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Jet

@krowjet

Any pronouns work lol.

I just got a really really good idea for a visual gag that unfortunately only works in an animated artistic medium that uses chowder style static textures for clothes. And now I’m pissed off that I can’t find a series of words to write a description of the gag that would have any chance of working as a joke because it requires too much setup and the punchline wouldn’t be punchy in a text medium. (T ^ T)

[In a Chowder style cartoon world where clothing uses static background textures]

Character A: *Accidentally spills something on her shirt and it leaves a stain*

*Looks around to see if anyone noticed.*

*Takes a few steps to the side, moving along the static background texture causing the stain to ‘slide’ away and not be visible anymore*

[later in the episode, a completely different scene with completely different framing]

Character A: *Walks along with the rest of the cast across the screen into the same spot on the screen where she was when she spilled on her shirt. The stain was on the same spot in the background texture this whole time she just happened to avoid it throughout the episode til now. This causes the stain to ‘slide’ onto her shirt again, but shes further from the ‘camera’ now so the stain covers way more of her shirt.*

Character B: *Points the stain out and laughs at her for managing to get such a huge stain on her clothes*

Character A: *Gets embarrassed and defensive saying it’s the shot composition’s fault*

Character C: *Looks up and scolds the animator for not doing the cast’s laundry between scenes*

Faceless animator from off screen: *Tries to make excuses about not having time and trying to meet the episode deadline*

Character C: *Crosses her arms and turns her head away, says she’s disappointed in them*

Offscreen animator’s giant hand: *Reluctantly grabs the static clothing texture and pulls it away*

Character A: *Her shirt clothing texture is replaced with blank white void. She gets embarrassed and tries to cover herself up as if she was naked*

[Cut to short live action sequence of the disembodied hand of the animator throwing the static texture cloth into the washing machine, adding stain remover and starting the machine.]

[Time passes. Cut to disembodied hand tapping its fingers impatiently right before the washing machine dings complete. The hand throws it in the dryer. Resumes tapping impatiently]

[Time Passes. Cut to disembodied hand seemingly being asleep, then the dryer dings waking them up. Hand takes texture out of the dryer. Starts bringing the texture back to the set.]

Character C, offscreen: *Shouts at the animator demanding they iron it too*

[Cut to disembodied hand frantically ironing the texture.]

[Cut back to animated scene with main cast still at the same scene. Character A is still embarrassed and trying to cover herself up. Character B is asleep and loudly cartoonishly snoring. Character C is looking up at where ‘the animator’ is, impatiently tapping her foot and scowling]

Disembodied Hand: *Frantically tries to put the texture back in place. Accidentally puts it on upside down.*

Character C, scowling: *Raises an eyebrow*

Disembodied hand: *Frantically rearranges the texture and finally gets it in place correctly*

Character C, eyebrow still raised: *Asks if they’re forgetting something*

Disembodied hand, ‘standing’ on the ‘ground’ of the scene with its middle and ring finger posed as legs and its pointer and pinky as arms: *Goes into dogeza pose and desperately apologizes*

Character C: *Accepts apology, but gives a threatening warning not to let it happen again*

Disembodied hand: *’Runs’ offscreen frantically*

[The episode resumes as if nothing happened. This gag is never repeated and is never addressed for the rest of the show’s running]

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

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At outposts of minimal strategic importance, clones kill time instead of droids. Troopers with little else to do produce absurdist comedy sketches, "cringe" compilations, and abuse GAR property make memes about base-keeping chores.

The above holovid stillframe was created by a notorious vandal & holonet poster, captured moments before a stun grenade corrupted the footage and damaged a significant portion of the hallway electrical systems, presumably as a joke. When questioned by his superior officer, he famously replied, "I was on the schedule for cleaning duty anyway, sir. Where do you think I got the bucket?"

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me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

when i was a kid my parents bought me an inflatable doll of the Scream by Edvard Munch (??) that was significantly taller than i was at the time and i used to slow-dance with it and pretend it was my boyfriend. It had its hands attached to its head obviously so it felt like he was always a bit horrified to be forced to dance with me

i didn't need no imaginary friends i had Screaming Joe right here !

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omgeddon-deactivated20260424

I love this website I love it when people tell us what's wrong with them

Spent a ridiculous amount of time last night obsessively editing my hand written zines in Photoshop to take away any tiny blemishes so they were definitely readable.

Whatever. Understand or don't.

what I've learned from having other people edit my work is that I have a sick addiction to commas

there have been four editing passes on my spider sex book, and each time they take away so many commas. no fresh commas are being added, this is just a continued culling. if you see a comma in the final book please understand that it survived so much

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

do u like mine

Oh wow.

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

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I forgot I had tumblr again but hi~~

My fixation is Lohen now ^^

I don't rlly know how the blog stuff works on tumblr so sorry for ppl who don't care abt him

It’s finally happened.

After almost a decade on this site, I found another Tumblr user in the wild. I stopped to tie my shoe with rainbow laces this morning outside the silversmith at Colonial Williamsburg, and I heard it.

“I like your shoelaces.”

Oh. Oh no.

I responded the only way I could. “Thanks.” And then I reluctantly added, “I stole them from the president…and if that makes sense to you, I’m very sorry.”

The poor man, in full Colonial dress, stared at me for a long moment. And then burst into laughter. And said, “I haven’t thought about that in YEARS and this has never happened to me before.”

Yeah. Me neither. Not until today.

Tumblr rite of passage. Achievement unlocked.

@victoriansecret I found your friend!!!

modern social media should stop offering "sync with your phone contacts to follow them" options and start offering "block all your phone contacts so they never see your account" options

I Defeated the Demon Lord but it Turns Out the Demon Army was Largely Unaffected and I Fell Victim to a Flawed Belief in Great Man Theory

I Executed The Demon Lord With One Flawless Strike And After A Brief Power Struggle The New Demon Government Is Substantially More Committed To The War Because Of Some Reason I Don't Know

I Successfully Overthrew The Demon Lord And Instituted Demon Democracy But They Voted For A Commie So The CIA Not Some Fantasy Equivalent The Actual CIA Who Have Known About Magic And Alternate Realms The Whole Damn Time But Won't Just Unisekai Me Launched A Counter Coup And That's When Things Really Went To Shit

best moments in gaming journalism

highlights:

  • “What’s with all the fucking gaijin in this area?” “Dude, don’t say that, use gaikokujin, it’s nicer.” “Oh, shit, right. What’s with all the fucking gaikokujin in this area?”
  • “The breaded pork cutlet bento box is like mega power. More than ramen. That’s accurate.”
  • all of them start dragging kiryu for his shitty cheap shirt for five minutes
  • “Shooting people sends a message.” “So does shooting anything.”
  • (after being told that massage parlors, mahjong, and hostess clubs were cut from the US version) “I feel sorry for the people who bought the American version. SEGA USA sucks.”
S: I don’t know any ex-yakuza running orphanages. K: There was one a few years ago. A good guy. M: You sure it wasn’t just a tax shelter? K: Sure it was a tax shelter but he ran it like a legitimate thing. You know.
“Author’s note: A heated discussion takes place as to whether the game is stereotyping the yakuza, which is resolved when Midoriyama, a now-retired former mid-level faction boss, points out that the stereotypes about the yakuza are more or less correct, with the exception of their alleged prowess in martial arts.“
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smoqueen-deactivated20251108

i’ve seen these quotes a hundred times but never the full article — 200k notes and i’ve never seen someone mention the guy saying “they should let kiryu smoke meth”

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