I have a way to make it Liladrien/Adricerise!!!
(Attempt #2, because internet in the mountains is ass and it didn't save the first time🤬
Also a warning, I am very unfamiliar with Dispatch lore)
Let's say Lila isn't a two dimensional character who's entire identity is built upon hating Marinette/Ladybug, but rather she has much bigger and complex goals.
It's obviously hinted that she has very deep issues with feeling inferior, to a point where her goal is to be better than others, even if just not to be nothing.
How does she plans to do it? Simple!
Enroll to Francois Dupont, get naive Adrien wrapepd around her thumb and through Gabriel get into fashion and high society to finally be above most, if not all.
Except Dupain-Cheng had to stick her nose where unnecessary and ruin everything, and Adrien turned out to be much more than kind and naive pretty face, which is NOT a problem, quite on the contrary.
So alright, slight change of plans, making Adrien fall in love with her is still an option if she plays her cards right (and if she fell for him along the way then Oopsie!!) but then Ladybug destroyed any chance of that.
Now Ladybug is her enemy, so she looks into her amd huh, turns out baker girl is not so average. Before getting the Butterfly she thought Chat Noir to be a very capable fighter, but a fool nonetheless, but somewhere between Lila being humiliated by the pest and Cerise getting her hands on a miraculous Chat changed subtly and no one but her managed to see it.
Deciding to humour herself (all under excuse that to defeat your enemy you must know your enemy) she looks into him as well. Before Lila would call you a fool if you said she would fall for the same person twice, yet here she was, admiring both Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir.
Suddenly every little and seemingly stupid thing about both of his personas made sense and Cerise was ecstatic about knowing him so deeply.
New plan failed before she could make step one because Maritrash did something wrong again and Adrien, as well as Chat Noir dissapeared into thin air.
After that life became.... Boring. She's Cerise Bianca-Tsurugi now, second heiress to Tsurugi conglomerate and her akuma's beat the ever living shit out of Ladybug, but she's cursed with good luck so it's always a losing fight. Any other options were stopped by Bunnix, so Cerise just stopped.
Not a single akumatization in almost a year with some rare occasions when her emotions get the best of her and she's reminded that there's no noble hero to play their scripted game with.
Adrien while in US has the time of his life. Finally it all feels so normal and completely opposite to expected French blend of magical crazy that it's like becoming Chat Noir for the first time again. At just seventeen he has a job, and rents an apartment! And rides bus to work! It's all so mundane and monotone, yet he loves every moment of it.
Everything couldn't be perfect of course, not for him, so at work he still works with heroes, magic amd crazy, but hey! He did good enough in Paris, so Torrence is mild, and he has experience.
Other's see him as like Robin from Teen Titans but retired for some reason. He looks like ordinary civilian, he IS ordinary civilian, but then he folds metahumans like it's breakfast, just yesterday he tied Serpentine into a ribbon. So far he's the only one to stop Non-stop, and Majestro swears even though he's not magical, there's something dark and sinister about him. He doesn't say that the blonde knows he knows.
Just like with Robert there's a bet among the younger heroes at SDN about what is his background. They know he was a hero, but the bets are ranging from Blonde Blazer's secret son to some kind of demon or alien because one CANNOT look so sweet and innocent while simultaneously being so hot and dangerous.
The smug little brat doesn't help with going out of his way to prove as many theories as possible.
What everyone does agree on is that he's a man of many talents (because explain how one can know so much about different topics without doing them himself?) and that he didn't retire because of some trauma, physical or psychological. When asked about his past he simply doesn't want to talk about it in a way one doesn't want to talk about exes.
What's different from Robert is that The Sprouts (the name they all cringe at) know better than to test him with throwing mugs and such because they all suffered at his pettiness after.
He's a good dispatcher, he had his ups and downs, but his record is so good that Blazer asks him to cover for her. Lorie from HR swears she heard her call Adrien "Kiddo" and him respond with "Sure, Mom."
Except nothing good in Adrien's life is meant to last, not for Adrien. Never for Adrien.
The squad that was in his care stumbled upon something they shouldn't have, something way over their head. He told them to back off, to wait for reinforcements.
The contact was lost with everyone except for a lone earpiece that must've fell off, through which he could hear their screams. These kids, who are even younger than he is were screaming as their bones were broken, fingers cut and whatever else these monsters did to them.
He wanted to send someone, anyone to help, but he simply couldn't because today was some big bust and they couldn't bother to tell him.
Then he ran. So fast it would put his past self to shame. Only it wasn't fast enough.
Maybe it was Plagg, or maybe his brain finally kicked in the fast problem solving part of itself because a great idea came to his mind.
What if he could destroy the distance between himself and wherever he needed to go?
It worked. Sure, he could only teleport where he sees, and is better in shadows than lit up spaces, but it was much faster. Fast enough that when he arrived into the abandoned warehouse kids were still alive. To say that the scene made his blood boil would be an understatement. He felt primal, righteous rage which for Adrien was an accomplishment in and out of itself.
What he saw were not humans, but monsters, so he treated them like monsters. Letting the reigns a bit loose on his demons felt nice. Way too nice, which is why he almost never does it.
The news headlines were split that day. One half was about a massive black market bust, and the other about Chat Noir of Paris being seen for the first time in ages. The newspapers conviniently left out the part about an empty warehouse full of ash, but superhero geeks didn't, which is why forums exploded.
Cerise's life became so-o-o.... Boring. He was gone and suddenly fighting Ladybug became scripted. Her akuma's would kick her ass until her loyal little sidekicks came to bail her out, or her Lucky Charm would give her a cheatcode to win.
Whatever Maritrash has done, it made her Hero leave Paris. Chat Noir was gone, out of town. Lately Cerise Bianca-Tsurugi's thoughts drifted to what could've been between them had baker girl not pull her usual. This in turn meant she was pissed out of her mind in class. She sighs and looks for a distraction from coming up with a new way to hurt her, so she glanced at the news everyone was so busy discussing.
Her eyes lit up like Christmas came early when she saw it. Flying out of her chair she snatched the phone of one of the morons to see Chat Noir himself in all his former glory. It's been 2 years, yet he looked like only yesterday she was Volpina.
With school be damned, she ran to her car, yelling at the driver to go to the airport and begun ordering a plane to be there asap.
"I found you! Just wait, I'm coming mio Gatito, mio Eroe. Soon we'll dance once more."
Adrien was devastated to say the least. His charges were alive, thank God, but their lives as heroes are finished and their normal ones are changed forever.
No one blamed him, but all he could think about was how it all was his fault.
Blazer, no, Mandy made him take a week off which stretched forever and passed in a moment seemingly at the same time. When he's back, he is burying himself in work. His coworkers get it, he's not the only one who lost those who were intrusted to them.
It does get better when about a month after the reitred members pay a visit to them.
"It's Chat Noir actually."
"Damn! There goes my hundred bucks."
"... Why Torrence? Surely Paris is nicer than this shit hole."
"Too much crazy for my liking there."
"Too much crazy? Man, we have gangs left and right, cults or smugglers in almost every abandoned building and almost every one here is either a hero or a villain and you're telling me this is less crazy???"
"I've fought monstrosity after monstrocity almost every day. The city was frozen, or turned into twisted, sick version of it with people turning into mindless puppets or dissapearing. And guess what happened after."
"Everyone went back to work as if nothing happened. I could be in school when a villain of the day would start turning the city into a festival and people into plush toys, then fight it and as soon as it's over I had to go back to class."
"Sounds like a hell hole. Glad that you're with us now, I'm feeling safer already!"
"This was an exception. I don't plan to come back."
Those words would come back to bite his ass very next day, because Cerise didn't spend this month doing nothing. While on the surface everything looked the same, in the underworld there was a war fought by a one man army. Chrysalis was ruthless.
"I couldn't care less about what you do, kill, steal, smuggle... The Chat Noir is mine, and mine only. Lay a finger on him and I will turn you lot into my mindless puppets. One butterfly is all it takes to make you a mannequin without a sense. Without pesky bug to save you, you will be under my thumb forever. Am I understood?"
"....y-yes!" The gangster gasps out before she lifts her cane from his throat.
"Wonderful! In that case au revoir."
'We'll see eachother soon, my hero. All that remains is the scene for you... '
The next day begun as normal for Adrien. Breakfast, bus ride, logging in and start of the work. It's not often that the crimes were committed at 7 am, but not unheard of. So far there was no reports of anything really.
"You already up the screen, kid?"
"Man ain't nothing is going to happen 'till at least 9!"
"If it were like that, we'd be out of job."
And just like that an alarm just had to blare on the computer. Jim looked away with his hands up in apology.
"Adrien on station, do we have anyone around city park?"
Various no's and negatives were heard through the comms. He pulled up the cameras to see what is even going on. A golem very reminiscent of Stoneheart was wrecking shops and cars on it's way to commercial district.
"Robert? Anyone of Z-Team free for a mission?"
"Uh-h-h... Punch Up and Coupé are chilling right now, where do you want them?"
"City park area, moving closer to Commercial on Bennett street. How fast can they be there?"
"Three minutes to dress and five to fly."
"... I'm not gonna ask, just... patch them in to me when they are close."
"Coupé and Punch Up on the payroll! What are we dealing with?"
"A golem is crushing the stores, cars and hurts civilians, that's what I see from the cameras, do you have eyes?"
"I see it. Any advice? I know you have some."
"...There should be a paused construction the corner of Bennett and 12th street. Try to lure it there and crash the scaffolding to immobilize it until the police can pick it up.
"Understood, we're going in."
"There's something weird with this thing."
"Some weird mask symbol lit up in front of it's face like a neon sign and someone's talking to it."
Adrien felt shivers run up his spine.
"... Coupé, do you have a visual?"
"...Is it a purple butterfly logo?"
"Jim! Take my computer immediately!"
Transforming yet again in empty corridor he ran to the damn park. It just had to an akumatization, on his shift.
The fight isn't that bad considering everything, he just said that Adrien sent him because he's the one who knows everything on the topic. Akumatized object was in it's clenched fist by looks of it, three of them got it quickly. Just as Chat broke it, the red and black yo-yo flew so close to his head he barely ducked away.
Turning around he saw her. Same girl he loved, and who in turn lied and betrayed him. Coupé's first impression also wasn't good, so he heard the forgotten scratch of the blades.
"No more evil for you, little butterfly!"
Before he could say a word to his ex-partner, another scream is heard, this time from above.
Chrysalis drops on Ladybug with sword already drawn and mid swing. The Bug jumps away and The Butterfly slices through concrete beneath their feet.
"It was perfect! First akuma to remind him of the first time!!"
"There you are, villain!"
"Fuck you!! I won't let you lead him away from me again!!"
"Psst! Hey Lad, I don't wanna sound like an idiot, but do we, y'know... Do something about them?"
"Make no sound and slowly inch away until we can leave unnoticed."
"Okay. We will talk about this later."
Heroine and Villainess trade blow after blow, attack after attack until SDN sends other heroes to the epicenter. Lila is about to strike again, but she looks around. She sees that not only are they surrounded, but Cat is long gone.
"Fucking pest. You did it again, you just had to come and ruin everything!!"
"Give up, you're surrounded, Chrysalis!"
"Get bent. We'll see eachother again, Bug."
"Alright, are you going to tell us what the hell is going on?"
"Adrien will explain it to you, I've gotta go."
"Adrien Agreste, I asked you a question. What is going on?"
"... Shit. *Sigh* These two psychos are the reason I left Paris. They are at eachother's throats and I am the one who payed the price for all that madness.
I guess I'm just not alowed to have nice things like peace, so of course they are here now. "
"... It's Coupé who usually suggests this stuff, but do you need us to take care of them?"
"The red one has an artifact granting her a power of creation and good luck, the purple one controls emotions and transformation. I don't want anyone to get close to them."
"What is your power then?"
"Pure Destruction and bad luck."
"Bloody hell... Is it a requirement that evil powers have to go to nice guys like you?"
And from then on Adrien has no other option but to go to Blonde Blazer's to say "I don't want this, but I have to get back in the game." Robert is informed and Cat Noir becomes another hero on the roster even if rarely. No one but Blazer, Robert and obviously Coupé and Punch Up know that the blonde kid Z-team adopted is also a leatherclad Cat Boy.
When he crosses paths with Ladybug on a solo patrol, she lashes out as if he's the guilty one. He doesn't care and just leaves her alone and out of breath each time.
With Chrysalis it's much worse. For some reason akuma's happen closest to him and she always shows up personally. It's a very rare occasion when Bug is not there, but a pleasant one because then there's at least some semblance of a peace.
Chat fights an akuma, uses his own Miracle cure that destroys this particular future for all the things and people affected. Then she comes out and they fence, it's obvious she's not a professional, but that doesn't make it easier because what she lacks in skill, she makes up for in manoeuvres. Often times it involves them on top of eachother, or pinned, or in otherwise compromising position.
He wishes he could say it doesn't change anything, but whenever he thinks about her, his thoughts drift towards her face, her lips, or worse - her body. And when he thinks that it can't get worse, suddenly his heart begins to yearn for the connection. As if last one didn't burn and cut him.
The Butterfly seems to know what she's doing because seeing him flustered results in her flirting. Still, he is Chat Noir, so he flirts back and it's her turn to blush, even if it's in the faux manner.
SDN is a big organisation, and it has rules. One of them is that there has to beveither a partner on patrols, or a supervisor on the line. What that means is that they all eventually find out and make fun of him. They tease him ruthlessly about being in kahoots with the villainess.
"Look at 'ya, following in my steps! That's my boy everyone!!"
"You're embarrassing the kid Galm."
Marinette is where Adrien's, not Chat's problems begin. He's not Chat every day, just whenever there's an akumatization, all others he's just a dispatcher everyone loves working with. It's a boring wednesday when he looks around the office and spots her.
Blood drains from his face as he stands up and goes directly to Mandy.
"What the hell is she doing here?"
"Who the hell let her in when it's specified I ran because of her?!"
"I did everything to stop it Adrien. But my hands were tied. I don't know how, but powerful people pushed for her being here, the best I managed is to make her the lowest position possible, with least access possible."
"And that somehow makes it better? She stalked me! She's still obsessed years after I left."
"I know, and I am sorry, but I can't get rid of her yet. I am not leaving you alone though. She's going to be watched and if she does anything suspicious we throw her out, that was the deal. Me and Coupé will be dropping you off so that she doesn't follow you home."
"Fuu-u-uck... Fine. But if she does ANYTHING, I'm out. I'm thankful for everything you've done for me, and I'm sorry, but I won't go through that again."
"I understand Kiddo, I really do. And I don't blame you. If anything happens I'll help, promise."
Day, two, three, people notice change, and when Adrien started glaring, looking around and checking stuff, they noticed.
"Alright, what's up with you and janitor girl?"
"...Is it that noticeable?"
"Adrien, you're the sweetest kid I know, sweetest coworker of mine you are. So when you are glaring at someone and act paranoid it's obvious something is up. So what is it?"
"She's a stalker. Stalked me where I lived before and apparently she can pull the strings to get here. Blazer said they tried to make her my coworker, but knowing what she did she was able to push her way down with tonnes of conditions."
"Alrighty. I'll be sure to check on her. Do you mind if I spread the word?"
"If you know then I'm pretty sure everyone else suspects it as well, so go on."
