You know what, Life? You win.
I'm tired of fighting. Tired of trying to be hopeful.

I'm more than tired. I'm exhausted.

I give up. You win.

The few times I am surrounded by people, are the times I feel the most alone.

I think it's high time for a fresh start.

Another promise made to me - months ago, and given reminders since - broken.

I don't know why I was expecting things to be different with this person. Maybe because he wasn't infected by the group.

Completely forgot the part of the equation that involves me.

Lately I've been asking myself why I do the things I do. Why I attend the events I attend. Why I want to see the people I do.

And I realized... I have no answer.

I don't know why these things are in my life anymore. They've just become a habit.

And I realize they're habits I must break. Why? Because keeping things or people in your life that make you unhappy will eventually rub off on everything else in your life. You'll begin to resent everything and everyone you actually value.

Yes, the conventions are fun. But not in the same way, or the same amount... It's almost a forced fun. The same can be said for the people there. I know so many of them. I look forward to seeing them... But I don't know why. These are the same people who only remember my name at the convention. The rest of the year, I'm nonexistent.

So as it stands right now... The May 4th show is up in the air. TFcon is almost dead in the water.


EDIT: After all, why want to see people that apparently ask where I am when I'm late to a convention, but don't bother picking up their phones to call or text to actually find out where I am?

The last show really hit the nail on the head with that one. I vanished about half an hour before the show ended. Room check out is at noon. My car is in the parking lot. Where possibly could I have gone?

"Where's Cat?"

Pick up your phone, or don't bother asking. Your thinly veiled attempts at caring are bullshit.

I always say, "You're in or you're out." There is no floating when it comes to peoples' lives.
Since people want to float, I'm making the decision for them.

It seems I say bad things when a mic is placed in front of me.

Luckily it's a podcast.

What Tree Did You Fall From?

Find your birthday and its corresponding tree.
Then, see the meaning behind it below. Do you recognize yourself?

 

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Seriously... WTF. Horoscopes scare me sometimes.


18 January 2011 (10:00 pm) to 17 March 2011 (10:00 pm)
This time diffuses an explosive scenario for you and sets you for a tricky situation. The first part of this phase is marked with new possibilities and opportunities while the second half is indicated to bring a setback for you. You will be in deep dilemma due to this. People who had been your friends so far will turn hostile and provoke you. Unexpected and unforeseen situations will have to be dealt with carefully. You might feel that you have arrived at a particular stage in life when in reality you might be in a big rut. You will lack support from all corners of your life.

I never have anything to post here except quizzes. And the trend's not breaking anytime soon.

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http://quiz.rangerwiki.com/index.php

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fourth Level of Hell!

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Moderate
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test


The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 4 times.

The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Fourth Level of Hell!


Fourth Level of Hell

Just before the river Styx is the Fourth Level of Hell. Here, the prodigal and the avaricious suffer their punishment, as they roll weights back and forth against one another. You will share eternal damnation with others who either wasted and lived greedily and insatiably, or who stockpiled their fortunes, hoarding everything and sharing nothing. Plutus, the wolf-like demon of wealth, dwells here.