one thing about americans is that they know how to make a fucking milkshake

i hate the stupid milk consistency shit you get here like if you give me a milkshake it better be rock fucking solid. i want that thang thick like concrete. it should piss me off trying to drink it through a straw. i should have to wait for it to thaw

Americans are so good at making Beverage. One of our Foundational Moments was actually a party involving Making Beverage. Google "Boston Tea Party" for more

Claiming Homer was stanning women's rights is just as fucking dumb as claiming Jesus was a socialist.

Literal low iq take.

Spicy takes in the simpsons deep lore.

average day in 2026

What do they even use this machine for in Bikini Bottom?

Agriculture? Harvesting kelp and shredding it into more manageable portions?

If you think USSR was in any way, shape or form a net good, you have just not read up enough on it. Or listened to those, that lived under the regime as adults.

Cite your claim then. Provide sources since you know so much

I was born there and my parents, grandparents and all other relatives lived through it.

Bitch a massive lake nearly an inland sea is almost completely gone an filled with unimaginable amounts of pollution and over a dozen species are near or are extinct, an entire region is blocked off because of cut corners and horrific mismanagement of a shoddily made nuclear plant, over 40 million starved to death because of forced famine, millions sent to gulags, the entire beginning of WW2 they were allied with the Nazis tell both tried to attack the other for more land, both during and after their alliance with the NAZIS they committed some of the biggest mass rapes on the planet that rivals Nanking, they didn’t have mass production of toilet paper tell the fuckin 80’s, attempting to immigrate anywhere was danm near impossible, I genuinely cannot express just how fuck awful the USSR was how tankie retards don’t understand any of this and simply repeat the traditional commie one liner of “that’s capitalist propaganda” boggles the fuckin mind forget the millions of people recounting these stories, forget the literal fact that you can see that fucked up lake and Chernobyl, forget the fact that nobody was hopping over the Berlin Wall towards the soviets and anyone the soviets saw heading to the west were shot dead and the starvation and destruction being so bad the US literally had to air drop shit to the other side of the Berlin Wall so those people wouldn’t die nah forget all that completely ignore it

There's also the fact that Mongolian script looked like this pre 1945

And the Mongolian government is trying to reinstate this script instead of the Cyrillic script imposed on them by the Soviets.

It's always funny hearing environmentalists blame pollution, climate change, and complete disregard for the environment on capitalism. The Soviet Union gave zero shits what industrialization did to the environment. Heavy machinery never gets the fuel economy of a prius but Soviet equipment was a breakthrough in hybrid technology. It burned gas AND oil.

A cautionary tale about the growing literacy crisis

Many such cases

When boomers see that places are understaffed, they all say "no one wants to work!" When I explain that "no, no one wants to hire" they all get confused and say "but...that doesn't make sense!"

there is a reason this makes sense, in that this situation is created by the conditions of physical reality that cause incentives

it is in fact very important to discover why this makes sense and not to blame the evil of capitalism for it

Specifically, one should note it's not that nobody wants to work, it's that nobody is willing to work FOR THE RATES THE COMPANIES WANT TO PAY.

No, it isn't that simple

For one, companies used to be able to pay rates people wanted. Something happened to change that, they didn't all just decide to do that for no reason. For two, it doesn't explain the regularity with which companies post job positions and never ever fill them. This was not always advantageous to them.

Also worth remembering that the behavior doesn't have to be profitable or effective for the company as a whole, just for the HR department and the other people involved in hiring.

i think it is probably worth looking into the consequences of how company HR departments have basically become malignant entities openly opposed to the well-being of the company and every other person in the company

but that could never ever possibly happen ever and that information cannot possibly ever be obtained and nobody can even form the intent to gain that information and will just flatter themselves instead, so we will never know

Customer support call centers are a good example of the job situation in America.

For a job that barely pays a living wage they say that speaking Spanish is preferred but not required. Then if you don't speak Spanish they pass you over for an applicant that does. I even saw one listing where speaking Spanish was required for $16.50 an hour shut the fuck up.

Meanwhile a call center job that actually requires you to speak fuckin English has been outsourced to India or the Philippines because they'll do the job for $2 an hour.

Just a few years ago you called customer support and in a few rings you were connected to a real American who has the product on his desk, knows how it works, and can help you figure out how to fix your problem. Now you have to wait on the phone for 20 minutes to be connected to someone who can't understand half of what you say, doesn't know how the product works, and just reads troubleshooting suggestions off a computer screen. Fuck the people who live here and fuck the customer. All that matters is that the savings on labor made the corporate quarterly report graph go up and to the right.

And it's all thanks to Dodge vs Ford.

Deport 100 million

I was talking to a buddy a while back. He worked on a 3 man crew. One of the guys had a stroke. The company told the guy to focus on his health and recovery and his job will be waiting for him when he's ready. Picking up the extra slack was really stressful but he was assured it's only temporary until his co-worker was ready to come back.

3 months later it was clear he wasn't going to recover to a point where he could go back to work. The boss decided they were doing just fine with only two people and decided they didn't need to hire a third guy. The other two didn't get a pay raise for their extra hard work but were expected to keep up the extra work.

Every food in the entire country - including dog food - wasn't being recalled every other day when a Latino man was Secretary of Health.

Planes weren't falling out of the sky when a gay man was Secretary of Transportation.

We weren't getting our asses kicked by Iran when a Black man was Secretary of Defense.

White people have complete control of the federal government and everything turned to shit.

~mAsTeR rAcE~, huh?

White white people, or jewish "white" people?

I think you know, and I think you know which category OP falls into too.

If food wasn't being recalled when a latino guy had the position but now it's happening when a white guy was in the position it sounds like the last guy wasn't doing his job.

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

do you think no one else has time travel

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

wow if only you had a time machine

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

:)

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

Imagine how I feel

"The right/wrong side of history" is such a non-argument it drives me up the wall. "Hypothetical people at an untold point in the future agree with me" bro nobody cares. "I've drawn myself as the chad and you as the soyjak"-ass debate tactic. The nazis were going to be hailed as the brave founders of a thousand-year empire. The doctors championing lobotomies in the '40s and '50s proclaimed with their whole chest that they were on the revolutionary cutting edge of mental health treatment. It's a might-makes-right argument with commitment issues that hinges entirely on your side eventually accumulating enough victories to write the textbooks. Defend your premise on its own merits or die.

The thing that always gets me about this is that if you don't believe in God and a final judgment, "history" has no narrative, no end goal, and no winners because in the end everyone is dead. Who cares what side "history" is on in that case?

When I was a kid early American settlers and explorers were viewed as heros that went on adventures and made new friends along the way.

Now the popular history is that they were all racist genocidal maniacs that killed countless people and hurt many more without contributing anything good.

The founding fathers were viewed as courageous men fighting a government that was taxing them blind, giving them no rights, and no representation in the government.

Today pop-history says they were all wealthy privileged racists who had no sense of irony regarding slavery therefore all their complaints with the British government. This doesn't contradict the evils of British colonialism in general though.

Pop-history is viewed in black and white. People were either entirely good or entirely evil depending on the moral code you are trying to push.

Real history is full of nuance, moral grey areas, people who were a mixed bag of good and evil.

Local PD not only terminated but arrested an officer for misuse of police and Flock databases 🤷🏼‍♂️

"tHaT dOeSn't hAPpeN" yeah, sure, and we only hear about the ones who get caught

I'm honestly more shocked that they arrested one of their own.

it's because a number of local citizens have been arrested destroying Flock cameras in increasingly determined ways, with more currently unsolved

pressure relief valve etc