Framing Devices #007
I remember the first time I saw a “sex toy” — in actuality, it was a sex-adjacent object — I was 10 years old rifling through the drawers of my mother's bedside table when I found a set of black-sequinned heart-shaped nipple tassels.
I immediately stopped searching for whatever it was that I was looking for and took them to my mother. I lifted my hands to her eyes, baring the treasure gently on my palms, and asked, “What are these for?” My mother, being the sex positive person I know her (now) to be, responded simply, “Those are nipple covers, my friend”
Why would you want to cover your nipples with these? They seem impractical. Wouldn’t a bra be easier? Does my mum just wear these sometimes so she can be topless?
These were the immediate thoughts that came to my mind, but eventually I retorted with one question, “Is this for sex?” “Yes, my dear, your dad likes them”, she followed this by poking out her tongue. “Eughhh” was the only thing that came out of my mouth before I ran back to her room to put them away.
She still owns them to this day, and upon reflection, I can confidently say she has great taste in nipple covers.
Since then, I have had the pleasure (pun intended) of administering pulsing vibrations to partners, having sex toys presented to me by others, and enjoying the pinnacle of human engineering upon myself.
I bought my first vibrator when I was 18. My boyfriend at the time said it could be fun, and it was with him, but I couldn’t even approach this bright pink silicone bullet. The first time I turned it on, I was mortified by how loud this tiny machine was. Every time I attempted to get off, I was paralysed with the fear of being caught. To my ears, this device sounded like a monstrous construction site. Jack Hammers, Saws, and drills — a symphony of men at work — not the subtle wank I was hoping for.
I threw it out, placing it deep in my family trash can — underneath a heap of food waste — so that no one would know that I, Luckk Parker, was now a sex pest.
When I moved to college, suddenly everyone around me was talking about sex; it was all-consuming to these fresh high school graduates. Somehow, amid all these conversations around sex, I had become a wise old crone. I was taking my newfound friends to their first sex shop and guiding them on which products would suit their particular needs — I was the most knowledgeable person when it came to getting off with a partner (having a long-term boyfriend granted me such a title).
I would receive text messages telling me, “So I tried that thing we were talking about and it actually worked!” Even though I wasn’t getting any — being in an exclusive long distance relationship fml — I was helping my girlfriends reach their first O.
I think this was when the shame I had built around sex started to fade into obscurity.
-- Luckk