hush, little lamb! 🩸⛓️

this is dark af like really sick and twisted so shoo away if you're faint of heart!

im serious goooo!!!

listen to the song it's awesome!!!

cw: gore, death, nudity, drinking blood, cannibalism!

the empty glass hits the table as simon hisses through gritted teeth, downing the burning liquid past his throat. one third of a glass before he begins.

knife. check. chains. check. ducttape. check. gun? he hopes he won't have to use it.

all the while watching through the window. always watching. eyes sharp like a hawk. never wavering.

you haven't been yourself lately. you don't leave the house as much anymore. and when you do, you always come back too late at nights. often drunk too. stumbling to the door and barely making it to your floor. you don't doll yourself up anymore like before. your smile has faded too.

yet you always look pretty in his eyes. the prettiest...

it breaks his heart.

but now he knows. finally, he's found a way to help you. fix you.

arguments with simon don't happen often. but when they do, they're devastating.

it's almost always about you doing something wrong in his eyes. not doing it the right way. his way.

you see, he has a map of everything. everything that will happen and should happen. if something deviates from his plan even a little bit, all hell breaks loose.

but it's not the way you might think. there are no throwing hands or screaming matches. maybe he yells once. only once. and that one time is more than enough to shut you up for the entire day. the venom in his furious voice does the job really well.

then it's quiet. dangerously quiet. alarming, almost. he goes completely silent. but that's not what breaks you the most. it's that he avoids you. completely. as if you don't even exist. he takes himself away from you and leaves you aching for him for far too long.

and in times like these, you realize how utterly cruel he is.

you spend the whole day in your own space. alone. cold. grieving. longing for his warmth. for him to notice you just once. but it never comes. not even a glance.

you don't know when the tears begin to fall as you stare at the shattered pieces of your heart. you miss his embrace. his eyes. him.

until the throbbing ache in your head and the exhaustion pull you into a deep black unconsciousness.

and when night falls, he's engulfed by shame and regret of what he's done upon witnessing your devastated state.

then he's finally pulling you into him as you both lay in bed, trembling hands tightly holding on as if he's afraid you'd vanish from his arms at any moment, plagued by the thought of you finally realizing you deserve better than him.

and he's chanting an endless string of apologies, forehead pressed to your temple. as if you're the only thing surrounding his world, encompassing his whole mind and soul, a deity he's praying to, begging for forgiveness.

your throat feels tight with a persistent lump that's accompanied you the whole day as a few stray tears leave your eyes and dampen his skin too, clawing at his already aching heart.

"you break my heart, si."

your first words to him on this cursed day, the pain and sorrow in your broken voice clear as day to him. he curses himself for hurting you. again.

"i know, love..." he says, "promise i'll be better."

he prays that you believe him.

you take in his words. will he really?

eventually, you reach for him and turn to face him. you finally look into each other's eyes for the first time after that damned fight.

both you and him, hearts broken and souls wounded, promise to be better for each other and get through it together.

there will be more...

a/n: lowkey the realest shit i've ever written. this is what i want with simon riley :')

lmk if you wanna be tagged <3

taglist: @scaleniusrm @icantbn0rmal2

professor price who's cheating on his wife with younger student reader continues...

one day you see him at the store after class. with her. you'd seen pictures if his wife, but never in person. they don't seem close. they're talking about what brand of laundry detergent to get. it all seems too forced. almost mechanical. or are you being a fool, imagining stuff to soothe your own heart?

he spots you in his peripheral, but looks away before you know it, focusing on her instead. until she leaves for another aisle. and finally, he approaches you.

you can see the fire burning in his eyes. "hi." you offer a lovesick smile. he doesn't speak, just grabs your hand and drags you away to a hidden corner, before slamming your back to the stack of groceries and crashing his lips onto yours.

the kiss is messy and sloppy, just like the emotions coursing through you. it's full of unspoken words, but known in your hearts. it's sinful. a forbidden love.

he pulls away slowly, panting against your wet swollen lips. "looking good, sweetheart." he murmurs. you're wearing his favorite dress on you. it's a casual summer dress that he gifted you on your birthday. it highlights your softness and angelic features, driving him absolutely crazy. "thanks." you reply, dazed smile never leaving your face.

he gives you a quick kiss before stepping away, haphazardly grabbing a bottle of shampoo and leaving you to go find her again. you follow behind him and hide behind the shelves. "where were you?" you hear her ask him. "just getting this." he responds.

and you watch with tears in your eyes as he places a hand on the small of her back as they walk out, squeezing your thighs together when you remember what he was doing to you earlier today. it's as if you can still feel him inside you...

ooo that's yummyy (tnx i really needed that 20 bucks im broke af)

18+ MDNI

say you've been teasing john in class. he glances over at you while teaching, his eyes landing on your low cut tank top exposing your pushed up breasts, your short skirt doing nothing to hide your beautiful legs.

but that's not all of course. you notice his gaze, a smirk forming on your lips as you part your legs slyly, showing him that you're not wearing any panties.

suddenly his words fall into a short stammer, but he gathers his composure quickly by looking down and clearing his throat.

you giggle to yourself.

and on break, you receive a text from him, 'stay after class'. you know what that means. this is not gonna end well for you. you squeeze your thighs together at the thought.

and when you're alone with him in the locked class, he grabs you with firm hands and bends you over his desk, your skirt hiking up in the process to expose your bare pussy.

"you're a little tease, aren't you, pretty girl?" he says, a rough hand suddenly coming in contact with your pussy. you gasp as he slides a finger along your folds, feeling how wet you already are for him.

"you know i have no patience for this behavior, don't you?" he adds, suddenly landing a firm slap on your pussy. a surprised yelp escapes your lips.

he grabs your hair and yanks your head back, "and what's with wearing these clothes?" he hisses, "putting on a show for everyone?" another slap. much harder than the last. "huh, little slut?"

"p-please, i'm sorryyy, s-sir" you cry, broken words leaving your mouth as he goes on spanking your soaked pussy, following by rubbing it as if to soothe the pain.

"you're gonna pay, princess." he purrs before taking out his cock, already hard and throbbing, and shoves it inside your needy cunt without warning. you scream and clutch the edges of the desk.

the way he slams into you with vigorous thrusts sends shockwaves right through your spine, stretching your unprepped walls so wide the sting will surely remain for days.

your knees nearly give out, but he holds your hips in a bruising grasp. the sinful sounds of skin slapping against skin and your unrestrained moans fill the room, resulting in him slapping a hand against your mouth to muffle your loud noises. "wanna get caught, you whore?"

he chases his peak with desperate movements, trying so hard to contain his own loud sounds, letting out only breathy grunts as he watches how his thick cock drives in and out of your soaking wet pretty pussy.

and when he finally reaches his high, it's absolutely filthy. with a stuttered groan muffled by your shoulder, load after load of hot thick cum spills deep inside your cunt, pumping you full of his seed. and when he pulls out his softening cock, it oozes out your sloppy folds.

"up you go, pretty." he pats your ass, sorting himself out as you're left utterly ruined, still panting heavily and trying to calm your breaths and racing mind.

you stand on wobbly legs, walking out with a slight limp while his cum drips down your thighs.

gonna continue this fo sho with more drama and feelsss 👀

18+ MDNI can't stop thinking about married price x younger reader and how he fucks you...

the way john sinks into your warm cunt after a long day, letting out a sigh into your neck, relieved that he finally has you all to himself just like he's been thinking about all day...

the way the sheer girth of his cock splits you open like you've never experienced before with any man, making you feel every ridge and vein sliding against your sensitive walls that leaves you ruined and his completely...

the way he has you on your back, his giant form engulfing you entirely, bodies pressed together and drenched in sweat, his hairy chest squishing your breasts as he thrusts into you so soo deep and hard it reaches places that has you screaming his name just the way he loves...

the way he kisses you while slowly fucking you, claiming you with hungry, frantic movements, saliva everywhere as his tongue slips through your lips and explores your mouth sloppily while holding your jaw in a firm grip as if you're gonna move away, biting your bottom lip and licking the metallic taste of blood, leaving you breathless and your lips bruised and swollen...

the way he grinds into you, not thrusting in and out, just a deep grind and roll of his hips that has your toes curl and your eyes roll back into your skull, your legs closing involuntarily around his waist, nails raking all over his back and teeth sinking into his shoulder that would surely leave him bruised the next day...

the way he overstimulates you, thick cock drilling into your sloppy poor cunt that's feeling too sensitive and raw from all the orgasms he's pulled from you. "shh, it's okay, love. just one more." he coos, "you can give me one more, princess. right?" and you babble away some incoherent words in your dazed state as he pushes you over the edge for the nth time, "theeere you go. my good girl."...

but the bubble you've created bursts when his wife calls. "fuckin hell" he grumbles, head dropping onto your shoulder in disappointment as he slowly pulls out, shushing your little wince by a quick kiss before leaving to answer his phone...

toxic!simon mayhaps? 🤷🏻‍♀️

"simon, please." you whisper within a hair's breadth of his lips.

you hate it with all your being. hate that you have to beg for something as simple as this. is it too hard to say i love you?

he's panting, breathless from the searing kiss he just gave you, your jaw in his firm hand as his enchanting brown eyes lock onto yours. his heart is pounding in his chest, threatening to burst any second.

he feels the weight of the words on his soul as he repeats it over and over in his mind. he feels them forming on the tip of his tongue, threatening to spill. almost.

you're in no better condition. lips bruised and swollen from his kiss as you still feel the ghost of his lips on yours, eyes glossy with fresh tears, make-up ruined and smeared all over your face, cheeks dampened with streaks of tears. choking on the heavy lump forming in your throat, you wait. and wait. you'd wait for all eternity if it meant for him to be yours.

his hand drops and his gaze slips away. "i- i..." he stammers. pinching the bridge of his nose, he tries to gather his wandering thoughts, contain the chaos in his soul.

a moment passes, stretching into an eternity.

his gaze never meets yours again.

and he finally speaks. the voice that once was a soothing balm on your wounded soul, now ripping your world apart.

"this is over."

and with that, he walks away.

with such inconceivable ease, he tosses aside the shattered pieces of your heart, abandoning all you had, all the love you gave and would give if he stayed, leaving you in fragments of who you once were.

listening to unethical by faouzia got me likeeee...

you fumble with your keys. it's difficult to open the door with shaky hands. but you finally manage. you're too exhausted. and there's only one thing on your mind; curling up in bed with your man.

you kick off your boots and walk in your shared home, dropping your bag in the hallway with a loud thud. that's what lets him know you're back.

finally, simon emerges from the shadows, walking down the hallway to greet you.

"hey, love."

he takes your face in his hands. looking you over, he can see how utterly exhausted you are.

you wrap your arms around his neck, droopy eyes locked onto his as he leans in, stealing a kiss from your lips.

"i was just making your favorite."

you can't help but smile. simon had always been the type to show his love with small actions. no big gestures. no loud words. just loving you in his quiet way. and that's what made you fall in love with him in the first place. and every day from then.

"thank you. hope it wasn't too much work." you respond, resting your head on his chest as he wraps his strong arms around you in a much-needed warm hug.

"not at all, love. i just hope it's edible enough."

you chuckle, looking up at him, only to be met by his loving eyes. you can never get over his eyes. the deep brown, laced with the emotions he keeps locked away, the profound pain that courses through his veins, and the burning devotion he harbors for you in his heart. all on display right before your eyes.

"it will get cold, love."

his deep voice pulls you out of your trance, his tone slightly teasing. and you notice the knowing smirk plastered on his face. "right." you look away quickly, suddenly feeling shy.

simon leads you to the table, placing the delicious looking meal he prepared in front of you.

despite his calm demeanor, his heart is doing flips in his chest, hoping that it's all to your liking.

you quickly dig in, taking in the mouth-watering aroma before taking a spoonful of the food and bringing it to your lips, tasting the delectable flavor that you love.

you close your eyes and let out a delighted moan, making him chuckle and sigh in relief. "that good, huh?"

"hmm. fucking amazing!" you reply, filling your mouth with more of the delicious food.

you don't see the way he smiles at you. as if he's falling in love all over again.

when you're done, simon tags along as you do your nightly routine, sitting on the bed while you organize your stuff for tomorrow, following your every move with adoring eyes.

you stop for a moment, looking his way and smiling for the umpteenth time that night, before going to brush your teeth and do your skincare.

he walks up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and slowly leaning in, lips finding your neck, kissing softly, tenderly.

"it tickles." you giggle with your mouth full of foam. he chuckles into your neck, making you coil into yourself as it tickles even more.

simon watches you in awe while you do your work. and when you're done, he carries you to bed, gently placing you on the newly washed sheets and getting in after you.

he takes you in his arms, pressing your back onto his chest, legs tangled as he holds you tightly. safe and secure. you nuzzle closer into him, smiling to yourself.

"goodnight, love."

"night, si."

you smile softly at his image on your mind. only for it to falter as his phantom starts to fade away. your eyes sting as tears gather at the corners. you squeeze them shut, trying to fight the thoughts away, but fail miserably as it dawns on you that you have to learn to live with the truth that he's not real.

18+ MDNI i'm ovulating! :: simon riley x fem!reader

ever since you and your husband, simon, decided to have children, you've been on each other nonstop, fucking on every surface in the house and knocking over several expensive items while lost in the heat of the moment. doesn't matter. he'll replace them with the ungodly amount of money he has in his account.

he'd bend you over the counter every time he finds you in the kitchen cooking, a thin sundress hugging all your delicious curves just right, images of your swollen belly flooding his mind, full and round with his seed. the food is forgotten every single time. only you and putting a baby in you on his mind.

he'd fold you in half when you're in bed reading, wearing only a tank top that gives him easy access to your tits and leaves your belly exposed and a pair of shorts that accentuates your perky ass. he'd tear them off you and put your legs over his shoulders as he splits you wide open for him.

he finds you absolutely irresistible in every state. you know it as a fact. it bleeds over in his every word and action. yet it doesn't make your worries go away. still, your mind wanders. would he ever get tired?

you push the thoughts away. a feral need bubbling inside you as you think about your husband, his scarred lips on your hot skin, bulky weight pressing you into the mattress as his burly arms cage your body beneath him, broad shoulders holding your legs beside your ears, a large rough hand wrapped around your throat while he's buried to the hilt inside you.

you're ovulating. and you need him right now. so you call him. "si, i need you." and he's on his way. doesn't matter that he's on base in an important meeting. he's leaving right away, ignoring price's shouts of protest. he'll understand when simon tells him later. his wife needs him. and there's nothing more important than that.

you're pouncing on him as soon as he walks through the door. he catches you with ease as you wrap your legs around his waist, kissing him with an untamed desperation.

"sorry, si. i know it was important—"

"doesn't matter, love."

"by the way, i'm ovulating."

"bloody hell, woman. lead with that next time."

immediately, your mouths are on each other, lips and tongues latching onto one another, kissing, nipping, biting every part of skin you can find, covering in saliva and marking each other, hot and heavy, your hands moving desperately across the other's body to grab every piece of flesh.

you're discarding each other's clothes when you mention it. breathing shakily as your movements subside, looking away from his intense eyes, you finally tell him.

"si, i'm worried that it becomes a chore."

he stops.

looking you over, an expression of utter disbelief takes over his face.

"a chore?" he finally speaks, voice laced with subtle mockery.

you look into his eyes for a moment, only to shy away again and look down.

he guides you to lay back on the bed as he hovers above you.

leaning in, dangerously close, his lips graze yours. he grabs your jaw to make you look at him, eyes darkened as he speaks in a deep voice.

"you think fuckin my wife is a chore for me?"

you don't dare to respond.

his lips capture yours briefly, only to slide down to your jaw, then your neck, coating your skin in a string of saliva as he glides down to your collarbone, tracing its line with his lips as his hands find your breasts, squeezing as if it's a warning to your previous words, his calloused skin a delicious contrast on your silky smooth one that makes you go wild. his lips wrap around your hard nipples, sucking and licking as you moan softly for him. he chuckles at your reaction, causing heat to spread across your cheeks.

he grabs your hips, kissing your exposed belly and covering the expanse of it with his hand, gently touching as he thinks about filling you up, all soft and swollen with his seed growing inside you. his hard cock throbs at the mere thought of it, dripping precum onto the sheets as his hips jerk forward involuntarily and he humps the mattress.

his lips reach your mound and he stops just above your slit, lifting himself up on his hands. his adoring eyes marvel at your beauty, drinking in the literal work of art splayed out before him. his pupils are blown out, eyes completely black as he looks at you and leans in, rough fingertips sliding up and down your wet slit, spreading your arousal along your folds.

"you think i'd ever get tired of this pussy?"

you gulp audibly. his hot breath fanning against your lips, he cups your pussy with one large hand, his middle finger sliding through your folds and teasing your entrance.

you gasp. "please, si..."

you grasp his shoulders in a desperate hold as he goes on teasing you.

"please what, darling?"

a sly smirk spreads across his face, only adding to your frustration.

"please. i need you inside me, si." you beg, "please, si. need your cock so bad."

in that moment, he thinks you're the most beautiful you've ever been, pleading so sweetly for him, sprawled out beneath him like an offering, all for him to take.

his lips are on yours in an instant, spreading your legs further apart and pushing your knees to your chest before propping them over his shoulders.

he slides into you so easily, your soaking wet pussy ready to take him in, thick throbbing cock splitting your needy cunt open. his lips never leave yours as he lets out a groan into your mouth, mixing with your whiny moans as you're all stretched out by his fat cock.

"fuck! look at this greedy pussy," he breathes in between kisses, bottoming out inside you, "so fuckin wet and desperate for me."

giving you no time to adjust, he starts thrusting in and out ferociously, yet with the meticulous precision of a man on a mission.

"fuckin swallowing me whole, baby." he grunts, "like you were made for me."

his relentless assault on your needy cunt leaves no room for you to breathe, only choked out moans slipping through your lips.

"fuuuck, siiii.... ahhh—"

"fuckin pussy was made for me." he groans in your ear, "made for me to fuck. all mine. forever."

his strong hips slam into you, heavy balls slapping your ass repeatedly as your wet pussy squelches to accommodate his hefty size. the obscene sound echoing through the room.

"gonna breed this pretty pussy, love." he hisses, "so fuckin tight f’me. so, so lovely. "

your hands run across his muscular back and biceps, nails raking over his skin as you lose your mind entirely in an overwhelming state of bliss.

you're a fucked out mess, your hair splayed all over the pillows, skin dampened with beads of sweat, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure and mouth falling agape with broken moans as your husband ruins you.

"fuckin look at you, love." he says, " you're so fuckin beautiful."

"siii, please— ahh..."

"i know, baby. i know. let it out. let me hear you."

of course you obey, letting him hear your desperate moans as you beg him to fill you up.

"you think i'd ever get tired of this?" he says, delivering a particularly sharp thrust that knocks the air out of your lungs, "think again, sweetheart."

he reaches over, large hand wrapping around your throat, not squeezing, just holding in a secure grip. his eyes are fixated on yours, darkened with lust, yet filled with an unspoken sincerity.

"tell me what you want, love. want me to breed you? huh?"

"yes— yesss plsss sii ahh— fill me up... breed me"

a familiar sensation starts approaching, a tightness coiling inside your belly, your moans and whimpers turning higher, walls growing tighter around him, signaling him that you're close.

"let go for me, baby. cum on my cock."

he's fucking you so vigorously your head spins wildly, fat tip reaching far deep inside you and slapping against your spongy cervix over and over again.

in less than a moment, you're flooded with an all-consuming sense of pure ecstasy, screaming his name as your muscles convulse and shake beneath him, your soaked cunt clamping down on him and creaming around his shaft.

"that's it, love. give it to me. good girl." he groans, "so fuckin tight, baby... ahh— gonna milk me dry."

his thrusts turn faster and shallow as he reaches his peak. he holds your trembling body tighter and fucks you through your high as his own orgasm approaches. a deep growl escapes his throat as he empties his balls inside you. it's filthy how much he cums. loads and loads of thick white cum painting your womb, his seed filling you up to the brim, plugged up by his cock still seated inside you. and he hopes that it will finally take this time.

18+ MDNI can't get enough of you :: simon riley x fem!reader

simon can't get his hands off you. no matter where you are, at home or in public. and once you're in his grasp, there's no escape. not that you ever want to escape.

whenever you're in his vicinity, his eyes are fixed on you, paying no attention to whatever the hell is happening on the telly or the constant yapping of your friends, no matter how much they yell for him to listen.

his eyes follow your every move, drinking in your otherworldly beauty, with only one thing on his mind; how to get you alone and all to himself.

you're at home, wearing only his shirt and a pair of cute panties, greeting him in the morning with your bed head and puffy face still laced with sleep. you'd think nothing of it but he's done for.

"goddamit, woman. wha' are ya tryin' to do?" he says as a feral need takes over him. he pulls you in his lap, strong arms wrapping tightly around you. no chance to escape. "simon!" you squeak, giggling in your hands.

his lips crash onto yours, stealing your breath in an instant, large hands roaming your body under the shirt, breathing "god, you're so fuckin' hot, love." while squeezing every piece of flesh he can find, guiding you to lay back on the couch, getting in between your legs and humping his growing bulge onto your core. "gotta have you, love. please." simon begs desperately as you try to catch your breath.

and with only a nod, he's taken his hard drooling cock out of his pants and pulled your panties to the side, before impatiently plunging himself inside your tight hole, letting out a sigh of relief into your neck.

he holds you so tight while setting a rapid pace, giving you no time to adjust as you whine and writhe beneath him. he's thrusting with such force and determination you'd think your body is on fire, thick mean cock stretching you so wide and repeatedly punching your cervix you lose your mind entirely.

his hulking body pressing you further into the cushions, hot breath fanning into your neck as he lets out breathy groans beside your ear, using your body to relieve himself.

on nights out with friends at the pub, simon holds you flush against him, hand pressed onto your waist as thoughts of how to ruin you take over his mind.

he can't take it anymore, the bulge in his pants growing by the second, painful and desperate. he needs to have you, feel your body against him. he needs to see your pretty pussy dripping for him as he stretches you out on his fat cock, feel your soft warm walls wrapped around him in a vise.

he breaks the conversation abruptly without a care for the confused looks he's getting.

he pulls you into the bathroom and bends you over the sink, bunching up your dress around your waist before yanking away your skimpy panties, making you gasp and complain about how expensive it was. "shut up. i'll buy you another one."

and with no warning, he shoves his cock into your needy cunt, gripping your hips tightly and slamming into you mercilessly, sending you into a state of feverish ecstasy as you chant his name, loud moans punctuated by each vigorous thrust leaking out the door and reaching the ears of every passerby.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 ⸝⸝

𝑠𝑖𝑚𝑜𝑛 𝑟𝑖𝑙𝑒𝑦 𝑥 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

you're huddled together in bed with your husband. a lazy day spent in bed cuddling and watching trash tv sounded the best after spending four months away on a grueling mission. simon has only one week off before he takes off again. so you plan on making the most of that time while you have him to yourself.

you turn on your side, gazing upon his face that's illuminated by the soft morning sunlight streaming through the linen curtains, a fond smile forming on your lips. simon's laying on his back, one arm stretched out under your head while the other rests on his abdomen. his eyes are shut, yet he's still wide awake. just resting his weary body and mind. he always says that your presence calms him down. it soothes his wounded soul. and only you can do that.

you lean closer, resting your head on his shoulder. you don't look away. you can't. it's like you're hypnotized. his unique beauty captivating you like no other.

your eyes move across his face, drawing imaginary lines as you go over the creases on his forehead, varying in shape and depth as the emotions that created them. the slight furrow between his eyebrows that seems to never fade. the crow's feet on the corner of his eyes that he claims has been forming because of you. because he never laughed as much before you.

your heart clenches as you find the copious scars scattered across his face, hurt and wonder taking over you as you think over the stories behind each of them, your eyes tracing along the lines, shallow and deep, colored and faded, going over his cheeks, eyebrows and finally, his lips. your mind brings back the feeling of his lips pressed against yours. you always feel the scar when you kiss him. the thin sunken tissue, thicker in the middle and slightly faded on his lips. you smile. you wouldn't change it for the world.

a tender warmth settles in your heart as you gaze upon the man before you. the man who has captured your heart and held it so gently that no one would think possible from someone like him. in that moment, it's like you can feel everything all at once. all the tales of pain and torment he had told you, all the fond memories you have created together over the years flash before your eyes.

simon shifts slightly in his place, pulling you out of your trance. he moves his free arm, resting his forearm upon his eyes as if trying to hide.

"stop looking at me like that."

his deep voice cuts through the silence of the room, bringing your mind back to this world. it's still gruff from sleep and not being used for a long time. he tries to sound stern but there's no severity in his tone.

his eyes were closed the whole time but he must have sensed your unwavering stare.

the adoring smile never leaves your face as you speak.

"like what?"

like i'm worth something. simon wants to say but stops himself.

the silence stretches again.

"like you're my whole world?"

you ask softly, lifting your head and resting your weight on your arm. you lean closer to him, gently caressing the side of his face.

"right. that."

his arm doesn't move, still shielding his eyes.

"well you are, simon."

"hmm."

an uncontrollable heat spreads across his face. as much as he wants, he can't hide the redness forming on his cheeks.

your smile widens.

"please don't hide from me, si."

you grab his arm, slowly removing it from his face and placing a kiss on the back of his hand.

finally, his eyes flutter open. dark turned into honey brown under the faint flow of sunlight veiled by the thin curtains.

your eyes meet. his gaze immediately softens. and his heart nearly melts under the loving look in your eyes.

"hey, si."

"hi, love."

a moment passes, your eyes locked onto one another.

suddenly, simon grabs your waist and turns you on your back, his muscular form hovering above you as you giggle. he locks your lips together immediately, stealing your breath. your lips move together harmoniously, burning with a silent devotion that's present all throughout your relationship. never spoken. but always felt.

you pull away out of breath, panting heavily and grinning widely.

"you're my whole goddamn world too, you know."

he speaks with a wholehearted sincerity. you nod, giggling softly before pulling him in for another kiss.

"after all these years, i still have no fuckin' idea why you'd even look my way, let alone be with me."

"simon, you're the greatest man i've ever met. scars and all. everything that's happened to you. everything that you've done. it's all part of you. i love all of it. i love all of you."

"i don't deserve you. at all."

"you deserve the whole world, si. and more."

"i don't give a fuck about the world. i only want you, love."

you chuckle at his words, kissing him again.

simon has never figured out how he got someone like you. and still thinks he doesn't deserve even an ounce of the love you give him. but he doesn't care. he decides to be selfish.

"never letting you go, love. you're mine. and i'm yours. always."

"that's right, si. all yours. and you're all mine. forever."

art by the amazing @wyvern-whiskey ♡

🫀my everything🫀

john price x depressed!reader

cw: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, brief mention of mental health issues, depressive episode, crying

john exhales and drops his dufflebag by the door, exhausted out of his mind as his heavy boots drag his feet across the hallway.

the lights are out. the house is cold. and you're nowhere to be seen.

it's one of those days, he figures.

that's when he hears it.

a soft rustling sound on the hard wooden floor.

he can't make it out in the dark but he knows it's you. he knows the sound of your footsteps by heart now.

"john?"

your voice is quiet. timid.

his eyes have adjusted to the dark by now.

and he notices your smaller frame standing by the stairs, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.

his heart drops in his chest.

"it's me, sweetheart."

he tries to sound as gentle as he can in order not to scare you away.

his voice is calm. reassuring.

and that's when it breaks.

all the bottled up emotions inside you just burst out as you run to him.

john catches you in his arms. strong. warm. safe.

you wrap your legs around his waist.

he holds you as you sob into his chest.

"j-john... i..."

"shh, sweetheart. it's okay. i've got you."

you cling onto him more, having no intention to let go anytime soon. not that he would let you go anyway.

you finally feel safe. after a long time of suffering alone, you're finally with him again.

his strong arms tighten around you, holding you as you let it all out, soaking his shirt with your tears.

"i'm here now, love. i've got you."

over the years of living together, john has been familiarized with your episodes. he knows his long absences take their toll on you. and your underlying mental health issues don't make it any easier.

"john, y-" your words are cut off by a loud sob.

he shushes you, reaching to wipe your tears away with his thumb, his touch soft and gentle. careful.

"it's okay, love. just breathe for me."

he hates to see you like this. in pain and suffering. shaking with violent sobs in his arms. and he hates that it's all because of him. and that he can't fix it. he feels helpless.

"y-you were gone for so long," you cry, "and i- i was alone..."

your voice comes out broken and strained. like you've been carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. and you have. he knows that. and he hates it. it shatters his heart into pieces to witness this sight of you.

"i know, love. i'm so sorry." he apologizes, an intense wave of guilt crawling under his skin.

"just breathe with me."

he lets out exaggerated deep breaths, getting you to imitate him when your intense wailing make it difficult to breathe.

when you start to calm down a bit, he carries you to the living room and sits on the couch with you in his lap.

you still cling onto him, grasping his jacket tightly and burying your face into his chest, inhaling his familiar scent as it reminds you that he's really here and it's not a dream.

"i've got you, love. i'm here..."

john repeats the words over and over again, as if trying to engrave them in your mind to make you believe.

you wrap your arms around his neck, resting your head on his shoulder as you start to get sleepy, finally feeling at ease and relaxed.

"stay with me?" you murmur, voice hoarse from crying.

"i'm not going anywhere, love. just get some rest."

john grabs the fluffy blanket that you always leave around off the couch and pulls it over your body, arms still wrapped tightly around you as his palms lay flat on your back, rubbing slow soothing circles.

"you're my everything, john. you know that?"

you whisper softly. in a state between sleep and wakefulness. too quiet but he still makes it out.

he pauses. taking in your words.

he knows full well what it's like.

to have your whole world be one person.

and he swears on his life, that he will protect you against anyone and anything.

even your own mind.

"goodnight, love." he whispers as you slowly drift away in his embrace.

he kisses your temple, contemplating if it's time that he retires.

18+ MDNI

john price × fem!reader

cw: rogue!price, dub-con probably, fear, tears, dacryphilia, light choking, rough fingering, degradation, name calling (whore, slut), spanking, pussy rubbing, brat-taming go wrong!, crying, soft sex, praise, wife kink, breeding kink, possessiveness

a/n: this gif did something to me 🫦

john loves you with his whole heart. you're the only one capable to calm the storm in his wandering mind and tame his wild heart. you're the only one who can distract him with your cute laugh and non-stop yapping. sure, you constantly drag him into your stupid shenanigans but what's life without all that? you're his one and only. his girl.

but since this morning, you've been a real pain in the ass.

john admits that he has a short fuse. even more so since he's been a wanted man. and today, you've done nothing but add fuel to the already seething fire. constantly complaining about him not giving you enough attention, bringing up his drinking and smoking habits, but this was the last straw.

"what the fuck was that all about?!" john snarls in your face, jaw clenched and eyes fuming with rage.

your eyes widen. you know he'd never hurt you, but still move instinctively and take a step back.

you've seen him angry. but never like this. never directed at you.

"i-i'm sorry, joh-"

"sorry?" he cuts you off, stepping closer, "i know you're not fuckin' sorry one bit."

earlier today while walking in the park hand in hand after john begrudgingly accepted to accompany you, you came across your friendly neighbor. too friendly for john's liking. so you decided to play a game. to spice things up a bit. by going along with the conversation with playful giggles, a touch on the arm and twirling your hair. and the neighbor didn't seem to mind. actually, he liked it very much. you saw the look on john's face. disgusted. furious. like a guard hound baring its teeth. threatening. ready to attack. and you still kept going. fatal mistake.

"john, i'm really sorry." your voice wavers, tears threatening to spill.

john looks at your glossy eyes and quivering lips, your shaking hands that turn into fists and open again.

you're terrified.

and something snaps within him.

suddenly, his hand is around your throat and his lips crash into yours. the kiss is hungry. ravenous. his fingers digging into your skin and marking you.

john backs you up against the wall, hands grabbing the hem of your short skirt and bunching it up around your waist before yanking away your panties, his lips never leaving yours as he devours you.

he pulls away panting from the messy kiss, your lips wet and swollen, cheeks stained with tears, wide glossy eyes looking back into his lust-filled ones.

you're surprised at his behavior, but you can't deny that it's absolutely welcomed by you.

his thumb brushes along your jaw as he takes in the scene before him. his cock twitching in his pants.

"keep crying, baby." john's voice is deep and dark. commanding.

one hand going back around your throat, suddenly he inserts two fingers inside you.

you gasp loudly. out of surprise, arousal and pain. it echoes through the room as you grab his shoulders tightly.

your eyes roll back in your skull as his thick digits push past your wet folds and stretch your tight hole, reaching far inside, knuckles deep.

the feeling of your soft walls wrapping tightly around his fingers send a wave of shivers down his spine, his jeans becoming too tight by the second.

new tears leave your eyes, cascading down your cheeks as they follow the trails of the past ones.

"look at me, sweetheart." john demands.

his eyes are already fixated on yours as you open them slowly, wet lashes tangling together.

his fingers remain inside you. unmoving. your juices dripping down his hand.

"this what you wanted?" he hisses, "hm?"

your mind swirls around. you want him to move. you need that sweet drag of his thick calloused fingers inside your walls. you crave it.

"when you were flirting with that sick nasty fuckin' twat," john growls, furious as he remembers the man's attempts towards you. he grabs your jaw to make you focus on him, "you wanted to rile me up, didn't you?"

you bite your lip, your hips starting to move involuntarily, absent-mindedly following that desired sensation.

that certainly answers his question.

john lets out an amused chuckle.

"look at you," he smirks, "you like this, you filthy whore."

he pulls out his fingers. not completely. before pushing back in with one swift motion.

you gasp and bite your lip. whimpering.

"you should see yourself right now. beggin' to be fucked like a good little slut. soaking my hand like this," he murmurs into your ear, kissing your tears away, "my dirty little slut."

his throbbing cock starts to ache in the confines of his pants, leaking through the fabric.

moaning as his thumb rubs your clit, you beg, "please, john."

"please what, darlin'?" he asks, caressing your damp cheeks and wiping your tears before his hand lands loosely on your throat again.

"p-please make me cum," you choke out, "on your fingers."

tsk, tsk. john shakes his head, "you've been a fuckin' brat all day."

in an instant, he removes his fingers from inside you, leaving you empty and hollow. you whine loudly at the sudden feeling of emptiness as your walls clamp back together.

john lifts you and carries you over his shoulder to the bedroom. you let out a surprised yelp. he pats your ass, "brats don't get to cum."

he sits on the edge of the bed and bends you over his lap, cool air hitting your most sensitive parts.

his pants feel too tight and painful for his hard cock as it throbs and leaks beneath you.

you bite your lip and grab his leg with both hands. "john..." you breathe, suddenly feeling exposed and vulnerable.

his eyes darken, pupils dilated as his gaze lands on your perky ass and wet pussy, soft folds glistening in the dim light of the room.

"look at this fuckin' mess."

one calloused finger rubs your wet folds, slowly teasing your leaking slit, going back and forth.

you gasp softly at the sudden contact.

john's big rough hand kneads the plush of your ass, before landing a harsh slap on the supple flesh.

you moan out his name and squeeze his thigh.

"gonna behave now, girl?" he rasps, big calloused hand rubbing the delicate skin soothingly as it starts to sting.

you can only hum in response.

"use your words." he demands, landing another rough spank on the already sore spot.

"yes!" you yelp, tears stinging your eyes, "please."

john hums, not entirely convinced yet.

another slap on your aching ass.

"i know you're gonna pull this shit again when you're bored."

another.

"ahh! john, please. promise i won't." you cry out, ass sore and raw.

you're becoming overwhelmed by all the emotions coursing through you.

"hm... you know,"

john's middle finger starts sliding lower to your soaked slit, rubbing slowly.

"when he was lookin' at you like that,"

he rubs your wet folds with two fingers, never entering where you desperately want him.

"i was really, really close to just... going for it."

he goes on touching you as he speaks, rubbing your soaked pussy. teasing. you whimper softly.

"you know? just... punching his fuckin' filthy mouth over and over... leave him to bleed out."

his words, the dark tone in his low voice, the way he's touching you. it's all too much. intoxicating. mouth-watering. terrifying. your nerves start to flare up. it's too much. anxiety creeping in...

and suddenly, you break into uncontrollable broken sobs.

john stops.

"baby?"

his mood shifts immediately. his tone is different, softer as he calls your name.

hurt and confused, john gently moves your shaking form, sitting you on his lap.

"what happened?" he asks, searching your body for any sign of damage, "did i hurt you? i'm so-"

"are you really mad at me?"

your voice breaks as you ask him, rubbing your eyes profusely to stop the tears but to no avail.

the question hits him like a ton of bricks, a frown forming on his forehead. his mouth opens, but closes again without saying anything. his heart shatters in his chest.

john grabs your hands to stop your futile attempts at wiping the never-ending tears, knowing it would only worsen it and hurt you more.

he holds your hands tenderly like they're made of glass, kissing them softly.

"no, no, baby. i-"

"don't lie to me. i know you were. i saw it in your eyes."

your glossy eyes find his dark ones, the pained look on your face throwing him into a pit of guilt.

the frown on his forehead disappears and he sighs, looking down.

"well... i was. at first." john answers. earnestly this time. "but not anymore."

he looks up, reaching to tuck a few strands of hair behind your ear.

"really?" you pout, lips wobbling as you take his face in your hands, looking for any sign of dishonesty. but you find none.

"really." he replies, caressing your wet cheeks and kissing all over your face, "i'm not mad at you, baby."

a moment passes as john holds you to his chest.

"just promise me something, yeah?"

"hm?"

"don't ever do anything like that again."

"i promise, john."

a soft smile forms on your teary face, "promise you're not really mad at me?"

"promise, baby."

john leans in slowly. hesitating at first. breathing you in. finally, he closes the distance. kissing your lips so, so softly. warm. reverent.

"i didn't hurt you, did i?" he asks, pulling away but staying close, lips still touching.

"no, john." you gulp, throat still hoarse from all the crying, "i liked it. really. but then i got nervous. just thought you're really mad-"

"it's okay, baby. i'm sorry. i shouldn't have treated you like that."

"but i liked it."

"clearly, i went too far."

you smile, knowing you can't argue with him anymore. he wipes your tears, his touch soft as a feather.

"just know that i would never hurt you. ever." john admits, voice low and deep. honest to the bone.

"i know, john." you respond, taking his bearded face in your hands, fingers tracing his jawline.

and you kiss him. softly at first. but gradually turning into something deep and passionate. seething. fervent.

"john?"

"hm?"

"fuck me."

he pulls away. and stares. shocked at your boldness. and frankly, he didn't think you'd be in the mood anymore.

"you sure, sweetheart?"

"yes. please, john!"

he chuckles. "eager, are we?"

you giggle against his lips.

john lays you down gently on the bed, lips still attached to yours, only pulling away a moment to take off his shirt and kick off his pants.

you gulp, drinking in the sight. his toned muscles, hairy chest, slight pudge on his belly after being away from the field for a while, and finally, his thick cock that has sprung free, throbbing and leaking.

he removes your clothes as well, treating you with the most gentle touch, revealing your delicate body inch by inch, leaving soft kisses on each part of the exposed skin, caressing your soft breasts and taking each nipple in his mouth to make you moan for him.

"i won't break, you know."

"i can't be rough with you right now, honey. can't forgive myself if i hurt you again."

"you didn't hurt me, john."

"i did. and i'm sorry."

you can see the guilt seeping through the look he gives you.

"i'm sorry too. i shouldn't have done that in the first place. it was stupid."

john slides his fingers up and down your legs, feeling the soft skin as he admires your beautiful body, his touch soothing you.

he parts your legs slowly, kissing both of your knees before pushing them up to your chest, exposing your wet pretty pussy.

he gets in between them and lines himself up, fat tip teasing your folds, your legs placed on his broad shoulders as he holds you in his strong arms, taking your hands and intertwining your fingers.

"ready, baby?"

you nod eagerly.

john pushes inside. slowly. carefully. only the tip at first.

you gasp at the sudden wide stretch.

"too much?" he asks, too scared to hurt you now.

"no, no." you shake your head, encouraging him to go on, "it's ok. more, please."

his thick length slides deeper inside you, opening you up wider as his hips thrust further painfully slowly, inch by inch.

you squeeze your eyes shut and grab his biceps, nail digging into the skin as you whimper and gasp.

"shh, just breathe, baby." john murmurs, "tell me if it's too much."

he slides in deeper, "ahh, fuck! squeezin me so tight, baby." he grunts, finally bottoming out, nestled deep inside you.

you take deep breaths, spread out wide on his cock, his bulky weight pressing down on you.

"you okay?" john asks, concerned frown etched on his forehead.

"yeah. just give me a sec." you nod, grabbing his shoulders to ground yourself.

john captures your lips with his, slowly starting to grind into you, too lost in the feeling of you wrapped tightly around him.

you moan into the kiss, nails digging into his back as he reaches deep within you, his tip brushing against the sweet spot that has your eyes roll back into your skull.

breathless, you pull away, caressing his nape as he places his forehead on yours.

"can we stay like this forever?" you breathe, feeling him pulsating inside you. he chuckles, "i wish."

a moment passes as you relish the feeling of connection and tender love between you.

"sweetheart?" he calls out. giving a deep, slow thrust.

"ahh... yes, john?" you moan.

"sorry for," thrust "takin' it out on you."

"it's alright."

"no, i mean," he pauses, "not just today. i know that... i have been... mistreating you lately."

"shut up and fuck me, john." you whine, trying to buck your hips further up.

"shh!" he slaps your cheek lightly and grabs your hips, keeping you in place, "let me finish, girl."

"finish inside me."

"cheeky."

john grabs your face and kisses your pouty lips. hard and fast. leaving them swollen and craving more.

"i'll stop. the drinking. the smoking. i know how much you hate it. and i'll spend more time with you. promise, baby. what kind of a husband would i be if i don't?"

your heart drops into your stomach at the mention of the word. not that you don't want it. you do. you really do. but you never thought that's what he wants too. not so soon anyway.

"what?" he's confused by your silence, looking into your widened eyes as they search his face for any sign of teasing or mockery.

"husband?" you finally ask.

"of course!" john replies firmly, "what? you thought i'm not gonna marry you?"

he's utterly dumbfounded by your question.

"n-no, it's just that..." you trail off, "well, yeah kind of... at least not now."

"of course, baby." he rasps, "gonna make you my wife. you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

you gasp softly as john delivers a firm thrust, leaky tip hitting your cervix.

"yes, john." you breathe out, his hips grinding into yours, "yes, yes, please."

"good girl." he praises, pulling out and thrusting back inside in one swift motion.

"gonna have my kids too, huh?" he grunts, grabbing your jaw to make your hazy eyes look at him, "want me to fill you up, pretty girl?"

"ahh... yes... p-please." you nod repeatedly, drooling and biting your lip as his hips slam into yours vigorously, angling them just right to hit your sweet spot.

"good" thrust "fuckin" thrust "girl."

his large hands grip your legs, pushing them further up and holding them tightly as his powerful hips plow into you, his cock marking your insides, claiming you.

the familiar pressure builds up in your lower belly, your back arches and your toes curl as you cum around him, hard. a broken moan leaves your mouth, and john follows right after, growling deeply as he fills you up with his hot seed.

"mine." john groans, giving shallow thrusts to push his cum deeper inside you, "my wife."

"all yours, john."

hello, dear anon♡ thank you for your request!! ive had long hair myself and i know the hassle sooo here we go...

-ˋˏ ༻❁ tangled ❁༺ ˎˊ-

simon x long-haired!reader

︵‿୨♡ let me love you ♡୧‿︵

you knew he was tough. not only on the surface, but the walls were drawn far beyond his flesh and bones, an impenetrable shelter deep within his soul. his shattered soul. you could see it in his eyes. sombre honey browns. he's been hurt. beaten and battered. far worse than any other human could take.

he thought he was broken. by others, the universe, or maybe he was born with it. utterly doomed by the hands of fate. this wretched soul that sulllied everything he touched, everyone he got close to. cursed, he thought to himself.

he thought himself ruined, defaced by the myriad of scars scattered across his skin and soul. a despicable ugly beast. his heart, cold and long dead. a desolate castle of gloom and melancholy. unlovable, he thought to himself.

but then, you came.

and you found nothing more beautiful—than him.

you invited him in. didn't push too hard. just enough for him to see it's safe.

he was reluctant to go on any further with you. a pessimist by nature. or maybe molded that way by years of torture and betrayal.

and it hurt you undeniably. that he pushed you away so many times. out of fear. confusion. and not knowing how to love and treat you how you deserve to be treated. it hurt him as well.

but you were persistent. and patient. took his hand and guided him through the darkness.

and you knew deep down that he wanted this, secretly seeking shelter, a home that he never had.

you were determined, dead-set on a mission. to make him believe. in you. in himself. and that he's worthy.

how you traced his scars on sleepless nights. your dainty fingers, soft and tender, drawing shapes of love and devotion on his rough, battle-worn skin.

how you asked the story behind each scar with your heavenly voice, the one that he could never resist.

and how he answered each time, except for the ones that hit too close to heart.

so you waited. for him to gradually shed layer after layer. you never pushed. it was all up to him.

how you kissed each one of his scars, your soft lips gently pecking the bumpy lines adorning his body, the one that you adored and would let him know constantly which made him totally shocked every time.

how the slightest of your touch brought a sense of comfort to his weary soul, a soothing balm on an ever-aching wound deep within him.

he was utterly and completely mesmerized. by your love. your tenderness towards him and how it contrasted with his roughness. by you.

how could you love the devil?

he always wondered.

and not just any love. a love that expands beyond the fiercest of devotions. a love that burns brightly and everlastingly.

you made sure to let him know everyday.

"let me love you, simon." you whispered as you made love to him, your movements gentle and languid, your body fitting perfectly in his embrace.

"i- i don't... deserve you." he responded breathlessly, his self-doubt running deep and still resisting against your persistence.

but you can feel it with each tender touch, each soft kiss, each whispered word. you can feel the sturdy walls cracking.

"yes, you do. you deserve me and much more." you uttered with a smile. no pushing. just letting him know.

until he, himself, came around.

and believed.

"i love you." he said.

finally willing to open his heart and soul to you, letting you in completely.

to witness the softness along with the horrors he kept hidden inside a vault for so long.

but you were never afraid.

and you embraced him. wholly. scars and all.

"i love you too, si." you replied.

and he held you. you. in whom he finally found his home.

simon sits by your room in the hospital, his head in his hands, teeth clenched and legs shaking. distraught. anxious.

he jumps out of his seat as soon as the doctor leaves your room.

"how is she?" simon asks the doctor.

"she's stable, though still unconscious. she'll wake up in a few hours." she replies calmly.

simon lets out an audible sigh, relief washing over him.

"can i see her?" he asks in a hopeful tone, "yeah, you can go in." she answers with a faint smile.

simon steps inside quietly, still shaken and nervous.

his eyes fall on your still form as you rest on the hospital bed, tubes inserted into your mouth and nose.

"fuckin' hell, what have you done?" he murmurs shakily, running a hand across his face. helpless and defeated.

simon takes a seat on the chair beside your bed, eyes glued to your motionless body as he takes a moment to digest what actually happened.

his mind races from one thought to another, running a million miles an hour, trying to figure out what led you to this decision. to leave everything behind. to end your life.

were there any signs he didn't notice? could he have stopped it? could he have saved you?

'of course i fucking could! i'm so fucking stupid! it was right there, the signs were right in front of me!'

simon keeps blaming himself as he always does when something happens to someone close to him.

his mind keeps replaying the moment he got the call, the moment he thought it was over and you were gone. they told him you took a bunch of pills and you're in the hospital. his heart sank in his chest. he can't quite figure out how he even got there between his roaring shouts of 'why' and 'what did you do' and tears blurring his vision while driving. his mind was set on one thing only. you.

absent-mindedly, simon reaches for your hand. he doesn't even notice the tears dripping down his cheeks while he softly caresses your skin.

"please wake up, please..." he keeps repeating the phrase like a mantra, a prayer.

he's not a believer, but in this moment, he hopes that someone hears him.

he chokes back sobs, trying to swallow the heavy lump in his throat, but to no avail.

until there's a movement.

simon feels your hand turning slightly in his grasp and when he lifts his head, hopeful, he sees your eyelids shaking as you slowly gain consciousness.

after the nurse tends to you and removes the tubes, you're sitting up on your bed and simon is back on his seat, gripping your hand tightly in his, as if keeping you from leaving him.

your eyes are still closed. nervous. ashamed. you can't look him in the eye.

"please look at me, love." he pleads quietly, so he doesn't disturb you. almost as if he'd scare you away if he's any louder.

"si..." you whisper, voice hoarse as you let out a cough.

"shh, here." simon brings the cup of water that's placed on the table to your lips.

you finally turn to him after taking a sip, glossy eyes looking back at his sombre ones.

a heavy silence hangs in the air between you, tension rising. but behind all that, there's an unspoken understanding.

"si, i'm so sorry." you break into sobs after a while, uncontrollable tears streaming down your face, bringing simon to shed a few tears as well.

"shh, love..." simon reaches out to wipe your tears, "i know."

he tries to understand. he truly does. but he can't help the surge of anger bubbling inside him.

"why the f-" he cuts himself off, choking back his anger, "why?"

he looks back at you with a defeated expression, utterly helpless.

"si, i don't fucking know. i-" you cry, unable to go on. shame, anger, frustration gnawing at your flesh and bones.

"i know. i know. i'm sorry." simon nods, "i can't... i can't fucking lose you, you hear?... huh?... i just fucking can't... please..."

he lets out a frustrated sigh and leans back on the chair.

"you know ho- how that felt?... when i thought i lost you?"

"i- i..."

"like they were fuckin' tearing my heart out of my chest!" he nearly seethes at the mere thought of it, "i couldn't fuckin' breathe. i froze. i thought it was over. you know it's over for me if i lose you, right?" his voice wavers at the end, lips quivering. a sight you've never witnessed before. his teary eyes are locked on yours, as if looking for confirmation that you actually know.

"i'm so sorry..." that's all you can say before he goes on.

"no, i'm sorry. i'm not mad at you, love. never you." he responds softly before kissing your hand.

it's the thought of losing you that infuriates simon. this universe has taken away everything he ever had. but you? it cannot ever touch you.

"now i'm not trying to make this about me." he says, "you can talk to me, love. about anything. absolutely anything that bothers you. or... we can go to a professional if you want. your choice."

"that's a good idea." you nod through your tears, "i just... feel so empty. like i'm nothing. worthless... hours, days pass by and i'm just lying there, doing nothing, feeling nothing. i feel like the shell of the person i once was... there's absolutely nothing here for me..." you sob as you reach the last part. you know it's not true, though. but your mind is devious. it tricks and fools you into believing the most hurtful, wretched thoughts.

"you have me, love. you always have me. i promise i'll be here whenever you need me. just say the word and i will crush anything that hurts you." simon replies, still holding your hand and placing gentle kisses on your knuckles, as he wants to do with the scars scattered across your soul.

you nod with a tender smile which his scarred lips return.

he leans in and kisses your lips, soft and tender, pouring into the kiss every ounce of love and devotion he has for you.

"thank you, si."

"none of that, love. just remember that i'm always here."