regulus

So I know I've been on a break, but I think I need to go further than that. I've had a really messed up couple years, even if I didn't know it at the time. I've been really mentally unwell and unhealthy and I've been perpetuating toxic behaviors in myself. I've been hurting myself, hurting people I cared about. I've let people treat me like shit and I've treated people like shit. Sometimes you have to hit rock fucking bottom to realize that you need to change things. Sometimes your life needs to blow up out of your control, even if it fucking sucks.

I've decided that being on here is something I need to change. Turns out getting harassed and hated for lies and partial lies while you sit knowing the truth drives you insane. So I'm deleting the app for awhile. I'm leaving my account up because I put work into it and I'm proud of it, I'm still going to enjoy marauders on my own time, but I need to just be on my own and off the internet. I don't know when, I don't even know if it'll be here, but if you've stuck around this long, I appreciate it. Maybe we'll meet up again down the line. I'd like to come back once I've moved on and other people have moved on. Once I'm secure in myself. Once I don't feel this utter terror at things being out of my control.

To anyone struggling with mental health shit, with guilt, with feeling trapped, with anything. It seems fucking impossible to stomach. I know. But you can get out. Sometimes your worst fears coming true is what sets you free. Sometimes you can't see the truth until you're out of the dark. It's weird how it works out sometimes.

If by some chance you want to keep up, be friends or something, I have a discord. That's kind of the only place I'll exist for awhile. I'll keep the app for like one more day in case someone wants to dm me for that, but after that I'm signing off.

For the people that believe me, who treat me like an actual human, thank you.

I'm taking another break. I'm fucking exhausted

If you wanna unmoot me, I don't care anymore, but at least fucking block me so I don't have to deal with you either

Believe what you want. I know you're wrong and that's what matters. I know what happened, I know what I felt

If someone goes back to a person they convinced you to leave, that tells you a lot about someone

Rosekiller was in my dream last night

I don't remember what was happening but I was friends with barty

I miss them

I was gonna do a mother's day post but then I realized it's a long complicated list of some who are mothers and some who are only mothers sometimes

So ig happy mothers day to the definite mothers (effie, hope), the sometimes mothers (lily, Mary, pandora), rhe honorary mothers (minnie, poppy), and any possible mothers of the marauders fandom (not walburga tho, fuck her)

Black brothers watching encanto

That shit would absolutely kill them

Tomodachi update:

- reg asked to live with Sirius, and because that's the only way for miis to know they're siblings I said yes. So rn we have a big house with jegulus, wolfstar, and Harry. Which is fine bc when wolfstar eventually gets married they'll move back out. I'm hoping for something similar with the rosier twins bc I want them to know they're siblings too

- ROSKILLER IS MARRIED!! I always fucked up the proposal twice BUT now they're good

- Marlene is into Dorcas!! Dorlene is on track!!

Tomodachi life update:

- me constantly shoving pandalily together bc they just won't fucking fall for each other

- oop rosekiller drama. They're in a fight. Barty saw Evan and reg talking, and he kept walking in the middle of them (jealous bitch) and then Evan got mad. So now they're both pissed. I'll be damned if this breaks them up smh

- ok Barty apologized and Evan accepted it, thank fuck. Dramatic cuties

- jegulus is like sickeningly in love. They sat in the restaurant all like "our love will last a lifetime" "You're the only one for me" "Oh my sunshine mi estrella" if it was anyone but them it would be annoying, but I love them

- wolfstar being wolfstar as usual. They're dating but they both keep fluctuating between "really likes" and "in love"

- Regulus is gathered with james and Harry and they're all staring at Regulus' cat (I named him Beans, which is what I hc Regulus' marauder type nickname to be)

- Harry inherited the "stands restlessly" trait from James so these to just stand there bouncing, it's hilarious lowkey

- pandora cheering up a slightly irritated harry

- Harry and remus are struggling to become friends and I am devastated. I'll force them dw

- but Harry and uncle pads are besties

Major tomodachi update !!!!

- HARRY IS BORN!! He looks just like James, as he should. I had to edit his hair because he had Regulus' hair but other than that he's utterly perfect. He lives with jegulus of course and they're so fucking adorable I'm obsessed. I'm gonna start introducing him to everyone else, he needs to know his insane amount of aunts and uncles

Mini tomodachi update !!

- dorcas has a crush on marlene

- Evan asked Barty out! After first Evan couldn't get it out, he kept stopping. And Barty goes "I know what you're going to say. I'm in love with this view too!" Smh poor Evan. But in the end it worked out, they're dating now

- since James brought up the idea of him and reg having a kid, I am now not so patiently waiting bc I realized I can have little Harry and Luna running around the island. Plus I can make up kids for the other couples, it'll be so cute

- I gave Sirius a guitar case for that fucking guitar he never puts down

- I sent jegulus on a western Europe tour (Italy, Netherlands, and london)

- and I came up with a small list of items I wanna make: marauders map (how could I not think of that sooner), Mars bar, a quidditch broom, minecraft and stardew valley, a Potter jersey, pride flags, the Slytherin locket, a possibly bloody knife, and kreacher (I'm undecided if he'll be a pet or mii)

During the war, the black brothers had an encounter. And while they both walked away mostly unscathed, Regulus couldn't help but wish Sirius had just ended it when he had his wand pointed at Regulus' neck

James would go through tsa at the airport, see the "No firearms or weapons" signs, and then make a joke like "only guns I got are these" while flexing his arms

Anyone have any ideas for stuff for me to make for my marauders tomodachis?

I don't wanna make any like super "normal" stuff bc some of that is already in the game. I mean like niche specific shit

I've already been making some clothes (im thinking quidditch shirts next), I made animagi as pets, and I made a bowie album and a queen album