dog

hey all, it's been a long while since I've logged onto this account. I think I'd like to use it more. I think it's been a little over a year since I've logged on here.

Anyways I can update a bit on my life. I've been doing a lot of crazy things. But I won't bore you with that. I met the love of my life last November and we've been very happy, our one year anniversary is at the end of next month. I'm in college and going for film, I'm really struggling in it though. I'm struggling in general. But I'm trying to get better.

shout out to nonhumans who:

- have complex queer identities

- use contradicting queer labels

- push the boundaries of gender and sexuality

- use their species as their gender

- physically identify as nonhuman due to a mental condition

you are all awesome, and I love you

the struggle of not living in the climate your species is meant to live in. It's sooooo hot. I need to be somewhere cold,,

any other Chihuahuas on this site?? I feel like I've never seen one before, I feel so lonelyyyy

Got too dog brained and tried to run on all fours and was immediately humbled, my wrist hurts now,, gah

Super secret tip for canids, go to a dog bakery. Why? The treats are usually made with human grade ingredients. Also, they just taste good. I am munching on a cinnamon and pumpkin dog treat right now. So good.

Tooth transformations are always interesting. I feel the need to bite and chew. I really need to buy some chewtoys...

Being a dog so deeply effects my gender. My gender is far from what a human gender is. My gender is dog, my body is dog, my mind is dog, everything is dog. I cannot put into words what my gender really even is, other than the word "dog." I'm just a dog, nothing more and nothing less.

Seems I've angred a couple of people simply by existing and not being enough of a clinical cyanthrope for them. Not that my medical information is anyone's business, but my clinical cyanthropy is confirmed by my psychiatrist. Remember that you dont see my daily suffering, you arent with me 24/7 seeing the pain i experience from my disorders. The never ending sleepless nights spent in fear from terrifying hallucinations and delusions. My inability to function as a normal human because the fact is that im just not one. Just because I include myself in the therian community does not make me any less of a clinical cyanthrope. I find comfort in that community because Ive been apart of it for so long. Just because something doesn't work for you doesn't mean it can't work for me. That's all I have to say on that, my account is a place of peace and happiness that welcomes all nonhumans, delusional or not 🖤

edit: I know it's not just me that has caused this anger with a select few people, but I know that my recent posts about my experiences are apart of it. I truly don't really care, all i have to do is turn my phone off and boom its gone. I am not angry at these people, nor do I wish hate upon them. I hope despite their hate towards me they have a lovely day 🖤

I came to terms with being a clinical cyanthrope when I got my official schizophrenia diagnosis about 2 months ago. I always have known I'm schizophrenic, and accepted that, but did not want to accept the fact my alterhumanity is a delusion. I tried to pass off my experiences as therianthropy, and have since I was 9 years old, but it was never really correct. I've recently strayed away from the therian label as it just doesn't fully describe my experiences. I use the terms interchangeably, as I still feel a deep love and appreciation for the therian community, and do feel very much apart of it despite not really being a therian. It's hard to just drop a community ive been apart of for almost a decade, and honestly i dont want to because i have experienced nothing but love and acceptance from the therian community. I am slowly learning to accept that I am a clinical cyanthrope. I am proud of what I am despite my suffering.

sweet friend I met today 🐾

Maybe I will make a clinical zoanthropy and endel forum site. Discords seem difficult for me to manage, but this seems easier. Who knows

Awful painful transformations today. Started with my teeth then my muzzle. Moved down into my legs. My legs hurt so bad I couldn't use them for a solid 45 minutes. My organs and ribs began to hurt aswell. Laying in bed to recover.

angry I can't itch my ears with my back legs

anyone know of endel or clinical zoanthrope discord servers? I'm okay with therian servers, but I want to be in servers dedicated to delusional alterhumans and zoanthropes. A lot of therian discords tend to not like the idea of "physically" shifting so its hard to explain my experiences with transformation there. Maybe I will make one?

being a clinical cyanthrope/lycanthrope who has hallucinations of all canid species can be quite difficult. I often am not sure what species I will be at any given moment. Am I a wolf today? A golden Retriever? A dhole? The list goes on. Certain species tend to resurface more than others. I've noticed the kangal is one of the most common for me, and the Chihuahua. The arctic fox is also pretty common. Transformations often become jumbled and confusing, but when I'm in my dog mind I don't seem to really care.