do not perceive me

this is what spending money on literally anything feels like in this economy

if you complete one task off your to do list you should be allowed 3 days of chilling afterwards as a reward

everything you see on tumblr is biased towards the perspectives of the types of people who post a lot on tumblr. this is essential to remember

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

this is like Schrodinger’s fucking meme because half the time the pic is deleted and the other half it’s visible

World Heritage Post

one day i will crack my back in a way that will solve all my life problems

I only watched the first three seasons, there’s only so far this parody can go.

wait, I remembered one more thing I know about Supernatural

a perfectly ripe mango could change the trajectory of my life

i genuinely just don’t think people who don’t want to drive should have to. i think driving should be optional and it’s weird that we pressure people who are uncomfortable with it into doing it

you know who we should make operate a 4000 pound machine that goes 80 miles an hour? people who are really anxious about it

whats a gender neutral word you could use for your spouse? wusband?? hife?? wifesband?!?!?

i may be stupid

This is the text version of looking for your glasses when they are on your head

hunting down tumblr posts i see on pinterest part 1399

(nods sagely) (nods basily) (nods rosemarily) (nods saltly) (nods star anisely)

broooooo ahaha that's so epic. do you mind if i grow fond of you

you know when you get Autism Mad. like something happens in a non-ideal way and in your brain you know it literally doesnt matter but in your other more autistic brain youre like screaming & scrying & shitting the bed etc. i think you should be able to go into settings and opt out of that. i have better things to get upset about than failing to put up a decoration on the optimal day or being too stubborn to solve a problem via simple communication

Do the AI people know that the rest of us who never got on the bandwagon are still doing everything the same way we always have

Pro-censorship wattpad refugees drama is so funny to me because when I started using ao3 as a kid I was a devout mormon and I thought that reading anything even remotely pornagraphic was a sin and would ruin my life. So when I was 13 and found ao3 I went "oh awesome I found a fanfic website with a filtering system so I won't ever randomly stumble into porn. This is great! I was really worried about seeing something I didn't want to see on the other platforms." I didn't read any smut online until like three years later. If a mormon 13 year old can figure out 'don't like don't read' wattpad users can too cmon you guys i believe in you.