(no subject)
Rawr! Still alive! Main hangouts are Twitter and Facebook now.
(no subject)
Wow, first post in six years. Just here to keep this account alive. I spend my time on Twitter and Facebook now.
See you in another six years :)
See you in another six years :)
An exercise in recognizing and refuting logical fallacies
In the last few months, as I stretch my logic and reasoning skills, I've been learning about logical fallacies and critical thinking. Having found the following case against gay marriage from a Catholic webpage, I figured to deploy some of these newfound skills on a topic that is very near and dear to my dark little heart.
10 Reasons why Gay Marriage is Dangerous:
(My rebuttal after each point)
1) Marriage will not be considered a unique natural family building institution.
This argument, taken at face value, suggests that GLBT people are not capable of building a “family institution”. This also needs clarification as to the definition of a “unique natural family building institution”, and why GLBT are incapable of building one.
2) Churches will be harassed and labeled as bigots for remaining faithful to their beliefs and reason.
Doubtful. The closest they might come to harassed is a drunk homeless guy pissing in the holy water. Otherwise, they'll be generally ignored and die off; preferably along with these, um... "values". What this argument calls “harassed”, most people call “getting with the program”; and by getting with the program, I mean entering the 21st century. Marriage is a secular, civil matter, a contractual matter, separate from religion; churches just provide the ceremony space and spiritual affirmation of the union. If a church doesn't want a gay wedding, that IS their right. The happy couple are free to head for your competitor across the street.
You didn't need more tithing parishoners, anyway.
3) Businesses that deal with weddings will be sued if they do not conform with this redefinition.
As they should be. While sexual orientation is not currently a federally protected status on par with ethnicity or gender, the day will come when it is. And when that day does come, business will have to make some hard choices about honoring the civil rights and dignity of their customers. Just like businesses in the past had to make some tough choices about whether to cater to minorities or face the wrath of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Until then, the free market will be more than happy to decide. Your competitor has already put up a Pride flag in their window.
How's business, natch?
4) Children will grow up confused.
Who's children? The children of the gay parents, or the children of their neighbors, friends, and family? And confused about...what, exactly? Do you mean your children, who can't rectify what they witness in real life with what you indoctrinate into them? This argument is so general as to border on non sequitur.
5) Science will be teaching falsehoods in regards to biology.
I call a big, fat stanky red herring on this. Science doesn't give a lab rat's ass about marriage (unless a graduate student can get a grant to study it). And science, as a discipline, doesn't teach jack; people teach it. You know, people with pee-aych-dees and master degrees and some real book learnin'. What “falsehoods” will these be? Until specific examples can be made, this point isn't only in left field, it's left the park and sunk in the bleachers.
6) Psychology will have to be altered in order to avoid contradictions in studies.
Again, red herring. It's not like psychology is a constantly changing practice as new evidence and discoveries are revealed, anyway. Also, I thought the avoidance of contradictions in scientific studies is supposed to be a GOOD thing (unlike contradictions in the bible, which are numerous)? Altered in what way? As above, has no bearing on this argument unless specific examples can be made.
7) Evolution will be questioned because same sex relations serves no biological purpose in the advancement of a species.
This is where I call not just bullshit, but total, complete, and utter bullshit (that's some serious bullshit). Traditional married couples do not own a monopoly on the mechanics of procreation! This argument suggests that gay couples are incapable of the natural, biological desire to spawn, which defies the same “science” trotted out in #5. That they are incapable of nurturing, raising young, instilling values, teaching them not to set fire to the cat, showing them how to thrive, of loving offspring sprung from their own gay loins or of others as their own. Gay marriage is a cultural and human rights issue, not an evolutionary argument, so has zero bearing on the study of evolution as a scientific discipline.
8.)The family will go and then society will follow.
Uh, what? “The family will go”...where, exactly? This argument infers...implies... Dammit, I can never get that straight. Get it? Straight? Ha! I kill me! Um, anyway... that gay marriage will be responsible for the breakdown of the family unit; unlike abuse, infidelity, divorce, marriages of convenience, shotgun weddings, and celebrities re-marrying for the umpteenth time in tune with the Neilson ratings. This argument suggests (oh who the hell am I kidding, it blatantly asserts) that where the "family" goes, so goes the enveloping society. The suggestion here is that gay marriage will lead to political collapse, the disintegration of infrastructure, chaos, famine, war, dogs and cats living together. Society will follow them...where? To a place where GLBT families are respected and honored on equal footing as traditional families?
The horror!
9) Societies that have done this are now extinct.
Not only is this a post-hoc appeal to consequences, but the consequences never even happened, making this more straw man than the Scarecrow in Wizard of Oz. This argument suggests that societies that have done this are extinct BECAUSE of gay marriage; not due to war, political strife, invasion, natural disaster, time, revolutions, population attrition, or alien abduction. Not to mention, there are now over a dozen societies in the modern era that are going quite strong despite recognizing gay marriage, with no sign of a meteor bearing down on them. That was a metaphor, you know, as in dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs are extinct.
Like your reasoning skills.
10) All other subcultures will demand marriage under the same pretense.
Ah yes, the old “slippery slope” argument. Actually, this is one where I will offer the benefit of the doubt. Other “subcultures” will begin demanding equal respect, though I suspect you are referring to polygamy (which is recognized in the *gasp* bible). The day may come where they will have their day on court, and our descendants will cross that bridge when they get there.
That is, if the society hasn't gone extinct.
Like your case.
New mountain conquered
The following paper illustrates a key component of my struggle, and why I have a tendency toward self-sabotage.
It's a 10-15-minute read, but damn well worth it because I'll bet cash money that if you do, you'll see a lot of this in some people you know, both personally and within the various fandoms we're a part of.
I had been researching victim mentality in connection with religious extremism, and a nuclear explosion "AHA!" moment went off in my head. This paper is the most comprehensive explanation I have found that puts it into perfect perspective. As it turns out, the 7 Habits and emotional intelligence I've been working on already gave me the elements to overcome this deep psychological conditioning. In taking responsibility for my life, examining the myriad possibilities of every encounter, and recognizing my own emotional responses, I can control how I respond to external stimuli.
Along with that pride of recognition comes a bit of shame, though. I always knew that the common element in all of my negative relationships was me, but couldn't figure out why. Now I know why. This conditioning was so deep, so insidious, that it took two years of hardcore personal growth to finally recognize it for what it was. Once I did, all the puzzle pieces fell into place, and I had an understanding like never before.
I feel like Smeagol after he tells Gollum to take a hike: I am free.
This is the part where I accept responsibility for my trespasses, admitting how I fucked up, and offer atonement through financial and emotional recompense to those I have wronged. Since I went through 39.75 years worth of these thought processes, it will take a bit time to make up for it.
My only hope right now is that this is a permanent thing, and I don't slip back into the anti-religious paranoid crazy at some point later on. Like any habit, I'll have to make a proactive effort to work on it all the time until it becomes a part of my natural thought processes.
It's a 10-15-minute read, but damn well worth it because I'll bet cash money that if you do, you'll see a lot of this in some people you know, both personally and within the various fandoms we're a part of.
I had been researching victim mentality in connection with religious extremism, and a nuclear explosion "AHA!" moment went off in my head. This paper is the most comprehensive explanation I have found that puts it into perfect perspective. As it turns out, the 7 Habits and emotional intelligence I've been working on already gave me the elements to overcome this deep psychological conditioning. In taking responsibility for my life, examining the myriad possibilities of every encounter, and recognizing my own emotional responses, I can control how I respond to external stimuli.
Along with that pride of recognition comes a bit of shame, though. I always knew that the common element in all of my negative relationships was me, but couldn't figure out why. Now I know why. This conditioning was so deep, so insidious, that it took two years of hardcore personal growth to finally recognize it for what it was. Once I did, all the puzzle pieces fell into place, and I had an understanding like never before.
I feel like Smeagol after he tells Gollum to take a hike: I am free.
This is the part where I accept responsibility for my trespasses, admitting how I fucked up, and offer atonement through financial and emotional recompense to those I have wronged. Since I went through 39.75 years worth of these thought processes, it will take a bit time to make up for it.
My only hope right now is that this is a permanent thing, and I don't slip back into the anti-religious paranoid crazy at some point later on. Like any habit, I'll have to make a proactive effort to work on it all the time until it becomes a part of my natural thought processes.
Workout progress report
Two months into the new workout regimen, I sport the following improvements.
Went from 26.4% body fat to 21.4% while maintaining the same 184-187 weight. That represents a 7-pound lateral transition of fat to muscle. My standard middle-aged pear-shaped midsection is shrinking as my upper body grows more definition.
Went from getting winded at half a mile to running 3 miles (at 5.5-7mph) like it was nothing. Can also run the 1 mile to work which has a 7 degree hill for 1/4 mile. Learned proper breathing and running technique.
I currently max out at 20 push-ups and 35 sit-ups, still can't do a full pull-up yet. Pullup max weight is 150 at 5 reps so far.
I am far more flexible than I was even as a teenager, thanks to pre-workout stretching exercises.
Post-workout soreness is drastically minimized now that my body has acclimated to the new demands.
Diet is vastly improved with more meat, veggies, protein/creatine smoothies, and cutting out the garbage. I still cheat but it's written in to the program. It's a good thing I love salad. Discovered the 8th-day miracle that is Greek yogurt.
I feel much lighter, more bouncy. I take stairs like they were nothing. I can perform tasks that used to hurt just by being vertical. I have more stamina, more energy. Everything I handle is becoming lighter. The fatigue and lethargy...gone.
My goal is an overall good healthy body, a balance of speed, endurance, strength, flexibility, and stamina. The excellence I perform in the gym translates to excellence in other parts of my life, eventually "spilling over" into each other to create a lifestyle of complete effectiveness. The physique will simply be a natural consequence of executing these priorities.
I'm on my way.
Just marking the date
Today marks my 10th "annifursery", a decade to the day I discovered furry.
6-month Adderall report
TL;DR version: The medication itself was only the beginning, a correct step towards helping me implement other life choices that all work together to get me where I am today...and where I will be in the future.
1. In the six months since I've started this new medication, I've been able to overcome or compensate for roughly 90% of the deep-rooted symptoms, behaviors, destructive thought processes and bad habits brought on by the ADHD. This includes the crushing lethargy, fatigue, depression and lack of motivation that has plagued me since 2007. Adderall isn't the be-all, end-all; it treats the symptoms, not the underlying cause (which remains a mystery), but I can finally move without feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders...or on my soul.
2. I sent in an application to the ADHD specialist program at Western Psych, who can help me manage the remaining 10%. This program offers better med management than my GP can provide, behavior modification, and life coaching to give me the direction I need to maximize my potential. I'll know in a couple of weeks whether I've been accepted; if not, they can still point me to other resources. I also signed a research and study consent form, so that I may become part of the solution.
3. This one is probably one of the most important. I've posted many times in this here journal about my experiences on other medications and therapies. At most I'd be okay for a month, then slide back into the crazy. Unlike the Strattera I was taking, the Adderall has yielded predictable, consistent results, every day; except, of course, for the few days I wasn't taking it for one reason or another. This has allowed me to build upon the positive behaviors that lead to good habits, instead of spiking a few days at a time and leading me back to square one.
4. My organizational skills, never really that good in the first place, have improved. I'm consistently keeping track of my finances in ways I've never been able to do before. That might not sound like much to people for whom such things naturally come easy or developed these habits early in life, but those who know me will know how much of a triumph that in itself can be. It's little more than a simple financial log in a notebook, but it has been effective enough to maintain awareness of my resources and expenses with no surprises. The reason this is so personally important is that after years of previous attempts at financial organization, which wouldn't even last a few days before I'd forget or let it go, where my finances would reach crisis mode again.
5. I am taking better care of my physical health. I joined a gym last month and have been using it, increasing my stamina and daily energy levels. My improvement has gone even better than I hoped: motions and movements that used to wipe me out now come much easier. Running a full mile would kill me just six weeks ago; now I barely even get winded, with energy to spare. It's not just with the workouts, but in my diet as well. I'm getting educated on food science, allowing me a better understanding of what I'm putting in my body. The one cheat I allow myself is an energy drink at the start of my day. Rockstar Punched = the PRECIOUSSS.... Other than that one cheat, it's a good thing I like salads and protein smoothies.
6. Much like steps 8 and 9 in addiction recovery, I have long since accepted responsibility for my trespasses against those for whom I've harmed as a result of my previous behavior. I've ruined not only my own credit and credibility, but those who believed in me and my half-assed "business ideas", over-promising and under-delivering, leading to a cycle of chronic mutual disappointment. I broke that cycle by reining in the ambition to a more manageable level, making more realistic choices about where to put my time, energy, stamina, and skills. I have begun the process of atonement through refunding and reimbursing those who have suffered financial losses as a result of my mistakes. I expect this process to take until May, where I can finally close that dark chapter of my life with a modicum of integrity restored.
7. I have switched back to a diurnal sleep schedule, consistently waking during the day and sleeping at night. I've had to decline extra work at my job because of this, but sleep is one thing I have learned not to compromise on. Sometimes I need assistance in falling asleep on time using melatonin or a couple shots of 100-proof philosophy, but for the most part I sleep better than ever; especially if I've been driving my physical body hard the day before.
8. Speaking of shots, I've moderated my alcohol intake. One thing I never shared here until now was that I had been sliding down that slippery slope, the one I managed to avoid until the last couple of years. I used to average 2-3 bottles of vodka a month, which certainly didn't help. Since I started the Adderall, I've totaled 3 bottles in the last six months, mostly in 2-shot increments just before bed, 2-3 times a week. The mornings after I take those shots, I wake up even more refreshed and ready to take on the day.
9: I owe a good portion of this recovery to my stable living situation and job I enjoy. I owe a debt of gratitude to my roomies and local friends for putting up with my crap while I got my shit together. I owe so much more to those who put up with me before I was able to get this far in my journey.
10. It is because of these choices that I am experiencing a deep and abiding satisfaction in life I haven't had in years, not even while on the previous medication. My emotional state can be considered stable and balanced, despite a couple of mood episodes over the last six months. I am feeling a sense of dynamism that has me looking forward to and planning for the future in a way I have never done before. I have a sense of determined optimism backed by honest reality, not pipe dreams and hairbrained schemes.
I can see the top of the mountain from here. With a little more help, I can make it the rest of the way.
So far, the view is FANTASTIC!
1. In the six months since I've started this new medication, I've been able to overcome or compensate for roughly 90% of the deep-rooted symptoms, behaviors, destructive thought processes and bad habits brought on by the ADHD. This includes the crushing lethargy, fatigue, depression and lack of motivation that has plagued me since 2007. Adderall isn't the be-all, end-all; it treats the symptoms, not the underlying cause (which remains a mystery), but I can finally move without feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders...or on my soul.
2. I sent in an application to the ADHD specialist program at Western Psych, who can help me manage the remaining 10%. This program offers better med management than my GP can provide, behavior modification, and life coaching to give me the direction I need to maximize my potential. I'll know in a couple of weeks whether I've been accepted; if not, they can still point me to other resources. I also signed a research and study consent form, so that I may become part of the solution.
3. This one is probably one of the most important. I've posted many times in this here journal about my experiences on other medications and therapies. At most I'd be okay for a month, then slide back into the crazy. Unlike the Strattera I was taking, the Adderall has yielded predictable, consistent results, every day; except, of course, for the few days I wasn't taking it for one reason or another. This has allowed me to build upon the positive behaviors that lead to good habits, instead of spiking a few days at a time and leading me back to square one.
4. My organizational skills, never really that good in the first place, have improved. I'm consistently keeping track of my finances in ways I've never been able to do before. That might not sound like much to people for whom such things naturally come easy or developed these habits early in life, but those who know me will know how much of a triumph that in itself can be. It's little more than a simple financial log in a notebook, but it has been effective enough to maintain awareness of my resources and expenses with no surprises. The reason this is so personally important is that after years of previous attempts at financial organization, which wouldn't even last a few days before I'd forget or let it go, where my finances would reach crisis mode again.
5. I am taking better care of my physical health. I joined a gym last month and have been using it, increasing my stamina and daily energy levels. My improvement has gone even better than I hoped: motions and movements that used to wipe me out now come much easier. Running a full mile would kill me just six weeks ago; now I barely even get winded, with energy to spare. It's not just with the workouts, but in my diet as well. I'm getting educated on food science, allowing me a better understanding of what I'm putting in my body. The one cheat I allow myself is an energy drink at the start of my day. Rockstar Punched = the PRECIOUSSS.... Other than that one cheat, it's a good thing I like salads and protein smoothies.
6. Much like steps 8 and 9 in addiction recovery, I have long since accepted responsibility for my trespasses against those for whom I've harmed as a result of my previous behavior. I've ruined not only my own credit and credibility, but those who believed in me and my half-assed "business ideas", over-promising and under-delivering, leading to a cycle of chronic mutual disappointment. I broke that cycle by reining in the ambition to a more manageable level, making more realistic choices about where to put my time, energy, stamina, and skills. I have begun the process of atonement through refunding and reimbursing those who have suffered financial losses as a result of my mistakes. I expect this process to take until May, where I can finally close that dark chapter of my life with a modicum of integrity restored.
7. I have switched back to a diurnal sleep schedule, consistently waking during the day and sleeping at night. I've had to decline extra work at my job because of this, but sleep is one thing I have learned not to compromise on. Sometimes I need assistance in falling asleep on time using melatonin or a couple shots of 100-proof philosophy, but for the most part I sleep better than ever; especially if I've been driving my physical body hard the day before.
8. Speaking of shots, I've moderated my alcohol intake. One thing I never shared here until now was that I had been sliding down that slippery slope, the one I managed to avoid until the last couple of years. I used to average 2-3 bottles of vodka a month, which certainly didn't help. Since I started the Adderall, I've totaled 3 bottles in the last six months, mostly in 2-shot increments just before bed, 2-3 times a week. The mornings after I take those shots, I wake up even more refreshed and ready to take on the day.
9: I owe a good portion of this recovery to my stable living situation and job I enjoy. I owe a debt of gratitude to my roomies and local friends for putting up with my crap while I got my shit together. I owe so much more to those who put up with me before I was able to get this far in my journey.
10. It is because of these choices that I am experiencing a deep and abiding satisfaction in life I haven't had in years, not even while on the previous medication. My emotional state can be considered stable and balanced, despite a couple of mood episodes over the last six months. I am feeling a sense of dynamism that has me looking forward to and planning for the future in a way I have never done before. I have a sense of determined optimism backed by honest reality, not pipe dreams and hairbrained schemes.
I can see the top of the mountain from here. With a little more help, I can make it the rest of the way.
So far, the view is FANTASTIC!
State of the Teddybear 2-24-13
Shit's going great.
Happy Ash Wednesday
Job update
Redux: two years ago, as I was working for a hotel, I noticed an opportunity to create a shuttle service serving suburban Pittsburgh hotels going to and from downtown. I've had this idea knocking around my noggin since then, even when I wasn't actively working on it. Back in November, when I had to choose between two competing transportation services who wanted to hire me, I chose the one that I felt would offer the best chance to make this idea into a reality.
Last month, I casually mentioned this idea to our sales manager, whose eyes lit up at my mention of it, so she asked for more info. I'd typed up 8 pages of abstract and gave it to her two weeks ago, who then forwarded it to the company owner. Yesterday, me and the head honcho had our first official meeting to discuss it.
He likes it, hey Mikey!
The good news is that he confirmed that it's a legitimate opportunity worthy of investing company resources, if nothing else just to see how much of an opportunity. We both acknowledged that there are a lot of known (and unknown) unknowns, but he has the experience and resources to address them quickly. As expected, he already has many of the professional relationships I sought in this idea, putting us way ahead of the game, rather than me starting from scratch.
The bad news is that the vision we each have for our ventures may not be congruent. He's dedicated ten years into what he has now, and my idea is an animal of a different stripe. It may require a radical shift in his operations or large financial investment to fulfill this idea, which might be too much for either of us. With our busy season approaching, the vehicles and drivers he has will already be booked solid throughout the spring and summer, so he'd have to add additional of both in order to make it happen.
He also warned me about the level of dedication required to keep this going (duh). He candidly told me that if he had to do it all over again, he wouldn't have opened the limo company he has today (I never told him why I quit carpentry, so I know the feeling). It's taken so much of his life and sanity that he has nothing left for his family. With that said, I have to make a choice about pursuing this, which is fraught with risk and stress, or simply backing away and becoming the best chauffeur I can be. The second option is incredibly tempting, since it's the most stable, safest, and guaranteed best-paying option.
I did notice a distinct shift in how he talks to me since I brought this to the table. Up until recently, I had been regarded with suspicion by both he and some of the office staff. As is my nature, I'd been asking too many questions. This was an effort to execute my duties to the fullest, solve problems, and make sure my solutions don't run counter to solutions they may already be working on. Communication and information, while critical in our business, is hit-or-miss in our operations, so I have to be proactive in getting the intel I need to do my job. I've been told straight-up, "You don't need to know this, just do your job" (Natch, I need to know this so I CAN do my job!). People have noticed and were wondering why I was so curious about the "big picture". Why was I asking about our booking and dispatch procedures? Why did I write down the license numbers of our fleet in my notebook? Now that I've had an opportunity to explain my reasoning, The Boss recognizes me as a not just a driver, but as a fellow entrepreneur, and explicitly offered himself up to the very mentorship I requested during our initial interview.
Ideally at this point, he'll offer me the guidance and direction I need to fill out this idea further, giving me homework and lend a bit of company credibility in gathering this information. Hopefully, he'll let me work alongside the sales manager, confer with her on ideas that she's been working on, and we can work together as a team to see what we can do with this.
After two years of having this idea, just getting it to someone who might be able to do something about it is a HUGE relief.
Last month, I casually mentioned this idea to our sales manager, whose eyes lit up at my mention of it, so she asked for more info. I'd typed up 8 pages of abstract and gave it to her two weeks ago, who then forwarded it to the company owner. Yesterday, me and the head honcho had our first official meeting to discuss it.
He likes it, hey Mikey!
The good news is that he confirmed that it's a legitimate opportunity worthy of investing company resources, if nothing else just to see how much of an opportunity. We both acknowledged that there are a lot of known (and unknown) unknowns, but he has the experience and resources to address them quickly. As expected, he already has many of the professional relationships I sought in this idea, putting us way ahead of the game, rather than me starting from scratch.
The bad news is that the vision we each have for our ventures may not be congruent. He's dedicated ten years into what he has now, and my idea is an animal of a different stripe. It may require a radical shift in his operations or large financial investment to fulfill this idea, which might be too much for either of us. With our busy season approaching, the vehicles and drivers he has will already be booked solid throughout the spring and summer, so he'd have to add additional of both in order to make it happen.
He also warned me about the level of dedication required to keep this going (duh). He candidly told me that if he had to do it all over again, he wouldn't have opened the limo company he has today (I never told him why I quit carpentry, so I know the feeling). It's taken so much of his life and sanity that he has nothing left for his family. With that said, I have to make a choice about pursuing this, which is fraught with risk and stress, or simply backing away and becoming the best chauffeur I can be. The second option is incredibly tempting, since it's the most stable, safest, and guaranteed best-paying option.
I did notice a distinct shift in how he talks to me since I brought this to the table. Up until recently, I had been regarded with suspicion by both he and some of the office staff. As is my nature, I'd been asking too many questions. This was an effort to execute my duties to the fullest, solve problems, and make sure my solutions don't run counter to solutions they may already be working on. Communication and information, while critical in our business, is hit-or-miss in our operations, so I have to be proactive in getting the intel I need to do my job. I've been told straight-up, "You don't need to know this, just do your job" (Natch, I need to know this so I CAN do my job!). People have noticed and were wondering why I was so curious about the "big picture". Why was I asking about our booking and dispatch procedures? Why did I write down the license numbers of our fleet in my notebook? Now that I've had an opportunity to explain my reasoning, The Boss recognizes me as a not just a driver, but as a fellow entrepreneur, and explicitly offered himself up to the very mentorship I requested during our initial interview.
Ideally at this point, he'll offer me the guidance and direction I need to fill out this idea further, giving me homework and lend a bit of company credibility in gathering this information. Hopefully, he'll let me work alongside the sales manager, confer with her on ideas that she's been working on, and we can work together as a team to see what we can do with this.
After two years of having this idea, just getting it to someone who might be able to do something about it is a HUGE relief.