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#Batmobile

#alfred pennyworth#batman and robin#dc comics#batman comics#justice league#comic panels
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Bruce: we will continue to utilize the Batmobile, of course. But we needed an upgrade and we got one. Introducing-
Bruce [pause-for-dramatic-effect Wayne]: the Bat-tank
Dick:
Jason:
Tim:
Steph:
Cass:
Damian:
Duke: fine, I'll say it- that's just an armored minivan
Bruce: what? It's not-
Jason: It has sliding doors
Bruce: for efficiency and convenience-
Dick: i think it's neat! But... yeah, not really a tank
Steph: very spacious, yet very compact, very on brand for a mom with 6-9 kids
Bruce: it has all of the features and capabilities of the Batmobile-
Damian: Father, I for one admire your priority, practicality is far more important than being fashionable.
Bruce: i, wha- It very clearly has lasers and it's bullet-proof! How is that unfashionabl- I know my brand!
Tim: aww, enough cup holders for the whole family, very thoughtful, Bruce
Bruce: The Bat-tank WILL strike fear into the enemies of Gotham!
Jason: our enemies will see us speeding at 700mph and assume you're late to your kid's soccer game
Bruce: Okay! Okay, so we needed a family car, but this isn't-
Cass: Recital
Bruce: *gasp* OH, we're going to be late for Cass's dance recital, everyone in the van!
Dick: I thought it was a tank-
Bruce, glaring: Cass gets shotgun since she's the only one who respects the Bat-tank!
Cass: yes... very scary *pats Bruce's arm affectionately*
Bruce: Hurry up, everyone! Duke, the backseats unfold if you press the button underneath-
Duke: yeah I know how minivans work
Bruce: It's not-
Bruce:
Bruce: oh no.
Dick: there's the moment of realization we were waiting for
Bruce, whispering: It IS a minivan.
Tim: can we go to Bat Burger after this?
Damian: Seconded
Jason: yes thank fuck I'm starving
Dick: Language! Here, little D, you can sit by me
Steph: ugh, why do I have to sit in the middle?
Duke: this thing comes with chargers, right, Bruce?
Bruce: I'm... I'm a minivan mom.
Cass, smiling: Our minivan mom
#tim drake#batfam#batfam headcanons#dick grayson#batman#jason todd#damian wayne#bruce wayne#batfamily#red robin#duke thomas#cassandra cain#stephanie brown#batmobile#and then Bruce continues to have a mid life crisis and has to learn to accept this is who he is now
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bruce lets clark drive the batmobile one day and clark thinks it's exhilarating and awesome, so delighted to have batman's trust with his precious car and also just plain happy that he gets to drive a car that's so damn cool.

bruce watches with a fond smile from the passenger seat, taking in the elation and pure happiness on clark's face; the furrow in his brow when he takes a hard turn; the concentration in his eyes as he shifts gears; the delighted little noise he makes when he revs the engine—it's quite the sight.

then he makes clark pull over to have absolutely filthy car sex.

#superbat#batman#superman#bruce wayne#clark kent#bruce says “pull over” and clark thinks he's in trouble#but bruce just flips the center console out of the way and climbs over to the driver's seat#writeboardd#batmobile
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Danny meets JL Members #2

Danny: So… you’re the Batman? Batman: Correct. Danny: Cool, cool. Heard a lot about you. Big fan of your whole brooding aesthetic. Very goth. Batman: …I’m not goth. Danny: Yeah, sure. Says the guy standing on a gargoyle in the rain.

Batman: Who are you? Danny: Danny Phantom. Half-ghost superhero. Batman: Ghosts don’t exist. Danny: Says the guy who dresses like a bat to fight a clown.

[Danny in the Batcave]

Danny: Dude, your cave is so cool! You’ve got, like, all the gadgets and a freaking dinosaur?! Tim: It’s a T-rex, actually. Danny: Okay, but why? Batman: It’s a trophy. Danny: Sure. And I’m the king of the Ghost Zone.

[Group Chat: “BatFam + Phantom”]

Jason: Who let the glowstick in here? Danny: Wow, you must be fun at parties. Dick: Ignore him. Welcome to the chaos, Danny! Danny: Thanks! Btw, do you guys have a “no ectoplasm on the Batmobile” rule? Asking for a friend. Tim: [frantically typing] Ectoplasm is corrosive?!

Damian: Why is there a child with ghost powers in Father’s city? Danny: Why is there a child running around with swords in Gotham? Damian: … Dick: He’s got a point.

[Batman observing Danny fighting a ghost]

Batman: [Batarang passes through the ghost] … Danny: Yeah, no. Ghosts aren’t a “punchy” kind of problem. Batman: I adapt. Danny: Okay, but adapt faster, Bat-Dad.

[at the manor]

Alfred: Master Wayne, the half-ghost boy is currently floating through the kitchen walls. Batman: …And? Alfred: He’s helping himself to a sandwich. Should I prepare another plate? Batman: Just keep him out of the wine cellar.

#danny phantom#dps fandom#ghost king danny#danny fenton#danny is a little shit#damian wayne#bruce wayne#dc x dp crossover#dick grayson#batfam#tim drake wayne#alfred pennyworth#sassy danny#damian al ghul#batfam groupchat#batman#batcave#batmobile#danny likes causing problems
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I always have to smile at myself when I read a fanfic in which Bruce immediately catches Jason after he hits with his tire iron.

I get why fanfic writers do it, so they can move the plot along without having to write the chase after Jason or the scene when they do talk in the condemned building that Jason sleeps in. I get it.

But I always have to think about canon then.

Because not only did Jason manage to run away from Batman.

He also called him a 'big boob'.

I repeat. He gets caught jacking the tires. Tries to deny it. Hits Batman with a tire iron, runs away and insults him.

This 12-year old did something that every rogue would never even dream of.

#dc#dc comics#dc fanfic#fanfiction#batman#batfam#batman comics#jason todd#batmobile#batfamily#batdad#the batman#jason peter todd#robin!jason#robin#robin ii#comics#comic#detective comics