The World Is My Fruitloop

made a blogspot. i think im going to use it for a dorky comic strip :)

...Going further underground seems to do very little. We emerge in the hall of an extravagant skyscraper at the topmost floor. Plush red carpet leads to a set of double doors. On either side, warmly colored wall paper is etched with thin metallic piping in oriental designs. Exiting onto the balcony the young man I am with approaches a table near the rail. The view is breathtaking. I'm not sure if it has become night or if the sky is dark from the thousands of burning buildings. No sirens can be heard. I know this because I listen for them. There are no sirens, no cries for help, no cars, or trains. I hear the wind. Below us the gaseous blob expands across the city. In this tower, for the moment, we are beyond its grasp.

I am hovering at high speeds, spinning in all directions, zigging and zagging through heavily glassed lofts full of sunlight. The aim is to escape, but I can't break the glass. I quickly realize I am dependent upon the small swarm of wooden ducks near my head to direct me in this fast paced floating panic and burst through the appropriate windows into adjoining window lined lofts. After flying in and out of several sparkling buildings, the mid-morning light creating a golden glow, I stop in a dim disheveled basement. Narrow horizontal windows sparsely cover the uppermost edges of the walls. Terror sets in. The person with whom I was hovering suddenly comes into focus and we realize that we must escape the nuclear gas blanketing the city. Scanning the cement room our eyes fall upon the small wooden door in the ground. Our intuition tells us we can't open it. As the gas begins seeping into the room a troop of teddy bears march in and heave the door up for us. Frantically waving us onward, they know they won't be able to follow. We know they won't be able to follow. My partner reluctantly crawls through the opening, while I duck closer to the ground to avoid the noxious fumes. The teddy bears eyes tell me everything is going to be okay, they want me to live, and I move on hoping their sacrifice isn't for nothing.

Spring is here!! Are you sporting Mid*Cal yet?


http://www.cafepress.com/middle

soooo the "front glides" are apparently wearing out on the dryer in our house... I guess the "drum" can start to wear into the support for the front glides if the dryer continues to be used...

does anyone know anything about this stuff?

IHOP (in Natomas) has this amazing practice where they give each table an entire pot of coffee. Thus, allowing people too refill at their leisure. It's... so, beautiful.
This is not even mentioning the super hot stewardess-like waitress. I call her "The Beacon of Light." Amidst the sea of fugly and bitter servers she shines out with a slammin' bod, a brilliant smile, and expertly honed serving skillz.

Endless Coffee Pot + Beacon of Light = Will you Marry me?

... I know she wouldn't, but a brother has got to try (in this scenario the "brother" is me).

Recently Unearthed E-Mail Reveals What Life Was Like In 1995

the best Onion article to date!!!!

Shoemaker E. Mamie is the best Spammer e-mail that has ever sent me crap before

Work work workity work workee la la la leee low la. I love my co-workers, they rock. We have all found the perfect balance between goofing off and getting our shit taken care of. Word, Son! WORD!

A car hit me on my bike yesterday. Well, my front tire, which put my face on a hot hood. I don't think I have cussed that much like... ever. Man. That was a weak moment for me. I was all kinds of pissed. I'm pretty sure I made the girl who was in the car feel worse than my body did. May Jesus forgive my moment of impatience. Buddha already accepts me for who I am.

SIDe NOTe:
Much like pizza, I have determined that I like old cold coffee...

Tomorrow is movie day, before AND after work. I am seeing the new Harry Potter for the first showing at 6am, then going to work, THEN going to see Transformers in the afternoon. It could end up being the best day all month. Hell, it might be the best day anyone ever had in the entire world. Moving pictures are neat.