There's this thing that I wouldn't call a distinctly autistic communication issue, but one that presents differently in autistic people and neurotypical people who just suck at communicating: assessing what someone is trying to ask when they ask a simple, seemingly straightforward question. Like if someone - a person you know is not familiar with hand-picking apples - presents you (who does know these things) with an apple with a very common abnormality, and asks you "what is this?" there are several questions they may be trying to ask.
- What is this thing that I am holding?
- What is this deformity called?
- Is it safe for me to handle it bare-handed at all?
- What do I do with it right now?
And the communication difference is that autistic people will tend to occam's razor this by assuming you mean the most simple question. That's an apple, you're holding an apple. If they point at the abnormality and clarify what is THIS that is ON the apple? You may clarify what the deformity is called by its latin name. They ask you what one should do with the apples like this? Well the ancient Phoenicians used to throw them at people whom they thought-
At this point, someone who isn't used to communicating with autistic people is likely to give up and storm off mid-sentence in order to go find someone who is capable of answering the right question from context clues. And for the sake of the example here, the next person is the second type: a neurotypical person who sucks at communicating.
You see, neurotypical people don't assume you mean to ask the most immediate and obvious question, but assess what you are trying to ask from situational context clues. The ones who suck at communicating just suck at doing this. So they may see someone approach, dangling an apple with an abnormality cautiously by the stem, and asking "what is this?"
From knowing that the asker isn't familiar with apple abnormalities, and from the way they're dangling it by the stem like they're afraid to touch it at all, the second person being asked assumes that "what is this?" means "is this dangerous to people?" And will answer "oh it's harmless :)" and won't try to assess whether there could be additional follow-up questions they could also want answers to.
So the asker who still doesn't know what to do with that thing will have to wrangle themselves through trying to guess how to get the right answer to the question they were trying to ask, which is easiest to do by suggesting the answer that is probably wrong but the only one that feels plausible.
"So do I just put this in the same basket with the other apples, like it's a normal apple?"
"Oh my god of course not. Don't let it touch any of the other ones. You have to toss it, or it will ruin the whole harvest."
