#Anya Yaps

Thinking about how Ryland and Simon handle alcohol and honestly I can see them handling it about the same and pretty average.

Imo both have experience drinking like. Ungodly amounts. Grace when he was an undergrad (he had to stop to lock in proper for his Master’s and Doctorate programs) and Simon just whenever he and his Brothers could find the alcohol to get fucked up on.

I also like to imagine that Martian culture, being very communal in my mind, had a big bar/pub culture. Like it was the only other place people hung out at that wasn’t Church

So Ryland and Simon could drink together and pretty much get fucked up at the same rate

The catch is tho is that Ryland has an uncanny ability to sober up like immediately. Ask him a question or get him to lock in and he is no longer drunk like AT ALL. Simon, however, has tried drunkenly fixing an electrical system or flying a small spacecraft and it went about as well as you’d expect but his “fuck it we ball” mentality gets dialed up to 11 when he’s fucked up and somehow his stupid insane luck also goes with it so he’s, incredibly, never gotten himself or others killed.

Conversely tho, Simon never gets hungover. He could get fucked up enough to have a blood alcohol level to be frightening and wake up the next morning perfectly fine. Refreshed, even

Ryland, however, feels like there’s an axe splitting his head in half and he’s the most miserable, pathetic creature you ever laid your eyes on because his hangovers hit him and hit him like a truck

Patrick 100%,, like he's such a compelling character? (in the book moreso than in the movie imo) get me another guy who cooks a jellyfish, i'll wait. no but in the book, when he goes on and on how he doesn't feel like a person and how he doesn't feel he's there and all that- i felt that! felt the same things. i think bc of those human things a lot of ppl can relate to him somewhat? at least on that psychological level. but also he's funny? name me another guy who has a 300 step skincare routine, and directs his own porn movies. obviously fuck him for maybe murdering those people, slurs, and being a genuine menace to society but gooood does he make a compelling character.

uhh but also evelyn!! i love a blonde girl, like it's my nauture, i'll always love a blonde girl. make her bitchy and i'll love her even more. but i also love her in relation to patrick (bc we really don't get a lot of her) and their weird relationship. and also while we're on that, the only women he dates (sans jean) are women he's a little bit,, not scared, but like idk weirdly afraid of? or not afraid but there's deffinetly some complex feelings involved. in the book he fucking almost has a heart attack when meeting up with an ex,(he's mentiones how he always wants her aproval i think? maybe i'm making that up i don't remeber, but then he publicly embarasses her to get that power back) and he never seems to kill evelyn despite her always getting up on his nerves. and also the same thing happens to evelyn, he embarasses her (in a less obvious to everyone way)and then breaks up with her and then she makes a scene. it's the women he doesn't date that get fucked most of the times, courtney, jeanette (yo don't let me get strated on jeanette) other women in the book. omg this getting entirely too long haha sorry

I keep rotating Game!Simon x Book!Grace in my brain and I thought of that stupid audio because Book!Grace 1000% has no insecurity or fear about being interested in Game!Simon the way movie Grace would like

Game!Simon, signing: “it’s nice to be here on Erid with you, Grace. I’m so grateful to you and Rocky.”

Book!Grace:

Book!Grace: …I want you…

Game!Simon: ???? “Wh—Wha—?”

Ryland is not the eternal sunshine and rainbows optimist and Simon is not the grouchy doom and gloom pessimist.

Ryland is passive at best. The only time we ever see him hopeful or optimistic is in regards to his kids (which again, reinforces the idea that he HAS been brave, that he fully understands what Yao means by “finding someone to be brave for”). But Ryland is not an optimist.

He realizes he’s been sent into space and goes on a bender to try and cope. He immediately assumes that the Blip-A is something he needs to get away from. He then proceeds to assume that the Blip-A is throwing a bomb at him. He tries making a joke about centrifuges and butter and the thought dies halfway through and he’s retreating in on himself and banging his head against the door frame.

Ryland is optimistic about other people but he himself is not an optimist. He’s passively optimistic that others will figure it all out and in the book I’d argue he’s more practical than anything else.

Simon, by contrast, is the optimistic one.

“What’s more likely? That all the stars and planets vanished or that a handful of stations did? If it happened before, can’t it happen again?”

It’s the fact that despite ALL evidence to the contrary, Simon still believes Ava and the COI will uphold their end of the deal and grant him his freedom. It’s his unwavering belief that he is going to survive this situation. Even in the end, he still believes that the black box will get to the surface, that his sacrifice will have meant something.

Simon, unlike Grace, is not optimistic about people (in fact he’s probably quite pessimistic, see “they abandoned me just like they abandoned you”) but he is optimistic about his own abilities and in his ability to force others to see his inherent value.

All this to say that if we’re going to put “Rewrite the Stars” to these two, Simon is absolutely the one trying to convince Ryland that they should be together, that it’s fate that they’ve met. Meanwhile, Ryland is the one convinced that anything between the two of them is doomed before it’s ever had a chance to live.

The way the only thing I have to offer Reverse AU rn (other than one particular doodle I might post) is my ideas for Reverse!Simon’s equivalent of Grace’s goofy shirts.

And like I know the consensus seems to be plant pun shirts, which I am all for but also…all I can picture is the kind of shit you get from Spencer’s…….

Every day Reverse!Ava regrets sending Reverse!Simon on that suicide mission

But god DAMN does she not miss his stupid ass shirts

I am such a firm believer that Simon, at his baseline, is a massive fucking goofball.

Maybe it’s taking too much inspiration from Mark himself but I don’t care, I firmly believe that Simon’s baseline outside of a life or death situation is witty and goofy and, dare I say, charismatic.

He makes jokes, sometimes at inappropriate times just because it’d be funny to do so and piss someone off. He’s not oblivious to how he looks and he uses it FULLY to his advantage. He’s playful and teasing and enjoys making Ryland flustered or playing “Devil’s advocate” for a point he doesn’t actually believe in just because it’s funny watching Rocky get so heated at him.

And speaking of him and Rocky, my GOD the menaces these two would be together. They’re absolutely the best of friends but those kinds of friends that you know something is going to either explode, catch fire or someone will end up in the hospital every time they hang out but it’s always worth it.

If Ryland left him to make his own entries for the Beetles it would feel like Mark’s “reviewing every flashlight” or “Amazon self-defense items” or “Del Monte is dead to me” videos because Simon just thinks it’d be funny to send some random, goofy ass shit back to Earth.

It’s Ryland doing all the important stuff, after all, Simon figures. He’s just fucking around because Ryland was so adamant Simon should be able to make his own videos like Rocky got to because he’s part of the crew and, well, who is Simon to say no to his angel like that?

Poor Eva ends up having to sort through video footage from a man she does NOT remember sending up into space rambling at her about how:

“You know I didn’t actually like canned corn, the corn water was too sweet, I always preferred cracking open a can of green beans and just adding some salt and pepper and eating that by the way I found some sunglasses and a bigass fucking flashlight that might actually pass for a small star, Rocky and I are gonna see how bright we can get it before I possibly blind myself but don’t tell Ryland he’ll just worry but it’s fine I’m doing my own science experiments, it’s fine—”

Thinking about Bloodymary music taste preferences, let’s go:

I feel like Simon really likes folk music. I imagine a lot of Mars’ music was very much folk inspired and it’s a lot of the music and songs his mom would sing and perform. I also think Simon also really loves music that tells a story, other than just describing a general vibe. Otherwise I feel like he’d actually really like jazz and a lot of crooner kind of music like Frank Sinatra or Nat King Cole or Tony Bennett. He’s also fond of classical music as well, though he normally puts that on when he and Rocky are working together (I don’t know why, I just feel like Eridians would latch onto human classical music)

He does love Queen tho, sorry, I don’t make the rules. (And Sleep Token. Mainly because I associate SO MANY Sleep Token songs with Simon)

Grace, by contrast, is 1000% a White Girl Pop lover. Biggest Sabrina Carpenter fan ever, he’s so proud of the fact he managed to go to one of her concerts before getting sent to space. Has the asexual experience of having a playlist that has songs like “WAP” by Cardi B, “CPR” by CupcakKe or like literally anything by Ayesha Erotica on it. He’s also into Mitski and Lana Del Rey but those are kind of specifically his “music to cry in his car to” when he’s going THROUGH it.

The two of them both love Florence and the Machine and Hozier too.

These two are also (dipping into my Cozy AU a tad) big collectors of vinyls. They both had pretty impressive collections on their own and when they got together and moved in together it took a little bit for them to get the space to display all of their vinyl

Simon ended up building some storage/shelving for them along with a nicer display for their absolute top favorite albums. Grace 100% watched him do this and fell even harder for this man (who doesn’t love a man who’ll just build you something??)

I’ve mentioned this on Discord but I’m mentioning it again here:

Service Top Simon x Pillow Princess Ryland

Walk with me (or don’t, I’m not your dad).

NSFW adjacent talk (nothing explicit) under the read more