when i'm stuck in a plane crash situation and there's a perfectly good matt johnson next to me
maybe it will post this time. my dirties edit
I/me/myself by will wood
and I think that I loved you the whole time 💚
The Beths on digital during their Summer '26 U.S. tour
ok im really curious do you guys have books you consider your "white whale"? as in books you keep telling yourself oh yeah i really want to read that, but you keep not reading it?
like, and I'm trying to articulate a response to the end of The Dirties that doesn't just feel like saying the obvious, but it really is SO heartbreaking... Matt has made it very clear "I want to hurt the bad guys and only the bad guys". it's on his shirt. and he seems to think that if he's just very upfront, everyone will take him at face value and understand
but he's become increasingly divorced from reality, and he's treating this like a movie where this is the big hero moment and he's just standing up to the bullies, but I think he's not quite processing the fact that he is taking real lives. and that, outside of a movie, there are such genuine consequences to that
and while he has his strict morals of "I wouldn't hurt anyone I don't believe deserves it", the fact that he's actually willing to kill anyone at all is FRIGHTENING in reality
and so Owen brushes it off and he puts the distance between them and I think he just kind of hopes Matt isn't serious, that this is just a fake movie. but Matt IS serious. and Owen sees what Matt is capable of, and despite probably knowing in his logical brain that Matt would never hurt him, of course he's scared. because the same part of his brain that knows Matt would never hurt him also believed Matt would never kill anyone, so all the rules suddenly don't matter anymore. Matt has actually killed, and it's interesting how he is different than your average school shooter. he's precise, he's focused, he's not trying to simply kill as many people as he can as fast as possible. he has specific targets. this is about The Dirties exclusively
but Owen's just seen his best friend kill two guys, so he's SCARED, and he runs. I think there's also potentially the fear that after distancing himself from Matt, maybe Matt's feelings have changed, but I think even if they were in a great place, you'd be fucking scared to see your best friend come in and murder people
but Matt still doesn't get it. he's been telling Owen exactly what he planned to do. why should Owen suddenly be freaked out that it's happening?
it's just that sort of like... Matt was SO serious and no one believed him. but now he's lost as to why Owen's upset and scared so he's like "hey, dude. it's me." and it's so heartbreakingly sad because he still thinks everything's the same. he just so much does not understand that he has irrevocably changed his entire world. he's going to jail. he recorded his own footage of the act. best case scenario, some level of insanity plea because he does truly seem divorced from reality. but he is going to be punished. it's not just you as you've always been anymore. he created a new path the second he pulled the trigger, and there's no going back
I have to wonder how the rest of it plays out, but I think it's important to leave it there. hanging in the moment. an awareness that it's all so totally fallen apart, but the consequences haven't quite caught up yet. the police have yet to arrive. Matt's with Owen. you can live in this moment where, looking at Owen, you know things are fucked, but looking at Matt, it's not quite over yet. everything's hanging in the balance
but I do wonder about the after. does Owen ever visit Matt in prison? does he cut him off completely? do people believe he's complicit to some degree, seeing as he was Matt's friend and he was bullied too? does he have to move schools? how does his life progress past this moment? he hasn't ruined it in the same way, but he'll be living with the consequences of Matt's actions just the same. the trauma, the guilt, the knowledge that if he took it more seriously, maybe he could've done something to prevent it. the cognitive dissonance of remembering Matt as his friend but knowing him now as a murderer
what kind of life can he build for himself now? how does this carry with him long after the gunshots have stopped ringing out? does he ever have a normal life? a family and a job? does he go to college? does he keep working on guitar with Mr. Bird or is he just too sick with guilt?
can Matt even take jail seriously? or does he treat all of that as its own movie? what does he do when he gets out? if, he gets out. maybe he has therapy as part of his sentence. maybe he becomes more in tune with reality and has to come to terms with what he did. maybe he maintains that it was the right thing to do. maybe he'd do it again
there's also just the question of Jared in all of this. we know that he's there. and while Matt sets up cameras in the hall for some of the angles, Jared clearly follows him down the hall to catch him with Owen. so, Jared's complicit. completely unflinching about Matt killing two people. determined to get the shot. he's almost just as bad as Matt. I'd consider him an accessory, but I think it's just interesting.... outside the narrative I get it's just a sort of functional thing to keep the audience in the loop, but Jared being there always causes such delicious and sometimes insane implications when you really think about it!!
what an insane film, what the HELL, Matt Johnson, Evan Morgan, and Josh Boles???
