blessed with honey, cursed with bees

lifting up an embarrassed trans girl's tented skirt to reveal her wet neopussy

clowngirl getting an orchiectomy and the surgeon just keeps removing ball after ball after ball after ball after

clown nurse standing by solemnly adding each successive ball to the ones she's already juggling

source

one of my favorite glados gags is she keeps pretending she went places. she's like i went outside today. girl you did not go anywhere.

what did tumblr look like back in the 90s

this says tubr

it was the 90s 

every so often i think about this post and how it was completely spur of the moment from the jump and it all just kind of pieced together perfectly. really beautiful. really truly beautiful honestly.

Drinking it to gain the proportionate strength and speed of a cola!

From "Nova Express" by William S. Burroughs, 1964

Reminder I post fun stuff on my reading blog too.

Me: (age regressing while hooked up to a huge machine) AUUUUUU

Team of scientists checking my monitors: If she goes much further, we might have the first recorded bronze age regression.

[huge explosion]

Scientist: something is wrong! The littlespacetime manifold is collapsing!

Me: AUUUUU [Rapid and panicked proto-indo-european syllables]UUUUU

I'm this many -> 🥉

I'm learning so much about princesses on tumblr dot com

when i find someone who isn't creeped out by my small furby collection then i'll know i've found the one.................

you want me to fuck you within an inch of your life and then you're gunna roll over and cringe at them?? fuck you. i AM them. they just fucked you within an inch of your life actually. get used to it

i found her diving in the goodwill bins she was basically FREE!!!!!

This was on a post discussing shit parents doing a new satanic panic. Valid points all around but. But I’m crying. This is the funniest lie ever, no parody I could come up with this will be this funny. Nonbinary Julius Cesar

It's him, Julius xi/xir