I AM the law

Finally settled.

I'm largely saddened by my inability to bring work with me, so to say, but it has been demanded of me that I stop working and take a week vacation, spend some quality time with my children.

I don't know what the CEO of our firm is thinking, considering I am the best they've got, but he's always been entirely too kind to me. But, then again, I am the only one he sends out on impossible cases, that always, always end up with a huge success story.

I had to speak to my canadian suppliers about my temporary leave of absence. They weren't happy about it, but I suppose it'll do. Whoever the new criminal commissioner that they're going to elect, I trust my partners to do the right thing and buy him off make good relations with him. We DO NOT want any trouble, boys. I don't LIKE trouble. Neither does HE.

First half of the day I spent putting my suits in the closet, folding my shirts, organizing my socks, polishing my shoes. I always do that on Sunday because that'll give me more time to do things I am planning on doing, rather than worrying about my appearance.

A lawyer must always look good. ALWAYS.

Tenten, I know you are on vacation, but would you like to still work for me part time? I can electronically transfer funds to your bank account. (At least internet still works) It'll be just few hours, electronic filing, that is all. If you can't, that's all right too. I will, however, expect you at work and IN that uniform once we're OUT of this trip.

Let see, what else. Ah, yes. My roommate is a very wonderful mother of two. I believe I am blessed to have been paired up with such a good human being. Not to mention she makes excellent cookies~ You children all should try them.

I won't be patrolling at night - as I still have a lot of work to do - but I will be keeping my eye on certain children. (Mostly mine)To make sure there is not a lot of trouble. Also, Temari, honey, I want to speak to you about a few things, so why don't you come and see me sometime today maybe?

Gaara, I trust you to be a perfect gentleman you always are. (I know, I raised you myself) Lets not get anyone pregnant or bring any legal consequences out, shall we?

If either you or your other two siblings decide to kill someone, please tell me, so I can arrange the hiding of the body without much attention brought to it, all right?
I AM the law

I am trying my bestest here.

My children, it wasn't my idea, I swear.
The beautiful principal has asked me to find a sponsor for them and I have. Mystery Inc foundation also supports teenage mothers, illegal abortions and child sex slavery, so I figured this would be the perfect sponsor for the trip.

Everything else is out of my hands.
Including the trial. My trial has been postponed. I don't understand why. I've done such a wonderful job preparing for it. Damn it.
Well, fine.

Temari, Gaara, it seems I am still going to be watching over you on this trip. So don't DO anything I wouldn't do in front of witnesses.

or at least let me hide the body first
  • Current Mood
    accomplished
I AM the law

THE LAW IS IN NEED OF HELP!

It is not often I say that, but the law needs help.
With my horribly busy schedule I need someone to help me out in the office. Temari, the apple of my eye, suggested this girl Tenten to help me launder money help me around the office.

Temari, has she done any porno movies? I'd like to check them out... I need to know upfront so my clients won't be confused on what exactly her job function is...

I like the uniform choice, it is fantastic! Exactly what an underage little alcoholic should be wearing. I wonder if she takes drugs too. That should set up for an interesting date...

Tenten, if you'd like to start ASAP, for I have a large case coming through of one of my clients Serial rapist, murderer, bank robber, drag queen, pees in morning coffee, and beats babies that has been falsely accused of traffiking drugs through Konoha! Such, horrid accusations. My client is many things See listed above but he's definately not a drug dealer.

Anyway, I need a secretary immediately! If you would please come to this address 6969 Pr0n Street, corner of Hookerz AVE and Transvestite BLVD, suit number 6969..WHAT?

Also, if one of my clients asks for...*coughs* extra services, be sure to say "NO" ask for a wad of money, of which as your employer I will only take two percent. NEVER DO ANYTHING FOR FREE~!

Other than that, you're hired.

Temari, Gaara, is there anything you need from your big daddy man, my children?
I AM the law

(no subject)

Hellooooo Konoha~

My beautiful, beautiful Konoha, the cradle of my youth, the best college years, friends and high...-er..well enough of that.
I have just returned from my cruise to the beautiful Carribean, where I was the lawyer on a case of the century.


Of course, my client's privacy policy says I can't tell anyone about the case, but come on. This is a JOURNAL. NO ONE READS MY JOURNAL, RIGHT????


So, anyway. I present to you.....
DuN DUN DUN


People vs


Collapse )

After such moving speech, THE LAW PREVAILED. BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

So, after my client has been freed, and the rightcheousness re-installed and my suitcase stuffed with money I am returning to Konoha to my threetwo wards!

There better be NO FUNKY-MONKEY business going on, for the LAW IS ALWAYS WATCHING YOU...

even when you touch yourself at night