thinking

i was just sitting here thinking .... this goes with out being said i think and i hope, but you have NO intention of EVER talking or seeing Noel again right? i mean this would be the case if you have any intention of talking to or being with me right?

also i am thinking that right now is the time you should tell me if there is any more secrets you are keeping from me.

also i am thinking that i want to make it clear to you that my heart is loyal to you. i do not have eyes for any one else. when i say i do not want to play games i mean it. so if there is anything you are holding back from telling me, you better do it soon, i really don't want to be crushed again.

i don't know how to put this in words, but here it goes. what happened a month ago almost destroyed me. i was ready to push you away forever. i almost did. but then you called me. so here is the deal. if you do something to crush me again, i seriously will push you away forever and never look back.

and one final thing. smoking weed is still something i will never ever accept. i have seen too many people (soldiers) get killed over that drug and other drugs. this is a very important concept for me.

i know you can't say this to me, but i can say it to you. I LOVE YOU Christine. I have found my independance again, I am me again. But I still find a little bit of you in everything i do and I don't want it to change.