thedogbard

@thedogbard / thedogbard.tumblr.com

not a frequent user of social media. obsessively addicted to about four fandoms. ships rare or unfavoured pairings. oh, and suffers horribly from Writer's Disease. not hereditary, and completely incurable. come chat with me about writing, dogs, cats, fandoms, baking, or...[static crackles]. I'm friendly and sarcastic 😉 ⚠️NOT TAKING FIC REQUESTS CURRENTLY⚠️ (Also! I take fic requests...there's a link for my guidelines post in my intro)

Pinned

intro post (cause it's about time🙃)

okay, first of all, heya, and i'm "thedogbard" or "N". I'm socially awkward irl, someone who pretends to be an introvert to disguise my loneliness, and someone who is really good at random living-life shit and not so good at anything specific (like maths) (ugh).

i originally made a tumblr account to promote my fanfic magnum opus. so here it is:

But firstly I'd like to specify that I do NOT support JKR. I have owned the books for years, and before I got tumblr, in Sep 2025, I didn't actually know what she was doing. Almost all of the fanfic I've written was before that. Writing fanfic does not give the franchise profit, but it might give the author or reader a bit of happiness. Anyway, I'm trying not to write anything else for the HP/FB fandoms now, and I'm steering well clear of the HP show. I don't judge you if you're an HP fan as long as you don't support JKR, so please extend me the same courtesy.

Nothing Like This

https://archiveofourown.org/works/71726416?view_full_work=true

December 1993. Newt Scamander appears in Hogwarts, clutching a battered suitcase, claiming to have just been duelling Grindelwald alongside Dumbledore - who’s now aged by sixty years.

Lord Voldemort is on the rise. Dementors surround the school. A Muggleborn Slytherin witch is fighting to find a place in the Wizarding World.

And, well, Newt’s just sort of there.

Fully completed: a Newt Scamander x original female character story, spanning the events of the HP books. Posted weekly on ao3, quotev, fanfic.net, and wattpad.

#intro post #about me #pinned intro #fanfic

and I couldn't even do the one thing I was meant to.

#Vent #I'm so annoyed with myself

Reblogged

Source: reddit.com

I am so pissed off.

#I am already a horrible overthinker #I get irrationally alarmed #Now I literally can't do anything without analysing myself #And I'm losing all ability to tell if it's in my head caused by my head or actually something

Reblogged

what-even-is-thiss

A lot of my vegetarian friends don’t get why I still eat meat even though I mostly eat vegetarian with just occasional meat when left to my own devices and at the end of the day it’s because I just don’t have the same moral issues involved with killing animals that they do.

Yes I love animals. I don’t love them because they’re cute and I feel bad for killing them though. I love them as part of the broader ecosystem. I respect them. Probably more than they respect me, because at the end of the day I know that a chicken wouldn’t hesitate to eat me if it had the means and I don’t see why I shouldn’t strike first.

Reblogged bunnybelovedsblog

The Jar

grey and dull sits the skull by itself on the shelf. strangely tense, mirth and sense near but far, through the jar. will it break? will it flee, if it did? close the lid. when to shatter see-through matter chooses she, so will he.

Reblogged lost-long-ago

kingjaffejoffer

[ Video Description: a video split in half between a person recording inside of a subway and a person with a camera strapped to their forehead.

Music: (upbeat, electronic pop)

As the door to the subway opens, the person dashes out and begins to run out of the station. The subway closes the doors as the person is almost by the staircase leading outside. The video goes on, and the person keeps running and the subway keeps going.

Music: (stops)

Sound: (footsteps echoing, heavy breathing)

The person reaches another station, and the subway starts to stop. As they make their way down to the platform, the person inside the subway puts the camera down, and the doors open. The person almost runs through the platform, but manages to run to the correct subway and get in.

Person inside: Come on! Yeah! (Laughter)

People: (clapping)

The person immediately falls on the ground, near the door, and from their camera, all you can see is the ceiling of the subway train. /End Description ]

Reblogged tryingtimes22

londoncallingsigh

Martin Freeman’s joyous skate in new Vodafone Glide Through Christmas ad

Hello yes can someone please write a fic where Sherlock accidentally spies John skating and is transfixed because 1. he didn’t know John could skate and 2. John looks so natural and happier than Sherlock has ever seen him (even though he’s doing it in secret oh no why is he engaging in his passion only in secret perhaps there’s a Tragic Backstory™️ there??) and 3. HE DIDN’T KNOW JOHN COULD SKATE and he must find a way to let John knows he knows without pissing him off. Also, what else doesn’t he know about John?? 👀

Someone? Please? Please??

Reblogged tryingtimes22

bluebeardsbride-archive

Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman as Holmes and Watson in BBC’s Sherlock

is it normal to literally not be able to tell if your heart is too fast for what you're doing or not??

#This is a genuine question btw #Because I've told people “it's slow now” and been told its still 120 #I've thought it was pounding and fast and got told it's within the normal range #I have literally lost the ability to tell in the space of two days

Reblogged kingkit7734

what-even-is-thiss

Sometimes on the internet people will throw an abbreviation at you as if you’re supposed to know what it means and you’ll try to find out what it means but no matter what you do on any search engine all that comes up is some kind of dental supplies logistics company in Malaysia or something

Reblogged

Silly Game Time: Coming up with a fitting name for an original character is one of the trickiest parts of character creation. Yet I think it's also one of the most fun challenges! So what do you think would be a good name for a character associated with light?

This could be based on literally anything, including just vibes. But ideas could come from mythology (gods and spirits and heroes and monsters from different cultures). Or history (figures who famously studied or thought about the sun, stars, etc.). Or media (many different stories, games, and movies have characters, classes, and species who are connected with light, etc.). Or simple word association derivatives (for example, "light" could lead to "brilliant" which could render Brill, Briant, Rilli, Rillian, Liant, etc.).

thedogbard answered:

Apricity

#It means the warmth of the sun on a winter's day so it's..kinda relevant?

NEW WORD! I LEARNED A NEW WORD!

GIF by every-block-board

NEW WORD ALERT!

I'M CHAIR-DANCINGGGG

#I have an “emotional dictionary” by susie dent and it has all these cool words in it

Reblogged kingkit7734

catastrophic-blues7 asked:

TOP FIVE

1. Moots

2. Fics (yours)

3. Fics (not yours)

4. Favourite colours

5. Countries you'd like to visit

6. Taylor Swift songs

7. Artists you'd write a song for

8. People you'd be stranded in an island with

9. Animals you'd be born as

thedogbard answered:

you, @the-archivist-system @imagine-my-url-is-amazing @cecil-speaks ALL OF THEM I CAN'T CHOOSEEE😭

Nothing Like This, Lost The One Real Thing You've Ever Known, Braved A Hundred Storms, Just Like All Those Times Before, Does It Feel Alright To Not Know Me

Seven Devils by sunder_soul, A Light In The Fog by turtle-wexler, He Said, She Says by mooncactus, A Good Heart by englandsgray, To Be Continued by szynka2496

dark blue, dark green, burgundy, black, dark pink

Sri Lanka, Canada, Scotland, Poland, IRELANDDD

Getaway Car, Haunted, my tears ricochet, This Love TV, Fearless TV

Taylor Swift, Roxette, Gavin James, P!NK, Enya

You, my friend, my mum, @the-archivist-system @kingkit7734

dog, seagull, a squirrel, a connemara pony, a rabbit

#Being left on an island with me could be hazardous to your health #<-being on an island with my friend is hazardous to EVERYONE'S health #<- Ah I see you're trying to kill us all *nods sagely*#<- well I'd love to see an epic showdown between you and her😭🙃#<- The feral creature endorses this #<- no offence but I think my friend will emerge victorious🙃#She's a tiny yoga loving cosmic spirit who swears like a trooper #<- Suuurrrreeee bud suuurrrrrreeeeeee #<- yeah now I definitely think she'll win😌#Because she should NEVER be underestimated #And people have unfortunately found this out the hard way😭#However I look forward to the showdown and will provide snacks equally to both🙃

Reblogged kingkit7734

catastrophic-blues7 asked:

TOP FIVE

1. Moots

2. Fics (yours)

3. Fics (not yours)

4. Favourite colours

5. Countries you'd like to visit

6. Taylor Swift songs

7. Artists you'd write a song for

8. People you'd be stranded in an island with

9. Animals you'd be born as

thedogbard answered:

you, @the-archivist-system @imagine-my-url-is-amazing @cecil-speaks ALL OF THEM I CAN'T CHOOSEEE😭

Nothing Like This, Lost The One Real Thing You've Ever Known, Braved A Hundred Storms, Just Like All Those Times Before, Does It Feel Alright To Not Know Me

Seven Devils by sunder_soul, A Light In The Fog by turtle-wexler, He Said, She Says by mooncactus, A Good Heart by englandsgray, To Be Continued by szynka2496

dark blue, dark green, burgundy, black, dark pink

Sri Lanka, Canada, Scotland, Poland, IRELANDDD

Getaway Car, Haunted, my tears ricochet, This Love TV, Fearless TV

Taylor Swift, Roxette, Gavin James, P!NK, Enya

You, my friend, my mum, @the-archivist-system @kingkit7734

dog, seagull, a squirrel, a connemara pony, a rabbit

#Being left on an island with me could be hazardous to your health #<-being on an island with my friend is hazardous to EVERYONE'S health #<- Ah I see you're trying to kill us all *nods sagely*#<- well I'd love to see an epic showdown between you and her😭🙃#<- The feral creature endorses this #<- no offence but I think my friend will emerge victorious🙃#She's a tiny yoga loving cosmic spirit who swears like a trooper

Reblogged

catastrophic-blues7 asked:

TOP FIVE

1. Moots

2. Fics (yours)

3. Fics (not yours)

4. Favourite colours

5. Countries you'd like to visit

6. Taylor Swift songs

7. Artists you'd write a song for

8. People you'd be stranded in an island with

9. Animals you'd be born as

thedogbard answered:

you, @the-archivist-system @imagine-my-url-is-amazing @cecil-speaks ALL OF THEM I CAN'T CHOOSEEE😭

Nothing Like This, Lost The One Real Thing You've Ever Known, Braved A Hundred Storms, Just Like All Those Times Before, Does It Feel Alright To Not Know Me

Seven Devils by sunder_soul, A Light In The Fog by turtle-wexler, He Said, She Says by mooncactus, A Good Heart by englandsgray, To Be Continued by szynka2496

dark blue, dark green, burgundy, black, dark pink

Sri Lanka, Canada, Scotland, Poland, IRELANDDD

Getaway Car, Haunted, my tears ricochet, This Love TV, Fearless TV

Taylor Swift, Roxette, Gavin James, P!NK, Enya

You, my friend, my mum, @the-archivist-system @kingkit7734

dog, seagull, a squirrel, a connemara pony, a rabbit

catastrophic-blues7

WHEN A FRIEND SAYS THEY WANNA VISIT YOUR COUNTRY SO YOU'RE LIKE

GIF by hellskitchenswhore

I'M LAUGHINGGG

Silly Game Time: TWIST THAT TROPE! "The Fay (or Fairies) are real, but the twist is ___."

(Every story is made of tropes, just like how every sentence is made of words. Still, some tropes can feel a bit overused if a storyteller doesn't do something different with them. What do you think could be an interesting variation to this trope? It doesn't need to be elaborate or surprising or original, just something that might appeal to you personally.)

the "bad" ones are really the good ones

Silly Game Time: Coming up with a fitting name for an original character is one of the trickiest parts of character creation. Yet I think it's also one of the most fun challenges! So what do you think would be a good name for a character associated with light?

This could be based on literally anything, including just vibes. But ideas could come from mythology (gods and spirits and heroes and monsters from different cultures). Or history (figures who famously studied or thought about the sun, stars, etc.). Or media (many different stories, games, and movies have characters, classes, and species who are connected with light, etc.). Or simple word association derivatives (for example, "light" could lead to "brilliant" which could render Brill, Briant, Rilli, Rillian, Liant, etc.).

Apricity

#It means the warmth of the sun on a winter's day so it's..kinda relevant?#It's also a character in SP😭