Past the green pants, the pink dresses, the orange tops. Almost there. My whole world living as a muted mix of muzak, voices and underpants.
"Is there anythinn I can help you with?"
"No. I'm just looking around."
Jump to a park in Paris. Someone's daughter, my daughter, dashes around the neighborhood playground.
"Paige, please stop kicking the sand."
My legs stretch out into the sun in front of me and I close my eyes.
"Excuse me, miss?"
Jump back to the stuffy Gap.
"Hi, how can I help you?" A fake smile through the unreal fog.
Everything I'll lose in life. Everything I've lost. Those people don't shop at the Gap. A real career. A shot of happiness.
Jump to Mahattan.
Jump to falling in love.
Jump to fights I never intended on winning.
"Have you got this in a small?"
You could use the medium Fake smile.
"It'll take just a minute for me to check in the back."
Jump to last August. When I left for good.
A crazy looking lady walking her dog: "They're singing prayers!"
huh?
"On top of your car!!"
My hand out the window, feeling the roof of the car. Ah.
I grab the bag and pull it in. Wave before I speed off. My purse.
"I'm sorry, we haven't got any smalls. Can I help you find anything else?"
Jump to San Francisco, 1989. A dark bedroom, a 10 year old in bed with a flashlight and a book.
Her parents in the hall, screaming as if their lives depended on it.
Jump to the next day, a crowd of people around the child. Singing Happy Birthday. She closes her eyes tight and exhales quickly. Making a wish. Wishing to be happy. Damning the rest of her life to a search for happiness. Dedicating the next twenty years to an 11 year old's dream.
"Is there anythinn I can help you with?"
"No. I'm just looking around."
Jump to a park in Paris. Someone's daughter, my daughter, dashes around the neighborhood playground.
"Paige, please stop kicking the sand."
My legs stretch out into the sun in front of me and I close my eyes.
"Excuse me, miss?"
Jump back to the stuffy Gap.
"Hi, how can I help you?" A fake smile through the unreal fog.
Everything I'll lose in life. Everything I've lost. Those people don't shop at the Gap. A real career. A shot of happiness.
Jump to Mahattan.
Jump to falling in love.
Jump to fights I never intended on winning.
"Have you got this in a small?"
You could use the medium Fake smile.
"It'll take just a minute for me to check in the back."
Jump to last August. When I left for good.
A crazy looking lady walking her dog: "They're singing prayers!"
huh?
"On top of your car!!"
My hand out the window, feeling the roof of the car. Ah.
I grab the bag and pull it in. Wave before I speed off. My purse.
"I'm sorry, we haven't got any smalls. Can I help you find anything else?"
Jump to San Francisco, 1989. A dark bedroom, a 10 year old in bed with a flashlight and a book.
Her parents in the hall, screaming as if their lives depended on it.
Jump to the next day, a crowd of people around the child. Singing Happy Birthday. She closes her eyes tight and exhales quickly. Making a wish. Wishing to be happy. Damning the rest of her life to a search for happiness. Dedicating the next twenty years to an 11 year old's dream.