Another one taken from the webtoon collection. I've been thinking about this recently because I've been thinking of socially going by another name than the one that I chose and have been using for three years. It's a little awkward the second time I do this, so I've been going extra slow. So far there is no rush because I don't hate the name i'm trying to phase out unlike my deadname. I'm in another phase of two groups of people knowing me as different names.
Gender identity update! Being on T has given me some perspective, and I wanted to draw about it.
I strangely feel nonbinary and binary at the same time, but not equally.
The amount of nonbinary I feel fluctuates from day to day as well. I'm still going to use the boyflux label even though it describes fluctuating masculine identity instead of a fluctuating nonbinary identity. It's close enough. I do think nonbinary man also describes me very well.
This is a story from when I was Pre- T. He knew I was trans and was chill with it. I was picking up that this guy kind of liked me (over eager over anything I say, reminded me of a puppy dog). I was not matching this over eager enery but I liked having conversations with him. We were walking home in the same direction, when THIS happened.
I think this outburst was tied to him being into me, but he was really confused about it? Maybe trying to prove his masculinity even though he likes the queer person? That's the energy I got in the moment, but we'll never truely know. I haven't seen this guy for months.
For years I felt like if showed any femininity people would take me less serious as a man because of my sex assigned at birth. I felt like I had to do a performance so that I would be respected as my gender. I'm still working out how much was imposed on me by standards passed onto me by my family, and what was me coping with dysphora by leaning into dude bro standards. Lots of internalized transpobia, lots of repressing my feelings. Trying to unlearn it is both freeing and absolutely terrifying.
I don't know why I think of it like this way. I look down think of a field of wheat or something that I am growing on my arms. New hairs have sprouted as fast as it takes seeds to germinate. Rise little seedlings, rise!
It ain't much but it's honest work.
obviously I combined two seperate comics here since I like this idea so much I did it twice. the first one was from week 1 on T and the second I made like a week ago... uhhhhh week four or five?