Your dialogue is stiff because everyone is being too honest
Great dialogue can come from radical emotional honesty. But in most real conversations, people
- dodge questions
- answer indirectly
- lie (badly)
- change the subject
- crack jokes to avoid serious answers
- lie (convincingly)
- say half of what they mean
- tell the truth but get so anxious/angry/defensive others now think they're lying
If your dialogue feels unnatural, it might be because everyone is saying exactly what they think, or articulating their thoughts too well. Try letting characters hide things instead.
Subtext is where tension lives.
more so,
- people don’t always speak in full sentences,
- slang can change depending on age range, demographic, etc. &
- don’t be scared of vocal pauses (uhm, uh, err)
This is weirdly bad writing advice that won't get you anywhere good, unless you, dunno, only do roleplay.
Don't do this.
Instead, decide what the scene is meant to convey and make your characters act accordingly. Subtext needs Text to exist first.
Don't make characters speak like "real people" because real people's conversations are meandring, pedestrian and uncompelling. Character being a liar/joker will not magically make their dialogue less "stiff" - it will just make it cluttered and hard to follow. Show these qualities in prose, leave the dialogue concise.
