TEUFORT: A Team Fortress 2 RP

This is to everyone who's sent me an application for them. If we already have a class, you can't be a female version of it. We've thought this over and it's just going to cause problems. Also, if there's already a class taken that you want, please don't try and apply as them. At the moment, we have no Heavies and one Demoman available on the BLU team. We also have a bunch of side characters (Saxton Hale anyone?) that need to be filled. If you want to accept the challenge and RP as one of them, please, feel free to send me or the Administrator a message.

Also, no Tentaspies. Seriously. As much as we think Tentaspies are hilarious, you people cut that shit out.

I don't want to put your name on here because you sent me a letter through Facebook, so I have no clue if you'd want your name shown or not. Anyway. Your privacy settings are messed up and I can't send you a message back. So this is what I have to tell you regarding rules and how to join as BLU Engineer (and I guess this applies to anyone else who wants to join).

Here's how to join.

And here are our rules.

Long story short: send me a PM with a 3rd person paragraph as your character of choice and we'll go from there (also make it so that you can receive messages next time).

Yes, I've been away from you bumbling idiots for quite some time. I would say that I've been gone longer than I've wished, yet this is not the case. If I were able to, I would ignore you fools much, much longer, but there is much work to be done. And two men in particular are becoming annoyed with your inactivity on the battlefield. One has even threatened to snap your necks, one by one.

But I digress.

You have new members on your teams. Befriend them. New members, you have teammates. Befriend them. Inactive members, you are inactive. I will be sending out pink slips shortly, as well as activity checks for those I have not seen write a monthly log as of yet.

We will have a battle soon. Hopefully this will cure the dry spell that we've been having, since I simply cannot tolerate this level of idiocy and inactivity. I have, also, had a message sent to me from one of the disgruntled members of the RED team, commenting to me that his fellow teammates were, and I quote, "stupid ass drunks and morons who couldn't hit a goddamn target if it stabbed them right in the freakin' face". It would behoove you, RED team, to schedule a meeting soon to either discuss this matter with and/or pummel this particular teammate of yours.

You have been informed. See to it that you act according to my demands.

The Administrator's feeling a little under the weather (she had a little too much to drink last night after trying to drown her hatred for everyone through martinis) so I'm taking over for her and just doing a quick post about who's around still and who isn't.

I know that the RP's been kind of quiet lately, 'cause I know classes started up again and a lot of people (like me) have been busy 'cause it's the beginning of the year (or since some of us kind of have gotten addicted with Tumblr recently… *ahem*), and that's totally okay. I haven't been paying attention to who's been posting and who hasn't, so here's what I propose for an activity check.

COMMENT ON THIS POST BY 2/24/11 WITH AT LEAST ONE OF YOUR JOURNALS IF YOU'RE STILL ACTIVE. That's a whole week to check and see if everyone who still wants to be in the community is sticking around. If you just joined this month, you don't have to comment. But once everyone checks in, I'll get the Administrator to contact everyone who hasn't and send them their pink slips (since I'm pretty sure it's been over three weeks since a couple of people have been active).

A new battle log should be coming in the next week (but given how notoriously bad the Admin is with updating them, this is probably only a guess). If you guys want to do something other than a battle log, let me know.

Due to recent events, I feel that I must make an announcement regarding employee termination. If you feel that you wish to resign from our fort, do NOT, and I mean DO NOT leave by deleting your account. It is entirely unfair to your teammates to lose pieces of their logs, or pieces of conversations they have worked on with you if you decide to destroy everything that you have written. It also displeases me, because that is an immature and callous move, possibly one that is more cold-hearted than anything that I could ever possibly do. Which is just yell at you.

In the future, to present and to future members, act like the grown-ups that you are and please, instead, message me or iamthescouthere like a responsible, mature human being if you feel you must depart. Yes, I have the capability and the desire to bite off your heads, but if you feel like you cannot handle the responsibility nor the role of a mercenary, I will not do anything other than give you a fond farewell and possibly a basket of fruit.

But you get no fruit baskets for deleting your account. All you get is a public shaming. And everyone will remember you as the team member who... oh, what is it that they are calling people who leave without warning these days? Ah yes. Ragequitters.

You have all found this informative.

Updates for 1/4/12

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Just sayin'.

Actually, we were going to have a battle today, but since everyone's gone for Christmas, we're pushing up the Christmas themed battle until the 26th. Then everyone can join in without having to jump into an already ongoing battle.

Happy holidays and Merry Christmas, everyone!

TWO DAYS UNTIL YOUR NEXT BATTLE.

I've changed my mind. We will in fact battle again. And I am not giving any of you any paid vacation time. You will just have to work through the holiday and suck it up.

You'll receive your orders for this next fight via private messages. It has taken me a long time to write out each of your separate instructions, so you better appreciate them. Ho. Ho. Ho.

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Due to the influx in OOC posts we've been having on people's character journals lately, I created an OOC community, where you can post about hiatuses, fun TF2 stuff, or whatever else that's unrelated to the RP. I think it'll be better for separating all of the OOC stuff with the IC stuff, just so that everything is organized and so we can have a central hub to socialize.

(Also, we have someone applying for BLU Engineer. Anyone can still apply for him if you want him, since he hasn't been taken yet, but I need to write this down 'cause the person who asked to join disabled private notes. So I will embarrass them here. xD blakemonroe, PM me a third person paragraph as your character and then I'll let you know about joining! And set your privacy settings so I can send you a PM next time! Thanks!)

Please update your friends page by copying and pasting the list in this post into your computer console. You all now have a BLU Sniper and a RED Demoman. Treat them with the same respect you treat your current co-workers. Imagine that last sentence to be drenched in a generous amount of sarcasm.

Also, battles are postponed until my assistants and I get the mercenary situation sorted out. In the meantime, do whatever it is you buffoons do with your free time. I will temporarily allow you all to travel outside of the fort's boundaries if you wish to lollygag off base, but keep in mind that I have had dangerous microscopic devices secretly embedded inside of each of your skulls, which will implode if you linger away for far too long (you will be given a ten-second warning if this occurs).

That is all for now.