shout out to the old guy who orders egg wraps from my job every day and came in on christmas with a $25 gift card for the two transfems on staff and no one else. the one true ally.

Old Men when that egg wrap hits:

your boyfriend isn't thematically significant

I absorbed my first nutrient at age 26 it’s never too late ya’ll

Aaaaaaaaand You're banished from my realm

old man in the library got a phone call, someone on the other end says loud as fuck “hey pittsburgh phil what are you up to?” and pittsburgh phil responds “i’m in pittsburgh”

How it feels to walk to the bathroom while drunk at a restaurant

Gimme 1 margarita and I saw off my leg!

recently I've been noticing the sun setting earlier than it used to. enshittification?

one billion inch nails: i want to fuck you like one of every animal

Has anyone thought of putting 80s music in a movie