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☁︎ c!. 26. she/her. a place for all the dreams in my head ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
📂 read the folders」 📂 saved files!」
he’s everywhere in my room guys…i’m hurting a lot (which is so fucking laughable cause wow i thought i escaped this parasocial shit) but god damn this is all so fucking sad and disappointing it makes me so sick. and then to have people just call me a bunch of names like i don’t already feel frustrated and ashamed at myself that i first tried to believe he was a good person and it was an ignorant mistake. obviously, with the way hes handling it — showing up to the airport like nothing happened, that stupid fucking ig story with that insensitive caption, playing the innocent victim when he clearly knows everything that’s happening now — he keeps proving that he’s not and i was wrong about him and who i thought he was and all of you are correct. im sorry for even being naive about it all.
thank you to everyone who was kind enough to understand my first reaction and my decision now.
i really just wanted this place to be a safe outlet for my writing and to share other people’s writing but it doesn’t feel like that anymore with how people expect me to talk about everything and then immediately just burn me if they don’t agree with a single thing i say.
i’m just tired. and honestly, i can’t really see myself writing for any kpop man ever again. knowing that any of them could just come out to be the worst fucking person when i write about them with so much love and care it’s just exhausting.
this was fun while it lasted and i have enjoyed sharing my writing with all of you and reading your feedbacks, it was really the only thing holding me up for months.
i’ll keep my works up because i spent a lot of time, effort and care on those and i know a lot of you loved them as much as i do.
if anyone wants to write any of the prompts or concepts i put up in the past, you can go ahead and do it. no one has to give me credit either. i’m sorry i wasn’t able to finish them properly.
- with love, c.
Anonymous asked:
jfc i can't believe youre STILL trying to say its an assumption to say he knew what he was wearing. get the fuck out of here you racist apologist ass
“still” trying?? when i literally said i will no longer talk or write about mark lee. when i said he has become a person i no longer recognized?? i’ve already dropped him.
i thought that was clear but apparently everything has to be spelled out for everyone — i am no longer a fan of mark lee.
you try being a fan for someone for eight fucking years, i fucking loved that guy ofc i was going to try to hold on to the good that he has shown for the past years and give him the benefit of the doubt at FIRST.
BUT i’ve already stated that my opinion has changed. i never went out of my way to “defend him.” im not out here arguing with people over what they think.
i admitted that i had initial concerns and that was my mistake, i acknowledged that by saying it’s a naive take.
it was my initial reaction at the time. the same way A LOT of people was also confused on how to feel is how I FELT as well.
YOU get out of my ask box.
Anonymous asked:
I’m ngl it makes me so sad to see people attacking you, I hope you’re doing okay :(
it’s fine. honestly, you all can whack me again….lowkey needed it.
i think i am gonna step away from here a bit though just because i don’t know if i want to continue writing at all at the moment. spending so much time and love and energy on these works just for nothing is 🚬🚬🚬
i’ll post the one loverboy jisung extra scene i have in my drafts (cause i did finish writing it) but idk what else after that. sorry.
Anonymous asked:
omg im so sorry, i literally took like 20min to type my longass ask and you posted while i was still typing it. i didnt see your posts that you werent going to talk about it!! i didnt mean to send in an ask after you already said you were gonna stop talking about it...sorry! and sorry u had to received unpleasant messages too :(
you’re good, don’t worry about it! i’ll just keep that in my ask though, sorry!
Anonymous asked:
im so sorry everyones being so insane abt you why are they acting like you did it... it has nothing to do with you any more than any other fan omg
sighhhh idk the way everyone was given grace and was able to be confused and have mixed feelings and stay silent about it. but i didn’t say anything someone said it was weird….i said my opinion at the time, i have people calling me a racist…….its just wow okay. checking this app has been so tiring. i’m kinda over it all.
Reblogged
alright, my thoughts. even though i genuinely don’t think mine is that important.
the facts are:
1. mark wore a shirt with a confederate flag on it
2. a photo was posted online which is how we found out about it
3. people brought this up to upperroom
4. upperroom posted an apology statement that stated they do not tolerate the meaning behind the symbol
those are simply the facts without everyone’s assumptions and added narratives.
now with that being said, i think:
first and most importantly, he’s ignorant as hell for this.
do i think he wore it with malice? judging from his statement. no. i don’t think so. i think it was just a shirt they found thrifting, hence the word “vintage” being thrown around.
does that make it okay? NO. NOT AT ALL.
mark lee is a public figure who is responsible for making sure he knows what he’s representing. and wearing a symbol you don’t know the meaning of is just plain stupid. he can no longer take away the fact that his name and face is now linked to the confederate flag — even though he rejects that he supports it — that is the consequence of his own ignorance.
okay, so there’s obviously been a lot of discourse with this post, and i get it. some admitted to having mixed feelings. some truly don’t know what to feel. and others have a very set perspective. i would like to clarify a few things:
i want to make this very clear, i do not and never will support the racist beliefs associated with the confederacy or what the confederate flag represents.
Anonymous asked:
With the way this industry is openly anti-black I can't even say I'm surprised. Eunseok calling himself the n-word, G-Dragon wearing it on a shirt, Jaehyun saying it....🤦🏾♀️.
I'm so disappointed. After he left the group I was so ready to support him and his art and then he does dumb shit like this. My people will never be free it's disheartening.
you would think all of these idols would take world history classes by now with the way they want to push for globalization so badly but no. they’re just okay with being stupid
Anonymous asked:
Are you changing your username
see the beautiful thing about my username is it can go two ways:
with love, mark
or with, lovemark
i already thought about the possibility of a man disappointing me and that’s why i chose this 😭 i was also writing for different fandoms so i wanted something that made sense not just in kpop 😭
hi hii!! i'm sure u've heard of the trouble that mark is in right now and it had me thinking about u and how u JUST got through finishing MoL🥹🥹 even though i haven't read it yet, i'm so sure that u put a lot of work into both parts and for him to just casually show up in a shirt like that shortly after posting, had me feeling quite bad honestly😖 if u don't mind sharing, what's ur opinion on this whole thing with mark wearing that shirt? no pressure at all btw~ ^^
no seriously i’m so tired ……..he’s so embarrassing and i wrote that story with so much love 😒
alright, my thoughts. even though i genuinely don’t think mine is that important.
the facts are:
1. mark wore a shirt with a confederate flag on it
2. a photo was posted online which is how we found out about it
3. people brought this up to upperroom
4. upperroom posted an apology statement that stated they do not tolerate the meaning behind the symbol
those are simply the facts without everyone’s assumptions and added narratives.
now with that being said, i think:
first and most importantly, he’s ignorant as hell for this.
do i think he wore it with malice? judging from his statement. no. i don’t think so. i think it was just a shirt they found thrifting, hence the word “vintage” being thrown around.
does that make it okay? NO. NOT AT ALL.
mark lee is a public figure who is responsible for making sure he knows what he’s representing. and wearing a symbol you don’t know the meaning of is just plain stupid. he can no longer take away the fact that his name and face is now linked to the confederate flag — even though he rejects that he supports it — that is the consequence of his own ignorance.
Anonymous asked:
How do you brainstorm your ideas?
oooh! umm my brainstorms usually just consists of me solidifying who the reader is / what kind of person the chosen nct lead is and listing down moments/lines i want to add so i don’t forget them later on!
it just helps me remember/make sense of what i’m writing lol…no real scene writing actually happens yet
for example this was my brainstorm page for mol — most scenes made it in but not all and new scenes got added along the way that aren’t on here lol 😗:
Anonymous asked:
haneul lee is such a perfect name 😭😭 I feel like mark would actually name his kid haneul 100%
ikr!!! mark told me himself 😗✌️😬 (kidding)
haneul lee just sounded so pretty 🥹 plus the names meaning too is just so perfect for mark!
but i actually had such a hard time naming the lee children because i did NOT like how A LOT of names sounded with lee lololol — i was at first leaning into snow/winter/holiday themed names but it was nottttt working out so i searched up sky names and those are what popped up
i really like aera cause i like the visualization i see in my head for the name lolol (i kinda see pretty, winter air) 🥹
and eun-woo because baby eunwoo is such a gentle baby but his birth felt like a harsh rainstorm for mark 🥹
hi im back!! i just finished pt. 2 and it made me feel so warm inside.... like actually- wanting-to-be-a-mom level (only for mark lee tho hehe)
i just love love love the way you write mark 😭 his thoughts and dialogue feel so natural to me idk it honestly fuels my delusions SO THANK YOU 😚
now, for some lines/scenes that make me think: damn, c really did that huh?
1. "do. you. love me?" EXTREMELY queen charlotte: a bridgeton story coded!!!!! and when she sobbed "of course i love you" LIKE DUH YOU DUMMY 🥺
2. "just love me and i'll burn the whole house down just to get you out of here" FUCK THAT WAS SO SEXY like yes plsssssss i would combust if someone said that to me
3. the way mark leaned back with his hands behind his head to watch her i- that was incredibly hot wtf????? didnt know it was a fantasy of mine. it also made me cackle when they asked each other where they learned to do all dat 🤪
4. the full-circle moment of reader waking up before mark and having a lovely one-on-one with mama lee MY HEART 🤧 and instead of completely disappearing from his life (cant even begin to imagine the trauma and trust issues that mark developed from that 😭) THEY GOT MARRIED - and we cheered!!
also not mama lee being her fave person AHAHAHA
pt. 2 was just genuine love manifested, im kinda speechless 😵💫 just 2 yearners fr. i agree - wonder what it's like to love so deeply that half a decade couldnt do so much as to dilute your connection even by a little bit. those 2 just get each otherrr.
MoL brought out the lovergirl in me i swear ❤️🩹 i swooned and was SO giddy reading the epilogue + the babies' gender reveal!! but at the same time I WANT WHAT THEY HAVE 😭
so well-written i ate that shit up!! i def get what you mean when you say you were inspired by yspsfagsil 🥹 am so blessed i get to read your work 💌 already excited for wiwy!!
thank u a million for coming back and taking the time to share this with me!!! ♥️
1. wait. omygod. you’re so right!!! i didn’t even realize!!!!! that’s probably where my brain got it from ouhhhhh i should rewatch that show it’s sooo good
2. HE’S #1 SEXIEST MAN IN THE WORLD (also so sexy of him for never making her live there again, like respectfully fuck your mansion father in law i can provide for my wife!)
3. fun fact: while i was writing their smutty scenes i really wanted it to be playful where they could be having sex and making jokes at the same time because i just think that really shows how comfortable u are with someone…if u can also joke about it hehe
4. of course mama lee is her favorite character 🙂↕️
i’m glad this brought out the lovergirl in you!!! ❄️💎🩵