Hello, I’m Rain! I’m the host of The Folklore System. Bodily we’re somewhere between 25-35.

• While we are seeing a therapist (and several therapists have confirmed to us that we have a dissociative disorder), we have not yet gotten an official diagnosis yet.

I made this blog to have a safe space where we can talk about our experiences, and also hopefully help other systems by sharing what we know!

All systems (and non-systems) welcome, though some posts are NSFW (especially if Poison is positing) so I’m not comfortable with minors following me.

Alter List

Important things to note about this blog:

Use of names:
All names used on this blog (whether alter names or the names of individuals in our lives) are fake/pseudonym. This is to protect our identity, since several alters within this system aren’t comfortable with the system’s identity being public knowledge.

What type of system we are
All the experiences we talk about, are linked to us being a  traumagenic OSDD system with diagnosed c-PTSD. We have one host (Rain) who is primarily responsible for day-to-day life, and many alters who can switch/front to help out. We also have several persecutors. While Rain doesn’t black out when others front, they do experience brain fog.

This is not professional medical advice

I am not a medical professional and what I write about should not be prioritized over the advice of medical professionals.

We are only one system

Advice we may write about, are things that works for us/our specific kind of system. It will not be relevant for all kinds of systems.

TW: talking about an unstable persecutor

Hey guys, so I’d like some help with how to deal with my persecutor Depths

This is an alter I became aware of in January, who I at first thought was a protector, until he – about a week later – proved to be a jealous and unstable romantic-persecutor.

Since November I’ve been able to help the majority of my main persecutors become stable protectors. A large part of this is a contract I’ve written up that notes down a lot of firm rules the worst persecutors must follow. For most alters who’ve been in the contract, it’s helped them understand how to become better people.

But for this one alter – Depths – it’s had no effect at all. He keeps being jealous, controlling, romantically abusive, and every time I summon him to try to talk to him, he attacks me.

The other day we did manage to have a conversation, and I’d like feedback from people to tell me what I’m doing wrong, what I should say, or how I can handle Depths better moving forward

The documented conversation under the cut

TW for mentions of abuse and assault

Context that’s good to know:

1. Depths used to be a romantic protector back in our teens. I can’t remember it, but he has said that he’s been here for a long time, and that I used to be in a relationship with him back in the days (this must have been somewhere between the ages of 10-15). However, after our relationship with our abuser (16-19), Depths became corrupted and now thinks abusive love is true love.
2. I struggle with a thing that attracts persecutors: my brain needs the adrenaline of feeling fear and being in dangerous situations. I don’t know why, and I don’t know how to fix it (me and my therapist haven’t been able to even start figuring that one out yet), but I technically love being in danger and being afraid. Even if I want to be safe.

Keep reading

Torch: Earlier today I was going for a walk, and there just so happened to be some running-event nearby, so there were a lot of people out and about.

And… I saw so many men with my body type. Which made me feel really sad, because I cannot ever have that exact body type out here (our body is too short).

Not to mention that the body has so many health issues that we can often barely go for a walk without getting exhausted, we can often only run for a few minutes before we almost pass out. We have periods where I’m able to work out daily or every other day, but they’re so few and far in between.

I just want to be able to go for a run every day, and I think it’s really sad that I can’t just do that…

I will say, one of the most exhausting thing about being a system, is that every time I come out as a system to new people, we gotta go through that whole schtick where the other person is uncomfortable about me being a system/uncomfortable about interacting with my alters (cause they “don’t know this person” and “it’s a complete stranger they have to interreact with”, then I gotta ease them into it, and then finally they learn that this is normal actually and it’s not such a big deal actually

Rinse and repeat into eternity. I’ve done it over 60 times by now

My newest lifehack is that if a persecutor starts attacking me, I just put on a Caddicarus video and I’m safe for the next couple hours 🤙

It seems the mix of his high-energy and very silly humor makes it REALLY difficult for persecutors to stay in control, as it just completely blocks them out 😂

Working my damnest to document tonight’s persecutor attack in my diary, because it’s extremely important that this memory isn’t blocked out and lost

But also. I hate documenting this I’d rather do anything but relive it I don’t want to write it down but I have to

I do think it’s FACINATING that every time Torch’s frost-themed cult-corrupted family members show up, whoever’s fronting ALWAYS, instantly starts to feel very cold (sometimes to the point of getting shivers)

Like I was casually talking out into the air thanking Torch’s mother for helping me out earlier (she’s a very scary persecutor in a lot of fields, but she is 100% on my side if Soother or alters like him are attacking me), and suddenly the room got 10° colder before I heard her reply to me