Art! It’s much more relaxing.

-a single artful tear rolls down my cheek- In the winter of 1991, my mother was struggling to feed her young daughter—me. She had lost her job because of being falsely accused by a man of stealing the Stelemi Diamond. We grew up in hard times, Mr. Poitroast, I will not deny it.

I grew to resent that man, the one who ruined my mother. Every day I dreamed of destroying him. But he was ever out of reach for a lowly girl like me. I reinvented myself, learned grace and charm, climbed the ladder, became a lady… but my eyes never left the target at the end. Every coy action, every step taken, brought me to this moment. I found allies on my way, those ruined by the same careless hand as my mother was. And now, at last, my mother’s honor can be avenged.

For you see, Mr. Poitroast, the man who ruined my mother was you. I knew nothing short of a truly bombastic murder would draw the self-proclaimed “world’s greatest detective” out of his ivory tower. It could not simply be gruesome. It had to be a production, something that made for an exceptional story, another feather in your taxidermy hat. I shall never forgive you for ruining my mother with your baseless accusations. You always get your man—even if you must frame them yourself. It took ages to plan a crime grand enough, and a whole village of those you slighted to pull it off. I must give especial props to our victim, for enacting each and every gristly detail so realistically that I almost stopped myself to check his pulse each time.

But instead, I must congratulate you, Mr. Poitroast. You will indeed grace the front page of tomorrow’s paper… your final case, you might say. Going out with a splash. You’ve made plenty of victims, Mr. Poitroast—

-from the shadows, the very-alive Lord Fumblefrumpton emerges, wiping the stage blood from his face and removing the gag arrow as he raises a sausage the length and weight of a bowling pin over his head-

But now you will finally get to be one.

Alas I am vanilla… it was Death Note. My friends all read it so I did too, and when it came out we watched it for L.

More writing added!

“Ok, nobody panic.”

Twilight was staring at the doll on the table like it was soaked in human blood, or any kind of blood. What it was soaked in was in fact some mildly staining tea.

“We have to stay calm. There’s no reason to freak out.”