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Seagull The SeaWing

@seagulltheseawing / seagulltheseawing.tumblr.com

he/him | 18 | icon by whackwing | discord - https://discord.gg/drt6pqwg3n | strawpage - https://heavenpierxcer.straw.page/ | i have bpd sorry if you have to put up with my extremes

i often feel i may never fit in anywhere because i don’t know how to be nice without being afraid, i don’t know how to say something relevant or funny that isn’t just random or doesn’t make sense, and i don’t let myself be any of that because im scared the minute someone tries anything with me, i will be nothing, i will be tossed to the side yet again. I can’t let my self appreciate people too much, i can’t enjoy anyone’s creative work nor interact with it even if i do think it’s good because then it means im letting them into my head and into my thoughts and they’re going to hurt me. i hate how just to protect my self, id rather be some deadpanned zombie because underneath it all, i do secretly want that connection no matter how much i push people away, and i wish i could get along with people or join in on conversations without getting agitated at everyone, but i just don’t know how. It’s not that simple. It’s automatic for me to refuse to appreciate anything without feeling agitated or numb because it genuinely feels like i’m exposing my self too much. And if i do it’s rarely. I never learnt that it was okay to just be vulnerable and cry or something, all i was taught was to just be angry and that’s all i know how to do and now it’s ruining everything in my life

Anonymous asked:

i would like to compliment your art because its very tasty art

it tastes like those sour blue raspberry candies mmm delicious

- SEAGULL -

I love this dude's design so much, he's so cool.

Obsessed with the concept of more land-based Seawings looking spinosaurus-y. Need more of that tbh

*Edit: me when I keep forgetting seawings' FUCKIGN barbels

all it takes is one little thing to set me off i’m genuinely so done man here we go again with another bullshit post that will have people go behind my back about how i ‘shouldn’t make posts like this’ jsut leave me alone i just can’t take it anymore

no matter what i do ill never amount to anything ill never be good enough nothing i fucking do matters every bit of time i get means so much to me but is simply just another day passing for everyone else i hate you so much you don’t even have to do anything for people to love you i try everything and it’s just not the same, i try to talk to people and it’s just the fucking same thing over and over again every day

why do people even care anymore like genuinely why please just prove to me that you think i am nothing i am nothing i will never be or mean anything sometimes people are just unlucky to be the meaningless one in life and i am one of them. every relationship i have with people is nothing beyond them hoping i stay alive but I don’t want to be alive if i don’t have a reason to i don’t i need to know if i matter but i can never tell because it’s easier for someone to just say “yea you matter” but why. why do i matter, what the fuck makes me matter, what’s the reason why why shouldn’t i just kill my self here and now i can’t jsut

sometimes i wonder if people avoid me or are ashamed to be affiliated with me