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To be fair, he's not thinking anything, because jellyfish do not have brains.

My favourite little x men thing is when someone is like "Give up, Magneto! You stand no chance against this plastic weapon/gun/suit I have built!"

And Magneto is like "I see. Whatever will I do."

and throws the surrounding infrastructure at them.

genre classic

I'm thrilled to report that not so long ago, he had his heart ripped straight from his body and kept going for hours by keeping his own blood inside his body and circulating it.

Any day now

people have suddenly started reblogging this post of mine from february 8th, 2012. great bit everybody

ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

okay okay there's more

6. Elderly surgeon to the anaesthetist who is gossipping with their reg: "I need you to pretend you're in church." [weirdest way to ask people to be quiet, but whatevs]

Anaethetist's new reg with big, horrified eyes: "You mean we should start praying???"

7. Panicking rad tech: "Uhhhh my machine broke. I need to jump on this part and kick it, but I am not paid enough if I break it. Can you - "

Surgeon, casual as: "Yeah, sure."

:violently beats up the C-arm until it starts pumping out those sweet, sweet x-rays:

8. ODP to theatre assistant: "Saw the new tasche earlier. Suits you."

Theatre assistant: "Thanks! it grew on me :)"

Surgeon, pleadingly, within accidental snipping distance of the patient's spinal cord: "Guys, do NOT make me laugh."

OH MY GOD I FORGOT -

9. Surgeon using the electrocauter, leaning over the incision and inhaling deeply: mmmmm, that smell always gets me hungry. I'm having barbeque tonight.

New med student: 👀

and the classique:

Spinal surgeon: hey, that scoli's getting bad. want me to fix it for ya?

Me: I mean. There's a pretty long wait list

Spinal surgeon: yeah but I could do it tonight

Me: that would be very illegal, Jeff

Spinal surgeon: only if they catch me

discord is a thing that does not work

it's an outage btw it's affecting multiple people

pisscord is a thing that does NOT owrk

Reblog to hug prev

Please

going to try a bold new technique called Unfollowing Blogs That Make Me Feel Bad paired with another novel method known as Following Blogs That Make Me Feel Good

very convenient for the knights of the round table that every beautiful woman or hermit they run into while mortally wounded happens to be one trained in medicine enough so to basically bring people back from the dead. honestly indispensable part of camelot society like way more than the knights tbh

*seductively takes DS stylus out of mouth like a cigarette* So… i heard you like Pokemon…..

Pokemon Heritage Post

the five trauma reactions: fight, flight, freeze, fawn, and mating

They haven't sorry

THE WORDS AREN’T WORDING. THE PLOT ISN’T PLOTTING. THE CHARACTERS?? THEY’VE UNIONIZED. I’M GOING TO SCREAM.