"Come to my palace now and claim me, make my body yours, (bleeped) my bird (bleeped), get inside me, go down (bleeped), find my (bleeped), then I want you to GNAW on me, tie me up, (bleeped) ME ROUND LIKE A LITTLE (bleeped), SPIN ME LIKE DADDY'S LITTLE (bleeped), *deep breath* THEN I WANT YOU TO (bleeped) MY FOUNTAIN OF (bleeped) AND DRINK IT LIKE A THIRSTY DOG!!!"
— Stolas, Helluva Boss, "Mission: Zero"
A character who is unusually aggressive and domineering in their relationships and/or romantic/sexual advances yet relinquishes all control the moment it comes to actually having sex with their loved one. This "aggression" falls under two broad categories, which can overlap or sharply diverge:
- Abrasive Submissive: Strong-willed, boisterous, or flat-out mean most of the time, but meek and passive when it comes to intimacy.
- Forward Submissive: The character very openly seeks out sex, but wants others to take charge of them — possibly being secretive about the latter part until the last moment. This is also known as "topping from the bottom".
This behavior is commonly displayed by "harsh" Tsunderes. Parallels can be drawn between this and a Faux Action Girl. Indeed, women in fiction end up on the receiving end of this trope much more often than men (cf. Men Act, Women Are). The men who have this trait are often portrayed comically, especially if they don't bother looking for a lover who's into it, or consider it an Unmanly Secret. Although in Courtly Love the (lower status) man will invoke this trope as a way of proving his loyalty to the woman.
An extreme variation, dipping deep into Character Derailment, is often found in fan works (especially H-Doujinshi) starring a canonically dominant and assertive female character, who remains dominant and assertive right up to the point where the faceless male reader stand-in takes off her clothes.
Note that Tropes Are Tools — this one can present an interesting dichotomy in a character to explore for drama and Character Development. It only becomes off-putting when perpetrated in fanworks upon characters who you'd reasonably expect to behave in bed the same way they do in canon.
For the male/male case, this is a standard (although somewhat less common) type of Uke in Boys' Love Genre works. They're similarly likely to be Tsundere. Because this is a same-sex variation, the Double Standard does not apply, so this trope is generally used in-character. More uncommonly, but still very much present, you will find inversions of this trope, with an aggressive (or even violent) Seme who becomes compliant, gentle and subservient to the Uke's wishes while in-bed — playing with the balance of physical and emotional control in the relationship. The exceptions for in-character usage of this trope are again fanworks where canon characters are used for Wish Fulfillment.
Compare Casual Kink, Powerful People Are Subs, Authoritative in Public, Docile in Private, Property of Love, Being Personal Isn't Professional, Safe, Sane, and Consensual, and Safe Word. Contrast Naughty by Night.
Canon examples
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Anime and Manga
- Ayakashi Triangle: Matsuri is an Abrasive Submissive that gradually becomes aware, though not open, about his sexual desires. He's rather overprotective of Suzu and quick to fight. But as he grows more emotionally open to and romantically-aware of Suzu, it's shown she decidedly takes the lead, and Matsuri isn't opposed—to the point Suzu abruptly French-kisses Matsuri and he only objects that it was too good.
- Baron Lothario Von Casanova in Call Girl in Another World started out as an abused butler to a spoiled heiress before he caught his big break writing for a review column with brothels. While he certainly enjoys the sex, he has high standards and while willing to give good reviews for proper service, he could never feel satisfied by any of it. Yuzuki correctly pegs him as this (as are most successful business types), puts on a skimpy Dominatrix outfit, and makes him her "pet" for their session.
- Can a Boy-Girl Friendship Survive?:
- Himari likes acting like The Tease and enjoys flirting with Yuu to make him squirm, but she becomes shy and nervous in the rare instances when he flirts back.
- Rion is usually a cool and aloof girl who can be very pushy with people, but gets very shy and insecure about romantic matters.
- Denji, the protagonist of Chainsaw Man, is an Abrasive Submissive. Though loud, selfish, and violent to men, he's much shyer and kinder to women, and absolutely loves when they tease and hit on him. As strong as his sex drive is, he lacks the confidence in his social skills to make the first move.
- Main character Ange from Cross Ange is a prickly, violent, Jerk with a Heart of Gold, and is usually the dominant-acting part of the duo that consists of herself and her humble and soft-spoken Love Interest, Tusk. When she and him finally have sex for the first time in Episode 22, she lets him take the lead after she herself initiated the encounter.
- In Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba, at his earliest characterization Inosuke Hashibira is at his wildest, most boisterous and completely stubborn, blinded by his untested claims of being the strongest king of the mountain; come the first reality checks, however, once facing defeat and growing to accept the need for support and guidance from others Inosuke grows to find himself very disarmed by maternal figures who attempt to scold and educate him on his behavior. Shinobu who first cunningly tries to induce Inosuke to do what she wants by playing on his ego, but a few extra Taisho Secrets and flashbacks later it is shown that Shinobu got Inosuke by her finger by acting maternally; Aoi later is the commanding mother type who is more brash on trying to make Inosuke behave, in the Infinity Castle arc it is humorously revealed in a Taisho Secret that Aoi even spanked Inosuke's butt when he misbehaved, as Kanao does the same to him at the Castle when recalling Aoi's advice. In the end, it is revealed that it’s all related to Inosuke's deep love for his fallen mother Kotoha, whom he subconsciously misses a lot despite having no clear memories of her as he was just a baby when she died, until the memories resurfaced in the Doma fight; that way Inosuke responds with submission to any girl that gives him sweet mother vibes and affection. While how Aoi and Inosuke eventually became a couple isn't fully explored, their final interaction seen in the series is Aoi scolding Inosuke for trying to sneak on the kitchen and eat before everyone else, they exchange a cute longing look while at it, once again hinting at Inosuke's response to maternal affection.
- Cream Lemon: In Pop Chaser, Badass Biker Tomboy Rio becomes the Uke to the smaller, sweeter Girly Girl Mai's Seme.
- Mio from MM! is a very dominant girl for the entire series, but in the first two DVD Extras of the anime they have her getting dominated by a cat and another girl respectively. The extras were supposed to be Fanservice, but they felt like Fetish Retardant to those that were hoping for more Mio femdom. Eventually one extra focusing on her sadist side showed up, but only one.
- Kyouko Oomiya in Futari Ecchi, in her relationship with Matsuzaki, at least in the early phases. On one hand, he was The Casanova and she a 30-year-old virgin when they started dating but, on the other hand, she is imposingly bossy and he is actually insecure about himself.
- Mafuyu from hentai OVAs Kanojo x Kanojo x Kanojo is a quite interesting example. The first episode has her being a really domineering Emotionless Girl. The second episode has her dominant too, BUT the guy ends turning the tables on her seemingly for no reason (as he never does that to other girls, and he seemed fine with her dominance on episode 1). That's where the series originally ended, but then they announced a third episode, and on it, Mafuyu was hit by massive Chickification and became just as cheerfully emotional and non-dominant as the other girls; this broke the base, with more masochistic viewers feeling this unfortunate as her dominance and quietness made her popular among them, and more sadistic viewers actually liking the final result, since no lack of emotions and no female dominance goes unpunished.
- Hana in Seikon no Qwaser is a lesbian version. At first, we see she's a quite rough girl with others, but soon she gets dominated by Katja and clearly loves it. Then come the second season, and she subverts this by showing she can be dominant with other girls, so she probably likes being both sub and dom depending of her partner.
- Nana & Kaoru: Nana is an angry tsundere until she gets all tied up.
- Yuno from Future Diary is very direct and aggressive towards Yukiteru, until she finally "becomes one" with him. Then she becomes super-shy and even bottoms! Notably, she goes back to being her usual aggressive self right after they're done.
- Inverted by Fuyuka in Haru Natsu Aki Fuyu, who is a Shrinking Violet in day-to-day life but unexpectedly dominates the heck out of Natsuki when they finally do it.
- Sailor Moon:
- Zoisite in the '90s anime is the one who initiates nearly all physical contact with his lover Kunzite, despite being completely subservient to him normally.
- The same anime's version of Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon) is occasionally shown as the more physically proactive of the pair of her and Mamoru. The R movie pretty much spells out that Mamoru's reluctant about intimacy because he's eighteen but Usagi is only fourteen. But whenever Usagi does get Mamoru to reciprocate, she immediately melts in his arms.
- Played for Laughs in Horimiya. Hori has a short temper and is rather bossy, but she has asked her Nice Guy boyfriend Miyamura to sometimes role-play being demanding and verbally abusive to her; this thrills her and makes her uncharacteristically meek and obedient whenever they try it. That said, there’s no obvious indication that she extends this role reversal to their actual sexual relations.
- Kaguya-sama: Love Is War:
- Kaguya can be a very controlling person, but she loves it whenever Shirogane shows assertiveness and lists his harsh gaze as one of his most attractive features. Even Kaguya (Ice) -who is basically Brutal Honesty personified- outright says that being kissed is way hotter than giving a kiss. Also, from what little we see of Their First Time, he's the one who takes charge while they're engaging in foreplay (though that could have something to do with the fact that she had a lot more reservations about it than he did).
- Miko Iino is a Tiny Tyrannical Girl who can be be very harsh when her buttons are pushed, but she also happens to have very prominent masochistic tendencies that leave her friends worried that she'll end up in an abusive relationship.
- Played for Laughs in The Way of the Househusband, with ex-Yakuza Tatsu who intimidates everyone he meets without even trying treating his wife like an oyabun and fully devoting himself to pleasing her, to the point of needing to be stopped from corporally punishing himself after making a mistake.
- Monthly Girls' Nozaki-kun has Seo, who is normally an abrasive Lad-ette who dominates the school's male basketball team, but gets easily flustered/embarrassed when Wakamatsu flirts with her.
- Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro: The titular protagonist utterly loves to tease her senpai with suggestions of lewd things, but always up to a line. The moment that line is crossed (usually accidentally on her part) she becomes extremely nervous.
- Played for Laughs in Fairy Tail: 100 Years Quest with a bewitched Jellal being very eager for Erza to dominate him in bed, which greatly flusters her because, contrary to her normal casual attitude about skinship with people she has no interest beyond platonic friendship in, she is in love with him.
Comic Books
- The Authority: Midnighter is an aggressive combat engine dressed head to toe in black leather whose usual opening move in combat is a Breaking Speech where he points out his enhancements mean he has fought this fight a thousand times already in his head and knows the perfect way to take out whoever stands in front of him. And, as Midnighter and Apollo makes clear, he's a bottom with his long-time partner Apollo.
- Black Widow: Sometimes hinted at with Natasha; she's one of the premier Action Girl ladies of the Marvel Universe, absolutely brutal in a fight, and not afraid to wield her sexuality like a weapon. But in her tender moments with her lovers, she's quick to take the submissive role. At one point when getting freed from bondage, she admitted she actually quite enjoyed being tied up.
- Batman: In The Dark Knight Strikes Again and All-Star Batman & Robin, the Boy Wonder, this describes the relationship between Superman and Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman is a Straw Feminist who shows nothing except contempt for men and the world that they dominate. At the same time, however, she maintains a Slap-Slap-Kiss relationship with Superman, whom she admires for being the only man on the planet who could throw her to the ground and MAKE her his.
- Deadpool: Deadpool has aspects of this. Very little of what he says is serious and much of what he says is outrageous, but with y'know, snuggling or rather anything vaguely intimate — particularly the rare honest conversation — his dialogue is less amusing and his body language becomes submissive.
- Smut Peddler: 2012 Edition: Natalie in "Wicked Switch" becomes this, most of their time together being her (in Stephanie's body) being tied up in a manner which Rick fucks her, all the while still calling the shots.
- Smut Peddler: 2014 Edition:
- In "Glasses & Jones", Abigail unwittingly plays the submissive role during their session, though she's obviously the more confrontational of the two.
- While the Butch Lesbian in "Last Word" is the one who propositions for sex, she's also the one who is on the receiving end of her girlfriend's strap-on, Whip of Dominance and blindfold.
- Smut Peddler Presents: Sex Machine: When the Player successfully seduces the Warlock King in "Vanilla Game", she is able to handcuff him to his throne and peg him with a strap-on. Considering she looked up how to seduce him online, it's likely that he was programmed with this in mind.
- Sunstone: In the series, which is all about BDSM, Lisa Williams is an assertive extrovert in most of her life, but is a sexual submissive in her relationship with introvert Allison Carter. It should be noted that this is not at all uncommon: one theory of BDSM is that the submissive actually has all the power, and the dominant does all the work to please the submissive.
Fan Works
- Esdeath (to no one's surprise) is this in Akame ga Kill:Reworks towards none other than the kid emperor himself.
- Discussed in The Black Sheep Dog Series. Walburga is the domineering "Queen" of the Black family, and Orion lets her get her way of her time. However, Sirius tells his father than she would actually prefer him to be more assertive.
Sirius: You let her get her own way too often. She doesn't like that. She wants you to tell her who is the boss.
- A Hero Rises:
- Izuku is very strong-minded and can be very fierce in a fight. In the bedroom, however, he is a switch and can completely give up control to, Himiko and later his other girlfriends as well.
- Monoma is an arrogant submissive. He has a condescending and abrasive attitude, but as revealed during the Trainning Camp, he is a massive bottom for Kendo. She promises to squeeze his balls very tight if he makes sure none of the guys tries to peep on the coed bath. Monoma immediately complies.
- Setsuna also turns out to be one during the Training Camp arc. While she is very teasing, laidback and a Lovable Sex Maniac, Tokage is very submissive to Ragdoll following their flirtatious exchange at the second day of trainning, something Izuku and his girlfriends are surprised to know when they accidentally spot the two about to make out.
- Endeavor out of all people. Shoto, always oblivious, says that he heard his parents fighting in their room and that Rei said that she would be on top.
- Ignited Spark:
- Despite being very controlling and tough, Kaina mentions that Miwa ended up domesticating her like a cat once they started dating. This is most obvious when she and Taiyo try to seduce Miwa into joining their relationship — Kaina starts off confident, but when Miwa takes over the seduction, she becomes surprisingly timid.
- Miwa Uraraka, for her turn, is an inverted example. At first glance, on her youth, typical nice and caring girl, who at first glance doesn't seem like much... which is why Taiyo and Kaina were caught off guard when she becomes a sex fiend upon confessing their feelings for her and how they have been attracted to her for a while and had sex several times before coming up to her, immeadiatly kickstarting their relationship with a threesome.
- Himiko hides it pretty well behind her flirtatious Loveable Sex Maniac act, but Itsuka eventually catches on this act, bluntly calling her a bottom to her face and pointing out for all her talk and attempts to rile Itsuka up, Himiko is the kind of girl that breaks down and melts soon as someone takes charge, as Tsu showed at the beach. Himiko can only pathetically whine about being figured out, swearing to one day to top Itsuka, which no one takes seriously.
- My Abominable Monster Classmates Can't Be This Cute!: Weiss is very dominant towards Jaune until he shows a hint of assertiveness, causing her to instantly submit. Jaune quickly realizes that she has a kink for it.
- Stealing Dreams has the Courtesan, a variation of an Abyss succubus that wants to be victimized badly. If you don't hurt her, she attacks you.
- Umbra from Stormwolf Adventures has a deep crush on Spandam and will do anything to be abused by him. Even dress up as Nico Robin.
Film
- A rare male example: In the original American Pie movie, the guy pursued the band girl (eventually giving up on the sex wager), but she ended up dominant during their sex scene.
- BloodRayne (2005): In a way, the films operate in a similar method to the fanfiction examples. In the video games, Rayne is a competent, confident Action Girl who's portrayed as incredibly sexually confident and even quite lustful in battle. In the films, her onscreen sex scenes explicitly put her in the submissive role, which makes it feel like this is being played.
- Nowhere: Elvis is a hyper macho, murderous jerk normally, but loves being slapped and tied up in bed.
Literature
- BioShock: Rapture: When Frank Fontaine begins sleeping with Dr. Tenenbaum, the brilliant, driven, take-no-shit scientist he's been financially supporting, Tenenbaum quietly explains that he'll have to "force her." She'll want sex, to be clear, but she needs the sense of being taken. Fontaine is happy to oblige.
- Celty in Durarara!! is a Badass Biker dullahan who beats up crooks and saves people, while her boyfriend Shinra is a back-alley doctor with a masochistic streak. She's a deredere type of Tsundere and he enjoys verbally provoking her, which often leads to her wrapping him in shadows as punishment. However, Shinra says, "At night, Celty's actually like a little bunny–", which immediately causes her to try and shut him up because she's practically dying of embarrassment from having their sex life discussed in a room full of people.
- Mitza Lizalor in Foundation and Earth. She's a high-ranking member of the government on a Sex Is Evil, and I Am Horny Planet of Hats and is socially dominant with her people and in conversation with the protagonist. She also quite likes sex but is disappointed with the guilt that men on her planet feel about it, so the protagonist uses his supernatural intuition to dominate her in bed. She remains most satisfied, although Golan does realize he should make further visits to the planet and her office few if he doesn't want to go Out with a Bang.
- Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation: Mo Dao Zu Shi: Wei Wuxian isn't exactly aggressive, but he's definitely more outspoken and candid than Lan Wangji. When it comes to their bedroom activities, however, he's more than happy to let his husband take charge, and even enjoys the idea of being pinned down or tied up and left at his beloved's mercy.
- Yuika from Hensuki: Are You Willing to Fall in Love with a Pervert, as Long as She's a Cutie? tries to play the sadist/dom, demanding Keiki become her slave and trying to force him down. When he pushes her down instead though, she gets quite excited and nervous, and her dreams tend to feature him dominating or groping her rather than the other way around.
- Thandi Palane from the Honor Harrington series is described as very sexually submissive, as a respite from her domineering public 'strong' facade. The fact that she's a genetically engineered Heavy Worlder Super-Soldier who can break most men in half and once crushed a man's skull in with her bare fist has made it hard to find men who aren't afraid of her.
- At one point she asks newfound boyfriend Victor Cachat, "Did it ever occur to you that a lady weight-lifter might get tired of it?"
- Victor's morning-after musings also include the line, "Dominating her had been like a mortal dominating a goddess, a feat possible only because the goddess herself willed it."
- Note that Cachat himself, while repeatedly described in the books as a Death incarnate in certain circumstances, is actually a pretty scrawny and physically non-imposing guy. And a bit of a prude to boot.
- Pecora in I've Been Killing Slimes for 300 Years and Maxed Out My Level is very aggressive about getting a Cool Big Sis to dominate and boss her around. She's even miffed that Beelzebub refuses to comply with the idea of acting domineering towards her king, forcing Pecora to look elsewhere.
- Zigzagged by Darkness in KonoSuba, who's submissive to the point of being aggressive as she intimidates everyone around her (especially enemies) with her delusional Aren't You Going to Ravish Me? rants. At one point she even tries to force herself on Kazuma, but gets too flustered to continue.
- Sidonie takes on this role in some of the later Kushiel's Legacy novels.
- In the Millennium Series, Lisbeth Salander tends to be aggressive and dominating when she's just having sex for the sake of sex, but becomes surprisingly submissive when she's with her on-again, off-again girlfriend Mimmi.
- The fourth part of Morgoth's Ring comprises the Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth,
the "Conversation of Finrod and Andreth". Andreth invokes this trope describing her youthful self because of her desire for the elf Aegnor (which he shared, but was unable to return), and implies that this is how all human women are. Finrod was aware of this, as was Aegnor, and he explains that it is not considered acceptable by the Eldar to take advantage of people's desires in that manner. Andreth has some serious trouble accepting this idea.
Andreth: "For one year, one day, of the flame I would have given all: kin, youth, and hope itself: adanethnote I am." - Nikki Heat: Implied with Nikki herself: she's a highly driven and competent police detective as well as a woman who takes krav maga lessons for exercise, but between her and journalist Jameson Rook, she's the first of the two to give the other their safe word. This is in stark contrast to the character she's partially based on, Kate Beckett from Castle, who is unambiguously a domme.
- Nynaeve al'Meara in The Wheel of Time, thanks in (nominal) part to a custom of the people who officiate her marriage: that, as the spouse with the higher status in public, she should defer to her spouse in private. What Lan does with his behind-closed-doors authority is left entirely off-screen, so the only word on the matter is from her: "Glorious".
Live-Action TV
- Better Call Saul: Jimmy dresses in flashy and colorful suits, and he's highly aggressive and underhanded in his legal work, but his more understated partner Kim is the more masculine and dominant of the two. Kim often makes advances upon Jimmy when she's riding the high of pulling a scheme with him; at one point, Jimmy asks Kim to do an impression of her boss, and he becomes flustered (and turned on) when she starts barking orders in her boss's voice.
- Discussed by Lady Heather in the CSI: Crime Scene Investigation episode "Slaves of Las Vegas". Grissom is showing her a picture of a suspect (believed to be involved in a BDSM-related murder) and his wife and she is reading their body language. "See, now she's twisting away, presenting herself to the wealthy alpha male. (...) She wants the dominant male to choose her so she can stop being dominant."
- Heated Rivalry: Shane Hollander's far from a Shrinking Violet in his hockey career, but he takes on a more submissive role in his sexual relationship with Ilya. With Ilya, Shane also prefers to put up a show of resisting Ilya's domination before allowing Ilya to overpower him, instead of simply submitting to Ilya right away.
- Mickey Milkovich in Shameless (US) is an aggressive, violent character who frequently comes to blows with others, and is typically the dominant partner in sexual encounters outside his relationship with Ian Gallagher. However, in his relationship with Ian, Mickey is notably submissive and has even performed oral sex on command.
- Dean Winchester in Supernatural is aggressive and openly tries to take control of situations, often wanting to be the leader. This isn't the case for him in the bedroom, as he is gentle, soft, and very submissive with women. (The opposite of his quieter, more reserved brother, who is actually violent and dominant in bed).
- In one of the episodes of Genesis II by Gene Roddenberry, men are kept in a submissive, subservient state through the fear caused by a drug they are required to ingest, while the women are domineering and dismissive to them, requiring them to keep "eyes down" and not to speak except in response to a direct question, along with many other humiliating rules. When a man shows enough spunk to be promoted to "breeder", he is ritually taken to the bedroom with the woman in charge. Once there, all the rules are temporarily suspended and a relatively normal male-female sexual encounter ensues. It makes for rather a jolt, both for the viewer, and the protagonist.
- Victorious has a kid-friendly version of this trope. Jade has a very aggressive personality and is domineering towards her boyfriend Beck. However, Jade seems to take it the worst whenever the two break up, even being reduced to tears in one episode. The show also implies that Jade enjoys pain.
- Sex and the City: Miranda briefly dates a guy who's really bossy and generally kind of a dick. Being a rather fiercely independent woman, Miranda hates his personality...but she does really enjoy the way he orders her around in bed.
- Mr. Robot: Tyrell Wellick's wife Joanna is a coldly calculating, utterly commanding presence who assiduously plots out Tyrell's rise to power within the show's evil corporation and makes sure he follows each and every step of that plan — including those involving seducing the wives of other executives. She also enjoys being tied up, gagged, and beaten during sex. We actually see her more or less force Tyrell to tie her up and gag her — she was very pregnant at the time, and Tyrell was extremely reluctant to engage in that sort of play.
Music
- Angie’s “Boss” has the singer illustrate her wish for her partner to take on the role of the “boss” in their relationship. Though it’s worth noting that not everything she details that she wants the two of them to do together is sexual, with the song having her ask her significant other to do drugs and head down to the lake together. But of course, the keyword is not everything.
I can be your cherry, you can be my cream
We can go swimming, we can do anything
Sun kiss, red lips, bikinis, smooth skin
I'm a bad bitch, and I like to sin
Video Games
- In City of Heroes we have Silver Mantis, the Number Two of Black Scorpion — one of the Co-Dragons of the Big Bad. Silver Mantis and Black Scorpion are in a BDSM relationship and enjoy testing the limits of their cybernetic frames with each other via massive amounts of what would otherwise be deadly force during sex. While Silver Mantis is a psychopathic Blood Knight in the field, she very enthusiastically is the submissive in her relationship with Black Scorpion.
- In Dispatch, Invisigal is very hostile, confrontational, loud, strong-willed, and obnoxious in her interactions with most people (especially Robert), as part of her tough, rebel persona. Her more emotionally tender moments show, however, that she can be very passive and sweet when she lets her guard down and allows herself to be vulnerable. Her Erotic Dream also demonstrates that she takes a submissive role in sex.
- In Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, EVA pursues Snake extremely aggressively from almost the moment she's introduced, and he spends much of the game either trying to shove her off him or joylessly enduring her kisses and gropes. While she is the one who initiates the eventual sex and takes the lead in the foreplay, there's a point, a little while before the sex actually commences, where Snake suddenly grabs her, pushes her onto her back and powerfully dominates her. From a writing standpoint, their relationship was so physically one-sided up until then that Snake had to show extreme enthusiasm to establish that their sex scene wasn't just EVA raping him after having broken his spirit with a week-long course of continuous sexual harassment.
- Mass Effect:
- Female Shepard and Liara have this type of relationship, with Shepard being the aggressive, dominant soldier who instigates (or at least tries to) most if not all her romances (Kaidan, Liara, Jacob, Garrus, Thane, Kelly, Samara, Tali, Joker, Vega) while Liara begins as the Shrinking Violet who squees big if Shepard takes a romantic interest in her. However, as she grows in confidence over the course of the trilogy, the role changes to her being a Violently Protective Girlfriend to the galaxy's ultimate badass and, as her father points out, it is Liara who throws Shepard on the bed and peels her out of her uniform.
- Male Shepards get Ashley, an Action Girl who tries to seduce him with poetry, and Jack, a psychotic sexually aggressive Fetishized Abuser. Both relinquish control during a romance. Tali on the other hand is the inverse, a Shrinking Violet who pounces Shepard during their romance scene.
- Male Shepard and Ashley are possibly both this from some Citadel DLC dialogue. Shepard can say that he likes it when she takes charge when they're out for drinks. When they wake up after a loud party, he mentions that she gave him some bruises. But, only enough to get his attention.
- Male Shepard himself becomes the aggressive submissive when romancing Kaidan, especially if he's a renegade. While Kaidan is a softspoken, sweet Dogged Nice Guy most of the time, in their romance scene he is the one that pushes Shepard down on the bed and climbs on top of him, and when they wake up, Kaidan is the big spoon. There's also the scene in the Citadel DLC where he agrees that Shepard is the boss... except when you're not. In that case... find him later.
- Dragon Age:
- Leliana in Dragon Age: Origins can also come across as this, particularly if hardened, with the culmination of the romance has her basically demanding The Warden goes to bed with her. If she remains softened Leliana is still quite persistent.
- Used a great deal more explicitly in Dragon Age: Inquisition where BDSM is a pretty explicit part of the Inquisitor's relationship with Iron Bull, should they hook up. The Inquisitor might be the biggest badass walking the earth, with the authority of entire nations at their beck and call, but is utterly submissive to Bull in the bedroom. They even have a Safe Word. Bull actually refuses to engage in any other type of relationship (with the Inquisitor at least); he reasons that because the Inquisitor has so much responsibility they need some time to let someone else take control, and if the Inquisitor says that's not the case Bull doesn't trust his own judgement enough to safely continue the relationship. Haughty aristocrat Dorian is also a bottom, although it's less of a focus in his romance; if neither is romanced he and Bull hook up.
- In Helltaker, the titular character is a Chivalrous Pervert '90s Anti-Hero who goes To Hell and Back for the sake of building a harem of demon girls. After he actually gets said harem, he quickly becomes a Henpecked Husband catering to their every whim while trying to keep them from terrorizing his neighborhood in the process.
- Takumi from Fire Emblem Fates is a male example, especially if he marries Corrin. Despite being a highly-competitive Jerk with a Heart of Gold, he blushes just as much as anyone else during his post-marriage conversations with his spouse in the player's castle, and the majority of his S-Supports have him softening up big time. With Corrin, he starts off the most verbally aggressive towards her, but later is one of the quickest husbands to say that he loves her in his voiced lines, and his kiss quotes for her are spoken in an almost shy way.
- Sir Hammerlock of Borderlands 2 (and 3) is a gentleman of the Forward variety, though it's Played With. He's a certified badass and legendarily brave Great White Hunter, but also one of the most sexually open characters in the entire series, perhaps only second to Moxxi; and yet almost every time he mentions his preferences, he makes it very clear he's a submissive of the BDSM variety.
Visual Novels
- Akiha Tohno in Tsukihime makes very obvious passes on Shiki (and creeps him out repeatedly) throughout her route, but when it comes to the sex scene, he takes complete control.
- A similar dynamic occurs with Rin Tohsaka in Fate/stay night. Throughout the route, she is an assertive Tsundere and The Tease, but in her sex scene, she becomes uncharacteristically shy. Once it's over, she reverts to her original state and scolds Shirou for being too aggressive in bed! It's worth noting that in the Fate route's three-way scene with Saber and the scene in the sequel Fate/hollow ataraxia, she acts more like her usual self. This implies it's more about her inexperience and anxiety over being the focus of Shirou's attention (plus Shirou's... uh... "girth") than an inherent part of her personality.
- That said, even in the sequel, she still displays some notable shy moments. The implication seems to be that her shyness emerges when she feels out of control, explaining her submissiveness in the initial sex scene and her increased assertiveness after losing her virginity. She also becomes much bolder during Hollow Ataraxia, even managing to make some quite lewd insinuations to Shirou; conversely, when he teases her, intentionally or not, she still gets quite flustered, blushing copiously and, at times, even acting submissively. During a shoulder massage, for instance, Rin teasingly warns him that touching her in a "weird place" will result in her killing him; Shirou jokingly asks if that applies even if the place in question is really stiff, which catches Rin completely by surprise. She can muster no reaction other than to blush furiously, look down, and meekly call him a idiot.
- Fate/EXTRA CCC provides a handy explanation, at least for its version of Rin. Precisely because she grew up with no other choice than to be very independent and hard-working, and because she is normally The Perfectionist, she secretly craves being able to just relinquish power and control and not have to be the one worrying about whether or not things will be alright for just a little bit when with a partner. Both she and the Player Character acknowledge that this doesn't affect her normal behavior and is not something she would ever allow to overshadow her true, hard-ass self, except for brief moments.
- The Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc character Touko Fukawa is a hostile introvert who constantly insults the other students, and in her pursuit of Byakuya makes inappropriate advances which stop just short of stalking (as she will leave him alone if he asks) and delusionally claims to be in a relationship with him... yet she aspires to become a dutiful housewife that can fulfill all his needs and fully embraces being a complete doormat to him both metaphorically and, according to a bonus mode exchange, literally as well. This dichotomy bemuses all of the other characters. Taken further by her alter Genocider Syo, a literal serial killer with a bombastic personality and all of Touko's vulgarity and more who still nonetheless acts subserviently towards Byakuya.
- Danganronpa V3: Killing Harmony introduces Ultimate Inventor Miu Iruma, the "gorgeous girl genius" who constantly boasts about her accomplishments and appearance, barrages the other characters with insults, and is perhaps the single most vulgar character in the entire series. Despite this, her facade is not very hard to crack, and it reveals a meeker, submissive side. She's shown to get off on being degraded, like being called a "cum dumpster" by Kokichi, and in Love Across the Universe, she will beg for mercy when Shuichi suggests sword-fighting with movie posters, believing that he is punishing her for making him angry. At one point in Ultimate Summer Camp, Mikan tries to placate an angry Miu by telling her that she is free to write mean words on her if she wants. Miu awkwardly says that she prefers to be written on than write on someone, indicating that Miu tends to be submissive. Though notably, unlike most examples, there are still multiple implications Miu does genuinely enjoy being in positions of power, and her Love Hotel event has her end up taking charge. When she performs maintenance on K1-B0, she will act assertively in a very flirty manner.
- Momoyo Kawakami of Majikoi! Love Me Seriously! has few qualms about teasing the protagonist Yamato. However if the two become a couple, she finds out that his sexual boundaries far outstrip hers and in certain situations even cause the normally boisterous girl to become timid under his thumb. Ironically she has a number of sexual encounters with him when they're not a couple where she's far from shy.
Web Animation
- Helluva Boss: Stolas is very vocal about wanting to have sex with Blitzø, but most of his (often heavily bleeped-out) lines describing the act are about Blitzø being inside him, and it's shown that he very much enjoys being dominated by Blitzø in BDSM sessions at the very least. This despite Blitzø being a lowly imp, and Stolas a demon prince of Hell.
Webcomics
- Darcy from Ennui GO! is normally the top/dominant when it comes to sex (along with being a fearsome, violent and shrewd woman in general), but there are very rare instances where she lets (or in her words "allows") someone else take the lead:
- She actually lets Tanya take the lead during sex once in "Top from the Bottom" to keep her cosplaying a secret, yet she's still acting like her normal dominant self.
Darcy: (as Tanya is thrusting inside her) Yes, YES! Thrust into Darcy! Quiver and WEEP as your sense of self withers and DIES in the subsummation that is DARCY!
Tanya: I can't tell if this is hot or not. - In "Top of the List", as part of Izzy's list of ways to improve herself, Darcy suggests letting Izzy burn off some calories through sex since she "hide[s] in the crawl space whenever [they] attempt normal exercise" and, with great reluctance, lets Izzy take the lead. That said in "Pushing Your Luck", both girls agree that Tanya remains the bottom, much the latter's annoyance.
- She actually lets Tanya take the lead during sex once in "Top from the Bottom" to keep her cosplaying a secret, yet she's still acting like her normal dominant self.
- Alvida, the titular demon king of Demon King GF is typically shown to be hot-headed, boisterous and slightly mischievous. However, when it comes to romance and especially sexual affairs, she is easily flustered and demure, often letting the Hero take both the initiative and lead. It helps that Hero, normally a Henpecked Husband out of the bedroom, is usually very horny and eager when it comes to his wife. It's downplayed though as she can just as quickly take charge herself on occasion.
- Simon in Leftover Soup is an interesting subversion. He comes across as very assertive normally but is actually totally submissive. Tuesday is S&M day, where one or more of the others in the poly relationship he is part of satisfy his submissive nature and enjoyment of pain. And at the very end, they order him to be proactive, assertive, and dominant for the next six days.
- Simon "I'm in assertive mode right now. It makes me incredibly uncomfortable, which is awesome".
- Lisa of Sunstone is the submissive in her relationship with Ally. Outside the bedroom, however, Lisa tends to be the more active one in the relationship.
- Jillian in Erfworld is a headstrong barbarian warlord and the submissive, masochistic partner in her relationship with Wanda. That said, when she realizes Wanda wants to extend her authority beyond the bedroom and into Jillian's day to day life — and is willing to Mind Rape Jillian to do so — she chews Wanda out on it, pointing out the "submissive" aspect of her in no way invalidates the "aggressive" aspect. Realizing that Wanda isn't going to change is what ultimately makes her break off their Destructive Romance.
- The backstory also has her think of one of her subordinate soldiers in terms of "giving orders to her by day and taking them at night".
Web Original
- Alien Abduction Role Play: the unnamed human protagonist is heavily implied to be a shameless vorarephile who demands mouthplay from their alien girlfriend, Acktreal. This doesn't end well for them, or the rest of their crew, when this sets her predatory instincts off and puts them in danger.
- The Nostalgia Critic manages to be both a Hot-Blooded brat who shoots things for catharsis and a sexually submissive Extreme Doormat who is desperate for affection. As you might have already guessed, this leads to him getting taken advantage of over and over again.
- Ask That Guy with the Glasses is a psychotic rapist, but has proudly bragged of "going down on everyone and everything".
Western Animation
- Zapp Brannigan from Futurama is a comically-pathetic Forward Submissive. He's incredibly flirtatious with women in general and an Abhorrent Admirer to Leela, but his specific turn-ons are things like being spanked and having a restraint around his necked tightened while taken prisoner. Leela has implied he's a Casanova Wannabe exactly because he's a selfish, inept lover that expects his partner to do everything.
Zapp: Just let me work for a little food. Perhaps I could paint a fence, or service you sexually, or mop the floors.
Leela: You don't know how to do any of those things. - Hazbin Hotel:
- While Angel Dust is unquestionably a flamboyant Pretty Boy who is clearly very submissive in the sheets (take note of the fact that he propositions both Alastor and Husk to have sex with him, not for him to have sex with them and that all the porn he stars in has him in a subservient role), he is also headstrong, resolute and can carry himself well in a fight as well as hold higher status over other people in the room with his loud mouth and outrageous attitude. Husk even outright labels him as a "power bottom" during "Loser, Baby".
- Zigzagged with Niffty; despite her interest in bad boys and admission to liking being forced, the fact that she shows up in a dominatrix outfit looking to "punish" said bad boys implies she's just as interested in being dominant as well.
- While Valentino enjoys being the dominant one when he has sex with others, it's implied in "It's a Deal" that he's willing to be submissive when it comes to him and Vox having sex together.
- There are some hints in Season 2 that between Vaggie and Charlie, the latter is actually the more aggressive partner in the bedroom.
- Homer Simpson from The Simpsons is an obnoxious loudmouth who aggressively pulls his family into most of his screw-ups. But in the bedroom, he's very happy for Marge to take the lead, including tying him up. It helps that despite the Hair-Trigger Temper, he's also an Extreme Doormat, even enjoying it when "Kirk" (really Milhouse, It's a Long Story) takes charge of him. In a universe where Lousy Lovers Are Losers, snuggling with Marge is one of the few things he's good at, and some later episodes hint they'll have fun pegging every so often.
- Steven Universe has another non-explicit - though likely very much intentional example - in the form of Jasper, who despite being a brutish and domineering Blood Knight is actually shown to have become the submissive one in her toxic fusion with Lapis Lazuli, desperately pleading with her to become Malachite with her again and making it clear she enjoyed having Lapis's anger taken out on her. This facet of Jasper is actually heavily significant to her overall character and a dark byproduct of Homeworld's corrupt system - as the Ultimate Quartz created and born into a war, Jasper is dependent on Homeworld's structure and the idea of having a higher power to put her in "her place" for purpose. This results in a tragically self-destructive addiction to power that leads her to seek out and latch onto similar dynamics, such as an unhealthy and abusive relationship with one of few singular gems who physically overpowers her.
- In The Venture Bros., the hyper-masculine badass Brock Samson enters a relationship with the Amazonian Beauty Warriana. When they first hook up, he later wakes up post-coitus with her whip in his ass, and admits later under a Truth Serum that he liked doing "butt stuff" with her.
Fanwork examples
Anime and Manga
- If there's a doujinshi focused on a girl with a dominant personality in canon, not only will she not be dominant, but she'll likely be getting raped or NTR'd. Or both.
- Sometimes there's even a nasty Double Subversion where the girl starts dominant for a few pages to half the doujinshi, then the guy rapes her or something like that. If it's an attempt to pander to both femdom and non-femdom fans, it fails, as the former will be angry at the cop-out and the latter have lots of material that caters fully to them.
- The only notable aversion seems to be Houkago Play doujins, which often keeps the girlfriend assertive at leastnote . Considering there's no anime and it's unlikely you know about the manga unless you're into feet and dominant girls, it's kind of justified.
- Inverted by the ocassional doujinshi where a Shrinking Violet or other non-dominant girl becomes a total domme. Note this is much, much rarer than seeing this played straight.
- Evangelion 303: Shinji is quiet, shy and non-confrontational. Asuka is hot-tempered, stubborn and domineering. Still, when they make love, Asuka always wants him to take the initiative and be assertive and dominant. And during the Las Vegas trip, she teaches him how to be a good dom.
- Power Plays (archived mirror, NSFW): In this Evangelion Shinji/Asuka fanfic Asuka is dominant and Shinji is submissive. However, Asuka wants to make Shinji more assertive because she has troubles opening up and making herself vulnerable. This is used like a way to make the two of them beginning to discover more about their relationship and each other as their relationship develops and evolves throughout the story.
- Light Yagami in Death Note: The Abridged Series (Kpts4tv) is a pretty good example of how he's perceived in fanon. Like in canon he's a Serial Killer who wants to be known as God so he is very domineering of the people around him, however when it comes to relationships he almost never comes out on top. This is especially apparent in his pursuit of L who he attempts to seduce in Femme Fatale fashion.
- Light Yagami again in the Crack Fic A Charmed Life, Lampshaded when Ryuk declares him to be "a natural bottom."
- In Passion on Display, Bakugo ends up bottoming to Kirishima when they have Their First Time. The next day, Bakugo snaps at him, "Fucker, my ass hurts, did you have to go so hard?!"
- The X in X Minutes Beastars parody depicts Louis as this in his advances towards Legoshi. He even describes himself as a "power bottom."
Literature
- Deconstructed in the (very NSFW) A Song of Ice and Fire and Game of Thrones fanfic they say he turns into a wolf at night, in which Robb's extreme sexual submissiveness is presented as a deeply unhealthy coping mechanism he uses to deal with suddenly being forced to take on the power and authority of being Lord of Winterfell, a role he feels deeply unprepared for but also feels is his duty to perform at all times, while simultaneously being left behind by most of his family and support network. Unfortunately, the stress, guilt and cognitive dissonance he feels over his resulting behaviour only makes him feel more incapable of living up to his responsibilities, leading to something of a vicious circle. It ends badly.
- Implied with Suguha in Sword Art Online Abridged. She's a domineering, violent, Jerkass, but every time she alludes to her and Nagata's sex life it's always in reference to her pleasuring him rather than the other way around. Episode 13 also has her roleplaying being sexually assaulted by three Salamanders.
Video Games
- Many fanworks featuring Bayonetta fall into this trope. Entertainingly, this was the major complaint that the creator had about Rule 34 involving her — not that it existed, but that she tended to be portrayed in the submissive role, and the fandom actually reacted by making her the dominant one more frequently.
- Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged puts this spin on Cid Highwind and Shera's relationship. Cid's just as verbally abusive toward Shera as he is in canon, but when they retire to their sex dungeon, she pays him back with interest. Their sessions are portrayed as a way for Cid to vent his legitimate resentment towards Shera for her role in ruining his dream without becoming hurtful, and she's obviously enjoying herself too.
Cid: SHERA! Where the hell is that god! Damned! Tea?! (menacingly) Do I have to make you take me to the basement again?
Shera: (flirty giggle) Cid! We have guests! - For another male example, this is basically how fans enjoy portraying Scaramouche, something that several fans made note of.
- Played darkly in the Hyrule Warriors fanfic Shatter. Cia breaks Link down into her personal plaything through weeks of mental and sexual abuse, but bottoms both times they're shown having sex.
Web Original
- The RWBY fanfic Vale's Underground portrays Cinder this way. She's a psychopathic sadist who is extremely authoritarian with how she treats others who are beneath her. When she has sex with Mercury, she is surprisingly willing to let him be rough with her. However, she still keeps up her aggressive attitude and it is noted that anyone else would've at least lost a finger by that point.
- The NSFW comic "The Conqueror and the Concubine" by Phobs has Genghis Khan's grandson Batu end up as the submissive to his new wife, a very enthusiastic Kipchak princess.
Princess: Which one of us is the helpless and defenseless captive and which is the lusty godless conqueror? I'm not some whiny Russian virgin! You were supposed to rip the clothes off me and dishonor me in the filthiest way possible! And here I am undressing myself! Now get a move on. Crawl up here and rape me.
Western Animation
- Ritual: note Rumi is The Leader not because she's especially confident in herself but because she's far more capable and loyal to their mentor than the rest of her teammates. Off-stage, she channels her need for validation and structure into being the perfect submissive (as defined by her girlfriends).
- In the Jem fanfic A Song of Grumbling & Cotton Candy, Pizzazz may normally come off as the loud and abrasive type but she turns into a softy around her girlfriend Jerrica. It's also heavily implied that Jerrica is the more aggressive one in bed.