Imagine a dragon at Antiques Roadshow, appraising its hoard
Imagine the dragon hoards monetarily worthless things like newspapers or old bones and the person appraising it getting more and more nervous about telling the dragon their stuff isnt worth anything
Imagine that the dragon knows this and just likes watching the person squirm.
The dragon actually hoards uncomfortable situations
How to logically, effectively and respectfully handwave a world's language if I don't wanna deal with conlang since it isn't relevant to the story being told?
"I found the original text through a series of convoluted but presently irrelevant adventures and have painstakingly translated it from its original highly complex language and localized the idioms to modern english. no need to thank me."
I think 90% of conspiracy theorists would be a lot happier if they just bit the bullet and got into creative writing
it's so fun in here you can make up all the aliens and funky-shaped planets you want without also inventing new ways to be antisemitic about it
Really obsessed with this exchange
Me: (explaining my various medications) This is to help me fall asleep. This one makes it easier to wake up. This one is so nobody kills me. And this one is so I don't kill myself. (continuing) This one is for my anemia. And this one is in case I have a migraine flareup. And THIS one (picks it up) is a cyanide capsule, just in case. (laughs,) I'm kidding. just a little pill humor for you. (puts it back) it's actually a jellybean
sorry i missed the gala of suitors i was outside picking on the weird girl in the garden tending to weird looking plants. yeah she had a little shack with a cauldron back there it was gross. anyways she gave me something to drink and now im madly in love with her so we need to start planning a wedding or whatever
Sorry I missed the crones' union meeting. The fuckingg princess showed up??? She wouldn't leave until I gave her a dr pepper. She got this really weird look in her eyes drinking it. I guess shes only used to beverages with 22 or fewer flavors
oooohh the love potion worked i cant believe you gave me a love potion im so in love its so effective lets make out
gate agent said “infants under 2 now welcome to board” and then after a pause said “but please bring your parents with you” and i’m so sleep deprived i can’t stop giggling
we justifiably give Biden a lot of shit but I think "at least 3" is the funniest possible response to some right wing dipshit asking you how many genders there are
wait it gets better
i do think that being aroace in such an amatonormative and allonormative society is the closest i'll ever be to living plato's allegory of the cave in real life. there's a whole beautiful world out here but every so often i'll encounter someone who thinks of romance as the end all be all and that life would be boring without romance or sex and that sex comes with romance because it's somehow a natural progression of things because romance and sex are basically the same thing and that sex without romance is predatory because of this and that nobody could be happy single ever because arent you supposed to base your whole life around one person? and i'm like ohhhhhh you're still in the cave. you're still looking at the shadows on the wall. i see now
the old "all trans people I know are mentally ill to some degree even if I don't believe being trans is itself a mental illness" line is a classic case of torturing you to insanity then torturing you for being insane
like do you have any idea how rude people are about all of this of course I'm insane
Action movie that takes a hardline "murder is always wrong" stance, but still has the protagonist kill a ton of dudes, taking great care to establish that each killing adheres to the specific legal definition of self-defence in the particular jurisdiction in which it notionally occurs. There's caselaw citations in the subtitles.
At one point the hero commits what seems like an open-and-shut case of unprovoked murder, and the citations start scrolling up until they fill the entire screen.
hate when people say something along the lines of "we must get along so well because you are/i am [some astrological sign]" to me. what are you fucking talking about. we get along because im fucking nice. a decision which i regret when you say shit like that
this post is a good rent lowering gunshot. in case anyone needs one of those
