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On my 72nd (and final) airplane flight of the year. A personal record I'd prefer never to beat.

My superlatives:

Best airport: Indianapolis, now and forever

Best lounge: Delta One Lounge at JFK

Worst airport: LAX

Most Improved: La Guardia

Best Speckled Floors: Miami, an otherwise awful airport, has fake fossils embedded in the floor. I like little reminders that we are always walking upon ancient life.

Most overrated enterprise: Chasing status at airlines that don't actually care about you even though you, in your humanness, can't help but anthropomorphize Delta.

Worst airline: Frontier and Spirit are in a terrible, terrible tie.

Best drink: The single biggest surprise of 2025 for me was an Old Fashioned I had at TGI Friday's in the Atlanta airport. I expected it to be oversweet and stuffed with fruit, but it was perfect--spirit-forward, slightly sweet, and a perfect orange peel.

Best chapel: All airport chapels are great, but I like the one in Minneapolis a lot.

Best bookstore: Barbara's in O'Hare, and I'm not just saying that because they stocked Everything Is Tuberculosis longer than most airport bookstores.

Worst plane snack: Mixed nuts but it's all goddamned almonds.

Best plane snack: Biscoff cookies remain undefeated.

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