Jewel-daughter / Tar-Míriel

Lord of the rings from Saurons perspective is a fucking fever dream because he started by reforming his essence into some physical form in mirkwood and before he even has enough strength to feel that the ring was even in the same forest as him he gets chased off by a group of wizards and elves looking to fuck some shit up. There goes his plan to get a dragon on his side

So he holds up in mordor gathering a new army, and only after about a century is he strong enough to do cool magic shit again, by that time however the ring hadnt been used in decades so there were no whispers of it except oops we found this weird little fucker who keeps yelling about his fucking precious, better go check out “shire baggins” whatever the fuck that is

So he finds out a fucking hobbit has his ring which in middle earth terms is like finding out mr magoo has your fucking nuclear launch codes. So he starts sending wave after wave of his own men to get the ring and they keep failing cause this fucking hobbit has friends. He has his homie saruman send some uruk-hai to get them and then sends some goblins to make sure everything goes right but for no apparent reason they stop reporting in, (something about horses and trees?) so he sends a guy to ask saruman straight out wheres my fucking ring and saruman straight up lies about it. Next thing he hears saruman has launched an all our invasion of rohan with 10000 uruk-hai so rip the bronies right? Nope the next day his army is defeated and saruman has fucking vanished.

Confused as fuck now sauron gets a fucking phone call from a god damn hobbit (ITS YOU!) but all he gets out of the little sovereign citizen is some shit about “i do not answer questions” and next thing he hears the hobbit has gone to fucking gondor. Alright send fucking everything we got, take gondor do whatever it takes get my fucking ring back. And what does he have to worry about right? After all even if rohan helps he’ll still win. Wtf is that an army of ghosts???!?!?!?

So then hes sitting there with his diminished army trying to figure out his next plan of attack and he gets another fucking phone call from the god damn great grandson of the prick who cut off his ring in the first place. “Oi cunt i got ur ring and im gonna fuc u up m8!” *click*

Goody he thinks, this arrogant sob is gonna bring my ring right to me, time to throw everything i got at this bastard. So then the fight starts hes super excited cause hes clearly winning and OH DEAR GOD MY RING IS IN THE VOLCANO HOW THE FU- *dies*

Now hes a weird ghost thing that cant ever do anything but lament how big a prick he is

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RINGS OF POWER (2022 - ) Charles Edwards as Celebrimbor & Charlie Vickers as Annatar / Sauron 2.07 - Doomed to Die

For all my fellow oversharers out there.

As a chronic people-pleaser, this is my advice for success.

Offer as little as possible. Be terse. Get rid of all those exclamation marks and tidbits about why you want to take a sick day. State your needs clearly and concisely without reason. Start saying “No, I’m unable.” more often. Say Thank You only when the other party deserves it.

*looks at piles of books and essays on queenship in medieval and early modern history* *sighs*

Ryan Condal when I catch you

Me if I hear any comparisons with Mary I and Rhaenyra next season

Thinking about the Hadestown proshot and Orpheus being introduced wiping down a table with his back to the audience. Hermes has to call out to him again to get him to take his opening bow, and for the show to start, Orpheus has to turn around.

Actually I hear hbo’s just waiting for martin to die so they can release the actual best piece of asoiaf media which is a sequel to got where king bran i’s son’s attempts to cement his dynasty which rose from the ashes of the civil war are hamstrung by his inability to produce an heir with the daughter of the prince of dorne and the story follows his social climbing advisor tommen crummel’s attempts to get him to break with the faith of the seven in favour of the theses proposed by a septon from across the narrow sea called martyn of (I am politely yet forcefully escorted off the stage)

the thing is. hades would also look back. he thinks he wouldn't. but he would.

*torturing you* dude trust me, something really cool happens. you just have to reflect on it for a bit. i'm doing this because i want you to reach your full potential okay?

King Durin and Queen Disa, the Rings of Power Season 3

MORFYDD CLARK as GALADRIEL in Season 3 of The Rings of Power via Empire Magazine » September Issue