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the wrong question

@melodramaticmonopoly / melodramaticmonopoly.tumblr.com

GJ, they/them, I'm 21+
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elodieunderglass asked:

I’m going to make a horse out of willow for no gosh darned reason

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eggsforkillie answered:

Elodie, of everyone I know, you're most likely to be making a horse for no reason. So, @elodieunderglass, how did the horse go?

What is this blog? | Submit to get Killie another egg | Support the eggs

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Oh goodness - the Wicker (Whicker) Horsie! Crafted in an afternoon of madness, as I had the whimsical idea of using it as a base for training English Ivy around, creating a sort of living horse sculpture and visual interest in a flowerbed, before it decayed.

I don’t know if I have a proper picture of it when it was fresh, since the children instantly claimed Whicker Horsie as a goalkeeper for football games, and its body is significantly more weathered! It is never allowed to hold still enough to grow moss, let alone ivy.

It’s more of a Wicker Quadruped of Uncertain Lineage now, and is always being moved about the garden in some way, being threaded through with bits of grass and flowers, and taking many many blows with toys. It has lost most of its tail but gained significant sporting glory.

Whicker Horsie was completed THE DAY I SENT THE EGG IN, and despite being something of a failure as a horse, has proved to be a surprisingly good goalie.

#this looks so fun
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Reblogged eighthdoctor
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if you have to rely on specific scripts or turns of phrase to socialise that's totally fine, but you must NOT reveal them to your friends while slightly drunk. it's like showing how the magic trick works, you can't do it in front of them afterwards

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i like dogs a lot but i can never remember the differences between breeds (apart from the few types i've actually owned/interacted with). but i know people looove their dogs and love talking about their dogs, so whenever im talking to a dog owner i'll ask what breed it is, and no matter what breed they say i'll say "oh! i've heard they have a really nice nature :D" and they always go YESSS THEY'RE GREAT and start gushing about their dog and we have a nice conversation and i build social credit with this person. anyway i told my friends about this script a few weeks ago when slightly drunk and now every time we're in public together and a dog goes past they turn to me and ask "does that one have a nice nature?" im in a hell of my own making

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Reblogged gravelgirty
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if you see a Jabberwocky in an American National Park i cannot stress this enough you HAVE to report them to the nearest Park ranger. I know, I know, they fill human hearts with terror and whimsy in equal measure, but they are an aggressively invasive species in the Americas. Jackalopes are at risk of becoming extinct because during shedding season they have no natural defences against jaws that bite and claws that catch.

You don't have to worry about them killing it, they're actually endangered in England due to Victorian Era overhunting, so the British government's provided the National Park service with Vorpal Tranquilizer Darts so they can safely transport them to their native British Countryside where they can feast on borogroves and jubjub birds to their hearts' content.

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Jabberwocks are starting to really intrude on the territory of the Snallygaster and crowd them out. Please report when you see them and help preserve our American monsters!

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Biologists prefer the term “fearsome critters”, just FYI. They resemble monsters but only due to convergent evolution.

#unreality