u know what i actually am going to post one of the nice ones too bc this is why i keep anon on. for the nice anons i do sometimes get. i get the comfort of anonymity and i wish people used it to be nice or helpful more than to be raging assholes and it fuckin bums me out that i had to disable anon at my new blog to feel comfortable starting it up. maybe i’ll enable it at some point but. ugh.

anyway

u go anon, you’re a sweetheart and i appreciate you (ps, this is directed also at the other two nice anons and handful of not anons i’m not publishing bc i. am leaving. this blog. and just as i’m not posting all the bs hate anons i don’t feel the need to clog ppls dashes or the last pages of this blog w endless ask replies lmao)

also just. in general. shoutout to all the people who follow me who have been very lovely to me over the years on a regular basis, sorry that some bullshit in my personal life and one or two very devoted assholes ruined it for the rest of us as far as this blog is considered

pls feel free to message me for the new url, i’m not trying to dump all of you who have stuck around and Not been tremendous assholes to me, i just really need a clean start and maybe a blog w a follower count that doesnt make my anxiety spike through the roof to the point where i’m terrified of ever making even the vaguest of personal posts lmao

i keep trying to defend myself and hope that maybe you’ll realise what a ridiculous asshole you’re being and just fuck off already??? i’ve said multiple times that i haven’t been checking this blog more than once or twice a week, and now am only checking it to respond to people who are requesting my new url. 

like what the fuck do you want from me

i’m engaging because you’re attacking me and i’m not the kind of person who just lets that shit go, especially given there has been so fucking much of it, all while i very publicly had stated i was 1) in a bad mental place and 2) not even fucking Here bc i was on hiatus

the amount of anon bullshit i’ve published is less than half of what i’ve gotten, i’m not responding to every single time someone sent me an ask that just said “you’re disgusting” or “fuck you” lmao bc wow you are just. super creative aren’t you. like how fucking pathetic is it that you have the time to apparently check my blog every goddamn day to harrass me, but you don’t seem invested enough to take the time to insult me in any meaningful way

like i fucking insult myself better than you do goddamn daily

or. wait. is that? what you want? do you Want a Connection with me? bc that’s just. really messed up? seriously just. the reason i keep replying for the most part is that i am Utterly Baffled by your rude bullshit like. why are you wasting your time on this, genuinely dude, what the fuck are you doing with your life and what are you trying to get out of it

if you really don’t like me, don’t waste your time on me?? 

please for the love of god just grow the fuck up

what do you want to hear dude

does it make you feel better if i say yes

are you really that shitty a person

1) don’t care, not really trying to hide it lmao

2) gee i fucking wonder why

oh my fucking gd get a goddamn life already holy shit dude do you seriously think your three word basic ass anon hate messages once or twice a week are going to affect me in literally any way

literally even ryan was better at anon hate and he once sent me one in the form of responding to a “which character do you think i’m most like” les mis ask meme with “you are thenardier because you’re the worst” 

like do you see how pathetic you are that you are a step down from a sixteen year old that i got to stop harrassing me by putting floating glittertexts on my blog layout for a few weeks until he presumably got too embarrassed to go to my askbox anymore??

anyway you’ll be happy to hear that i’m not coming off hiatus here any time soon, and you’re welcome to get a damn life any time you find something better to do with your time then check to see if i’ve posted anything, see that i haven’t, and then send me really banal anon hate anyway

although on the other hand, it actually has been cheering me up bc like, knowing there’s someone like you out there is a great self esteem booster honestly, so knock yourself out i guess

ok straight up im shutting this down before i go to bed dude i know age doesn’t ~magically~ grant someone power but here’s the thing. nothing does. power balance or imbalance in a relationship is based on trust, communication, and individual maturity. i’ve experienced both sides of bad power/maturity imbalances in relationships and i can tell u it has fuck all nothing to do with age. you may be personally skeeved out by that specific thing but i, who am also a survivor of some pretty traumatizing shit, am not specifically skeeved out by this relationship, and find it comforting, because in my perception it is a healthy relationship based on mutual trust and affection. if you don’t see it that way, both tumblr blacklist and the unfollow button are right there. 

1) that’s not canon that’s still heresay afaik

2) 25 and 19 are??? perfectly acceptable ages for people to date?????????? that’s?? like? a six year age difference but w both of them comfortably legally and functionally adults???? i’m lost w what ur issue is here my dude