austin

I AM: Austin
I WANT: to do more with my life
I HAVE: a loving girlfriend and a great cat
I WISH: that i can do something
I HATE: not being able to fish around here
I FEAR: the future
I HEAR: music
I SEARCH: youtube when im bored
I WONDER: about everything
I REGRET: going to college right away
I LOVE: mom, jessi, stella, and my family and the few good friends that i have
I ACHE: my feet
I ALWAYS: smoke
I AM NOT: standing
I DANCE: for no man
I SING: at work
I CRY: not as often as i used to
I AM NOT ALWAYS: true to myself
I WRITE: order lists for work
I WIN: at scrabble?
I LOSE: my money
I CONFUSE: myself
I NEED: a better understanding of myself
I SHOULD: go back to school
***********

YES or NO:

x. YOU KEEP A DIARY: no
x. YOU LIKE TO COOK: yes
x. YOU HAVE A SECRET YOU HAVE NOT SHARED WITH ANYONE: yes
x.YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE: yes
******
THE WEIRDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: Antonio
THE LOUDEST PERSON YOU KNOW: Martha
THE SEXIEST PERSON YOU KNOW: jessi
THE CUTEST PERSON YOU KNOW: jessi
CLOSEST FRIEND: Mike
THE PERSON THAT KNOWS THE MOST ABOUT YOU: Mike and Jessi
THE LAST IMAGE/THOUGHT YOU GO TO SLEEP WITH: waking up in a different place
INSIDE JOKE: saxby chambliss
******

DO YOU...?
HAVE A CRUSH: no
WANT TO GET MARRIED: yes
GET EMOTION SICKNESS: yes
THINK YOURE A HEALTH FREAK: sometimes
GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: yes
LIKE THUNDERSTORMS: always
CURRENT HAIR COLOR: brown
EYE COLOR: brown
BIRTHPLACE: Kenosha

FAVORITES:
NUMBER: 21
COLOR: blue
DAY: monday
MONTH: september
SONG: "thrasher" neil young
FOOD: cereal
SEASON: summer
SPORT: hockey
DRINK: New Glarus Hearty Hop IPA

PREFERENCES:
CUDDLE OR MAKE OUT: cuddle
CHOCOLATE MILK, OR HOT CHOCOLATE: hot chocolate
MILK, DARK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE: white
VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE: vanilla

**********

IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU...
CRIED? no
HELPED SOMEONE? at work
BOUGHT SOMETHING? coffee, cigarettes, orange juice, soup, beer
GOTTEN SICK? no
GONE TO THE MOVIES? no
GONE OUT FOR DINNER? no
SAID "I LOVE YOU"? yes
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER: no
TALKED TO AN EX? no
MISSED AN EX? no
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL? in my livejournal
HAD A SERIOUS TALK? no
MISSED SOMEONE? yes
HUGGED SOMEONE? yes
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS? no
FOUGHT WITH A FRIEND? no
**********

Name 5 bands you listen to:
1. Neil Young
2. Old & in the Way
3. Miles Davis
4. Built to Spill
5. Yes

Name 7 things you hate:
1. not really doing anything in life
2. those little green things from stella's cat toy
3. not having any friends around here
4. crazy mccain supporters
5. FIB's
6. the noise the change in my pocket makes when i walk around
7. being alone

Would you ever:
1. Eat a bug? yes
2. Bungee jump? no
3. Hang glide? no
4. Kill someone? no
5. Kiss someone of the same sex? not on purpose
6. Have sex with someone of the same sex? no
7. Parachute from a plane? no
8. Walk on hot coals? yes
9. Go out with someone for their looks? no
11. Be a vegetarian? no
12. Wear plaid with stripes? i think i am right now
13. IM a stranger? no
14. Sing Karaoke? no, i learned my lesson
15. Get drunk off your ass? i dont like feeling like that
16. Shoplift? never
17. Run a red light? no
18. Star in a porn video? no
19. Dye your hair blue? no
20. Be on Survivor? no
21. Wear makeup in public? no
22. Not wear makeup in public? only everyday of my life
23. Cheat on a test? yes
24. Make someone cry? not on purpose
25. Date someone more than 10 years older than you? negative
26. Stay up all night? its been awhile

1. WHAT IS YOUR Middle name? - edward

2. WHAT kind of PANTS ARE YOU WEARING and what color? - brown khakis

3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? - "the return of the giant hogweed" Genesis

4. WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER? - 0492

5. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? - noodles with zucchini, red and green peppers, onions, and tomatoes

6. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? - blue

7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? - cold and windy.

8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? - my brother

9. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? - eyes

10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? - i dont remember the person

11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? - feeling okay

12. FAVORITE DRINK? - New Glarus Hearty Hop IPA

13. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? - New Glarus Hearty Hop IPA

14. FAVORITE SPORTS? - hockey

15. HAIR COLOR? - brown

16. EYE COLOR? - brown

17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? - no

18. SIBLINGS AND THEIR AGES? - Mike = 28

19. FAVORITE MONTH? - June

20. FAVORITE FOOD? - a stupid-big bowl of cereal

21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? - Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?

22. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? - thanksgiving

23. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? - i havent asked someone out in almost five years.

24. DO YOU LIKE SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? - happy endings.

25. SUMMER OR WINTER? - summer

26. HUGS OR KISSES? - both.

28. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? - vanilla.

29. DO YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? - i guess.

30. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? - jessi?

31. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? - most everyone.

32. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? - "Looking for Alaska" Peter Jenkins

33. WHAT'S ON YOUR SCREEN SAVER? - nothing

34. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? - scrabble.

35. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? - slept alone for the first time in a very long time.

36. FAVORITE SMELLS? - fresh rain.

37. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? - feed stella

So it's been 433 days since I last wrote on here. A lot has happened in those 433 days. Stuff I want to forget and stuff I will never forget.

-Alaska was utterly amazing. Unbelievable. My brother is one lucky guy.
-My grandmother passed away which was very hard. The hardest thing I've ever done in my life was to carry her coffin into the hearse. I miss her.
-I made some choices that will forever affect my life in more ways than one, I can only learn from those mistakes now.
-Jessi and I will be celebrating four years on Feb. 21st, I still love her the same... more than she will ever know.
-I'm starting school tomorrow. It's been almost four years since I graduated and I'm finally going back to school.
-I made a few new friends and rekindled some friendships. I love them all.
-Biddy passed away and I miss him. Best cat ever.
-I had a pretty nice semi-handle bar mustache for awhile... that's also worth mentioning.


Looking back at my journal from days of old, I feel like I don't even know that person that was writing. I feel I've grown so much since then but I still need to grow more. I've never experienced so many emotional ups and downs. It has really taken a toll on me, almost to the point where I have become numb to so many things. Maybe not so much numb, but apathetic. I've seen so much ugliness come out in people, including myself, that it makes me wonder what the future holds. How will I affect people in the future, how will they affect me?

The sun will rise the same tomorrow, but will I?
(How existential, right?)

Anyways, here are some pictures, those are always fun.
( enjoyCollapse )

im so disapointed in the 1.45 million Wisconsinites so voted against giving my girlfriend and i equal rights. It's not about the benefits, although it would be nice to share them, but we don't believe in marraige, and now our love is not going to be recognized by the state of Wisconsin. It's amazing to see such ignorance and bigotry still to this day. I really can't seem to understand how the gay marriage issue is a "moral" issue. I really hope that some day in Wisconsin, there will be equal rights for all, but so far I have yet to see any evidence of that to make me optimistic.

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

Kenzo had a really good morning today. He had a new therapist today and he was realyl sad to see me go, but according to the therapist, she said he did really well. I got him to participate at circle time when we were singing the ABC's. He was also the group's flag holder for when we said the pledge of alligence. He didn't eat too many noodles today, he did ask for more apples after his first one, but he might be a little hungry today after school.

He has really been listening very well to me lately when we are outside. I tell him to stay out of the mud every time we go out and today he didn't even go in the grass. We hung out on the jungle gym for the better part of the outside time.

Have a great day.

Austin

we finally have our own place again!

band practice photos.
( why did we have our shirts off?Collapse )





happy 21 asstin! (me)

im gonna go on fat free tomorrowYEAH RIGHT, like that'll ever happen.
you've made lambs meat of me
take off you hosers!
kaaaaaaaaybye

Salamaster should influence their peers not to blastbeat or swing guitars around their rediculous heads.

so josh, carl, and i started a new band last week and we have just about finished up our first song. it is exactly the kind of band i want to be in. im way excited. no idea for a band name yet



jessi... and i are getting an apartment hopefully soon.
jessi... is standing next to me
JESSI... is upset with me, nothing new

last nite was really nice.