I feel like people struggle to understand that my life as an aorace person is not centered around an absence of relationships. There is no romance shaped void that I am trying to live with, or live around, or which my life's purpose is to fill somehow.

I go to university and I go to work and I volunteer in my community and in the in-between moments I drink tea with my friends and I plant tomatoes on my balcony and there is no need for anything else. There is no room for anything else anyway.

When I am asked how I deal with 'the hole in my life' or what I do with 'all my free time', I know these questions are not about me at all. They are a reflection of the person asking.

Its kind of asking how you cope with the lack of parking spaces when someone doesnt own a car

Ooh I love this analogy because not owning a car does come with problems (at least in the US typically), namely that US infrastructure is so reliant on cars that not owning one means that you deal with other problems, like lack of bike lanes, infrequent public transit, people always assuming you can drive places, etc. Aro/ace people do face problems due to amatonormativity in society, such as inaffordability of places to live alone (because it's assumed you'll live with a roommate until you're a "real adult" and live with a partner and also because of capitalism), lack of ways to meet new people that aren't specifically focused on dating, and people always asking when you'll settle down, aren't you lonely, don't you miss having a partner? as OP talked about.

Like, there are problems that one encounters as a carless person, and there are problems I've encountered as an aroace person. But the problem as a carless person isn't lack of parking spaces and the problem as an aroace person isn't lack of a relationship.

Well I was gonna hit reblog after the oh post, about how you deal with the holes in your life by planting tomatoes in them, but then I read the reblogs and it felt kinda stupid 👉🏼👈🏼

I could've gone to the og post and rbed, but i want the rb in my dash cuz yes!

But I really wanted to joke about the tomatoes :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZOEY!!!

They got her a turtle cake! :P

(It took her several attempts to blow out the candle.)

:D

Don't fuck or you'll die

Pandu from Mahabharat

i REALLY need someone to talk to me about my mdzs fic

Wit me with it!

my sibling in christ i shall warn you however i have extremely uncharitable opinions of most of the charachters besides xianxian and lwj and jyl and the wen siblings and jinling and-

ok i hate non-yanli jiangs, and also jgy and lxc and dont care much for nhs etc

im very controversial sadly

Dwbt, as long as it's not just pure bashing, I'm open to reading almost anything (i can occasionally read bashing fics too if the plot is interesting enough)

So...

I'm listening :)

i REALLY need someone to talk to me about my mdzs fic

Wit me with it!

In my wangxian slice of life fic where wen rouhan died right before cloud reccesses being burned so there was no war there are heavy implications that wen ning murdered wen rouhan how do we feel about that chat

It was later found out that LWJ (or rather LXC while LWJ blushed in the bg) had invited WWX to spend time in CR, which would've coincided with the attack..

Which is why WN dicided to go pick up parricide :)

I kinda honestly do think that the whole Yunmeng bros reconciliation thing is a premise that could only exist within the realm of fanfiction, and of the reasons for why that bridge is quite thoroughly burnt, the whole ‘being one of the two people leading the charge on the Burial Mounds to slaughter all the Wen Remnants,” is definitely a biggie, but to be honest, I get the feeling that any possibility of reconciliation was scuppered even earlier than that, with the killing of Jin Zixuan at Qiongqi Path. Not even because of the rather reasonable possibility that the affected party would never forgive him for it, but because even if that incident didn’t burn the bridge, Wei Wuxian would feel too ashamed to even step foot on the bridge, never mind cross it. There was a whole paragraph of narration about how he’d never cough up the truth about the golden core transfer, because it’d feel like he would be making excuses to dodge accountability. Between that, and the remark he made to Fang Mengchen (very minor character whose parents Wei Wuxian killed at the Nightless City Bloodbath, Book 4, Chapter 82) of “No one’s telling you to forgive me,” I get the impression that Wei Wuxian is the type of person who doesn’t ask forgiveness, because he doesn’t expect to be forgiven. The arc words are after all “Thank you and sorry.” Very explicitly “sorry,” and not “forgive me.”

is musical cultivation theory something non-gusu clans teach? because where did wwx learn the flute stuff, like yeah resentful theory is his own but channeling it? and jc also did that thing with the sword against jgy in guanyin temple i believe. or maybe did gusu teach them? like the su clan practices musical cultivation too, gusu's gripe with them however is only that their scores are derivates of gusu lan's scores, not original. there are scores produced in dongying, too, implying they must practice musical cultivation there. further, music is one of the six arts taught to the gentry so could be possible the theory and public scores are part of a young cultivator's curriculum. (this raises further questions for me if anyone's tried adding cultivation theory to the other six arts. like calligraphy, and archery. interesting thing to ponder on.)

this could be expanded onto NHS being an artistic cultivator...

I mean, maybe not during his teens, but after he begins his double it and return to to San-ge era (or who knows, maybe it's a case of him having developed strong art meridians with all the painting he did even during his teen years, i've read a few fics where non-cultivators have had wide meridians because they were masters of their crafts, so, a little handwaving would do)

which means that he's a good artistic-cultivator

I had the idea of using those japanese war fans for cultivation (this is not an unpopular idea in fandom, its used for even nhs). (although i always thought it would be very funny is nhs was actually secretly one of those cultivators who cultivates via ascetism. like NOTHING could be funnier.) but it like was more so something wwx makes for jyl as a defence mechanism than anything -- basically in a fic i was writing that is an au of sorts where wwx and lwj met a year before the lectures on a random hunt and became penpals and met up twice on birthdays, lwj gave wwx a flute a gift, that became chenqing and also taught wwx musical theory (the fic is something that made me wonder about the curriculum) and songs that even non-lans are allowed, etc. the thing is that i theorise that these instruments can become spiritual through channeling. such as, wwx channeling spiritual music through chenqing makes it spiritual in nature. at one point, in this fic, jc attempted to break chenqing during an argument (this is actually a running gag in my fic; wwx learned to carve flutes because madam yu would often break his flutes depending on her mood. bamboo is easy enough to come by so he just makes a new one every time she does. eventually, jc catches on this habit, not that it matters since he makes a new one lmao. inspired by real life incidents of my parents throwing away my sketchbooks whenever i pissed them off.) and it backlashed on him because spiritual instrument. this incident gave both me, and wwx, the idea to make a sort of fan for jiang yanli that can deflect spiritual energy. it's not really cultivating with a fan or musical it for martial arts, but a defence mechanism. after all, jin zixun with his poor cultivation got his ass 100-holes-cursed. but yeah war fans. oof. i think cultivation with calligraphy might just be talismans lmao. but using painting is interesting -- i read one where nhs uses paint to create illusions which is very nhs of him, his ass would do that. there are meditative art techniques, and meditation is extremely imp for cultivators and their qi. so it would make sense.

i am very fond of the idea of nhs using war fans, in fact, I am using it in the fic i'm working on for the bigbang XD

(Adding the read more cuz it bacame a long post and i want to be able to find stuff in my dash)

tbh it could be very possible these other forms of cultivation exist beyond chinese cultivation society (as mentioned, Donying -- japan -- has produced musical scores). I'm literally considering cracking open the samveda for ideas on musical cultivation in my fic (there's a lot of ideas about music there, and buddhism comes from india as mentioned no reason there can't be any influence. After all, the Lan family name is canonically derived from the sanskrit word for temple. It wouldn't be far fetched if Lan An took more inspiration from sanskrit literature). Like, war fans are an integral part of japanese martial arts -- why would they not have already invented it?

since you are also indian -- i'm assuming based on the JEE comment; also my sympathies, i personally dodged a bullet by taking the humanities but I've seen how my friends who prepared for JEE struggled -- do you wonder if there was an indian cultivation society what it would look like.

hmmmmm, combining Indian culture with cultivation? never have really given it a serious thought, not because that won't work, just that there are a lot of differences to account for.

take animals for example- animals either become spiritual and cultivate their own identity, or they become corrupted and become murder turtles. while in Indian myths, it's more a case of people having animal forms or features. (putting read more again cuz it became long) or becoming cursed to wander around as animals until they meet some conditions

is musical cultivation theory something non-gusu clans teach? because where did wwx learn the flute stuff, like yeah resentful theory is his own but channeling it? and jc also did that thing with the sword against jgy in guanyin temple i believe. or maybe did gusu teach them? like the su clan practices musical cultivation too, gusu's gripe with them however is only that their scores are derivates of gusu lan's scores, not original. there are scores produced in dongying, too, implying they must practice musical cultivation there. further, music is one of the six arts taught to the gentry so could be possible the theory and public scores are part of a young cultivator's curriculum. (this raises further questions for me if anyone's tried adding cultivation theory to the other six arts. like calligraphy, and archery. interesting thing to ponder on.)

this could be expanded onto NHS being an artistic cultivator...

I mean, maybe not during his teens, but after he begins his double it and return to to San-ge era (or who knows, maybe it's a case of him having developed strong art meridians with all the painting he did even during his teen years, i've read a few fics where non-cultivators have had wide meridians because they were masters of their crafts, so, a little handwaving would do)

which means that he's a good artistic-cultivator

I had the idea of using those japanese war fans for cultivation (this is not an unpopular idea in fandom, its used for even nhs). (although i always thought it would be very funny is nhs was actually secretly one of those cultivators who cultivates via ascetism. like NOTHING could be funnier.) but it like was more so something wwx makes for jyl as a defence mechanism than anything -- basically in a fic i was writing that is an au of sorts where wwx and lwj met a year before the lectures on a random hunt and became penpals and met up twice on birthdays, lwj gave wwx a flute a gift, that became chenqing and also taught wwx musical theory (the fic is something that made me wonder about the curriculum) and songs that even non-lans are allowed, etc. the thing is that i theorise that these instruments can become spiritual through channeling. such as, wwx channeling spiritual music through chenqing makes it spiritual in nature. at one point, in this fic, jc attempted to break chenqing during an argument (this is actually a running gag in my fic; wwx learned to carve flutes because madam yu would often break his flutes depending on her mood. bamboo is easy enough to come by so he just makes a new one every time she does. eventually, jc catches on this habit, not that it matters since he makes a new one lmao. inspired by real life incidents of my parents throwing away my sketchbooks whenever i pissed them off.) and it backlashed on him because spiritual instrument. this incident gave both me, and wwx, the idea to make a sort of fan for jiang yanli that can deflect spiritual energy. it's not really cultivating with a fan or musical it for martial arts, but a defence mechanism. after all, jin zixun with his poor cultivation got his ass 100-holes-cursed. but yeah war fans. oof. i think cultivation with calligraphy might just be talismans lmao. but using painting is interesting -- i read one where nhs uses paint to create illusions which is very nhs of him, his ass would do that. there are meditative art techniques, and meditation is extremely imp for cultivators and their qi. so it would make sense.

i am very fond of the idea of nhs using war fans, in fact, I am using it in the fic i'm working on for the bigbang XD

(Adding the read more cuz it bacame a long post and i want to be able to find stuff in my dash)

is musical cultivation theory something non-gusu clans teach? because where did wwx learn the flute stuff, like yeah resentful theory is his own but channeling it? and jc also did that thing with the sword against jgy in guanyin temple i believe. or maybe did gusu teach them? like the su clan practices musical cultivation too, gusu's gripe with them however is only that their scores are derivates of gusu lan's scores, not original. there are scores produced in dongying, too, implying they must practice musical cultivation there. further, music is one of the six arts taught to the gentry so could be possible the theory and public scores are part of a young cultivator's curriculum. (this raises further questions for me if anyone's tried adding cultivation theory to the other six arts. like calligraphy, and archery. interesting thing to ponder on.)

this could be expanded onto NHS being an artistic cultivator...

I mean, maybe not during his teens, but after he begins his double it and return to to San-ge era (or who knows, maybe it's a case of him having developed strong art meridians with all the painting he did even during his teen years, i've read a few fics where non-cultivators have had wide meridians because they were masters of their crafts, so, a little handwaving would do)

which means that he's a good artistic-cultivator