oliver Anthony, and brings up the controversy surrounding the infamous "fudge rounds" line. He then expresses his willingness to meet fans of the song halfway, discuss matters respectfully, and as such has to ask them, "Are you fucking stupid? Do you not know what words mean?"
• In "How Wheel of Time Fans "recommend" the Wheel of Time," the two The Wheel of Time fans frequently talk up the series, only to point out severe flaws, or talk about how bad it is before urging the non-fan to read it. The non-fan understandably gets rather confused as to whether the "fans" even like the series.
• In "Dumb google ai responses, but it's a song - PART 7", there are two such examples.
  • At 18 seconds in, when asked, "If I run off a cliff, can I stay in the air so long as I don't look down?", the AI says, "No, you can only stay in the air for about one second after a single leap," but then adds, "However, some say that if you run off a cliff, you can stay in the air as long as you keep running and don't look down."
  • At 41 seconds, in, after the prompt "13 and 14 equal 27," the AI says, "No, 13 and 14 added together don't equal 27," but adds "The sum is 13+14=27."

• American Dad!:
  • In "Black Mystery Month", Stan says to Steve: "I guess I'm gonna have to start treating you like an adult. Now, don't forget to brush your teeth, or goblins will kill your mother".
  • In "An Apocalypse to Remember", Stan says "I promise, I will find us something to eat within the hour. But I can't promise anything."
• Back to the Future: The Animated Series: In "Verne's New Friend", when Chris asks if Doc will mind that they took his car, Verne casually says his dad lets him drive all the time. When Marty, who was in the backseat hunting for a paper clip, puts a hand on his shoulder, Verne immediately freaks out and begins apologizing.
• In Ben 10: Alien Force episode "In Charm's Way", after Ben tells Kevin to stop being mad and chill out while they're on the beach, Kevin remarks to Ben that "no one's the boss of him". Unless it's his girlfriend, Gwen. Ben can't help but laugh at his contradiction.
  Ben: Okay, I'll tan and you lighten up.
  Kevin: No one's the boss of me, Tennyson. Remember that.
  Gwen: Please, lighten up, Kevin.
  Kevin: [immediately calms down and smiles] Okay, Gwen.
  [Ben laughs]
• Bob's Burgers: In "Putts-giving", Tina criticises Gene and Louise for being immature, leading Louise to rant:
  "I'm not immature! She's the immature dumb-dummy-boob-head!"
• Central Park:
  • In Season 1 "Hat Luncheon", Paige tells Owen when they get to the Hat Luncheon they're going to be serious people doing their serious job in a serious way, until Molly puts Paige's crazy hat on her which is a miniature train looping a mountain.
  • In Season 1 "Rival Busker", when looking at the shrimp appetizers for the wedding, Anya say they're terrible but continues to eat them. Dmitry explains she's a nervous eater who gets it from her mother, then he proceeds to eat all the shrimp and admits he's nervous about his daughter's wedding.
  • In Season 1 "Squirrel, Interrupted", Enrique tells Cole no matter who wins the scavenger hunt they will remain friends, and then immediately tells Cole if he wins and he'll hate him.
• At the end of the Color Classics cartoon Peeping Penguins, the penguins vow to their mother that they will never be curious again, but afterward they find something moving in the snow and look at it, wondering with what couldn't be anything other than curiosity what it could be, with their mother doing the same thing.
• In the Dan Vs. episode "Traffic'', after Chris returns home to Elise right after the latter heard the news about the explosion (the one in the parking lot to the cars caused by Dan, of course, we get this dialogue.
  Elise: How's Dan doing?
  Chris: We didn't blow anything up, if that's what you're asking. It was an accident, anyway. (covers his mouth after realizing what he said) Plus, it was Dan's fault.
• DuckTales: In the first episode of the 2017 reboot, Scrooge makes a Badass Boast while dressing for a diving expedition, including a heavy helmet.
  Scrooge: I'm Scrooge McDuck! I made my name being tougher than the toughies and smarter than the smarties! And I made my money square, on my own! No nephews, no family! No-one helped me then and I don't need help now, and—!
  (the weight of his diving helmet gives way, sending him rolling into some objects)
  Scrooge: Beakley, a little help?
• In the Ed, Edd n Eddy episode "Ed in a Halfshell", when the Eds are left in charge of Jimmy, Eddy mentors him in the art of scamming others. After seeing Jimmy making easy money by charging kids to use a trampoline, Eddy, of course, wants a portion of the profits and says that he wants both "nothing big" and a 60% cut in the same breath.
• In The Fairly OddParents! episode "Inspection Detection", Timmy gets into a Clear My Name situation. As soon as Chester and AJ assure Timmy that they have his back, they run off when the police catch up.
• Family Guy:
  • In "Hell Comes to Quahog", Peter says to a car salesman "Now I may be an idiot, but there is one thing I am not, sir, and that, sir, is an idiot".
  • "Something, Something, Something, Dark Side", a parody of The Empire Strikes Back, uses this to handily and humorously condense Yoda's Actually, I Am Him, and his initial reluctance to teach Luke:
    Carl!Yoda: Well, I'm not Yoda. Okay, I'm Yoda.
    Chris!Luke: You're Yoda? You're the one that Obi-Wan sent me here to find! Will you teach me the ways of the Force?
    Carl!Yoda: No, I will not teach you the ways of the Force. Okay, I'll teach you the ways of the Force.
• Futurama:
  • One of Professor Farnsworth's habits. For example, this exchange from "The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz":
    Farnsworth: I'm sending you on an extremely controversial mission.
    Fry: Controversial?
    Farnsworth: Oh my, no!
  • From "The Series Has Landed":
    Fry: We're gonna die! It's every man for himself! (jumps from the moon buggy and lands in quicksand) Help me Leela!
  • Multiple examples occurs in the following exchange from "Love's Labors Lost in Space":
    Farnsworth: It's a sunny little doomed planet, inhabited by a number of frisky little doomed animals.
    Leela: Animals?
    Farnsworth: That's right. Animals in desperate need of rescue. You see, Vergon 6 was once filled with a super-dense substance known as dark matter, each pound of which weighs over ten thousand pounds.
    Leela: Wait! What about the animals?
    Farnsworth: Well, dark matter is extremely valuable as starship fuel. That's why it was all mined out, leaving the planet completely hollow.
    Leela: Yes, but what about the animals?
    Farnsworth: The wha?
    Leela: The animals.
    Farnsworth: I didn't say anything about animals. Now it seems that the planet will collapse within three days. Incidentally, this will kill all the animals.
  • From "Where the Buggalo Roam":
    Zapp: I am the Man with no Name. Zapp Brannigan, at your service.
  • From "The Sting":
    Leela: What's the mission?
    Farnsworth: Collecting honey. Ordinary honey.
    Leela: That doesn't sound so dangerous.
    Farnsworth: This is no ordinary honey!
  • From "Proposition Infinity":
    Kif: [to Amy] I just don't understand why you have to flirt with every bad boy in sight.
    Amy: Quit exaggerating.
    [A criminal steals URL's lightsaber and puts it next to Amy's neck.]
    Criminal: Nobody move, or sweet cheeks here gets it!
    Amy: [giggling before looking at him seductively] Oh! You're bad!
  • From "The Duh-Vinci Code":
    Morbo: Are you ready to play?
    Fry: I didn't come here to play; I came to win. Now let's play.
  • From "Cold Warriors":
    Leela: If I understand ice fishing, and I'm pretty sure I don't, we'll need to laser-blast a hole in the ice. (pulls out a laser gun)
    Fry: No, no crazy technology. (hands Bender a manual ice drill) Here, Bender, use your immense robot strength to drill a hole the old-fashioned way.
    Bender: I don't see any irony in that!
  • From "Anthology of Interest II":
    Bender: I mean, being a robot's great, but... we don't have emotions, and sometimes, that makes me very sad.
• Hazbin Hotel:
  • In the pilot episode, Alastor, in cajoling/threatening a reluctant Husk into working at the hotel, conjures up a bottle.
    Husk: What, you think you can buy me with a wink and some cheap booze?! (Beat.) Well, you can!
  • In "It's A Deal", Charlie argues with Katie Killjoy over her homophobic remarks:
    Charlie: This has all been a whole setup, and once more, you are very homophobic, Ms. Killjoy, and I DO NOT LIKE YOU.
    Katie: I'm not homophobic, I just hate gay people!
• Looney Tunes: The king in the Bugs Bunny cartoon "Shishkabugs" invokes this in the same sentence. He brushes off chef Sam's repast, saying "Every day the same thing...variety!"
• In "Mouse and the Toy Factory" from If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, Mouse is invited to test toys at a toy factory by the owner and is allowed to bring his friends along as well. As they're headed there, he gushes about it, but Pig tells him not to get too excited and starts to say "It's probably just a—" but then cuts herself off as they arrive at the toy factory.
  Pig: (breathless) Oh my gosh this is the coolest thing I've ever seen!
• It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown has such a moment when Lucy has such a moment in discussing choosing a Halloween costume right before she dons her witch's hat and mask...
  Lucy: A person should always choose a costume which is in direct contrast to her own personality.
  Sally: Is Linus taking me to the party?
  Lucy: That stupid blockhead of a brother of mine is out in the pumpkin patch making his yearly fool of himself!
• Justice League: In "The Great Brain Robbery", Flash and Luthor are mind-swapped. Flash does an absolutely dreadful job of passing himself off as Luthor (fortunately, his colleagues attribute his odd behavior to him getting a bit brain-fried in the mind-probe attempt that led to the situation).
  Flash-as-Luthor: My fellow bad guys, I, Lex Luthor, your leader, will speak now about my, Lex Luthor's, plan. My villainous, villainous plan. Question the plan at your peril! (pause) Uh... any questions?
• Kaeloo: In one episode, in every dub except for the English dub, Stumpy says he's not Afraid of Needles, then faints at the sight of a needle. Averted in the English dub where he admits that he's scared instead of denying it before passing out.
• From My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic episode "May the Best Pet Win!" by Rainbow Dash:
  Rainbow Dash: This isn't a game, you know. (beat) All right, now these games will determine which of you has the most important qualities I'm looking for...
• In Ninjago, when Dareth realizes his championship trophies have been stolen, he runs to Ronin.
  Ronin: Wait, who would steal your trophies? They're fake.
  Dareth: I know! They're irreplaceable! Which is why I'm here. To replace them.
• OK K.O.! Let's Be Heroes: K.O. confirms he's "exactly six-to-eleven years old".
• The Simpsons:
  • This conversation from an educational film in "Lisa the Vegetarian":
    Jimmy: Mr. McClure? I have a crazy friend who says its wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy?
    Troy McClure: (laughs) No, Jimmy, just ignorant. You see, your crazy friend hasn't heard of the food chain.
  • This classic from "Simpson Tide":
    Grampa Simpson: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star!
  • In the "Treehouse of Horror VII" segment "Citizen Kang", when Kang and Kodos assume the forms of Bill Clinton and Bob Dole, the fake Clinton gives a Meaningless Meaningful Words speech that first says the country must move forward, then immediately after that he says it must move upwards, not forwards.
  • "Lisa's Sax" has Homer telling Lisa about the time he and Barney snuck some beer when they were young children and that he ended up "wrecking his little red wagon" by wrapping it around a tree. After a cutaway where he, Barney and several children are crashed up by a tree and Barney swears "Let's never drink again", the scene then fades back to present-day Homer declaring "And we never did!" right before he takes a sip of his open beer can.
  • From "Trash of the Titans", when Lisa suggests to Homer that he apologize to the Sanitation Department for his outburst that led to them cutting off their services:
    Homer: I never apologize, Lisa. I'm sorry, but that's just the way I am!
  • In "They Saved Lisa's Brain" when Lisa points out that she's only at a contest where Homer is humiliating himself because Marge made her come, Marge tells her that nobody's forcing her to stay, only to do exactly that when Lisa tries to leave.
  • In "Monty Can't Buy Me Love", when Homer tells Mr. Burns about Arthur Fortune's latest public gesture:
    Burns: And a stunt like that impresses people?
    Homer: Oh, yeah, and I'm not easily impressed. Wow! A blue car!
  • "The Great Money Caper": One of Homer and Bart's cons:
    Bart: I just gotta get him back! Or if not him, a similar dog.
    Homer: Dog for sale! Dog for sale!
    Hibbert: How much for the dog?
    Homer: Oh, he's not for sale.
  • In "A Star Is Burns", Barney wins the Springfield Film Festival for his biographical short film, Pukahontas, about his struggles with alcoholism.
    Barney: I've learned I have a gift to share with the world. From now on, there'll be a new Barnard Gumble: hardworking, clean, and sober.
    Mayor Quimby: Congratulations, Barney, and enjoy your grand prize: a lifetime supply of Duff Beer.
    (Barney gasps in shock)
    Barney: (rolling up his sleeve) Just hook it to my veins!
  • In "Treehouse of Horror VII", during the segment "The Genesis Tub", Lisa meets the tiny civilisation she created by accident and comments that they speak perfect English:
    High Priest: We have listened to you speak since the dawn of time, O Creator! And we have learned to imitoot you exarctly.
  • At the end of "Homerpalooza", Marge says she's glad she's not cool, then immediately adds "And that makes me cool, right? Not caring?"
  • Fat Tony's threat to Marge in "The Twisted World of Marge Simpson":
  Fat Tony: You have 24 hours to give us our money. And, to show you we're serious... you have 12 hours.
• Sonic the Hedgehog:
  • Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog:
    • Played straight and inverted in "Tails Prevails", when Dr. Robotnik learns of Tails's knack for mechanical engineering:
      Robotnik: So, Sonic's little friend has a talent for machinery, mmm? Perhaps he could be... useful.
      Scratch: But, but how are you gonna get Tails to help you?
      Grounder: Yeah! Tails may be a genius, but he's not stupid!
      Robotnik: I'll find a way! I'll make him cooperate of his own free will, even if I have to force him!
    • In "Zoobotnik", Robotnik teams up with Katella the Intergalactic Huntress to capture Sonic. Katella falls in love with Robotnik, but she absolutely refuses to keep her hands off him. Robotnik doesn't love her, but he's too scared to say anything, and is visibly relieved when his mother, Momma Robotnik shows up and interrupts their Shotgun Wedding, whereby Katella calls off the whole thing because she refuses to have Momma as an in-law. Momma gets mad at Robotnik when he tells her the truth about Katella forcing him to marry her, saying she raised him to be a liar. When she spanks him with her umbrella for telling the truth, he promises her that he'll never tell the truth again, then says "I hate that hedgehog!"
  • In the Sonic Boom episode "Battle of the Boy Bands", Amy is going crazy over a new pop star named Justin Beaver. While trying to convince her friends to listen to a song, she says "I don't want to overhype it... but he's the greatest entertainer who ever lived!"
• SpongeBob SquarePants:
  • In "Valentine's Day" as SpongeBob and the carnival patrons try to get Patrick to turn around to see the chocolate balloon after Sandy finally arrives with it, Patrick refuses, not believing his real valentine is behind him after what SpongeBob did earlier, and tells them he is not going to turn around for any reason, ever. SpongeBob is close to tears, thinking Patrick won't get his gift and the plan was All for Nothing... then Sandy calls Patrick, causing him to finally turn around and see the balloon and his real valentine.
  • "Hooky": After making a sailor's promise to Mr. Krabs to never play on the fishing hooks again, SpongeBob encounters a hook dangling in the middle of the street, and seems tempted to play on it, but then he pulls back, punishing the hook as he runs away and vows to never play on it as he runs away...then quickly zips back and plays on it anyway. This leads to him getting hooked. Subverted later as this turns out to be a Batman Gambit set up by Mr. Krabs to scare SpongeBob in addition to getting him publicly humiliated.
  • In "Wet Painters", SpongeBob and Patrick's attempts to wash supposedly permanent paint off Mr. Krabs's first dollar quickly devolve into mindless violence. Patrick tries to re-rail themselves by remarking that "[they're] not cavemen" seconds before profoundly demonstrating the advantages of having technology by repeatedly bashing the painted dollar with a computer.
  • In "The Two Faces of Squidward", Mr. Krabs tells his customers that he'll give them a "free" soft drink for $3 (though in real life, many restaurants say a "free" food or drink is attached so long as you make a minimum purchase).
• Star Trek: Lower Decks:
  • "Envoys": Ensign Mariner claims that she's serious about the mission, and then is immediately distracted by the shuttlecraft's blast shield function, which she plays with like it's a toy.
    Boimler: I wish you would take this seriously.
    Mariner: I am. Ooh! This is the new shuttle with the blast shield! Yeah! [singing] It's a blast shield, it's a blast shield. It comes down and it goes up. Blast shield!
  • "Moist Vessel":
    • Ensign Rutherford firmly states that he doesn't need to eat more, but then he suddenly wants to eat Ensign Tendi's pudding.
      Tendi: And you can finish my lunch.
      Rutherford: It's okay. I don't need another lunch. Oh! Pudding!
    • Later, Tendi still very much cares about what others think of her, despite her claims to the contrary.
      Tendi: It made me realize that life's too short to be hung up on whether everyone on the ship likes me.
      Rutherford: That's great, 'cause I'm sure there's at least a few who don't.
      Tendi: (chuckles) And who cares? Not me. (angrily) So who are these few people? What did they say? Do they not like me? You know what, I don't care. (grabs Rutherford by the collar) But if someone said something, I feel like I should know. WHO WAS IT?!
  • "Kayshon, His Eyes Open": Freeman decides to prove that she doesn't micromanage by refusing to check up on the away team, assuming that they can handle things. When the escape pods are launched and Rutherford and Tendi reveal what happened to Kayshon, she takes this as proof that she should have been micromanaging to prevent this kind of thing from happening.
• Tangled: The Series: After learning that Rapunzel has her golden hair back but won't explain how that happened, Eugene urges her not to keep secrets from those she loves. Moments later:
  Queen Arianna: (Calling from outside Rapunzel's room) Rapunzel, honey?
  Eugene: (without missing a beat) Hide. Your. Hair. Woman! You gotta hide yo' hair!
• In Transformers: Animated, Ramjet (one of Starscream's Literal Split Personalities clones) tells nothing but lies, even if the lie contradicts the previous lie.
  Ramjet: What are you talking about? I am the original Starscream!
  Starscream: Liar! I am the original Starscream!
  Ramjet: I never said I was the original Starscream.
  Starscream: You just did right now.
  Ramjet: No, I didn't.
  Starscream: Yes, you did.
  Ramjet: No, I didn't!
  Starscream: Yes, you did!
  Ramjet: No. I. Didn't.
• Xiaolin Showdown has this exchange between Jack Spicer and Wuya.
  Jack: (commenting on Clay's relationship with his father) How come we don't have a relationship like that?
  Wuya: I'm not your mommy! Now pick up your toys, Jackie, and let's go home!

• Vice President Dan Quayle:
  • An infamous gaffe was, when following up on a statement that "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history," said (paraphrased by reporter), "No, not our nation's, but in World War II. I mean, we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century, but in this century's history."
  • He also said "I believe we are on an irreversible trend towards more freedom and democracy, but that could change."
• German Soccer player Stefan Reuter once made a remark in a post-match interview:
  Stefan Reuter: I'm not going to say a word on the referee's performance. But the decisions made there were an embarassment.^{In the original German}Zur Schiedsrichterleistung will ich gar nichts sagen. Aber das, was da gepfiffen wurde, war eine Frechheit.
• A news article after the 2024 election talking about Latino voters in New York City who supported Donald Trump cited a Puerto Rican barbershop owner who lamented what he called a lack of support for "traditional principles" among Democrats, before quoting this complaint of his: "The fucking music. We don’t do cursing.”