Love don't you feel the beating?

There's no blame for how our love did slowly fade
And now that it's gone it's like it wasn't there at all

I'll write you and in my dreams
I'll lay on your chest to muffle your screams
And all the love I see I'll hold it close to me
In hopes that one day our secrets will be free

But now our light is gone
Our white light that's home
Maybe love and peace are waiting for us

If love is surrender
Then whose war is it anyway?

In 2005 I...

{x} broke a promise
{x} made a new best friend
{x} did something I swore never to do
{x} lied
{ } stole
{x} cried
{x} went behind my parents back
{ } cried over a broken heart
{x} dissapointed someone close
{x} hid a secret
{x} pretended to be happy
{ } got arrested
{ } kissed in the rain
{ } slept under the stars
{ } swam at midnight
{ } kept my new years resolution(i didnt make one)
{ } forgot your new years resolution (^^^)
{x} met someone who changed your life
{ } met one of my idols
{x} changed my outlook on life
{x} sat home all day doing nothing
{x} pretended to be sick
{ } left the country
{x} almost died (any time riding with Amanda :) )
{x} told someone they meant the world to me
{ } lost someone important to me
{x} gave up on someone important to me
{x} bought something expensive
{ } lost something expensive
{x} learned something new about myself
{x} tried something i normally wouldnt try and liked it
{X} made a change in my life
{x} found out who my true friends were
{x} made a total fool of myself
{x} met great people

"It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to."

Woe springs from wrong, the plant is like the seed --
While Right, in honour's house, doth its own likeness breed.

"The youth is wasted on our young."

The Last Hero
by G.K. Chesterton



The wind blew out from Bergen from the dawning to the day,
There was a wreck of trees and fall of towers a score of miles away,
And drifted like a livid leaf I go before its tide,
Spewed out of house and stable, beggared of flag and bride.
The heavens are bowed about my head, shouting like seraph wars,
With rains that might put out the sun and cleanse the sky of stars,
Rains like the fall of ruined seas from secret worlds above,
The roaring of the rains of God none but the lonely love.
Feast in my hall, O foeman, and eat and drink and drain,
You never loved the sun in heaven as I have loved the rain.

The chance of battle changes - so may all battle be;
I stole my lady bride from them, they stole her back from me.
I rent her from her red-roofed hall, I rode and saw arise
More lovely than the living flowers the hatred in her eyes.
She never loved me, never bent, never was less divine;
The sunset never loved me, the wind was never mine.
Was it all nothing that she stood imperial in duresse?
Silence itself made softer with the sweeping of her dress.
Oh you who drain the cup of life, oh you who wear the crown,
You never loved a woman's smile as I have loved her frown.

The wind blew out from Bergen from the dawning to the day,
They ride and run with fifty spears to break and bar my way,
I shall not die alone, alone, but kin to all the powers,
As merry as the ancient sun and fighting like the flowers.
How white their steel, how bright their eyes! I love each laughing knave,
Cry high and bid them welcome to the banquet of the brave.
Yea, I will bless them as they bend and love them where they lie,
When on their skulls the sword I swing falls shattering from the sky.
The hour when death is like a light and blood is like a rose, -
You never loved your friends, my friends, as I shall love my foes.

Know you what earth shall lose tonight, what rich uncounted loans,
What heavy gold of tales untold you bury with my bones?
My loves in deep dim meadows, my ships that rode at ease,
Ruffling the purple plumage of strange and secret seas.
To see this fair earth as it is to me alone was given,
The blow that breaks my brow tonight shall break the dome of heaven.
The skies I saw, the trees I saw after no eyes shall see.
Tonight I die the death of God: the stars shall die with me:
One sound shall sunder all the spears and break the trumpets breath:
You never laughed in all your life as I shall laugh in death.

"Lady Lazarus"

I have done it again.
One year in every ten
I manage it----

A sort of walking miracle, my skin
Bright as a Nazi lampshade,
My right foot

A paperweight,
My face a featureless, fine
Jew linen.

Peel off the napkin
0 my enemy.
Do I terrify?----

The nose, the eye pits, the full set of teeth?
The sour breath
Will vanish in a day.

Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me

And I a smiling woman.
I am only thirty.
And like the cat I have nine times to die.

This is Number Three.
What a trash
To annihilate each decade.

What a million filaments.
The peanut-crunching crowd
Shoves in to see

Them unwrap me hand and foot
The big strip tease.
Gentlemen, ladies

These are my hands
My knees.
I may be skin and bone,

Nevertheless, I am the same, identical woman.
The first time it happened I was ten.
It was an accident.

The second time I meant
To last it out and not come back at all.
I rocked shut

As a seashell.
They had to call and call
And pick the worms off me like sticky pearls.

Dying
Is an art, like everything else,
I do it exceptionally well.

I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.

It's easy enough to do it in a cell.
It's easy enough to do it and stay put.
It's the theatrical

Comeback in broad day
To the same place, the same face, the same brute
Amused shout:

'A miracle!'
That knocks me out.
There is a charge

For the eyeing of my scars, there is a charge
For the hearing of my heart----
It really goes.

And there is a charge, a very large charge
For a word or a touch
Or a bit of blood

Or a piece of my hair or my clothes.
So, so, Herr Doktor.
So, Herr Enemy.

I am your opus,
I am your valuable,
The pure gold baby

That melts to a shriek.
I turn and burn.
Do not think I underestimate your great concern.

Ash, ash ---
You poke and stir.
Flesh, bone, there is nothing there----

A cake of soap,
A wedding ring,
A gold filling.

Herr God, Herr Lucifer
Beware
Beware.

Out of the ash
I rise with my red hair
And I eat men like air.

-----sylvia plath

Eternity bores me,
I never wanted it.