Dumbledork

top five worst ways to be found:

5. out

4. guilty

3. wanting

2. lacking

1. by this email

It has come to my attention that I forgot about dead

idk obviously dying is pretty bad but by the time youre found dead its not really your problem

Haunted house horror movie where the humans are house flippers and the audience is rooting for the ghost to kill them before they tear down all crown molding and paint all the wood.

Maybe the most damming thing about Nolans odyssey is i haven’t seen a single gifset from it

Is there a word for occupying the space where normies think you're a freak and freaks think you're a normie?

I tell a woman with a 9 to 5 office job about the slightly niche speculative fiction novel I just finished and she goes "Oh, that's...interesting. I hadn't heard of that."

I tell a grungy chick I met at a dive bar about the same book and she kinda scoffs and goes "Okay" like I said my favorite show is Sesame Street

this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this

im never leaving this hellsite

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!

When you see a Prep in hottopic

“This Prep is ready for war bring it you emo fuck”

why are people reblogging this again

this post is like 11 years old

WHY AREYALL DOING THIS

We’re all having a midlife crisis leave us be

hey

fuck you LOL

Is the guy in the cuck chair supposed to stay quiet or is he allowed to clap and cheer

he's supposed to take notes and make an intrigued hum when an interesting plot point occurs

one is getting cucked by the bottom and the other is getting cucjed by the top. Subject matter experts discussing the sex like a sports panel

One cuck always lies, the other always tells the truth. You have one question to determine who’s a top and who’s a bottom.

apple bottom jeans — this is a reference to the apple that was eaten from the forbidden tree of Eden

boots with the fur — this references the way Adam and Eve had to clothe their nakedness once they had eaten from the Tree

the whole club was lookin’ at her — traditionally it is Eve’s fault for succumbing to the temptation, and most scholars blame her and future women for original sin

she hit the floor — this is a reference to the snake, who was cursed to crawl in the dust

next thing you know — the Lord immediately responded to kick them out of the Garden of Eden

shawty got low, low, low, low, low, low, low, low — this represents the way humanity fell from grace and gave in to temptation, and was repelled from the garden

Has anyone tagged @apocrypals?

You did

Until death, all defeat is psychological.

vibes

forced to say “it’s okay!” Instead of throwing a fucking chair at their head

Why does your post have lingerie on

God forbid a bitch be feeling herself while mentally ill in this economy 😢

Entity of pure hate and malice just did a cute pose and made heart hands after killing everyone in its path

Do not fall for the grindset mentality; jerk off and eat a hot pocket to recover spiritually

Good point. We should jerk off and *throws dart* eat some pork bao. Or if you're vegetarian we could *spins comically sized wheel* eat some samosas. What's truly important is we have to jerk off. Together.

You just don't get this on other sites

Human beings b like. *sits and stares peacefully at a fire* *sits and stares peacefully at the ocean* *sits and stares peacefully at a sleeping animal*

a small rhythmic motion: is happening

us for 6 million years and counting: talented brilliant showstopping incredible

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

“You call us livestock, but you don’t treat us like livestock. You don’t make sure each of us has been fed, you don’t protect us from predators in the night, you don’t help deliver our young or tend to our ills. You’re not a farmer, you’re a parasite, and we will deal with you accordingly.”

Castlevania coded