Pinned
This is why I’m called Usearki. Just thought I’d make it my sticky post as it still amuses me years later.
If tumblr dies I will be on Bluesky. (@Catatomical)
I also have accounts on Pillowfort, Aethy and Mastodon as further backups.
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via pnkmateria
i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom
my mom says i have to go to bed now which one of u meaners told
who the fudge changed ‘fudgers’ to ‘meaners’
WHO CHANGED IT FROM FUDGERS TO FUDGERS I WILL KISS THE POPSICLE DONT TICKLE ME JAMBOREE
and here we have an artifact of the days when you could edit posts when you reblogged…now we are all Internet Archeologists
“Cassandra woke up to the rays of the sun streaming through the slats on her blinds, cascading over her naked chest. She stretched, her breasts lifting with her arms as she greeted the sun. She rolled out of bed and put on a shirt, her nipples prominently showing through the thin fabric. She breasted boobily to the stairs, and titted downwards.”
[source]
this is so bad this is the worst thing
I heard vine compilations were a thing
I actually laughed so hard I cried at “when I was gay I thought I was in the third grade”
@leatardian milk girl
so trump is coming to denmark
freaking sigh
update: jesus christ the idiot is trying to buy greenland. im not even surprised
Update again: he has now cancelled his trip because we wouldn’t sell Greenland. So, in summary.
The idiot asks to come here - the Queen invites him.
It’s revealed he wants to buy Greenland - that stupid and very offensive idea pisses off both Greenland and Denmark ‘cause what the actual fuck.
Trump gets pissy that we won’t sell and now cancels his trip after we’ve spent weeks planning it - and in doing so he has now pissed off the Royal House because you do not freaking cancel an invite from the Queen. That’s never happened before. It’s so rude. What the fuck.
Wow. I knew Trump coming here would be a shitshow, but somehow it turned out to be a greater shitshow without him coming here. But mister president, we’d planned for you. We had a balloon and everything…
Aaaaand there’s an update.
Trump is now lashing out on our Prime Minister, saying it’s all her fault because she was being inappropriate and nasty be saying that selling Greenland is an absurd idea.
Dude, selling Greenland is the definition of absurd. First of all, you don’t freaking sell countries. Second, Greenland has self-government. It’s not like we could sell the place if we wanted to, which we definitely won’t.
Trump wanted Greenland, our Prime Minister, a lady, told him no without hesitating. Now he’s throwing a fit, acting like a baby, and the Danish politicians are not having it. Trump has pissed of the Royal House, Denmark and Greenland. Wow. Slow clap. Nice job. As if we didn’t hate you enough before.
Fun fact though: the baby Trump balloon is still coming to Denmark so now people are planning to welcome it instead of the real deal (the balloon is an improvement)
If the Queen takes a pic with the balloon, I’d LOVE to see it.
The latest update:
Denmark offered to buy America, and give it an education system and national healthcare, since “it’s most definitely for sale”.
This sounded just way too wacky to be true, so I’ve done some poking around on google, and everything from official news sites to live television news feeds confirms every bit of this.
TEN MIL?????????????????????
THEYRE GONNA RAISE THE PRICES BECAUSE OF THIS DUDE??????????????????
Megacorp worth over $130B: Oh no, our new streaming service only made $70M in one day! We’re losing so much money! If we don’t raise prices, we could go bankrupt!
Megacorp: *cries gold coins all the way to the bank*
Poor Di$ney. If only evil thieving pirates would stop sharing passwords with friends and family, maybe the company could make some money! What is this world coming to? This is almost as bad as employees asking for a livable wage instead of showering the Mouse with gratitude for the privilege of working in the Happiest Place on Earth!™
