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The Biggest Penelope Fan Since Odysseus

@captainkaltar

Kal, 29, she/her, bi. I have a history degree, I work in Hellenic studies, and it all really shows. Mostly Medieval and ancient Mediterranean goings-on. Leftist, witch, Hellenic pagan, intersectional feminist, future librarian.
🦉Athena devotee 🦉
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Mutuals DM me for my Substack~

It’s all about the ancient Mediterranean in modern pop culture and also neat stuff I discover while researching my thesis

I’ve added a lot of cool stuff to my Substack since I first made this post. If you’d like to tune in, DM me or leave a comment on this post 🧿

Preferred a Greek goddess? Vote in this poll:

Bonus points if you tell me your current favourite god in the tags! I loved Apollo when I was a kid and still do, but if I had to pick a single current fave, it would be Hermes 🪽

I was way into Demeter, but also had a huge Artemis phase where I wanted to be one of her huntresses🌾 🏹

Bonus points if you tell me your favourite goddess now in the tags (mine’s Athena)

Also, vote for the male gods in this poll:

Ancient Greek Children’s Toys

  1. Model animals, Agora Museum, Athens
  2. Horse on wheels, National Archaeological Museum, Athens
  3. Dolls, also from the NAM
  4. Rattle shaped like a baby in a crib, Cycladic Museum, Athens
  5. Rattles shaped like pigs, also from the Cycladic Museum
  6. Birds (possibly toys, possibly votive offerings meant to protect children), Benaki Museum, Athens
  7. Assorted clay animals, some of them rattles, Cycladic Museum, Athens
  8. Toy furniture and possibly model food, Archaeological Museum of Vravrona
  9. Horse on wheels, Archaeological Museum of Vravrona
  10. Dolls and doll furniture, Archaeological Museum of Vravrona

All photos by me 🧿

tag yourself: ancient greek literature

the iliad

  • probably an aries
  • mad about everything
  • will kick anyone’s ass, even their own

the odyssey

  • bisexual with a poor sense of direction
  • just wants to go home
  • cries about dogs

herodotus’s histories

  • bullshits every assignment they ever turn in
  • has a fun fact for everything
  • probably doesn’t even know if they’re telling the truth any more

the peloponnesian war

  • nobody knows what they’re talking about ever
  • makes everything about politics
  • cynical about everything

lucian’s a true history

  • only communicates via memes
  • somehow turns out new fic every week
  • never passes up a chance for a dick joke

the poetry of sappho

  • into the gaysthetic
  • has 50 crushes at once
  • constantly complains about not having a gf

the idylls of theocritus

  • is just here to have a good time
  • wants to save the bees
  • wears flower crowns whenever possible

Dead Artists Are Better?

Martial, Epigrams 8.69

It’s only the ancients you admire,   Vacerra, and you don’t praise Any poets who aren’t dead. I must ask your pardon, Vacerra;   It simply isn’t worth it For me to die, just to please you. Miraris ueteres, Vacerra, solos nec laudas nisi mortuos poetas. Ignoscas petimus, Vacerra: tanti non est, ut placeam tibi, perire.

Study for Homer with the Poets Ovid, Horace, and Lucan,  Eugène Delacroix (1798-1863)

So, my university does a lot of outreach Classics work, trying to make it less of an elitist subject and more accessible to children, and as part of that, I went to give a talk to a class of 6 and 7 year olds a few months back.

And here’s the thing. Classics is really often portrayed as the last bastion of academic privilege, a subject that is only taught to rich white kids so that they can brag about knowing Latin and get jobs as Tory MPs. But these kids were OBSESSED. They had already done some stuff on myths, and they were so excited to talk about it. They knew all the stories, all the heroes, the gods, the monsters. I have never seen such an excitable group of kids as these 6 year olds shouting about Odysseus.

For the lesson, I asked them to think of their favourite myth and to consider it from the point of view of the monster rather than the hero. The end goal was to show that often the monsters and heroes are quite similar. We decided to do Polyphemus (the Cyclops) in the Odyssey, and so I asked them why they thought Polyphemus might have been so angry at Odysseus that he killed some of his men.

Because he came home and found lots of strange men in his house, eating his food, said the kids.

So, I asked them, do you think that was a good reason to kill people?

No, they said, but he was very cross, and he didn’t do it because it was fun.

And then this KID, this SIX YEAR OLD CHILD, put her hand up and said “well, it was very bad of him, but if we’re cross with him then we have to be cross with Odysseus too, because when he came home from his adventure and found lots of men in his house, trying to marry his wife, he killed them, and that’s the same thing, isn’t it?”

AND LET ME TELL YOU

I am a published Classicist! A PhD student! And I have never made that connection before! Not once! And this child was six years old! And she made the link! By herself!

And so I tried not to show how gobsmacked I was, and we talked more about other monsters, including Medusa, and at the end of the lesson a lot of them said that they thought the monsters were not as evil as we usually think, and then I went home.

But I honestly haven’t got over how excited and engaged those kids were, in a totally regular primary school. Classics, in that classroom, was not elitist or inaccessible. It was something they understood, could really get their teeth into and use to think of new ideas of good and bad, of why we demonise different people for doing the same things. And that’s how I like to think about Classics. Not a series of dry texts in ancient languages, but as living stories that you actually can’t help but love, just a bit.

Hey sorry to bother you but I recently went to a classics uni taster course and sat there completely overwhelmed because whilst the actual lessons given were tailored to potential students who have never studied classics before (me), nearly everyone else there had and were engaging with the material in a way I simply couldn’t understand. Do you have a recommended reading list I could use over summer so that I don’t completely go in the deep end? :) thanks so much !

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You’re not a bother at all, friend! 

It is really overwhelming when you’re not used to it - and don’t worry, I have a whole degree in Classics, and I still get overwhelmed! It’s perfectly normal. There’s a lot of information and the Classical world spans so many locations and time periods, it’s a lot to take in. Everyone is going to be at different levels and remember - you can always learn. Your point of view and your voice is important, so if you have trouble engaging in the material how others are presenting it, think of how you engage with the material and how you would present it to others. You might be giving a lot of people another aspect of the material that they themselves had not considered. 

Anyway! 

So, before I went into my Classics degree, I had only read The Iliad and The Odyssey, and I didn’t even read them all the way through, but that’s where I would begin! 

The Iliad, The Odyssey, and The Aeneid are the “big 3″ that I had to keep reading over and over again, no matter what level of Classics I was in. However, there is a lot more reading! 

The recommended reading list for Classics undergraduates from Yale University is found here (https://classics.yale.edu/sites/default/files/files/downloads/YaleUndergraduateReadingList.pdf) and is as follows (and please remember that this is for the whole of your undergraduate career, not what you should have done before you start): 

Ancient Greek:

  • Homer’s The Iliad: 1, 6, 9 (Ancient Greek), all of it in English
  • Homer’s The Odyssey: 4, 9 (Ancient Greek), all of it in English
  • Homeric Hymns: Demeter in Ancient Greek; Aphrodite, Apollo, and Hermes in English
  • Hesiod’s Works and Days 1-247 (Ancient Greek), all of it in English
  • Hesiod’s Theogony 1-232 (Ancient Greek), all of it in English
  • Archilochus 1, 2, 3, 6, 22, 74 (Ancient Greek), the English recommended is A. Miller’s Greek Lyric (I have never read this author at all, myself)
  • Sappho 1, 16, 31, 44 (Ancient Greek), English: A. Miller’s Greek Lyric is listed here again, and I would also recommend The Love Songs of Sappho, which is what I used in my course and enjoyed (https://www.amazon.com/Love-Songs-Sappho-Literary-Classics/dp/157392251X/)
  • Solon 1, 24 (Ancient Greek), A. Miller’s Greek Lyric selections in English (I have never read this author, either)
  • Simonides 542, 121D, 92D (Ancient Greek),  A. Miller’s Greek Lyric selections in English (I have never read this author, either)
  • Bacchylides 3, 18 (Ancient Greek),  A. Miller’s Greek Lyric selections in English
  • Pindar Ol. 1: In English: selections of Odes in A. Miller, Greek Lyric: Olympian 2, 12, 13, 14, Pythian 1, 3, 8, 10, Nemean 5, 10, Isthmian 5, 6, 7
  • Aeschylus’s Eumenides (Ancient Greek)
  • Aeschylus’s Oresteia (English)
  • Sophocles’s Oedipus Rex (Ancient Greek)
  • Sophocles in English: Ajax, Antigone, and Oedipus at Colonus
  • Euripides’s Medea (Ancient Greek) - one of my favorites
  • Euripides in English: Hippolytus and Bacchae
  • Aristophanes’s Clouds (Ancient Greek)
  • Aristophanes in English: Frogs, Birds, and Lysistrata (I performed Lysistrata when I was an undergraduate and played Kinesias. It was amazing and one of my favorite plays.)
  • Herodotus 1.192 (Ancient Greek), 6-9 in English
  • Thucydides 2.1-65 (Ancient Greek), 1, the rest of 2, 6, and 7 in English
  • Plato’s Republic I, Ion, Crito (Ancient Greek), Republic, Apology, and Symposium in English
  • Aristotle’s Nicomachean Ethics 1 (Ancient Greek), all of Poetics in English
  • Lysias 1 (Ancient Greek), Lysias 12 in English
  • Demosthenes’s First Philippic (Ancient Greek)
  • Apollonius’s Argonautica selections in N. Hopkinson, A Hellenistic Anthology: 1.536-58, 1.1153-71, 3.744-824, 4.1629-88 (Ancient Greek); all of the Argonautica in English
  • Callimachus: selections in N. Hopkinson, A Hellenistic Anthology: Reply to the Telchines (fr. 1), Acontius and Cydippe (frr. 67+75), The Bath of Pallas (Hymn 5), The Hymn to Zeus (Hymn 1) (Ancient Greek)
  • Theocritus 1, 15 (Ancient Greek), 7 and 11 in English
  • Plutarch’s Alcibiades (Ancient Greek) and in English: Alexander, Coriolanus & Comparison of Coriolanus and Alcibiades

Additional English Readings:

  • Lyric poetry, selections of Alcman, Alcaeus, Anacreon, and Theognis from A. Miller, Greek Lyric
  • Tetralogies by Antiphon
  • Dyscolus by Menander
  • Lucian: selected Dialogues of the Gods in L. Casson, Selected Satires of Lucian, 2, 4, 6, 7, 9, 20, 24; The Dream or Lucian’s Career, The Death of Peregrinus
  • Daphnis and Chloe by Longus

That sure is a lot! But, again, remember, this is the reading list from which most undergraduates would be working off of for their final and comprehensive examinations, if your university conducts those types of requirements. This isn’t a list of things you should know before you’re in your program, but moreso what you should know at the end of it. So, here’s my recommendations from that list that I would suggest for you to read before you begin your program (in English, but if you have some knowledge of Ancient Greek, it would be good to give it a go for the recommendations listed here! But don’t worry, you don’t need to know everything before the first day of class). 

Ancient Greek Readings (My Recommendations from the List Above): 

  • The Iliad
  • The Odyssey
  • Homeric Hymns
  • Theogony
  • Sappho (all)
  • Oresteia
  • Oedipus Rex
  • Antigone 
  • Medea
  • Clouds and Lysistrata
  • Argonautica

These are the ones I would start with; it’ll get you familiar with the type of readings you will have, it’s a little less overwhelming than the first list, and I’m going to be perfectly honest with you that I’ve not read a good chunk of the people on the list myself. But, I think that my recommendations are a little easier to digest and easier to get through than trying to read the whole list recommended for undergraduates. Onward we go! 

Latin: 

  • Plautus’s Menaechmi (Latin), Aulularia and Amphitryo in English (the first time I read Amphitryo was as a graduate student)
  • Terence’s Adelphoe (Latin) (another one I didn’t read until I was a graduate student)
  • Ennius's Annales 34-50, 72-91, 96, 268-286 (as numbered in O. Skutsch’s Annals of Quintus Ennius) (Latin) 
  • Catullus 1-16, 22, 28, 30-36, 44-46, 49-51, 58, 62-64, 68, 70, 72, 75, 76, 82-87, 92, 93, 95, 96, 99, 101, 109 (Latin), (I love his poetry ngl)
  • Lucretius’s De Rerum Natura I.1-448 (Latin)
  • Caesar’s Bellum Civile I (Latin)
  • Sallust’s Bellum Catilinae (Latin)
  • Cicero’s In Catilinam 1, Somnium Scipionis, Letters 1, 3, 6, 15, 18, 19, 20, 24, 27, 33, 34, 38, 52, 63, 67-69 (ed. Shackleton Bailey) (Latin), Brutus, Penguin Classics On the Good Life (Trans. Grant) in English
  • Horace’s Satires 1, Odes 1, Epistles 1 (Latin), Ars Poetica in English
  • Virgil’s Eclogues, Aeneid I, IV, VI, XII (Latin), Georgics and Aeneid (all) in English
  • Tibullus I.1, 3, 5 (Latin)
  • Propertius I.1, 3,5, 6, 11, 18-20; IV. 7-11 (Latin)
  • Nepos’s Atticus (Latin)
  • Ovid’s Amores 1, Metamorphoses 1 (Latin), Ars I and Metamorphoses (all) in English
  • Livy praef., I.1-16 (Latin), Books I and XXI in English
  • Res Gestae Divi Augusti
  • Seneca’s Phaedra, Letters 7, 47, 56 (Latin), Apocolocyntosis, Octavia in English 
  • Lucan’s Bellum Civile I.1-182 (Latin); Books I and VII in English
  • Persius’s Satire 1 (Latin)
  • Petronius’s Satyricon chapters 26-78 in Latin, the rest in English
  • Martial’s De Spec. 31 and 34; Book I.1-4, 13, 16, 29, 32, 38 (Latin)
  • Pliny’s letters I.9, VI.16, VII.33, X.96-97 (Latin)
  • Tacitus’s Agricola 1-4, 42-46 and Annales I (Latin), Annales (all) in English (I’m literally reading these right now lol)
  • Juvenal’s Satires 1, 3 (Latin), 6, 10 (English)
  • Suetonius (in English): Augustus, Nero, Domitian
  • Apuleius Metamorphoses 1 (Latin), Metamorphoses (all) in English
  • Ammianus XVI.1, 5, 10; XXXI.16.7 (Latin), XIV.5.6-XV.8.16, XVI (all) in English
  • Augustine’s Confessions I.VIII(13)-XIV(23) (Latin), Confessions I (all) in English
  • Claudian’s In Eutropium I (English)
  • Boethius Consolatio Philosphiae 1 (English) (I never read this for a Classics course, but did have it in a Medieval Literature course in English)
  • Quintilian Instit. X.1.85-131 (English)

Quite a lot here, too! From what I had to read in school as an undergraduate, I will give you a few recommendations for the Latin readings you might want to explore in English before you dive in to the works in Latin (again, if you are familiar with Latin, feel free to try and work through some of the recommendations above!) 

Latin Readings (My Recommendations from the List Above):

  • Ennius’s Annales
  • Catullus (all)
  • De Rerum Natura
  • Bellum Civile
  • Bellum Catilinae
  • In Catilinam
  • The Aeneid
  • Ovid’s Metamorphoses
  • Pliny’s letters

Remember, these are all to start you off, and if you complete all of the readings I recommended, you can explore the expanded list and see what’s interesting to you. The recommendations I’ve made on what to read before you go into your program is based on what I read as an undergraduate and whether I had read it at all before I began graduate school. If anyone wants to specifically recommend anything I didn’t list as a must before beginning a program, please add it! 

Here are the best places to find translations of these works, in case you cannot find them in your local library or don’t have the money to invest in all of them:

I hope this helps and please let me know if you would like me to expand on anything else for you. Happy reading! 

All the best, 

The Ancient Geeko-Roman

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Lost Athenian comedies I wish I could read:

Aristophanes’ Skenas katalambanousai/ Women Claiming Tent SitesWomen compete with men over shelters at a festival

Aristophanes’ Daedalus: Zeus uses Daedalus’ skill as a craftsman in an erotic adventure

Eupolis’ Baptai/ Dippers: Parodies a performance for the Thracian goddess Cotyto where men apparently dressed up as women

Cratinus’ Dionysalexandros: The Judgement of Paris but with Dionysos as Paris

Cratinus’ Pytine/ The Wine Flask: Cratinus was frequently mocked by other comedic writers for his love of drinking. In reply he wrote The Wine Flask which features himself as the main character. He is married to Comedy who accuses him of cheating on her with Pytine. The real Cratinus won first prize for this play. 

Eupolis’ Taxiarchoi/ Commanders: The god Dionysos joins the army