Jay’s Terrible Day
I got to commission the incredible @daggertongue for a little bit of fresh ME2 existential dread, and he fuckin killed it. Thank you, Levi, for bringing this idea to life better then I ever imagined it. Ya left me an incoherent mess for a good day or two 😂
It’s taken me a few days to post it, but that’s because it inspired the most writing I’ve done in a couple months. Including a snippet below 👀
want to see my favorite piece of vintage clown jewelry?
was not prepared for the overwhelming amount of enthusiasm in the replies, but fortunately I am prepared to make everybody regret this optimism!
You know given that the Quarians are basically always wearing what are essentially pressure suits as their normal clothing, I like the idea that there is a particular (albeit VERY frowned upon) practice that if someone from another ship happens to really, and I mean REALLY piss OFF the captain of the ship they happen to be visiting, that captain will just throw that person out the airlock while signaling the person’s ship of residence to come pick their idiot/asshole up. It’s obviously frowned upon but will still happen from time to time.
The reason I bring this up is that having just played the Geth Dreadnought mission in ME3, I just think it’s fun to imagine an alternate version of that missions wherein Admiral Gerrel makes the mistake of continuing to run his mouth after Shepard punches him in the stomach for the whole ‘putting all your people in danger and nearly getting us killed for your geth-murder-boner’ and Shepard (having heard of the aforementioned practice from Tali) cuts him off with something to the effect of;
Shepard – “You have ten seconds to get the FUCK off my ship before I have my Prothean friend over here throw you out the fucking airlock!”
Javik (offscreen) – “FINALLY!”
Also when Xen shortly later gets really into wanting to dissect Legion, Shepard can simply Paragon Interrupt/retort “Do I have to call Javik back up here? Because lemme’ tell you, he has REALLY been itching to throw some idiots out the airlock.”
phrasing of this is taking me out
Harder to crucify a being with eight legs
#spider Jesus died on the asterisk for our sins
you can’t just leave this in the tags
shell of a person is such an apt description like yeah i feel exactly like that rn
you need daddy to complete you
daddy needs to be euthanized
the number 1 rule of fanfic is have fun and be yourself. the number 2 rule is the average healthy adult male can lose roughly 2 liters of blood before dying.
Everyone clap for non consensual body modification everybody loves a character whose body has been altered against their will
me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤
the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup
glitchinginthegarden asked:
👉👈 Could I request Bat in number 12 from the pallets?
daggertongue answered:
man me a sand
Make it the cutest man car door hook hand
i cannot begin to explain the emotions i feel every day knowing that this post i made in the middle of playing tf2 when i was 16 is going to be the one thing of mine that has made the largest impact on the world by a fucking mile
