I need everyone to get more comfortable with hearing about non binary joy and non binary dysphoria.

No, androgynous looking non binary people are not harming you by existing and being happy with how they look.

Yes, just as binary trans people can wish their body looked different/they were born in a different body so can non binary trans people wish the same.

No, a non binary person wishing they had a feminine/masculine body and to present masc/fem is not fetishizing binary trans people.

Yes, many non binary people get euphoria from being gender non conforming and looking visibly queer or trans.

No, a non binary person not wanting to "pass" as a man or a woman doesnt mean they're more privileged or that they dont care about how they look or that they dont want any kind of social or medical transition.

Yes, dividing non binary people by their gender assignment is transphobic and will never not be.

No, genderqueer, genderfreak, genderfuck and any other gendered term that implies non binary people take pride in being non binary/outside the binary/gender non conforming is Not an insult to binary trans people and you do not get to use them to shame and be transphobic to non binary people.

Yes, implying that non binary people are less trans or that they're confused about their identity and need binary trans people to 'crack their egg' so they 'fulfill their transition' is transphobic.

No, intersex non binary people arent 'biologically non binary', they're non binary because they are non binary, being intersex doesnt make them inherently/naturally non binary, and they are not "more non binary" than perisex non binary people.

Yes, treating non binary people like their non binarinity, gender non conformigness, androgyny or general presentation is a sign that they are able to and will easily detransition is transphobic.

No, a binary trans person coming out as non binary doesnt mean they've 'detransitioned' or were manipulated by non binary people into being 'less trans'.

Yes, non binary people face misogyny and misandry, transphobia and exorsexism, transmisogyny and transandrophobia, toxic femininity and toxic masculinity, pressure to conform to gender norms and to stray as far away from them as possible.

No, non binary people are not whining for wanting to be addressed by their pronouns and the correct gendered/gender neutral terms.

Brought to you by the absolute displeasure of seeing binary trans people saying that androgynous non binary people shouldnt share their happiness in being themselves and binary trans people saying that non binary people wishing they had been born into a body with certain genitalia/traits and present in a gnc way is "fetishizing" binary trans people and that trans non binary people arent really trans.

Lattice 163 - Prescription

Hii!!! Here are some terms for relationships that include nonbinary people/define nonbinary attraction

Diamoric: Considered an umbrella term referring to attractions experienced by non-binary individuals that cannot be described with language such as same/similar or different/opposite gender, such as "straight" or "gay".

Trixic: Describes a person with a nonbinary gender identity who is attracted to women. Or a relationship that includes a nonbinary person and a woman.

Toric: Describes a person with a nonbinary gender identity who is attracted to men. Or a relationship that includes a nonbinary person and a man.

Enbian: Refers to a relationship between nonbinary individuals, or nonbinary people with attraction to other nonbinary individuals.

Sources:

I honestly think that nonbinary people should be allowed to be mean* about our genders without getting shit for it more often.

*(Read: Assertive of our boundaries and stood firm on the fact that our identities are deserving of respect)

We should be allowed to make a sour face or take a cold tone with someone when they carelessly misgender us for the fifth time in a row despite multiple corrections. We should be allowed to complain about erasure and ask where our needs and experiences come into play when we hear people reinforcing binary normativity in their discussions of gender related issues. We should be allowed to be visibly/audibly angry with other trans people when they try to forcibly categorize us as fem or masc, or imply that our enbyness is a mere phase that will eventually lead to "real/full" (binary to binary) transition.

Nonbinary people should be allowed to take our identities seriously and expect others to do the same for us, regardless of whether or not we will come off as mean for doing so. Because quite frankly, upon seeing how exorsexist the world has become recently, I think we haven't been mean enough.

Shout out to non-binary people who are androgynous, who don't identify with a binary gender, who use only they/them pronouns or neopronouns. You are beautiful and valid. Transneutral and transandrogynous are real terms.

-a feminine enby whos tired of their non-binary siblings being left out in favour of binary aligned enbies. We are not more important than them, we exist together and you can't support one without supporting the others.

I met the world’s most drunkest ally on the bus the other night.

As a nonbinary intersex person, I feel like I'm always trying to balance on the knife's edge between "I believe that anyone should get whatever hormones and surgery they want, no questions asked, with no shitty barriers" and "...but some of y'all are really edging into truscum/transmedicalist territory, I really need people to stop equating the term 'transition' with 'HRT, surgery, and nothing else,' and I am begging other trans people to do way more work in deconstructing their binary view of gender, because if one more trans person says something exorsexist and/or intersexist to me about my body, I AM going to fucking snap. Stop gendering my body and trying to dictate what transition should mean for anyone who isn't your own damn self."

I really wish it was easier to say, "hey, transmedicalists have put a shitty amount of pressure on me and several of my other nonbinary friends to transition in a way that doesn't suit us, and the emphasis a lot of trans spaces put on HRT and surgery can be super uncomfortable as an intersex person who has had doctors try to tell me I should get hormone treatments to 'fix' my body."

But people get touchy and reactive about that conversation, because of how many bigots are doing the "omg trans people are FORCING their DIRTY HORMONES on our CHILDREN!" narrative.

I never want to accidentally contribute to that moral panic. But at the same time, as a nonbinary intersex person, some trans people really fucking do pull the "oh my god you have to get HRT and surgery in order to be VALID and REAL like ME!" shit.

And it's hard to navigate sometimes, y'know?

These thoughts are on my mind today because I'm reading an anthology of trans-focused comics. A significant number of them are "how I got my surgery/HRT and started feeling like a Real Trans Person" narratives.

The authors haven't done anything shitty in telling their stories. These stories are important to share. But it's hard not to notice that I've yet to see a story like mine, where the journey of self-love comes through learning that body parts have no gender, that my body does not determine my identity, and that I don't have to alter it in order to fit binarist, truscum, intersexist ideas of what I should look like. My body can just exist without intervention. I don't need to do anything to it unless I want to, and the fact that I don't want to does not make me any less trans, nonbinary, or intersex.

It just gets kind of exhausting and alienating to see endless "trans empowerment is through SURGERY and HORMONES!!!!" stories, without much variation.

I wasn't born in the wrong body. I don't feel trapped in my body. My body is already nonbinary, because I am nonbinary.

Lattice 161 - Separate

And now, back to Pride month the way I'm used to it. 😅

It’s not really a secret.

Trying to get back into drawing by doing some simpler stuff.

I think gendered privilege is a huge minefield when it comes to trans people and talking about “binary privilege” as a broad term is about as useful as talking about “monosexual privilege” or “allo privilege”, but I DO think it’s funny how many of the same folks who will insist that trans men have male privilege “because it’s easier for them to be stealth” will at the same time declare all enben & genderquer people are super mega privileged over binary trans people.

Nonbinary and genderqueer people categorically CANNOT be stealth. Either we’re closeted or we’re completely out as nonbinary/genderqueer and all that entails. Even the “ultra-privileged” presents-as-their-agab-and-doesn’t-switch-pronouns enban whom transmedicalists are so terrified of isn’t stealth, and can’t be. Either they admit they are nonbinary (and thus not cis) or they bury their own identity inside the closet.

In a world where everyone is expected to have an M or an F on their driver’s license, having an X there instead means telling every single cop that pulls you over that you’re trans. In a world where the only two pronouns are “he” and “she,” using something else immediately alerts people that you aren’t cis. A binary trans man can theoretically pass as a cis man in public (if he’s lucky) and a binary trans woman can theoretically pass as a cis woman in public (if she’s lucky), but someone who’s ideal presentation involves mixed characteristics can’t do that because there’s no “cis nonbinary” identity to pass as.

But nobody wants to talk about that bc it would mean poking holes in their “cissexual enben are the most privileged trans people ever!” argument.

To all my sisters, brothers and siblings on the trans umbrella, you aint alone and we are not gonna tolerate any discrimination. We help eachother and we will work together towards a better world. Cuz if we start dividing, we are gonna get snuffed one by one. If they come for me at dawn they'll come for you at night.

Life of Lamb #31: Spam Calls

And then right after this you hear that someone is trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty…

Consider supporting me on Ko-fi!

Lattice 160 - Memorial

This goal is ultimately what led to me making/posting Lattice. I don't have the ability to do much else, but I can make art and share my experience so people don't feel so alone in theirs.

Some non-binary awareness pictures I made for a russian nb blog

I hate that there's no room for nonbinary people in media. When a character's gender is "ambiguous" (neither seen as masculine nor feminine) and solely referred to with neutral terms such as "they/them" and person, individual, etc, people can't stand that. They can't stand the idea that a nonbinary person wouldn't want to be a boy or girl, isn't a boy or a girl. They have to be a girlthing or a boything (why are all nonbinary people things? Why is it never girlenby or boyenby?), they have to be transfem or transmasc. When they're put into relationships, they have to be either lesbian or gay. Nobody can be cenelian or enbian or diamoric or gai or strayt or trixic or toric. That doesn't exist.

I'm sick of it. I'm sick of seeing nonbinarity be shoved into category after category after category when the whole point of being nonbinary is that we want to opt out.

as a person under the agender/nonbinary umbrella I actually think the recently increased focus on a nonbinary person’s agab is insanely fucking uncomfortable and blatantly exorsexist. Stop trying to sort NB people into boxes of amab vs afab, transfem vs transmasc, tma vs tme, etc etc. It is not praxis or activism to keep attempting to binarize people whose entire identities are built around the fact that they DO NOT ADHERE to a binary. You are just being a fucking tar pit #sorry

tma and tme are to describe one's relationship to transmisogyny. it's similar to describing a relationship to anti-blackness by "creating a binary" of black and non-black (which includes white people, latino people, asian people, etc). tme includes anyone who is not transfeminized (such as cis men, cis women, trans men, etc). just because there are two categories of something doesn't mean you're getting forced into a gender binary. ignoring your relationship to transmisogyny by refusing to understand what tme/tma means is exactly the same as ignoring your relationship to anti-blackness by saying "i dont see color", because sure, you can ignore that there's a structural & systemic issue regarding a specific demographic, but it doesn't mean its not there!

nigga did your white ass really just come onto a black person’s post to try and lecture them about not knowing their own relationship to antiblackness

number one check yourself. Number two comparing TMA/TME to anti-Blackness is a false dichotomy and I need white queer people to stop trying to compare themselves to Black people every single chance they get. oh my god

The two are NOT similar. If you really wanna play the game of equating race and gender, then the equivalent to “Black and nonblack” would be transfem/trans woman and non-transfem/trans woman, not TMA/TME. I can assure you that NO black person is going around saying “antiblack racism affected vs antiblack racism exempt.” Because That Is Stupid.

EVERYONE is affected by antiblackness, because of how deeply it’s ingrained into our entire societal structure. You cannot write off specific demographics as not being affected by certain forms of oppression or discrimination, because the nature of living in a white supremacist-capitalist-patriarchy is that ALL of these systems are INTRINSICALLY connected with each other, and affect EVERYONE to some degree. There are countless historical examples of antiblack legislation directly impacting poor communities of other racial groups- including white people. There are primary targets of discrimination, obviously, but nobody is truly “exempt” from any sort of oppressive system unless they are at the VERY top of the damn food chain.

In the same vein, the intersection of transphobia and misogyny is ALSO deeply ingrained into our society. And because of that, nobody is truly “transmisogyny-exempt.” Even people who aren’t the primary targets are still directly impacted and negatively affected by transmisogynistic systems. I find TMA/TME to be useless in terms of categorization because it directly posits that everyone who gets sorted into the latter group just doesn’t experience any oppression or discrimination derived from transmisogynistic bases at all, which is ridiculous, because that happens All the time.

A trans man or enby who’s mistaken for a trans woman and is assaulted for it, a cis man who’s belittled and attacked on the basis of being Too Feminine, a cis woman who’s publicly shamed, derided, and transvestigated for having testosterone levels that are “too high,” are all examples of non-transfem/trans woman groups being negatively affected on the basis of transmisogyny.

Poor white people being affected by legislation meant to target and attack Black populations and the massive trend of colorism throughout Asian communities are examples of nonblack groups being negatively affected on the basis of antiblackness.

You cannot sort people by what oppression they do and do not face, and attempts to do so are inherently exclusionary and are bound to lead back into denying people of their lived experiences, just because they don’t line up perfectly into these specific categories of “this genre of person goes through this” vs “this genre of person doesn’t go through that.”

I believe that TMA/TME was coined with the best intentions, but the problem is that it’s a clumsy dichotomy and the way a lot of people tend to use it ends up leading back into the same issues of being binary (“amab trans people experience this, afab trans people don’t experience that”) and then THAT leads back into a whole heaping mess in and of itself

Talking about the way transfeminized people are targeted by transmisogyny is not a bad thing in and of itself! But like, you can just say transfem/non-transfem- or even just “transfeminized” to describe the position oppressors will often place people into in order to enact transmisogynistic violence against them- instead of directly trying to state what different groups of people Do And Don’t Experience. you can say “primary targets of transmisogyny” without directly implying that certain groups are exempt from it all together.

THAT is my issue at hand when it comes to TMA/TME. It is an awkward framework to describe oppression, because oppression doesn’t work like that in reality