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instacart
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04/29/26
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perfectly ripe banana hallelujah stay in bed hallelujah groceries delivered hallelujah
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instacart
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04/14/25
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I’m bored, tell me about the craziest excuse you’ve ever used to cancel plans so you could stay home and snack. I’m not talking about ditching drinks because you were feeling sick, I’m talking UNHINGED like you said your car broke down and skipped your niece’s dance recital so you could make triple fudge brownies and watch reality TV.
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instacart
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04/11/25
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It’s like that desert music festival but you get to wear sweatpants
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instacart
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04/07/25
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she doesn’t know it yet, but in 2 hours her order will be delivered, and she’ll realize her cart was full of toddler snacks and no dinner ingredients…
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