Transgender Community

Well I just got pissed off... Again. How do I put this, I found out about some cisgender people who just out of their own choice entirely get surgeries that are far more risky than any surgeries that are trans related... And yet the other cis people talking about said cis people, respond by criticizing trans peoples surgeries.

Now... I actually am pro-bodily autonomy, including yes, cis people who want to get extremely risky surgeries- otherwise I feel like I'd be a massive hypocrite, but seeing cis people, entirely of their free will choose to get their ribs removed- not due to disease or health or whatever, and then commentators every, immediately start bringing up trans people, then criticizing trans people for getting surgery makes me upset.

To be totally fair, the cisgender woman in question is experiencing a ton of extremely judgmental hateful comments towards her... And I support her choice to do that, even if I'll never understand that. But... People are comparing removing the ribs- one of the riskiest procedures in the entire world, that makes you far far more likely to get fatally injured... To SRS SURGERY and HRT!!!!!! It's all the fear mongering about trans specific surgery, and all the fear mongering about medical transition that upsets me so much.

And please note, I don't endorse criticizing cis people who seek out very risky surgeries for reasons that are hard to understand, rather I'm simply saying that often times there's a lot of fear mongering, where trans people medically transitioning seems to always inevitably get brought up, you know with all the classic transphobic fearmongering.

So many cis people act like medical transition- especially involving surgery in risk factor, is somehow comparable to a cis person, with no known detectable medical brain problems- just eagerly choosing to get brain surgery for no known reason.

Which to someone who actually knows about these things, knows that's just transphobic fear mongering. Of course there's risks but they are just so vastly exaggerated. I wish cis people, would stop treating trans people, like they are cis people who are seeking some of the riskiest procedures in the world. I wish more cis people would for once realize, that not all surgery is the same thing.

Now whenever I heard of a cisgender person seeking an extremely risky surgery- done because they want it, I'm afraid that it's nearly guaranteed a lot of cis people are going to start bringing up trans people, and then start their fear mongering again. Why do so many cis people do this? It's so aggravating.

I believe everyone should be able to do what they want with their bodies... Cis people seeking ultra risky surgeries included- and without being harassed about it... But I sure do wish people didn't start fear mongering about medical transition of TRANS PEOPLE whenever a CIS PERSON seeks out a SURGERY that is NOT RELATED to being TRANS.

So good news, and bad news. Good news: I can finally live alone in something like 2-5 months from now. No more living with my parents whose constant presence, and surveillance has been making me unable to transition at all for countless years now... It's the only place I can afford to live, I am disabled. I don't have much choice about where I live. For the first time in years, I'll be able to at least interact over the internet without eavesdropping, dress however I want in my own home /etc/.

The bad news is... Both my parents are very transphobic especially my mom. She's a radical fundamentalist Christian, and she's said countless things that are homophobic or transphobic. My own father also said that my dream is his nightmare when it comes to medical transition, so I know he can't be reasoned with... My mother is also my payee unfortunately.

So with all that taken into context, it would appear, I only have one choice to manage this all- medically transition, without socially transitioning. It's the only solution I can come up with, to balance between treating my physical dysphoria which by the way is almost exclusively physical, with the very... Delicate situation my life is in, money wise. It's the only compromise I can think of, that won't make me extremely dysphoric, and also won't deprive me of basic needs.

And yes I'm aware... That estrogenizing my body, and getting rid of testosterone markers on it, while still socially remaining male could result in me encountering some pretty ugly prejudice, especially considering I've already been frequently assumed to be a cis woman even without HRT. Probably because of me having a very gracile build, not having big muscles, having nearly waist length hair, being very short, wearing clothes that come across as gender neutral to many, and not having a very deep voice, I've already been mistreated/laughed at, when all I did was wear concealer to hide my unwanted facial hair shadow, because that was literally all it took for people to code me as female instead of male.

And I know, that HRT would make that type of mistreatment even worse, but... Frankly because of the situation I'm in, it seems there's nothing else I can do- whatever mistreatment I might face from all that, is nothing compared to the agony of no medical transition or not having my own home or whatever. So anyways... Here's my options. And my parents... And me being dependent on them/still having to literally basically be their neighbor, is, the primary reason for the whole trying to avoid social transition thing.

A. Acquire HRT/estrogen/T-Blockers without my payee/mother who will live right in a unit underneath me finding out... Is this even possible?
B. Find some political allies or something like that, willing to charge my payee with a hate crime or something akin to that, if as my payee she refuses to cooperate with allowing me medical transition.
C. Change who my payee is.

Help please?