WARNING 18+

not to make a vent post here but like id understand if it was halo top or friendlys but if im bringing you hagen daaz or ben and jerrys and you still complain about how my basement isnt ventilated well or your chain is too tight then you just sound ungrateful. sorry

Finally meeting someone that jacks off to the same shit as you

some of you need to stop psychoanalising your kinks and start doing mad scientist shit to them instead.

no more "do I enjoy being tied up because I secretly crave an excuse not to fight back against intimacy because of my mother", that is dumb and useless.

start doing shit like "what do I like about being tied up? what part of it gets me going?" and then once you have isolated the components of the kink that are the main drivers, look for all the other kinks that contain them. mix and match. get creative. experiment.

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

being turned on makes me kinda stupid, you should take advantage of that

medical play and they have two gloved fingers knuckle deep inside you with their other hand pressing down on your abdomen, telling you “you’re going to feel some pressure”, “deep breaths for me”, and “you’re doing great” when you start to soak the paper beneath you. or something

older man that casually calls u kid, kiddo, etc. ugh. life is so unfair.

collar with a tag that says NEEDS CLEAR STRAIGHTFORWARD COMMUNICATION OR STRUGGLES TO UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON

Reminder: if your partner safewords for any reason, first you stop, and then you thank them. You ask if they are okay, and you let them know they did a good job.

I wrote this after someone replied, "why?" to a safeword, by the way. Don't do that.

Just adding here: "why" immediately post scene can put someone in a position of feeling that they need to defend the use of their safeword

Scene bottoms in general but especially subs should instead be rewarded for their excellent communication and consent work.

It was probably hard for them to safeword. If you are a good Dom, they likely trust you, and pushed themselves harder than they may have otherwise due to that trust. Reward it with praise. "That was great, you did so well, thank you for telling me." This is positive reinforcement while they are still likely in scene headspace.

Do not make them feel the need to defend themselves, even accidentally. They should only ever feel that safewording was the correct course of action.