Believed
I convinced myself for way too long,
perhaps hopeful, perhaps wrong.
But finally it felt distinctly clear
that me, myself and I,
convinced no more,
that love was not to be believed.
And then that dark and truthful day,
it dawned on me,
that perhaps I was indeed mistakenly wrong,
That actually, it is love
that did not believe in me.
10.5.26
Love letter for M
There was a time before you and the after.
The space between time and time
a blur of emotional responses
completely out of my sane control.
M you were the one that was meant to be
like indelible ink on a page of
a love story that never ends
But now lives its own journey on and on.
Two hearts that collided, bleeding as they said goodbye.
M it wouldn’t do us justice to never have loved.
To not have all the pain forever
but I still wouldn’t trade those seven years to have nothing at all.
So many years you still dominate my mind, my heart, my sadness and joy.
Some days, M thoughts pop into my mind, reminders, memories, places.
Some days I frantically search the internet like a lost soul looking for updates of your life
Stalker vibes hidden away behind a screen
M when I made a decision for a clean break
my heart broke even more than before.
Shattered into pieces in a strange land
far away where no one could see.
There’s been loves after you M.
There’s been joy.
Flickers of hope and possibilities.
But my dear M, they have never been the same.
You remain and you always will,
and it’s ok, I guess M, because it meant it was
Real
True
Love
And I’ll be forever beholden with those seven years with you,
that meant I haven’t lost the experience of being loved and to love immensely
Thank you M.
Forevermore.
1.11.25
Lost souls
Does one decide not to
open up ones heart
Does one open up to the connection,
or do we run.
Open up and potentially fail.
But to have love or give love,
surely isn’t a fail anyways
Do you sit and flourish in the beauty
or does one sit in the shadows of a broken soul,
always.
What if he’s the person.
What if he’s looking for you,
and you are at peace with all of him.
Should we embrace the possibility
come what may.
Or should we retract back into
the safety of solitude
a safe place that we have constructed
to avoid at all cost, pain.
What if when you look into his eyes
he’s willing you to say yes.
What if two lost souls,
find each other.
1.1.25