Here dwells the brave at heart

Been a long time, huh? Well, lots has happened. It'll prolly be easier to list the events that have shaped my life as categories.

Work:
Still at Kenneth Cole. Still not making any real money.

Living Situation:
After couch surfing all summer, I finally found a place of my own towards the end of the summer. Its a total dump, but its cheap and it's mine. I'm in North Philly, but. I have my cats back, so it can't be all that bad.

Love Life:
Starting seeing a guy named Kris. Thought it was going to be beautiful, but just like everyone else I've dare to love, it's falling apart.

Career:
Quit ComedySportz and Ladies & Gentlemen in December. Tired of the social bullshit. Hope to try my had at stand-up. My podcast, Black Tribbles (www.blacktribbles.com) is growing steadily. Probably the one positive thing in my life right now. If you're into sci-fi, comic books, movies, tv, gaming, and all things nerdy, check us out.

I hope to come back to LJ so that I can have somewhere to put my thoughts. They've been sitting in my head too long, taking up space and thusly driving me crazy.

Anyone still here in LJ land?

So much has happened in five months. For instance, I left David because he was the most selfish person I've ever met. Plus, I've never met a man who was more into his Xbox than his girlfriend. He did give me a cat for Valentine's Day, so I guess that's his one redeeming note. I've moved out of his house, into my mother's, then out again. Currently all of my stuff is in storage and I'm couch surfing at Manny's, though I do have a place lined up provided everything goes well. My cats are in foster care, which breaks my heart the most. I'd only began to get to know little Mercury, the little Russian Blue bombshell who delighted in torturing her older brother, Ting.

Work has been going well - the one consistent thing in my life as of late. I've been scouted at J.Crew and there are good things in the works. Cross your fingers that they offer me something better than what Kenneth Cole is paying me, because I can use the cash!

I've had slight flings since I've moved on from The Adversary (which is how I refer to David now), but none of them have stuck. I just recently began getting to know Tyler, one of Manny's friends. He makes me smile and forget that I am not an awkward little girl anymore. ( Collapse )

I just realized that he's 14 years older than me. I should care, but all I think of is a good wine. He's attractive, well-kept, fun, successful... And he scares the shit out of me, because of all this. After The Adversary, I am gun-shy in every sense of the term. While I'm obscenely interested, I'm too nervous to make any moves that may jeopardize our very new connection. I'm seeing this as a good thing, an opportunity to NOT fuck this up. We're going to karaoke on Thursday with most likely the same group of people that were there before, and we've been discussing duets to sing. Sheesh!

I hope beyond hope that this will not crash and burn like everything else I've loved. To ensure that it's not me that fucks it up, I'm keeping my distance until he reaches out to me, or Thursday, whichever happens first. :p

Yeah, remember how I said I had till March 1 to find a place? Evidently, we were further behind in rent than I thought we were, and March 1 has turned into February 1. I KNOW. So, because I don't have enough money saved up, nor did I find a place, I have to move in with David. I. Am. TERRIFIED. Terrified for the sake of our relationship, for the sake of the maintenance my sanity while living in a house with no kitchen or shower, etc, etc. Basically the move will happen this weekend. So here I am again, packing all my shit to move somewhere I don't wanna be.

Don't get me wrong, I love him. I love the fact that he's cool with me living there. So, so thankful for all of these things. But what the hell, man?! Every time I move, I leave behind 20-30% of all I own, and I STILL have a fuckload of shit to pack. Every time I get comfortable, I have to up and move again. This shit blows.

Still, enough monkeying around on this computer. Up and at them!

So. I've updated a few times since my last post via the new mobile posting dealie, but apparently it sucks rhino cock. Go figure.

Work:
Work's been great! After only six months, I was one of the top associates for 2010 in our store. Because of it, the higher ups are considering me for management. I KNOW. I enjoy doing what I do, so it's a bit weird excelling at something I didn't anticipate enjoying. I have a handful of great Kenneth Cole pieces in my wardrobe now, and even though all that shit's purely material, it still feels good knowing that I have a bit of polish in my closet.

Acting:
The Ladies & Gentlemen Christmas Special went rather well, considering how much PJI shafted us. I still wanna push Vrooman down a flight of steps, but other than that, good shit. I'll be subbing for another CSz cast member on 2.12 to do sound for the first time. I'm incredibly nervous, but also very excited.

Home:
Once again, I am in the lookout for a place to live. The lease is up in March, so I need to find something quick-like and in a hurry. I'd like to stay in this neighborhood, as potentially dangerous as it may be, because it has grown on me. I like living in a puertorican neighborhood, plus because the area's so shitty, rent should be cheap and I'm only 15 mins away from the city. I just hope I can find something decent in such a brief amount of time...

David:
...wow, where do I begin? We've had our ups and downs, and I do mean UPS and DOWNS. I still love him dearly, enough to put up with all his crap. We've got a long way to go, though. While we can recognize and accept that our love for each other is real, we still need to develop the patience to deal with our differences. Cuz there's a lot of them. While we have similar interests, we're as different as different can be. I love the fact that we know we want to be with each other for the rest of our lives. What I love even more, is that I'm wise enough to know that jumping into a deeper level of commitment this early would ruin our relationship. He's somewhat convinced me to go on a cruise with him in October, so that should be nice. Of course, I'm more focused on finding a place to live at present, so I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

And now, the fun part: ( Collapse )

Right. I'll try and update more often. This is the only place I can really express my thoughts without fear of rejection, judgment, criticism, etc.

Ta!

So. Things are good. Work's good, show's are good, the bf's good. 's good. :)

I think it's time to kiss the fro goodbye in lieu of this hotness:







I'm sick of my nappiness. I know, I know. I totally accept my hair's natural texture, and will never deny my Africa. However, I need a change. I've been natural for 8 years now, and my hair ain't gettin' any longer. Methinks it just ain't in the books. Sure, I could get the micros again, but I reeeeeeally don't feel like having my sides thin out anymore than they already are. Anyway, this cut is FIERCE. Needs it...!!

Man. I had so much to catch up on until this page opened up. Now I'm drawing a blank...

I should be in bed, and yet I'm waiting up till I get paid so I can buy the unitards for my Harley costume and have them overnighted to the store. I have off on Friday, so I'll be able to book it to Mom's and make the darn thing. I hope, hope, HOPE I've made enough to afford it, cuz as it is, it's roughly $190, including overnight shipping. YIKES. We'll see in less than a half an hour. If not, I'm shit outta luck...

...maybe. I'm checking other stores in the area to see if anyone's got what I'm looking for cheaper. That would save my life, especially since I have to pay my phone bill and Dad's birthday is on Monday. *facedesk*

In other news, I've been riding my bike to work for about a week now, and even though I hate it, I feel great. The results are almost instant, so it's nice to know that all this hustling is paying off. Although, if I can't get the pieces I need for this costume, it'll all be for naught. Especially since I still hafta pay my phone bill AND Dad's birthday is on Monday. *facedesk*

3 minutes till the moment of truth...

OMFG!! I knew I did well last week, but I didn't know I was that awesome!! Right. So the pieces are bought, and my phone bill's paid. Now I gotta find Dad a cheap inexpensive gift, get car fare for the next two weeks (maybe not that much - I do like knowing I can get to work in 30mins on my bike), and absolutely SIT on the rest of it till my next check.

In other news, things are okay with David. He's back from Mexico and working on his house for this party of his. I'm totally not going, btw. All I can picture is the guys gathered 'round the tv playing video games while the girls are hovering in a corner, like it's middle school or some shit. Though, if I bang this costume out sooner than I anticipate, I may make an appearance for an hour or two. ...maybe. Anyway, I told him I wasn't going since I had to work the next day, so to compensate, we're going out on Saturday to paint the town red. And black, for that matter. If I end up going, it'll be a surprise, so Saturday night will be all the awesomererer. ..right. There will certainly be photos, and I hope to God that I don't get scheduled for that Sunday, else, I will cut a bitch. ;)

Omg, I fucking hate money. I hate what it does to people, I hate how it runs the world, and I hate that my blood pressure's still up from waiting for my balance. Sheesh!

Nighters!

So. Annoyed. I planned a day trip to NY to visit Marell and a few other friends on Sunday, and my check wasn't what I needed it to be. So, after getting my bike fixed to avoid paying for Septa, and rent and shit, I won't be going anywhere but to bed.

:(

I love how I try to do things the legitimate way, and can barely make ends meet, but the niggas that hustle crack, coke, and other shit are sittin on 22's. No justice in this world. AND I'm a horny mess on top of it, with no prospect of getting any till next week? Not cool, man.

...Yanni's sitting here eating a hoagie and I fucking want one. Can my teeth (or my wallet, for that matter) handle a hoagie? No. Does that stop me from wanting one? FUCK no.

Frustration. Ain't. The. Word.

So I got a new phone about a week ago. This is me testing out mobile LJ from my Blackberry.

...Right. Life's been okay. Work is now werk, things at home are blah. I need to find another job since I'm broke as hell, looking to move out in March. Yikes...

Things with Dave are intersting. Lots of ups and downs, trials and tribulations, but we manage to make it work. ...well, I manage to make it work anyway. But that's another story. ;) He left for Mexico this morning to help a friend move back. He'll be gone until the 20th, and while I went for years without him in my life, I hope to keep it together while he's gone for a week and a half. Fair warning: I may turn into a mopey, sopping mess in the duration of his absence, so I beg your pardon ahead of time.

Rehearsal tonight for the new Ladies & Gentlemen show. I wish I was excited, but the idea of certain people involved with this project makes me wanna kick a puppy. Fucked up, right?

Whatever. I have a slight headache, so I'ma take a nap before I hafta be conscious for rehearsal.

Ta!

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

Pretty much where my head's at the past couple of days. :)

I still don't feel so well, but I do feel a bit better. I cleaned up the living room, so I'll leave the dining room and the kitchen for tomorrow morning.

...I should probably eat something. I had two hot dogs earlier, but if we're gonna be drinkin tonight, I need to have more on my stomach. I also need to find an ibuprofen and a bicarbonate somewhere. My face still hurts, and if I don't take something for it soon, I'll be grumpy pants all night. :/

I have my feet in one of those massaging foot tub dealies right now. I figure I can sit here for another 15-20 minutes before getting in the shower. By the time I wash and condition my hair, style it, paint my finger and toe nails, and do other assorted girly type shit, Dave and his brother should be here. Then I can focus on his make-up and hair before putting on my own spattering of warpaint.

...I just want my face to stop hurting!!!!! My whole life gets thrown off track when this shit flares up. It's actual, physical pressure in my head and mouth, and everything has to be altered to accomodate the pain. Why, oh why, don't we have universal healthcare yet? Why are those fucktard Republicans so against the idea of me going through life without this potentially life-threatening condition?!

*whinepoutsuffer*

All right - get it together, girl. Showtime in less than four hours!!